SirBillybob

Like many others expressing this for want of a better word affliction, you may think there are no occasions where you can or do refuse because enough was enough. There may be potential for you to enact the antithesis of succumbing to activity that you may wish you could regulate better, but your experience is inadvertently stacked to underline a sense of being out of control. In fact, the reality is that you may be pursuing sexualized activity when you want and declining it when it’s inconvenient. That may be a bit of a departure relative to other appetitive phenomena; each has its own distinctive course and features within each distinctive individual. There may be some similarities and differences between external entities that are put into your body and physically metabolized, on the one hand, and pleasure-seeking behaviours, on the other hand, that operate solely on an internal biopsychological feedback loop. Orgasmic refractory period may be similar but different from a substance fix. Craving may express in similar yet different ways. The place of abstinence is viewed similarly by some, yet objectionable to others because of critique of early reductionist models applying substance dependency concepts to desire and response cycle behaviour essentially undergirded by evolutionary imperative. One approach to entertain, given that any change introduced cannot but spur the potential for a different outcome than now exists, that outcome not necessarily guaranteeing a benefit apart from figuratively warming up a rigidified system and subtly or overtly altering a system and its dynamics, is to prescribe an invariant daily appointment time for sexualized behaviour. Don’t choose it according to your known routines. Pick it randomly like a lottery ball, 24 on the hour or from 48 on the hour/half-hour possibilities, for example, requiring you to sex for half an hour same time every day, nothing else, yet your prerogative to do whatever you want outside of that appointment with yourself. You must stick to the time daily for a month. Track and record your relation to the appointment with which you have a fiduciary responsibility to uphold in the interests of expanding your understanding of your capacity for elective control, happiness, resentment, what have you, about engaging in behaviour that you feel is inevitable most of the time anyway. The point is not to push the agenda of altering sexual behaviour that might actually occur or not outside of the appointments, according to the long-standing patterns you seem to describe. If you refuse the exercise it’s likely because you don’t want the anticipated aggravation of engaging in behaviour that you may not want at a particular arbitrary time, the desire for which you otherwise describe as regularly overpowering. If you refuse to sexualize within any one of 30 appointment commitments then you have related to your apparently unyielding desire in a different fashion. Sexualize or not, there will some be degree of change, for better or worse (though it’s not as if it’s fentanyl or a box of KrispyKremes q24h) from what appears to be the current habituation. “Yeah but yeah but yeah buts …” are included in what might manifest. The outcome of the exercise may have some salutary benefit in terms of the nature of the pattern and your perception of it. My own compulsions have been fairly tame and usually fizzle out quickly. Many of us have experienced intense mental intrusion associated with unrequited love, seemingly excessive and profound erotic limerence. I have found it hard to follow the above prescription but I think it helped at times. Paradoxically, it can be a challenge to do something when required and generated from planful intent yet already doing it seemingly non-volitionally, as if there were no choice.

Sniffies TOS forbid prostitution Therefore, again, it’s difficult to weigh in with suggestions without knowing fundamentally if the OP risks impugning himself by contemporaneously admitting breaking a hookup platform rule (eg, if he asked to pay for sex or agreed to pay for sex) undergirded by prostitution law AND reporting the person with whom he attempted an ‘appointment’, presumably also breaking the TOS viz sex trade prohibition, evidently attempting extortion, and possibly running afoul of criminal law depending on the jurisdiction’s application of prostitution law to providers and consumers. Maybe the OP should consult a lawyer, depending on how the relevant factors are stratified.

