FTM Zachary Prince

Totally disagree. If he never agreed to book an appointment with you then in no way imaginable is this a no show. Without a specific date and time that has been agreed to by both parties, there is no appointment booked.
 
“Call me the weekend of the event” = “I’m not in a position to commit now, but feel free to try me later”
 
I don’t think OP is being overly-sensitive to be disappointed. But anyone who would be “angry” to have not gotten an appointment despite having “followed the rules” has an entitlement issue. No escort is required to meet you. No matter how many rules you followed. Getting angry because someone was too busy to book an appointment with you is pointless.
 
I do agree that it’s not very professional to tell someone to contact you and then not be available to respond, but most escorts are one-man shows, and don’t have personal assistants to manage their contacts. If OP needed a guaranteed booking in advance, then being “put off” by the escort in question should have been a sign to move on.
 
When your disappointment and your anger are mixed then you have an entitlement issue. Point blank. OP used the works “put off”, which means he knew there was no appointment promised in the first place.

Wouldn't you want to discuss this with the escort so you both have the same expectations for the appointment?

What is REALLY tacky, tho, is when a client who has NEVER met you or spoken to you before emails you to tell you that he’s not attracted to you, but can you provide any referrals to another escort in your area?
 
You’d actually be shocked, guys sometimes email me to say that they’re not into my armpit hair and could I please recommend another escort who looks like me who shaves their armpits? Or they’re not into trans guys... can I recommend a cis lady or a cis guy in Mumbai? OMFG. Talk about tacky! These are guys who I’ve never even met or conversed with before!

Maybe start a new thread about this. There are numberous expenses involved in escorting and I’m not in the mood to draw up a comprehensive list on my own. I kind of feel like you’re being intellectually lazy, too. There are some blatantly obvious operational expenses that every small business owner has to deal with. Perhaps google could help you learn about those. If you think every escort is a college boy stuffing cash under his mattress and that our clients magically find us for free with no financial investments on our part, then you’re really in some kind of unrealistic fantasy-land... that’s simply not how it works.

LOL @ anyone who thinks escorts base our pricing for companionship on mainstream society’s ideas about who is attractive and who is an “ogre”. You have some seriously wrong ideas about what it takes to succeed as an escort. People who are that shallow don’t last long in this industry. We charge for our time and companionship. Plain and simple. Whether you’re an ogre, an elf, a faerie, a hobbit, a troll, a bear or a fox. Just be over the age of 18... and leave your ego about your “non-ogre” status at the door.
 
If you really think that the majority of our clients are seriously ugly and that you’re some kind of special snowflake for being normal-looking, you have some internalized issues to work through... We charge for our time because it’s valuable and we are providing a service. And because living under capitalism requires money, and sexual entertainers/healers deserve to earn well and live comfortably if we are talented at our jobs. Not because our clients are ugly. The value of our companionship service don’t decrease just because you consider yourself to be better looking than average.

You mentioned that the escort gave you a very good rate because you already have an established relationship online. That’s a very sweet gesture on his part. Sometimes escorts do this, because they want you to agree to the extended booking and want to make you feel special... and then regret it later. It’s not because we change our minds about you being very special after all. It’s just that getting paid less than our standard rates can bother us EVEN IF IT WAS OUR IDEA! Sometimes we are under economic pressure to get you to agree to the trip or simply feeling generous in the moment when we give the quote. Then oops, later we wish we hadn’t offered such a generous discount. I’m not saying everyone does this, but it’s a relatively COMMON story that I hear. This can make us reluctant to give our very best service or agree to repeat trips, just because of our subconscious irritation with ourselves for underquoting the value of our labor. Whether an escort has made a mistake in underquoting or completely knew what he was doing and quoted you an amount that he feels GREAT about is impossible to know, and probably depends on how experienced he is as an escort, among other factors.
 
