Juan Vancouver

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

This original post is called "Would you rather overweight clients warn you about their size and expectations before meeting?" It's not called "Are you disgusted with fat people and should people warn you because you think they are gross". In this specific case, for my client, his weight was the reason for which his expectation could not be fulfilled.
 
He was unaware of that. No, he didn't realize his expectation was unrealistic without me telling him. As a matter of fact he had tried many escorts and was disgusted with the whole thing because nobody could give him what he had seen on a porn flick.
 
If you read my post carefully I was having the time of my life. He was a handsome, fun man. This had absolutely nothing to do with me having to be warned about his weight because it's gross, but I would have love to know he wanted to be carried by my cock all over the room. I would have not taken his money had I known in advance.
 

 
I don't need you to lure me with your bravado. The whole point of being with an escort who understands his therapeutic presence in your life is that you can entirely leave the posturing out of the equation. I don't need you to come with airs, I don't need you to exude self confidence and matador style elegance. Just be on time, be clean, be respectful, honour our agreements and be yourself. Believe me, if you do this, you will leave knowing what true self confidence feels like because you will give someone the chance to see you naked, vulnerable and still be appreciated and seen.
 
It's impossible to see, like or appreciate someone trying to put on airs of something he doesn't feel.
 
No need to pep yourself up before a session. No need to steel yourself up. No need to having to charm, lure, or make the escort fall in love... that's our job. Just be yourself. That's all we ask for.
 

 
Props to you. I beg you to put yourself in the shoes of all the inexperienced clients who may suffer from crippling self doubt and would be destroyed if not even a hooker will touch them. Having an escort not answering an email is one thing, having an escort closing the door on you or worse, taking your money and treat you like shit would leave a terrible mark.
 
Good on you for having confidence. Not good on you for pushing your own opinion without thinking how this might impact other people.
 

 
Yeah, and I want escorts to be kind and loving and sweet and respectful and I want them to be mindful of their clients' privacy... I want so many things!
 
Most escorts don't.
 
My advise to inexperienced clients when dealing with escorts is not relevant to when they are dealing with the ten best escorts of the world. No advise needed then. My advise is for when they are dealing with all the rest.
 
Do I need my clients to hide their money when I visit? No. Would I advise them to hide it when an escort is visiting? YES! EVERY TIME!
 
Would I want escorts not to steal? Who gives a shit what I want. Some do, some don't. The advise I give is in case you are meeting with the ones that do.

Actually, from an outsider point of view, with the detachment distance lends, it is very clear that if you have a healthy moral compass and are interested in reality, as opposed to propaganda, you actually have to agree with Bernie.

If you don't secure bookings in advance, a client might say, "Another escort reached out and confirmed with me already and I have already used up my escorting budget. Thus, I can't see you this trip." That scenario has happened to me more than once on both sides of the equation.
 
For Seattle, I always reach out in advance to try to decide how best to split my time between Seattle, Bellevue, Federal Way, Tacoma, and Seatac. When my hotel location is not going to vary based on client availability (e.g. Manhattan) I don't need to be as strategic about setting things up in advance. Advanced booking also helps an escort decide how to best balance his ratio of weekdays to weekends in a city.
 
The problem with securing advance appointments is a very high percentage of people tend to cancel at the last minute, or whenever you contact them to confirm they say, "I meant to contact you to cancel." Or something to that effect. If you can make fill your dance card booking same-day appointments only, there's little incentive to reach out in advance. You have to remember that DR is not representative of the escort world as a whole, that most clients are looking for same-day appointments, and that a hot body--rather than a proactive booking approach-- is all you need to seal the deal.

I know this is an older post, but I would like to add my thoughts.
 
For medical reasons, by my early 20's I was over 300 pounds. The gay world is very superficial, and I couldn't get a date. By 23, I was still a virgin, and that's when I started hiring escorts. I probably try about 6 new escorts a year, one every other month or so, and have done so for the last 15 years, and I have had many regulars, although I travel so much for work it makes it difficult for anything regular.
 
I learned early on to always tell them my weight and make sure that they were okay with it. When hiring an escort, I do it not only for the sex, but to feel sexy myself. Any escort can get a guy off, that's just the basics. An exceptional escort will make you feel like the sexiest man alive while you are with him. He will make you feel like you are the only person in the world that matters to him. It's a feeling that I don't get from anyone in the real world, and one why I enjoy the company of a great escort so much.
 
I have found that if I don't prepare them for what to expect, then I often find disappointment in the meeting. I had escorts turn me away at the door, which is exactly the opposite of the confidence boost I wanted. I've had escorts take me in, but not want to touch me, basically they touched as little as possible, had me jerk myself off, took my money, and shoved me out the door. I've had escorts who couldn't get hard, which makes it difficult for them to fuck me. This was all when I was in my early 20's, and a lot of my paycheck went to hiring them. Then I got lucky and hired Cameron Taylor. I warned him that I was 350 lbs, and he told me that was fine, but for the first time he made me feel like the sexiest man alive.
 
There's nothing better than seeing a smile at the door rather than disappointment. There's nothing better than an escort who can't keep their hands off you. There's nothing better than an escort who is hard the instant he sees you. And sure, this may take a little prep on their part. I find the more information I give them, the better prepared they are for the appointment, and the better time I have.
I have escorts flat out tell me that they aren't interested when I've told them my weight, and I do appreciate that. It means that they aren't wasting my time or money for a less than perfect experience.
I've had escorts who simply didn't return my text or email after I told them I was heavy. Sure I was disappointed, but not as disappointed as I would have been paying their rate and having a bad experience.
 
