Drained Empty

I interpret "West Hollywood" vibe in a couple ways: 1. Vapid and self-centered 2. ParTies 3. Has racial "preferences" that lean toward white and Latin Any of those three? All of them?

Kenomara, I am sad to hear this happened to you. I have spoken candidly about blanket racial rejection in other threads and facing similar experiences, whether with providers, hook-up apps, and/or at bars or spas. To be rejected for your race is a pain that can't be easily described and sadly one Asians, Indians, and sometimes blacks experience all too often. It is white privilege to both not have to experience it and own the power of rejection. The harsh and all encompassing "nos," i.e. "no Asians," dehumanize. You are no longer a person, you are a category. The even more offensive "no rice or spice" (no Asians or Indians) reduces you to an object. I'm sure there are white patrons that guys like Spencer are not attracted to, but they at least not treated with the indignity of an automatic rejection before an in-person meeting. At least you were spared the pain of being rejected to your face. To travel (I presume) to him with excitement and expectation, only to get "the look" (the same that patrons at bars and spas give, because they can't outright say "get away from me") and the awkward "sorry" followed by a closed door. Eventually, I find I forget those "nos" and "looks." They happen so often. The residual, ongoing hurt comes from knowing you've done nothing wrong except being born what most of gay society deems "undesirable" and not being able to do anything about it. And also it hurts realizing for all the LGBT "progress" that's being touted, there is hate within our own community. I'm going to stop now, because people on this board accuse me of playing "the race card" or having "issues." So thank you for sharing your experience, however painful, and having this discussion. Because being silenced is another type of "no."

I comprehend just fine. Don't insult my intelligence because I have never insulted yours. What follows will probably make you (and others) cringe, because I know you don't share the same views. Maybe you're enlightened. Maybe you're in denial. Maybe a bit of both. But here we go. The reason I act "deferential" is simple; it's been ingrained. Most minority/immigrants are instructed from childhood to assimilate, to fit in. We are taught not to offend, and if we do -- even when we've done nothing wrong -- to apologize. Whiteness is epitomized; Asianness (or blackness, etc.) is marginalized. This is heightened in our society, where whiteness is seen as desirable and the ideal. That's why many Asian women (and our gay brothers) go after white guys. Not only are they seen as physically desirable, they're a ticket into whiteness. Your skin color will never grant you entry, but perhaps your partner will. In the gay community, this is heightened to the nth degree as 95+% of the media and advertising promotes white beauty. Not only that, but Asianness is demoted. Asian men are emasculated, "supported" by the fact that biologically we tend to be smaller (a non-masculine trait). We are "othered." We are categorized as all the same, hence the frequency of seeing "no Asians." Anything white? Fine. Anything Asian? "No." Categorically "no." Others take it to extremes, saying "no Chinks/Gooks" (reducing us to a slur), or "no rice" (reducing us to not even humans). In bars, clubs, and especially spas, social mores and political correctness go out the window under the pretense of "preference." And while it's still unpolite to say "get away from me" -- again, even if we've done nothing wrong -- it's acceptable to repeatedly clear out a room when an Asian enters, sigh, roll your eyes, glare, intimidate, etc. Take pride, you say. Grow some balls! It's very difficult to break free from something so ingrained. On top of that, whites have power. That's why they're called the alpha gays. For God's sake they have so much power they've completely taken over Korean spas in LA, SF, and NYC. KOREAN Spas. It's why I reveal my race to masseurs. It's why I let whites claim space. They have power, specifically the power of rejection and "othering" me. Sometimes, I'll have moments of defiance or anger or activism and say something. Which, as you've pointed out, only makes things worse because then I sound "crazy." I am told "it's my fault." Or you get shamed for playing the "race card" (see post above). And its not just those in power. Asians do it themselves. For those with your views, Asians who are "deferential" are weak. For those with my views, we're just tired of fighting the system. I get walked out on in every visit. It gets tiring. I let the people with power be. We have no leaders. Not to get too political, but look at BLM. African Americans have been fighting for civil rights for decades and are still trying to get recognized. Asians were enslaved as well and we're barely scratching the surface when it comes to political rights and recognition, much less in the socio/sexual sphere. And definitely not in the LGBT sphere, as many Asian families disavow or don't discuss gayness. That, my friend, is why we as a whole are "defeated." Not just me.

If this were true. Edited to add: I had a lengthy post written but removed it because other posters who were previously supportive/understanding have since accused me of playing a victim, despite previously sharing their own brushes with racially motivated responses. Maybe one day I'll post what I wrote.

You should go flying more often.