What in the world does all this have to do with tipping? Well, if he shows you the time of your life, you might consider tipping an amount that brings his total compensation (not including the flight) closer to whatever his actual/published rate would be for that amount of time normally. Match his generous gesture of a discounted session with a generous gesture of paying the full amount anyway. As a tip. If your experience is great. It can go a long way in establishing a positive and generous dynamic between you two in the ongoing future.
 
Tipping is not “expected” when it comes to hiring escorts in the USA. But it can definitely mean a lot to us and is highly appreciated. We often go “above and beyond” for clients in terms of what we bring to the table, and it’s always heart-warming to have the extra effort acknowledged with a tip. That said, if someone barely fulfills their end of the bargain, of course you might not feel inclined to give one, and that is also perfectly fine.
 
I also want to note that as small business owners, most escorts keep nowhere near 100% of the fee we charge. We typically have operational expenses that eat up a decent chunk of that sticker price. But I agree that tipping your waiter/waitress is totally different because they do not set the price of their own labor and are paid an extremely low hourly wage that ASSUMES there will be tips involved, and that’s definitely not the case with most independent escorts either.

I’m shy about nudity because I pass as cis when I’m clothed, I don’t when I’m naked, and people tend to treat me more poorly once they realize that I’m trans. Objectification, inappropriate questions, inappropriate anecdotes, ungendering, and more. If I keep my clothes on then I’m just a cute guy and things feel pretty normal. I guess in some ways I am LUCKY for whatever this general shyness seems to be, because it means that a lot of men don’t find it horribly strange that I just want to suck dick without taking my clothes off.
 
Of course that’s all in my personal life. When I’m getting paid it’s another story. My clients are well aware that I’m trans in advance and I’m more than happy to get naked when I’m getting paid, since it has no negative repercussions on our interpersonal dynamics.

This may come as a surprise to you, but my happiness is not even slightly dependant on whether you think I’m ugly or not...

Oh ok you’re out here calling people with my lived experience ugly and then denying it the very next post and I’M the one being rude and insulting... got it

addiction – a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction
 
“Animal research involving rats that exhibit compulsive sexual behavior has identified that this behavior is mediated through the same molecular mechanisms in the brain that mediate drug addiction.[44][45][44][46] Sexual activity is an intrinsic reward that has been shown to act as a positive reinforcer, strongly activate the reward system, and induce the accumulation of ΔFosBin part of the striatum (specifically, the nucleus accumbens).[44][45][46] Chronic and excessive activation of certain pathways within the reward system and the accumulation of ΔFosB in a specific group of neurons within the nucleus accumbens has been directly implicated in the development of the compulsive behavior that characterizes addiction.[45][47][48][49]”

Less than 1/3 for escorts. Sex addiction is not conducive to being successful as an escort. There’s nothing about escorting that satisfies the compulsiveness on our part. Quite the opposite, in fact. People might GET INTO sex work because they have some kind of addiction toward sex, and they think that this would’ve a good way to monetise the fact that they’re having lots of sex anyway. But being a successful escort in the long run requires setting healthy boundaries and treating this work as a real job. Endeavours that addictive tendencies are really not conducive to at all. That’s not to say that absolutely no one can manage to combine the two. But very few can.
 
On the client’s side, I couldn’t really speculate a percentage, but the client side of things IS much more conducive to satisfying compulsive urges. I know for sure that at least some significant percentage of clients have addictive tendencies. They go thru cycles where they realize that the way they’re engaging with the industry is damaging their life, swear to quit, manage for some time, compulsively return to hiring, often even detailing their addictive tendencies to their providers. In the phone sex world this is particularly common, probably due to the very accessible, instant-gratification nature of phone calls. Hard to say that I could agree with 1/3 tho. It also really depends on who you are and how you market yourself what percentage of the clients you attract will have addictive tendencies. I’ve literally put the word “addicted” in phone sex listings before and that of course attracts a higher percentage of them. But it’s well known in that world amongst PSOs in general that a high percentage of the clients cycle in and out due to issues with compulsion, addiction, or whatever else you want to call it.

