TallMuscl37

I would just ask, “Are you comfortable being in the nude while doing the massage, or is that not something you offer?“ And it’s either yes or no at that point. Can’t control whether a person gets mad or not…you can decide whether you want to continue things the way they are or look elsewhere.

Right? You would think…but it’s not. Often times if one tells a client they’re getting a room “just for our meeting”, they’ll say, “well don’t get it just for me”. Well then what do you want lol. Some people contradict situations beyond what is reasonably called for. That’s why I no longer book anything “just for” one person, and I tell them no: I’m not booking it JUST for you, I’m going to stay there overnight too. And/or take more bookings if I need to, if I’ve paid for it. But since you’re priority and it’s no guarantee I will fill in an extra booking, it needs to be settled accordingly. What I decided to do for now is up my deposit for incalls moreso than for outcall sessions. Outcalls are generally much easier. I have considered before to stop offering incalls in my local market, but it’s next to impossible because that’ll be 99% of all bookings. It’s disappointing that so many clients can’t host in one area. But like someone said, when everybody is married or DL, this is what you have to work with.

This is what I need and I’ve tried to arrange here and there. I sorta have an agreement like this where I host from in one city. It has a private separate entry to use. But it’s small overall and not somewhere I can be full time. I also knew a guy in Kansas City and his partner who has an Airbnb they lived/rented part time, but they wanted to rent it full price and not allow guests. Sucks because it’s prime location. I’m about ready to just re-land in another city and get a regular spot. Hotels suck. But so do apartments. I’ve been shopping around and literally can’t find anything I’m interested in. Either doors are too close, or it’s upstairs, or parking is an issue. Or out of budget. I wouldn’t mind a private cottage in the woods somewhere. Sometimes houses aren’t really discreet if they’re too close to each other.

Well, that’s a more complex topic and I don’t think that belongs to this thread. Here’s the thing: I DO have other sources. The main thing is hosting. It’s easy to throw suggestions out without really taking into consideration the other person’s circumstances. Last thing I need is someone to harp and try to criticize a situation. Don’t go there with me ✋🏾 Unless you ask me personally what the situation is, don’t make assumptions. Plus I know people who are in better shape than me financially, in other lines of work…and they can’t host either. So it has nothing to do with living “week by week”. Let’s just be clear on that. And I should mention: I do host part-time from a place in 1 of the cities I reside (and this is partly why I can’t take on a extra work because I’m not in the same location full time), however that’s only when I’m in that city. When I’m in the other area I reside, or traveling to a different city, I don’t have accommodations to host readily available. Doable when I’m traveling but not so much when I have to leave “home” and go to a hotel. It somewhat worked back when I first came to the area, but then the clients kept booking more last minute, not minding to book more in advance, or they wouldn’t be available on the days/time I could give them. So I’ve tried to just switch to outcalls only in particular areas.

Namely because the hotel check-in process, always seems to go wrong. In the past couple weeks: I’ve had 3 hotels that couldn’t get my key card to work, and another that had some issue with the 3rd party I booked on. Each time, anywhere from 15-20 minutes gets burned up, which is time I need to get settled. All the while, the client is waiting and I’m looking bad. I always try to tell clients let me get to the hotel first, and then I’ll notify you to come. But very often they want a specific time and then show up early. It doesn’t leave room for something to go wrong. Not to mention, hotel prices are barely making any sense. I may not ALWAYS have funds available for a hotel + deposit. Sometimes the friends and family, AAA, points, come in handy but not always. It would be great if more clients can host, because it puts the expectation on us to “always be ready” at home even when we can host. I don’t even get the hotel clients much where I currently live, like when I lived in Dallas and Orlando. I almost want to tell clients they need to book a hotel if they can’t host at home either. But then they’ll expect me to discount the rate, etc. if they agree to it at all. Most aren’t going to, even when they know they can’t host.

Bravo 🙌🏾 However, idk if turnover rate can necessarily be attributed solely on the basis of client behavior. It could be a myriad of things. At the end of the day, many providers are being exposed to people who may not be their type. I’ve grown to learn: screen, screen, and screen someone. But just yesterday I had a client show up and I almost sent him home. Not because of his looks, but because he failed to include some other details about himself, and his “iPhone emoji” was not an accurate portrayal of him. But even that gave off a weird vibe. Most clients are okay sending pictures, but it’s starting to be a little bit of a red flag if they don’t. I don’t like surprises. There’s really no reason these days to not include a picture when approaching providers. Sometimes it almost “annoys me” that someone intentionally doesn’t show what they look like. Iif we’re going to meet, you might as well anyway. Atleast a body pic/half face I also don’t think that bad =bad and good =good all the time. Similar to how it’s no different if God escorts get bad clients. Lot of it is down to market, city, website.