An essential piece of info is missing. It’s Sniffies; I thought that platform straddled both trade and non-transactional hookups. Extortion is pretty cut and dry in general, but is there communication between the parties on record about purchasing sex and what is that particular legal liability for each party in the relevant federal and/or state jurisdiction? Additionally, is communicating about paying illegal, apart from the actual enactment of purchase? In many jurisdictions only the consumer is running afoul of the law and the pre-encounter solicitation is unilaterally indictable. Therefore, in some jurisdictions one might essentially impugn oneself by going to the police; it depends on interpretation of the actual narrative between the parties. It is nuanced. One might be declaring one’s committal of a crime while seeking recourse about being blackmailed for that crime or, rather, blackmailed about the accompanying vulnerability concerning what could be shared with loved ones, or both. It’s a bit odd and unique in Canada and many other places, few degrees of separation between declared intention and enactment wrt prostitution, like ‘crime foreplay’. Going to the police is less risky if the exchange about hooking up (if financially transactional) had been ambiguous, cryptic, etc. I have myself backpedaled if an exchange with a provider about compensation had become needlessly explicit, beyond the level of codification in which much such communication is typically understood and mutually satisfactory between client and provider. —-/ Other than that, I’d consider calling his bluff, send him some sobering info on legal consequences of extortion, and underscore that his breaching of your private exchanges with him should he carry out the threats simply adds to the evidence of his crime and exposes him to more possibilities of determining his identifying information the more he reaches out to third parties in your personal familial/social radius, if in fact he’s currently anonymous.

The current Spanish government majority is planning, as per the abolitionist model, to make amendments to the criminal code to clamp down on prostitution. What impact, if passed, this will have on MSM commercial sex trade is unclear. I am not familiar with the judicial structure and what stage this proposal is at, voting, etc. Perhaps Thermas in Barcelona would simply need to refrain from making direct references to its playbook setup. For-profit Escort ad sites centralized in Spain could be affected. The abolitionist approach and criminalization in USA and Canada seemed to lead to some adjustments but didn’t shut down trade. As many will know, the Nordic abolitionist model holds accountable facilitators/brokers of prostitution and purchasers of sex (for money, or in some cases “in kind” resources) but not providers.

Looks like we might see a little bit of skin on this one. Fortunately, it’s playing a few blocks from my home.

Hahahah, I just missed by a year. At age 52, in fact the month following turning 52, I took on a weekly pricy escort for close to 4 years. Had never previously squandered that much. The pattern before and after a minuscule fraction of that undertaking. He was just … “that guy”. I’m not being completely truthful. The same commitment would likely have transpired meeting him at age 53. So, outlier. An equivalent sum financially invested would have bloated considerably.

I’m in Brazil where I spend much of every winter, stay in a inexpensive mixed-class neighbourhood for much of the time, interspersed with comparatively luxe excursions, and have noticed an explosive increase in food costs that obviously impacts on the locals. The price-by-weight “quilo” buffet venues are pricier in my non-tourist Carioca neighbourhood relative to a northern chain inclusive of Toronto/Montreal locations. I was on a bus chatting with a woman and commented that the fresh yeasty donut I treat myself to weekly from a very modest padaria nearby has increased from 1.00 real pre-pandemic to … she finished the sentence for me (!) 3.50 reais. Male commercial sex trade costs remain stable but the trend seems to be that more attractive gym-training fellows are opting out and the consumer choice is dwindling. It simply isn’t worth it to providers for 30-40USD a trick unless very sought after at assembly-line level. Those rates are basically locked in, as the majority of clients are Brazilian and similarly enduring goods inflation. A two-tier system of basic vs higher-end escorts would be fine with me but likely wouldn’t fly. I am grateful I got into the scene, for a few years anyway, at its height. I realize I may have taken this a tad off topic but perhaps it still tracks within the economic utilities theme.

I just squeaked in about 11:30 EDT but it froze up again.

I hadn’t really thought much about this. Age early 70s; fully retired 9 years; single with no dependents; no mortgage or other major expenses. Putting aside transient pandemic abstinence as a diluting factor, I estimate I’ve spent no more than 5% of my steady aggregate pension income on hiring and not touched my investment capital. However, I only hire when travelling to Europe or South America. Definitely not breaking the bank. I don’t drink or smoke, though some peers spend more on such compared to my escort expenditures. Travelling costs put the major dent in my disposable income, but that is deliberative. As I get older I don’t feel that lengthy months-long gaps between trips are particularly depriving and I have somehow internalized decades of hiring as having qualitatively added psychosexual value to existence. Having now appraised this topic, I think I may be under-consuming and need to upregulate. This afternoon’s task: heading out in the sweltering Rio heat to a Santander ATM to cover dairy costs.