Oh henney no. You did not just go there. In your Feb 22, 2018 post, you wrote that most of the guys you "hire" (your own verb) don't speak English. I'm sorry, are we talking about day laborers? Oh, you're taking about "dancers/escorts." In the thread about Pebble Beach, dated Feb 19, you talk about how you haven't "hired" from the area, but your friends have. You must "hire" elsewhere. In your sanctamonius stance, you've forgotten that I can quote you, too. I can bold and underline like you, but others can see it's not necessary. So who's lying. You are cherry picking my responses trying to craft a narrative of your own. Yes, I have said I have played at BW. Whether it was a four-way or 3-way that I watched from the side is immaterial. I broke the rules (as did the others) and said so. There are no other "stretches of truth" in my posts. You assumed I played with the beefy guy. I did not. You assumed I went to play. I did not (I was seeking therapy for a leg injury, if you must know). This thread has devolved into you slinging mud at me. Do so in private so we don't waste other's time. Oh and boiledeggz, I was waiting for you to chime in. I don't want a rep as a "creeper," as so many Asian brothers have because of their desparate, throw-themselves-at-any-guy, intrusive behavior. I would much rather been thought of as unattractive than a creeper.

I'm so sure in your many years as a "frequent flyer" at Burke Williams you never engaged in any "play." I don't believe that for a second and I doubt anyone on this board does. You can copy and paste my responses and bold and underline until you're blue in the face. I've said that I've played there in the past. But the truth in this last visit is that I didn't go to play. The truth is that I've never initiated. Ever. And the truth is the patron reacted the way he did. I know your type. You are someone who always has to get the last word in. You are someone who always needs to be right. You take it upon yourself to be judge and jury -- on a board about escorts of all places. I'm here to share my experiences. Good and bad. Enjoyable or not. Rule-abiding or rule-breaking. You are sanctamonius. Your posting history is rife with you telling other posters how they should feel. I love how you saved your "BW is not a bathhouse" comment just for me, when other posters have inquired directly about "play" there. I guess those nights you don't get off with your (illegal) escort "hires," you get off on attacking other posters.

I have never engaged with the beefy white guy. In fact, his behavior disgusted me. I've had private messages with another person on this board and he confirmed this guy's "rude looks" to patrons. As for the four-way, I didn't initiate that. In all honesty I stretched the truth on that. I walked in and the three-way was going on, and then jacked off. I wasn't actually part of it nor am I ashamed to admit so. I can unequivocally say I have never initiated with anyone at the spa because 1) I don't want to get tossed and 2) employees and their guests also use the spa. Have I played there and broken the spa rules before? Yes. Do I seek out play every visit? No. And do I initiate play? Definitely not. And have guys walked out solely based of my race? Definitely yes. As I wrote before, talking about someone's good looks is not the same as making a move on them. Talking about how the cruisiness of a location is not the same as playing there. Saying a place is "too packed to play" doesn't mean I initiate that behavior (that quote was in direct response to a poster seeking that kind of scenario). I am always polite to everyone there; even the spa staff joke they should be opening doors for me, etc. Many other patrons aren't, and some are downright nasty (either for no reason or racism or whatever). I was just explaining one scenario and you ran away with it. But please, continue to do so. We have free speech ... at least for now.

Please tell me in which one I've said I've initiated with someone? Observing someone as handsome is not the same as playing with them. Again, assumptions. Incorrect ones.

You are the one who made assumptions about me, accusing me of "playing" and writing an entire post based off that assumption. I do not go there to "play" nor do I initiate such behavior. As I stated, they did. Not me. Shame on you as a person of color for automatically siding with them. They were the ones violating the spa rules. Not me. As a person of color, you know when you get "the look" because of your race. It is not a "sensitivity" or preconception. It is an observation and deduction. Your previous comment has no merit. And your assumptions about me are not serving YOU well.

I don't go with the intention of "playing." These guys definitely were there for ulterior or secondary reasons. I don't initiate and I don't encroach on personal space. And if two guys are playing I give them their own space, even if I've paid to share that shared space. I've never heard it at BW, but I've been to Korean spas where I have heard guys say "too many Asians" or "wait for the Asians to leave." (The irony of these statements at these establishments does not escape me.) I have seen guys stay in a steamroom or sauna with all types entering -- young, old, hairy, bald, skinny, obese -- but if you're Asian they will beeline their way out of their before your ass hits the seat. It generally doesn't happen to any other race. Observe for yourself. This particular gentleman at BW did not tolerate my presence, getting up abruptly each and every time I entered. I did not engage with him in any way except for plesantries I would extend anyone else (opening the door, waiting in the water line, etc.). For the other white, black and Latin patrons -- attractive or not -- he would not leave. So all things considered it was my race that was the differentiating factor. This happened thrice over several hours (it's not a large facility so we crossed paths) and after that I just avoided him and gave him a wide berth lest I "offend" him again. Ask your friends of color. We know when someone is looking at us because of our race. It's a subtle disdain that most white people can't pick up on.

