CuriousByNature

I know this is off topic, but where in Croatia were you? It's on my bucket list...

So it is not HIV stigmatization, but rather, assuming a person is guilty of lying/misleading without sufficient evidence. The OP shared his experience, and given that information, people have commented. The OP never identified the provider on this board. If you doubt the truthfulness of his claims that is your prerogative, but that doesn't mean that those who disagree with you are stigmatizing anyone.

Yes, I was also thinking that same thing. Though the OP also asked what he should do and who he might contact, and that has obviously brought out some debate. In any case, I completely agree that the OP's current situation is paramount. And the OP is not trying to shirk his own responsibility in any way - he states that he considers himself at fault for not using PreP. While there is always personal responsibility, we know that it is a two-way street. The other thing that I am mindful of is that there are many people out there who are inexperienced, or may not have knowledge of PreP, etc. These individuals are particularly at risk from those who would mislead them about their status.

Exactly! But apparently we should all give him a 'pass' because he might feel stigmatized. Boo hoo. I doubt he's crying over those he has harmed, and is likely continuing to harm. You hit the nail on the head, @Monarchy79

With all due respect, you appear to be missing my point. The provider is actively deceiving others about something. That is wrong. Thirty years ago his actions would have resulted in people's deaths - thankfully that is likely not the case any longer, given the treatments available today. He should be held to the same standard of truthfulness people would expect of anyone else regardless of his orientation and HIV status. This is not about stigmatizing anyone for their health - it is about calling a lying spade a spade.

I'm not sure how this can be considered HIV stigmatization. The issue isn't that the provider is HIV positive. The issue is that the provider is a deceptive liar who is knowingly putting people at risk. It doesn't matter if it is HIV, tuberculosis, ebola or any other transmissible infection. Hell, in my book the provider is a modern-day Typhoid Mary.

Haha - I wondered if in Australia that means that nobody wears white during the summer. I could live anywhere because I rarely ever wear white anyway - I'm way too clumsy an eater to wear anything that could show stains so easily.

Routledge is awesome - one of the UK's national treasures IMO.

I would think that naming someone could be legally problematic for the OP, but I don't think it would be inappropriate to name the city. My heart goes out to @Jacque. Anyone who knowingly puts others at higher risk is selfish beyond words. Thankfully, as others have noted, treatment options today can give many infected people the same quality of life as those who are negative.

I understand that patients are monitored while on PreP to catch any signs of impact on the kidneys/liver.

Ultimately age is just a number, so if they call themselves 34 when they're actually 44, that might not be a big deal. But using photos from when they were 34, when they are actually 44 and look different from the photos, would be a bigger issue in my opinion.

Hope you are doing well. First, you are definitely not the only late bloomer here. You are way further ahead than I am, and I am in my late 40s. There aren't even any buds on this plant, never mind blooms! LOL. Try not to overthink too much about time. There is no way to regain the time that has passed, so it is important to accept it. And also honour all that you have gained during the past 40 years - such as family and friends who you may not have met had things proceeded differently. Hopefully you will have many, many decades ahead of you to live your truth, and I also hope that your spouse and any children you might have will come to accept you, and that the love you all share might somehow be strengthened in the long run.

Here is the new RM ad... assuming it isn't someone using his photos. https://rent.men/MRCUBAN/#platinum

I clicked on the link and it came up as inaccessible... which means that I have been blocked. When I logged out and clicked on his profile it came up as expected, and I have no recollection of reaching out in the past and no memory of ever even seeing that profile... lol. Go figure. 🤷‍♂️

Not this particular guy... someone else. My memory fails me though.

Did you find his photos to be out of date?

Hopefully he doesn't assume all his clients are telling the truth about their use of PreP.

I'm partial to Boulder's smaller sister-cities: Rock, Stone and Pebble.

Ahhh... maybe that is it.

I'm thankful my words were helpful... take care and keep us posted on your journey if you are comfortable doing so.

I read about that a while back. I thought the brothers pretended to be escorts in order to rob him, and that things went sideways from there. But I may be completely mistaken. I would never have guessed that was Jane Fonda. My first thought was Nancy Sinatra... lol.

Could be wrong, but aren't some of those pictures ones that were from ads that recently disappeared. I think the consensus was likely a fake profile...

I'm certainly not an expert in the ways of romance myself, by anyone's definition. Nor do I know what your current life situation may be and how this might affect others around you - so what I offer is just some general ideas for what they might be worth. I would strongly suggest taking a deep breath and do not let your anxiety get the better of you by trying to figure out what it all means right away. Take the time that you need to understand more clearly what it is that you are seeking, without necessarily putting a label (straight, gay, bisexual) on it, and proceed in a way and at a pace that is within your comfort zone. Be mindful of risks and safety, conduct yourself respectfully and honourably, and remember that while your own journey is unique, many others have likely been in similar situations and have come through with flying colours. Peace.

I had a feeling that might happen for you.

You may get some offers in your inbox from forum members wanting to help you out in your educational endeavours... 😉.