This is a good policy, but idk… Cancellations for us (or me) tend to come with a lot of inconvenience. It’s hard to just brush and shrug something off. I admit personally: I can be bad at keeping doctors/etc appointments here and there. However, they often schedule them so far in advance, and it’s more hassle trying to “be there” versus just seeing me with a day or 2 notice. Another thing that happens every so often: you get to the client’s place and nobody answers. This has happened a few times, but fortunately many have hit me back and apologize, “sorry I fell asleep/was downstairs, etc “ There’s been times I’ve driven long distance to hear that, and I’m just hit with a wave of disbelief 🫢 But imagine if they didn’t? That is unforgivable. Have that happen enough times, I wouldn’t want to give a 2nd or 3rd time. It does surprise me though how places in the business world handle cancellations. Most seem pretty lenient. However they often are just stationary in an office and have clients booked on a schedule the whole day. Not us.

One thing that’s worth noting: over the past few years in the states, RentMen has pretty much become the monopoly site to be on. The only other sites to “shop” are either A4A, hookup apps or some of the very underground sites like “escort alligator”. I will have to say, fortunately I get far less “my other guy for $100” stories. Most of that though, tends to be from the A4A brigade. I think I’m going to take the step and remove myself from that platform, because it’s simply not making me hardly any money nowadays. I get the hits and exposure, but over the last couple years it’s really gone downhill. Not to mention they won’t allow rates and their mobile version barely allows any advertising or suggestion of being a professional.

What I would want to know is: how are the rent boys faring? It’s one thing to say somebody can get ‘em cheaper in another country, but what’s the situation like for them? Remember here in America: clients expect us to host, and have nobody else in the house/hotel, etc etc. All that costs money. On top of that: clients want to be protected from stds, this and that virus, etc. I can do clients for $100: but I’ll need to be setting 3-6 times the amount to make up for it. Do I really want to be seeing 3-6 times the amount of clients? Do YOU want to see someone who has to see 3-6 times the amount of clients? And let’s just face it: people out here probably aren’t really buying s*x like they may do in some other countries. many profiles on Grindr and Adam are about how such and such doesn’t pay and that said person should go and get a “job” (when reality it’s more of a projection of how much of a cheap ass and tight wad they actually are even if money wasn’t involved). That’s why I said awhile back: I rather ask $250-500/hr-couple hrs and be okay, than to do half that and still not be able to fill in enough clients to make it worthwhile.

Or Mexico… But then again, 100-200 likely goes further than here. Like hotels in even mediocre cities are running in that range.

It seems more popular in the larger cities. Hard to find that in some markets. My biggest pet peeve annoyance in the biz and just hookups in general: it’s often a problem that someone can’t host. Either they are married/partnered or live with family/roommates. I also feel clients often times assume we can host them at any hour at short or unexpected notice. I have heard of providers who refuse to host clients at all, they’re usually out the game after a year or 2. In some cities, probably most cities: if you can’t host, that cuts you out of like 50-75% of business. In Kansas City and other “closeted” towns, the numbers can be worse. More like 90%. It would be nice if I could use a hotel for a few hours in my local city, because when I’m here I am not hosting short notice. But many hotels: they’re too cheap to hire housekeeping after 2 or 3 p.m. So any sort of “check in” is billed as an entire night. My solution has just been to have clients book and send a deposit, and the days I get a room: that’s reserved as a day to host and be available.

You mean escorts should be able to see the ratings of clients… But then again, you do have a point. Escorts can see ratings of other escorts as well.

What country is that?

I think that is more of the issue than the actual transaction. Falling for more than 1 guy at a time can be a bit much.

Absolutely not. I beg to differ. And as an update: he did make due on his end after I reasserted that THERE WAS an expectation to get paid for the session. He told me he wanted to go with X amount and was going to send the deposit, and I would be meeting him in the city location he was at. That never happened. He psyched me up all afternoon and then ghosted me over the weekend, until I reached back out to him and find out what happened. By that time he was, “already home”. So then: why the F*CK did you make like we were going to be meeting? Complete waste of my time! the communication I posted was only a snippet…it wasn’t everything. There was some other stuff leading up to that, which included some explicit questions. I will admit: I have been that flake “client” (not technically but figuratively) this past weekend. I had agreed to do something Saturday with someone that had been planned a month ago. I was all for it, up until the day of. I hated to cancel, but I felt I would have to “kill” myself in order to do it, so I manned up and gave the person a detailed reason as to why I could not attend. I seen him read my messages, but no response. So it’s nice to see the other end of how people would handle someone who flakes. Each time, I see they cut me off and don’t bother. The message to me always shows I guess I wasn’t that important to them anyway, and maybe God showed me a reason to flake 🤷🏾‍♂️ This is #1 irony pet peeve lol! Sometimes I joke: if I want a client today, I need to engage in something else that will be very inconvenient to break away from. That’s when I’ll get a request lol. I can literally be sitting in a hotel room free all day long, or even 2 days long: bed made, dick out, horny as a rock. Then the moment it’s time to check out, someone asks to meet. That’s why I stopped doing that and have cut down on the same day bookings without deposits. I have also made a disclaimer that I’m not always available for same day bookings, unless they really hit me up like first thing in the morning for LATER in the day. Like last night, I had this beautiful middle eastern guy hire me (I will say: it seems the clients are getting younger as I’m getting older 😆). He hit me up at like 4:30 in the morning. I was sleep but that gave me enough time to schedule him later in the evening when I arrived to his city. Hmm…well, sorta but not really. Moving to a different city can fortunately change the whole game. Often just visiting a different city, never fails to get things chugging along again. The less competition, the better in most places. And competition isn’t always in the form of other escorts, but of what the general gay scene is. 2 cities that come to mind are Milwaukee and St. Louis: Both can often go from $0 to $1,000 and back to $0 week by week. But because they are both very White and very Black…you’re either hot to some or, just another “one of them”. The dichotomy is: a force to be reckoned with. A city where I’m able to stand out without having to indirectly compete with “demographics” would be great. If Hawaii and Alaska weren’t so far out, I’d of moved there. May have to settle for Maine or Key West instead.