Yes, it’s down. About a week or so ago it crashed for a few days and then back up with an admin communication delineating that the content capacity had been exceeded (I am not a ‘techie’) and there would need to be some kind of space revamping. I suppose this is what is meant by “breaking the internet”. Perhaps today’s access problem is related to the recent one or additional renovation is being executed. Since contextual backdrop explanation had recently emerged, I would think it’s unrelated to what might be going in with gaybutton, a site unfamiliar to me, or perhaps Velcro is back in gay style.

Isn’t that what you just did, for free? LOL. With 1,300-1,400 views thus far on one topic, not nearly completed, he hardly needs the help. And that’s not counting the hordes of unregistered lurkers … um, readers … using public domain option. And now I did it too.

As I indicated, there are elaborate descriptions on the other site many of us read, as the South America scene is more emphasized. I will outline a few key points of distinct difference. Otherwise, the social media links provide clues as to its contrast. As much a regular hookup bathhouse as an escort venue, though as saunas go it’s quite small. Not known for hotter young crowd. Most customers are not there to pay. The regular cabins are dark cubicles with nothing to lie down on. In short, sucks. The escorts work only in 3 small separate massage table compartments. No option for a more conventional mattress/bed so sexual choreography is awkward. You pay the venue COP60K for basic massage and he gets a cut. You pay the masseur directly for extras. Most of them double as dancers (& private dance if desired) in the linked club that opens 3-4 nights: Gigolo Erotic House. Most seem to be “tops”. Three of seven days are designated as full nudity. You may need to pay a few more bucks for the option to wear a towel or briefs, etc. The “upsell over-charge hustle” directed at ‘gringos’ is more pronounced, whereas Thermas rates are comparatively invariant. A non-manipulative guy typically accepts COP60-100K tip; others may request up to 300K. As per usual, caveat emptor as far as negotiations and avoiding surprises. I’ve been to Thermas dozens of times and often left without tricking with trade, hence, blue balls. Saint Moritz about ten times and, so far, pleased each time. All so far agreeable to giving phone number, though I haven’t met any off site. There are very decent inexpensive short-time ‘love/sex’ hotels nearby, catering to heteros but MSM-friendly, if that is a desired option. I took a bar server to one for paid interaction; the room&ensuite was very nice and he could not leave the premises unless I accompanied him down at reception where staff unlocked the door electronically for exiting.

Like I said above, this, only fairly reliable venue in all of Colombia. Saint Moritz Sauna in Chapinero gay district in Bogotá. More info on the “other site”, not so much on this board even under Latin Amer travel. I note that this topic is under Europe, so I made sure to embed key search terms in this text. Not the same structure/arrangements or number of escorts as Thermas, but I usually find what I want even though I tend to be picky about build and looks. It’s good enough that I will visit Bogotá twice this winter, but also extended time in Brazil and its saunas, so if St Moritz does not live up to its previous promise … https://instagram.com/saintmoritz.bog?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= https://twitter.com/saintmoritz_bog?s=21&t=MZSqEPZdNWO24a-W6gmDDg