Checked out BW again today and again there was major eye candy. Two guys -- a goateed middle aged guy and a younger guy -- sported nice cocks and were trying to discreetly play with each other. Goatee guy gave me the "no asians"/get up and leave whenever I entered treatment so I let them be and actively avoided them. It's tough because it's a small facility and he paid $75 to enter. I just had to go where they weren't. Debating canceling my membership.

So I visited the SM location today and there were the most stunning guys there. Unfortunately two were leaving as I entered. They were so handsome the gay guy and black girl behind the counter were talking about them. Once in the spa area, there was a brunette twunk (a hunky twink) who had a great smile. There was also a guy who looked just like Ty Roderick without the tatts and younger. Both really handsome. There was also a great looking Middle Eastern guy but he was with a friend and had a wedding ring. Later this bearded hipster made an appearance as well as another hot guy as I was leaving. Was pretty floored by how handsome the guys were. The front desk gay noticed too because I've never seen any other staffer "come back" as many times as he did lol.

So I checked out the Pocket with a friend. Pocket is appropro -- most of the dancers were so short! In L.A. we are treated to the cream of the crop -- face, body, package. None of the dancers in NOLA had all three, except maybe the guy with the glasses. I was as fit as a few of them lol. Wasn't too impressed. Checked out Rawhide. First night was super quiet. I ended up getting blown by the hottest guy there and another, whom I learned was a bartender lol. The next night was a bit busier but zero action for me. The third night was crazy busy, with the bartender fucking a guy wearing a harness and at least 20 guys sucking and some fucking. I didn't get any action; maybe because I was a bit turned off by all the partner swapping, or maybe because I didn't drop trou -- not that my dick would be super visible in the dark anyway. Not sure I'd head back.

Paid a visit to Burke today and there were two stunning guys while I was there. Didn't get the sense they wanted to play but also didn't get the sense they were straight. Also, nothing pisses me off more than guys who are on their phones in the spa area. One older guy even took a call in the middle of the room. Not very relaxing.

Screened it weeks ago with critics so didn't get the same reaction as in a theater. I thought it was cute but none of the adults felt believable outside Jen Garner (and no one's dad looks like Josh Duhamel ever lol). The one diner guy looked way older than high school, as did Alexandra Shipp. I do know the feeling of emailing your crush anonymously and waiting for replies. That happened to me back in the day (before smartphones and push notifications) and I would rush back home. He thought I was a girl though lol.

Those signs have been up there forever. At least 18 months. There was one beefy white guy that used to walk around and sit in the steam room with a semi. I used to see him all the time but not recently. Maybe he got tossed. I have to agree that lately there's been a dry spell. There is always at least one or two pretty hot guys there. Fridays can be very packed -- too packed to play. It's a shame because when it was hot it was off the hook. I once got into a four-way in the steam! I'll probably check out the facilities (and debate cancelling my membership) this week if anyone is going. Has anyone else seen the guy who does yoga in the steamroom. He always leaves his towel on the floor. Heavily tatted with a great body and hung? Heard the Pasadena facilities and South Bay locations are cruisy. Hollywood definitely is not.

How are the bars if you're neither black nor white? Should I not even risk it?

Michael is only 18! I didn't look like that ... ever. There's another make model this season as well.

Butt implants?

Well, just giving the update they're in a new city.

All these are relatively new, online at the same time, map to the same area (I know the map function isn't always accurate) and have similar wording and hard-to-believe pics. I believe a few pics are of well known models. https://rent.men/Omarion https://rent.men/PriinceEmmanuell https://rent.men/Heydenn https://rent.men/FeyRoberto

No, it actually has a ball in it that spins. It kinda looks like a giant fidget spinner with tubes and the ball moves through it.

This entire post is an attack post on me and could've been sent via private message. I'm just here to share my perspective on things. I didn't go "off the rails" in the previous post. Jdjd46 was invalidating my experience, as you are, and putting words in my mouth, as you are. I was just giving him some examples of many things I've experienced, not out of attention or seeking pity, but to show how awful it can be out there. I genuinely believe other people haven't experienced such things because they have told me such! I'm just saying how nasty people can be, and you prove it. Go back through all of my messages, and you'll see I've never posted anything nasty about another poster. Because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. But by all means, continue sending your destructive/constructive criticism my way. I don't stop writing when I'm ignored. I take it private so I don't derail threads and people looking for info on this masseur. Come at me bruh, in private. I'm ready.

This isn't as silly as these other products but does anyone know about the weight sets that have a ball inside them that moves centrifugally. I think I saw them on Touch of Modern or some similar site recently and wanted to try them out.