Less than 1/3 for escorts. Sex addiction is not conducive to being successful as an escort. There’s nothing about escorting that satisfies the compulsiveness on our part. Quite the opposite, in fact. People might GET INTO sex work because they have some kind of addiction toward sex, and they think that this would’ve a good way to monetise the fact that they’re having lots of sex anyway. But being a successful escort in the long run requires setting healthy boundaries and treating this work as a real job. Endeavours that addictive tendencies are really not conducive to at all. That’s not to say that absolutely no one can manage to combine the two. But very few can.
 
On the client’s side, I couldn’t really speculate a percentage, but the client side of things IS much more conducive to satisfying compulsive urges. I know for sure that at least some significant percentage of clients have addictive tendencies. They go thru cycles where they realize that the way they’re engaging with the industry is damaging their life, swear to quit, manage for some time, compulsively return to hiring, often even detailing their addictive tendencies to their providers. In the phone sex world this is particularly common, probably due to the very accessible, instant-gratification nature of phone calls. Hard to say that I could agree with 1/3 tho. It also really depends on who you are and how you market yourself what percentage of the clients you attract will have addictive tendencies. I’ve literally put the word “addicted” in phone sex listings before and that of course attracts a higher percentage of them. But it’s well known in that world amongst PSOs in general that a high percentage of the clients cycle in and out due to issues with compulsion, addiction, or whatever else you want to call it.

I’m a doctor who bills insurance carriers. They require a DSM or ICD code for reimbursement. How many claims have you submitted as a provider?

Lol who told you that? If you don’t think it’s authority try getting insurance to pay for a mental health visit without a specific DSM code. Insurance doesn’t pay for consensus beliefs.

Some providers do set their rate assuming that they will upcharge for extras, but I think that’s a slightly different issue than tipping. Although some providers do set their rate slightly below a number that is easier to “round up” to, in which case they might find that most of their clients do in fact round up as a tip. For example, charging $275 or $280 per hour. A lot of clients are going to go ahead and give $300. But mostly... no. Tips are generally not expected for normal service. Just always appreciated!
 
How can a provider go above and beyond normal expected service? Here are some examples...
 
- You booked an hour. 65 minutes into the session, you still haven’t come, but you also clearly really want to (you keep mentioning how close you are). Your escort keeps going for another ten minutes to get you there. Then, instead of rushing out since you are already 15 minutes overtime, he winds things down in a natural-feeling way. By the time he leaves, it’s been an hour and 25 minutes. He went above and beyond.
 
- Your regular provider knows that you have a serious jock fantasy. He tells you to meet him somewhere unusual. Turns out he’s arranged an empty locker room and when you show up, he’s dressed in sports gear of your liking. Fulfills your fantasy in a way that goes far above and beyond what you were expecting.
 
- Your regular escort knows that you love scotch, since you usually drink together during your outcalls. He also knows that your house is currently being renovated and you’re stuck in a hotel temporarily. He picks up a bottle of your favourite type before heading over to your room, paid for out of his pocket. Above and beyond.

I’m shy about nudity because I pass as cis when I’m clothed, I don’t when I’m naked, and people tend to treat me more poorly once they realize that I’m trans. Objectification, inappropriate questions, inappropriate anecdotes, ungendering, and more. If I keep my clothes on then I’m just a cute guy and things feel pretty normal. I guess in some ways I am LUCKY for whatever this general shyness seems to be, because it means that a lot of men don’t find it horribly strange that I just want to suck dick without taking my clothes off.
 
Of course that’s all in my personal life. When I’m getting paid it’s another story. My clients are well aware that I’m trans in advance and I’m more than happy to get naked when I’m getting paid, since it has no negative repercussions on our interpersonal dynamics.