Truer words … will what goes around come around? FullSizeRender.MOV

…. Summer and beyond … I have been to many cinema live stream or ‘encore’ ballets but had always passed on The Met. The dance offerings have dried up. I have also rarely been to live opera and know very little about it. That will change, in terms of streaming, as I went to The Hours yesterday. It was very moving and I was stunned by the sounds coming out of the mouths of Fleming, DiDonato, and O’Hara. An encore is scheduled for January. Must be a recording. Christine Baranski hosts. O’Hara plays her niece by marriage in Gilded Age S2. The libretto was a few times a little difficult to follow … I tend to watch all films in streaming mode, as well as TV, with subtitles now anyway as I often find the diction unclear. The Hours was subtitled in another language where I am due to my location, so a bit of distraction with the back and forth in my mind, but I had of course read Cunningham’s novel years ago and seen the movie. I could not find the libretto on line but I suggest reading or reviewing the book if you want to better catch all the language, as also much of the dialogue is interior, unsurprisingly, compared to the movie. Unless it is subtitled in English where most of you are; probably is.

I had already referenced it earlier in the thread. I don’t recall if the older Henry was schooled by his father in PrEP use should he go further with himself. Though Cam uses condoms for the sake of a key plot line. Best if TJ self-sucks or a male blows him. Lady Mary blew him in Downtown Abbey and it killed him.

Hot dude with loud swimming trucks and swimming supportively grabs Daphne when she is hysterically running onto shore. But a flash of his head and back only, so not sure if it’s Cam. Would a random dude grab her as she screams? Another plot tease. We know from finale trailer that Cam and Ethan come to fisticuffs and angrily pushing heads under the water.

Yeah I know it’s an option for Air Canada my usual carrier but I find some other carriers required counter check-in particularly in pandemic times. I typically use online if permitted. And I was in Premium Econ but no queue privileges. I cannot remember all the factors posing impediments. Shifting sands for testing and for vaxx proof. But hundreds of others flying Swiss had not taken the web check-in option either, judging by the vast queues of youngish digital age skilled passengers, many anxious about the long delays and pushed to the front by staff for desk check-in depending on risks of missing boarding. I cannot recall if I had a bag to check but there was no baggage drop-off station and no user kiosk screens for printing tickets or baggage stickers, such as exist in Montreal. I was asked by the counter CSR in Zürich to produce proof of COVID related documents other than the ArriveCAN receipt but I had to school him because the Canada requirements had lessened and he had not ‘received the memo’ so to speak. Generally a shit show when travel resumed last Spring. That was then and my advice was given in that experiential context. YMMV.

SPOILER ALERT beyond the gap I deliberately entered. Welly welly well well well … looks like Quentin’s unrequited American cowboy crush would be one Rick, Tanya’s conveniently absented recent hubby. Was this a set up that historically began in S1? But series just renewed for S3 and White will likely want JC back and Tanya not killed off this Sunday. Judging from the first episode it appears that the dead body in the water would have been sourced in the hotel vicinity. Face down, legs seem slim. And the exchange between manager Valentina and another local at that time indicates that there had been bodies of other hotel guests also discovered.

Since it’s your first time, be aware that you would not likely be able to easily get to (and out of) Copacabana for the NYE ‘Reveillon’ fireworks at midnight, and rubbing shoulders with some 2-3 million others, whether moving by taxi, ride platforms, or Metro for that matter as the latter can only transport a small fraction on the subway by reserved fare advance ticket times. If it’s on your bucket list (overrated and oppressively crowded from my point of view) be aware that you would likely need to be staying in Copacabana, though it’s possible to walk from Ipanema especially it’s eastern section. If you are not staying in either area, you could conceivably get to Copacabana earlier on 31 December and stay through the night primarily outdoors until able to get back out later on 1 January. That would be far more ambitious than I would find it worth. Unfortunately, the vantage point of the fireworks launch barges is not amenable to being viewed from other city districts particularly those close to the water. But you can find many videos of past displays on YouTube if you want to get an idea of the appeal. Similarly, if you get a coveted Copacabana Beach rooftop party ticket, note that getting in and out of the zone other than by foot would be daunting.