My vote is always tell them, If they are good at what they will do, it will only help them prepare a more pleasurable experience. If they turn you away, you are better off anyways.

It's a very rare form of Zen Cinquain Koan Haiku. A five lined, haiku that is intended to challenge your grasp of reality.
It is said that Zen warrior/monks would repeat poems like this in their quest to enlightenment.

Have we really sunk/risen to haiku? My grasp of reality is tenuous enough.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

I wouldn't say "warn", just inform. I like to know basic stats of whomever I'm talking to, so I can imagine how we'd be like together. I'm honestly trying to think of the potential client I might reject and most of what comes up has to do with cleanliness (which anyone can manage with a shower beforehand) and excessive drug and alcohol use (my own fear of him being under the influence and unpredictable during our appointment).
 
I'm super new to escorting, but my first client was a big guy. He had his stats in his profile, and he also sent me a picture of him. I appreciated the info and picture because I knew what to expect when we met, and we had a great time.
 
I'm an information sponge in my regular life as well, so I always prefer more info to less. I do understand that some guys might use that info to discriminate—yet as NYClocker and others have said, I think it's better to be rejected via text/call/email by someone who really won't treat you well than end up with a unsatisfying experience or rejection in person.

My man, respectfully, your reading comprehension skills are incredibly lacking. This is not an issue of the escorts' preferences, but of the emotional wellbeing of clients who might already have a tenuous self confidence.
 
Yes, by all means, if you are going to the mall, or a party or the office, hold your head as high as you can, celebrate who you are and give no explanations about your physical state.
 
If you are going to meet an escort, however, if you are going to put yourself in someone else's hands and be vulnerable, if you are planning to be in the incredibly dangerous position in which a prejudiced, dumb or inexperienced guy might actually bruise you instead of handle you with love and tenderness, then it is incredibly important that you weed out the bad ones before meeting as often as you can.

Going to meet an escort "hoping that you picked a winner that treats you like a king" is an abusive suggestion because you know there are not many out there. Leaving it to luck is a very self hating way to go about it. There is a much better way to know in advance if you picked a winner: let him know everything there is to know.

 
And the other part of the question... expectations. If you are one of those people who think escorts are sexbots who can and will do any sex trick for you every time, then I know you are also one of those men who are always disappointed. If someone tells me that I must cum once in his mouth, another time in his ass and another time on his chest, I will have to turn down the appointment. If someone tells me that he must absolutely enjoy anal sex, which has to this point been elusive, I will clearly manage his expectations and tell him that I cannot promise that. If a 400 pound person expects me to fuck carry him around the room like he saw in the movies, I will have to explain why this is not possible.
 
It's not a matter of preferences or performance, as you call it. It's simple physics.
 
Having good, loving intentions is completely different to selling "One syrup heals all" snake oil.

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

Nice approach, makes sense to me.

It's often impossible to totally control our feelings. Even Mr. Spock couldn't do it. And the rest of us are only human. With that in mind, I could certainly see a client falling into what he thinks is love to a nice handsome guy. After all the escort will normally be the type of guy the client is attracted to-otherwise why hire him? And this guy to whom the client is attracted to is making the client feel good physically-and possibly mentally. Who wouldn't fall in love with such a guy? But the escort is providing a paid service. I'm not saying the escort can't like the client or feel warmly towards him, but for way over the vast majority of clients it ain't going to happen. The escort is not going to fall in love with the client. If a client actually expressed his love and the belief that the escort would love him back, things are way out of control. Even if the client doesn't tell the escort, but the escort can tell by what the client does, things are still out of control. While there isn't an AMA or a Bar Association for escorts, in most cases it's immoral for an escort to continue seeing a client who is in love with him. It would be like a psychiatrist or lawyer taking advantage of a patient/client.
 
Gman

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

not to mention the danger from dihydrogen monoxide...

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

Yes it has happened. From the small, dainty hints of poo to the full catastrophic Richter scale 10 events.
 
We are sticking our dicks in an ass, so we know the risks. If it happens, one tries as hard as one can to be light about it, and relaxed.
 
You contain the issue as best as possible. You clean yourself up, ask the bottom to clean himself. If it was only a tiny hint sometimes it is possible to continue playing after a little shower. If it is a full contingency, I recommend the bottom evacuates, showers thoroughly and then we continue doing other things.
 
If there is actual damage in the room I think it is wise to call it a day. There is no way to continue feeling sexy if walls, beds and furniture are smeared. (NO, this is not an exaggeration. People, learn to douche. It's a life saver!)
 

 
I would one hundred percent recommend against this. Never re-douche during a session. The ass has little corners where water hides and if you don't let water be absorbed for at least half an hour, the water WILL come out, now in a different color and texture if you stick anything in there.
 
The grossest accidents have ever happened when someone douches and jumps into playing. I can't warn you passionately enough.
 
Don't.

I would learn a lot about myself if you show me where I wrote that I need any of those people to "warn" me in order to see them or not, to kiss them or not.
 
That is pure fabrication.
 
To me it sounds as if you are reacting to some other instance we don't know anything about, protecting it to my half digested post. No need to be sickened. You just need to read what I wrote.
 
Yes, give all information specially when it can possibly affect your expectations. (Like the case I mentioned).
 
Tell me about you and tell me about what you are hoping to experience.
 
Lastly, and this concerning clients, not me, personally, tell your escort -every single time- in case he is a dud and you can avoid him. If you are wanting to avoid a bad experience, disclose. It is in your own interest.
 
If this makes you feel sickened, then you are right, the conversation is over.
 
Wishing you many fulfilling, exciting encounters.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.