Wow... I'm sorry to hear this. Has he expressed any intention to carry out a plan, or has he done anything that suggests he's saying goodbye (giving things away etc)? I know he said not to keep contacting him, and this puts you in a horribly stressful situation, but I'm hoping his wish of not waking up is him expressing his frustration with his situation and not actual suicidal ideation or tendencies. Whatever is going on, please be kind to yourself first and foremost, and realize that none of us can absolutely prevent someone from making tragic choices... but I sincerely hope he does not harm himself in any way. Maybe you are able to monitor things from afar, through mutual friends perhaps? Distance certainly makes things more complicated. Im sure he realizes you are there and willing to help, if and when he is ready to reach out. You've done everything correctly in my view, even if it seems there is more that could be done. You've let him know that you respect his wishes and that you love him, and perhaps that is just what he needs right now. I will be remembering you both in my thoughts and prayers. ?