Well it’s the pictures of cases that seem to be causing so much alarm. We as gays are very attuned to our appearance and stigma. Sometimes not being deadly and not leaving scars doesn’t mean that you won’t be out of work, looking ill, or unable to have sex for 2-3 maybe even a whole month. However, being a sex worker still isn’t really much more of a factor than it would be for anyone else active in the MSM community. It’s not like, you’re less likely to get it if you don’t exchange money for it. And it’s not like I’m having clients round the clock either. If you take a typical single, gay, attractive, under 60 (because I know many sex parties and orgies are usually the guys in their 40s and 50s) who’s living in the city and has their face plastered on every hookup app: I can guarantee you that the amount of miscellaneous sex partners they have, would put an escort to SHAME.

Well that is true…because as I said above, it’s all about those boundaries (which I say for lack of better word). I don’t like the word boundaries in hookup situations because it sounds like a power game…which I’m not trying to do. But I say boundaries in terms of “I want to accommodate you, but I can’t simply accommodate you on YOUR terms. You have to be willing to FIND OUT what I can and can’t accommodate, and then work and adjust to that. If a dude wants to be stubborn and pigheaded and only want to do things his way, it’s not going to work. I think that’s the most annoying part of living in one of the cities I’m in regularly. So many of the clients didn’t want to give me any options, when I could see them: they didn’t want to. When they hit me up, it was always super short notice “are you available NOW” types. When I would be like, yes I can meet at such and such time, they would say it’s too late or not respond. Then I would end up having to drop them as a client. So now I had to find a new city to live because a whole city of clients couldn’t be bothered to show much consideration for my time and schedule. Which they think is, sitting around in bed waiting for them Day and night.

Hmm…meh 🫤 I mean, it is what it is. I don’t think it’s much point in resurfacing a situation with someone that never received proper closure. At the end of the day: sorry that it happened regardless, but who knows what the actual reason could have been. Of course, it sounds like a different time. We weren't dating, we were just fucking. But at the same time, that’s the whole point I’m addressing. It doesn’t have to be dating to get respect. I’m “just fucking” people all the time, but it doesn’t mean I can’t set some level of boundaries. And that includes: no private calls, no appointments without exchanging numbers, no (new or me having to host) appointments without deposits. And not too much showing up at the last minute without informing me. I understand that sounds like being an insufferable bitch 😆 But it’s really not. It’s simply that I’ve done all that in the past, on more than 1 occasion, and concluded that settling for those situations don’t lead to healthy boundaries. I already have to settle with A LOT of shit already, but I do have my limits. I used to f**k a (bi-discreet) married guy years ago. I still used to come over to his place, know where he worked, and had his number. All basic things to ensure either of us wouldn’t be untraceable had we been missing lol. We just made it work.

Not really because as far as I know: it’s not a “sex workers” disease any more than it’s a “gay” disease. I feel if someone leaves or reduces biz because of whatever the latest virus in circulation comes up: then they should hold the same standards to hookup apps or other gay spaces as well. But as far as I know: people are still frequenting those platforms as well.