I’m shy about nudity because I pass as cis when I’m clothed, I don’t when I’m naked, and people tend to treat me more poorly once they realize that I’m trans. Objectification, inappropriate questions, inappropriate anecdotes, ungendering, and more. If I keep my clothes on then I’m just a cute guy and things feel pretty normal. I guess in some ways I am LUCKY for whatever this general shyness seems to be, because it means that a lot of men don’t find it horribly strange that I just want to suck dick without taking my clothes off.
 
Of course that’s all in my personal life. When I’m getting paid it’s another story. My clients are well aware that I’m trans in advance and I’m more than happy to get naked when I’m getting paid, since it has no negative repercussions on our interpersonal dynamics.

It’s wild that there are gay people who actually think the DSM is some kind of authority on anything. Seriously??? You don’t know enough by now to know that it’s flawed and biased???
 
Any behaviour that is harming someone, which they desire to stop but return to and repeat compulsively is an ADDICTION. Regardless of whatever the fucking DSM has to say about it.
 
The DSM had transgender people defined as inherently mentally ill until only this year. And some of you think it’s a worthy authority to define our issues by. Amazing. Critical thinking skills are severely lacking sometimes.
 
Maybe some people are coming from a place of feeling defensive because they have been accused of being sex addicts for being promiscuous. Promiscuity is not sex addiction. But sex addiction is certainly real.

Child, when you're around me go ahead and run naked. You'll still be a cute guy to me.
 
If they treat you poorly when you're naked they're not the people you want to be around. When you show up in Las Vegas and I'll take you to a bar where you can present however you want and you won't be the only one.
 
Tits don't make a woman; Dicks don't make a man. It's all skin!
 

Google voice is deleting escort accounts. I still use it because I’ve been using it for 8 years and they haven’t shut me down yet. But I would not recommend opening a new number with GV if you can choose something that isn’t actively hunting& shutting down sex workers. GV has been getting more proactive about it since the passage of SESTA/FOSTA.

As I said in my earlier reply on this topic, I find it not only helpful but, at least in this phase of life, to use the word “addiction” to describe my relationship with erotic videos, porn, and phone sex to myself. And clearly it is very helpful for the many other men in SAA and other 12-step programs for whom the program is working.
 
I also understand that “addiction” is used by some people, particularly medical professionals, very narrowly, in the way that RudyNate has articulated. And some of us use it more loosely, with a broader definition. This includes lay people like you and me, and also some counselors and some clinical psychologists and psychiatrists.
 
In my subjective experience, I experience it as an “addiction,” even though there is no external chemical involved. From an objective, empirical point of view, if there’s not an external chemical involved, it doesn’t fit the narrow, formal definition used by the psychiatric research community.
 
Hope I got that right!

Compulsive behaviours which are harmful and cannot be stopped even if stopping is desired are addictions. That is the distinction. Eating is an example of a compulsive behaviour that is not an addiction, except in the case where someone knows that their manner of eating is harming them & wants to stop their compulsive eating habits but cannot. In that case it is an addiction.

This may come as a surprise to you, but my happiness is not even slightly dependant on whether you think I’m ugly or not...

This may come as a surprise to you, but my happiness is not even slightly dependant on whether you think I’m ugly or not...

I don’t recommend involving poppers in your bottoming as professional. The problem is that many people start to feel that they can ONLY bottom when using poppers. Especially if this is how you earn a living, intertwining the two can be a real problem. Do you want to be dependent on poppers to bottom for the rest of your life? If not, then I really recommend avoiding them, especially to help you bottom for work. Developing a relationship with them when bottoming can make bottoming without them seem more difficult.
 
For the record, I’m not anti-poppers. I keep them on hand at nearly all times so that I can offer them to people who like/need them during sex. But when people ask me if they should use them who aren’t already dependent on using them to bottom, I give them essentially the same spiel. I know a lot of guys who can no longer bottom without poppers. Which is exactly why I always have them on hand. But why put yourself in that situation if you can avoid it?
 
What I would recommend doing instead, is preparing with a butt plug and/or dildo and pre-lubricating before you meet clients. That way, even if they are impatient, you are already prepared.