All the time. What an eyeful my executors will get rifling thru documents signed eg HotTop21cm, etc. Is not at least one party if not both parties going to reveal legal name(s) for a signed agreement. I cannot think of many encounters where both my true name and the providers true name are explicit. I am very far from famous but I have had a modest regional public profile and have presented on “educational TV” (not PBS). Clearly unknown by South American and European providers, though. Escort usually has a ‘nom de plonger’ and I am ‘Grampy’, formerly ‘Daddy’. Do I want a paper trail, irrespective of its actual legal thrust? Seems to me that requires a trade-off of least partial anonymity for formality; six of one, half a dozen of another.

In contrast to Spain, Monkeypox virus remains more active among urban Colombian MSM, and MVA-BN vaccination has not been widespread. However, incidence has been consistently on the downturn and the % probability of minimally one active case among N number of sexually active susceptibles is approximately [1 - (.9994 to the exponential power of N)] x 100 … for example about 1.5% for any aggregate of 25 behaviourally at-risk gay (including presumably gay-for-pay) men. You’d likely have to have a great deal of unprotected sex to be unwittingly exposed.

I recently went to Medellín for close to two weeks and will be returning to Colombia for most of the winter, but not Medellín, though I enjoyed Medellín for its non-sexual (non “sex tourist” features); once being enough in terms of my general travel bucket list. An excursion to Guatapé area is a must, but will be mobbed at that time and DIY basis may present obstacles as far as getting there by regional bus due to its popularity among city dwellers during the season. I actually don’t mind being solo for extended periods as there is usually so much to do in a new place and I combine self-catering with dining out. No bar scene for me; in my 70s and early to bed-and-rise. I have been to Barcelona many times. The difference, from my point of view, is the degree to which you prefer the convenience and structure of a more curated and trade-specific setting, such as Sauna Thermas in ‘Geixample’ BCN, or the greater effort and challenge of hooking up through other means, as would be the reality in Medellín. … depending on your specifications. Additionally, the physical appearance selection aspects, but since you have not specified any preference, I see no point at this time providing my comparative take. What I can say is that written or image depictions provided on our various punter sites would not impel me to choose Medellín over Barcelona for trade, though equivalency based on subjective preference (if one can unearth it) would typically be less expensive in Colombia. Similarly, the few hotel brothel outfits will oblige with a photo inventory via WhatsApp but nothing of appeal to me or what I would shell out for. I had to drill down and try not to waste valuable sightseeing time to yield a bit of success. However, I had made sure to immediately follow up my recent trip with travel to a destination where accessing the type of trade I prefer was a sure thing. Really hot Colombians often discover they can earn so much more bank abroad. And nationally, Bogotá affords the curated setting of Sauna St-Moritz & Gigolo Erotic House nightclub/ stripper venue with private dance etc, in the same Chapinero-district building. Otherwise, my preferred accommodations mode, Airbnb, is extremely more expensive in Barcelona compared to Colombian cities based on the same overall quality. For example, Barcelona was 3-4 times the rate per night, meagre selection, in May relative to Medellín this Fall. In short, Medellín is a good bet for general travel; and sexually if your hunting is solid, organized and flexible and you are far more ambitious and less lazy than me. Time Out lists it as 3rd globally for tourism destinations. The holiday season would likely be as good a time as any, save the aforementioned challenges getting to further afield where the locals like to relax. —— Finally, be aware that one must complete the online CheckMig for both entering and leaving Colombia; some have found it to be a breeze, while others have found it glitchy and stressful.

Oops, apparently not able to DM yet …

To be fair, he is well up to speed and most of the content is on point. However, in terms of reliably catching a clinical tidbit of genuine value packaged simply, humbly, and usefully, there are usually enough fish in the sea to support throwing some back. A judicious level of ornamentation and analogy is fine, but there is sometimes a sense of roadkill, running over a good point to persuasively deliver it, particularly if not well embraced. We know by now that a topic titled “Is anybody doing or not doing such and such?” portends a declaration of others’ stupidity and inferiority. ____ Pomposity, moi? Now that’s calling the pot avocado. —— Breaking for months of travel. See you on the other side, come Ides of Feb.