I hear what you’re saying, but here’s the thing: y’all were fuck buddies. Meaning you guys had a regular thing going and probably had a bit of a conditioning that it was okay to hookup on short notice. In quote: “if I happened to be home when he called and he asked to come over within the half hour, my answer was never no. Why would it be when he was so damned hot?” I’ll tell you why (in fact I’m think you said it): because the very last time we met I returned his call via *69. He answered but seemed angry that I had found out where he worked by returning his call, and even though he came over that afternoon and we had fun I never saw him again. See the disrespect? He was all fine and dandy long as he had the say in when to connect. Once you attempted the terms, suddenly it wasn’t okay…and he cut the connection. That’s why you should have said no. That’s why I say no. It can’t be just all about them just because it’s a paid session. It has to be a mutual thing. Idk why some people don’t get it. I understand sex can be spontaneous. That’s not the problem. In fact, with this client mentioned, I gave him a same day/last minute apppintment the 1st time we met. The problem comes when I give a person 1 chance to do something unplanned: then they do it again, and again. And have no respect for my time if I can’t do it in that moment. And when I try to schedule them any later/sooner than NOW, they can’t do it. Well too bad. Should of planned better. Why is it suddenly my problem that they horny 14 months after the last time we met, but you can’t host and/or travel and can’t meet past 3 pm? It’s that type of stuff, I just don’t get. I want things to go smoothly, and have a good time and enjoy: but I can’t do it if I’m being stressed and pressured by people to do things that are simply inconvenient. I’m not a huge planner myself, I get it. But at least allude to the provider (without making no show bookings) that you intend to see them in the future. Idk why it’s so hard to say: “hey Jarrod, I can’t book you now but I am eyeing your ad and will be in contact with you one of these days. It might not be much notice, but I will shoot you a text the day before/morning of if I think I can swing it. Hope to meet soon!” Then that alone will help avoid unnecessary false starts or “ignorant” surprises.

It’s ridiculous. Some days it’s nothing but people jumping at the idea of an appointment, but non actually going thru with anything. I’m especially tired of these last minute, can’t host MoFos who have to meet by 3 p.m. That’s why I know guys who are working regular gigs aren’t seeing many clients because, if you can’t see clients before 5 p.m. in many areas: you pretty much won’t even get anything at all. It seems like the evening business men at the hotel crowd is non existent in many markets. All it is, are just guys who have 1 hour to sneak away, and they never know or plan ahead: Fortunently, some people learn to get it. I had to lecture 1 client multiple times: I don’t care if you live 1 block from me: You can’t just hit me up out the blue, when you feel like coming over and then only give me 45 minutes beforehand. EVERY TIME. Send deposit, and arrange a day or 2 ahead. Last week I was in a different area and had no problem doing that. (Most) Escorts are not stores. We are individual people just like family and friends who have lives too. Some of these people either have no common sense, or do it out of spite. It’s one or the other. Would they be ready if I just called them up and asked to come over? I already know the answer: never. So don’t EVER expect me to lol.

You’re correct, and I’ll clarify: I generally do state that it means I’m available TODAY, not necessarily “now”. However, if someone sees “available now” it’s no reason to be redundant and ask if I’m available. That is ignorant. At least have common sense to form an actual conversation that doesn’t start with asking if I’m available. Like, “hey it’s so and so and we met last year, I see you’re available and I can be as well. Can we arrange to meet again?” All this sloppy lazy shit lately in certain cities, I’m so fed up with. I’m cancelling my line and switching to just a number with bare minimum texts or call features to it. No point in paying all this money a month just to have my time wasted on the weekly 😤

Lol, that gave me a laugh. I have to admit many of my pictures aren’t smiling. Why? Because photographers often make us NOT smile lol. It can tend to look cheesy and tacky. Don’t ask me why, but even if you look at certain model shoots, you will OFTEN (but not always) find someone Not smiling. Example: I don’t smile in all of my pics because it can be hard to strike that balance of “sexy smirk/smile” without looking like a weirdo lol.

And notice also: even though it’s $1,500 a night, if it’s split between 25 people: that’s only $60 a night. With 40 people, that’s only $37.50 a night. Much less than the $150, 200, $400 a night places many cities have gotten to. Just get everyone to put in their share before the time and everything turn out great.

I think I need to make the step too. Even previously met clients are turning out to be assholes and time wasters. Like just today: a client I met last year in June contacts me asking if I have availability today (sometimes I wonder if they do that to be ignorant because it said I’m “available now”). I was available, but I ask if he can host. He’s like, no I can’t host this time. I tell him what I need in order to confirm hosting sessions. Then he’s like, oh I can’t do it today. Can I do it Monday. I’m like, yea I can. No response I reply back again, it’ll just need to be confirmed the day before because it’s a holiday. Then he’s like, oh I can’t do that day I forgot it was a holiday. All the while not offering any alternative. It’s that type of stupidity I can’t be bothered with. I gave him a brief lecture and put a report under his number. Why the fuck someone ask me for a session today, if he can’t do it today? Then they aren’t flexible, ask on the day of out the blue after having not contacted me in over a year, and then can’t be bothered to follow the most basic instructions. If they can’t host, then they need to be willing to work around what that person requires to be allowed into their space. You don’t just assume you can barge into my space after not having spoken to me in a year. Fool. Some of these people are idiots.