Chelo

Yeah, that's what he quoted me as well. I was and am a little bit in shock that anyone would pay that when an escort rate is nothing like that................

Aka Marcus_A on rentmen. Not sure about his massage skills, but he was outstanding as an escort. 

MarcusNYC on RentMasseur
RENTMASSEUR.COM View my profile on RentMasseur.com Anyone?

Although no real info there.

Thank you!🙏

Anyone had an experience with https://rentmasseur.com/xxDavidNOW?

https://rentmen.eu/MichaelKoval

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/19051/ 411 about this guy anyone?

So easy to say so easy to jugde, shrug it off, grow a thick skin. Until it happens to you, your family, close friends, lover, partner. What would you do?
Any form of discrimination is bad thing regardless of your gender, race, belief. And never let anyone give a free pass because they will surely do it again and trust me they love to do it over and over again. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

So easy to say so easy to jugde, shrug it off, grow a thick skin. Until it happens to you, your family, close friends, lover, partner. What would you do?
Any form of discrimination is bad thing regardless of your gender, race, belief. And never let anyone give a free pass because they will surely do it again and trust me they love to do it over and over again. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

I see great looking guys all the time. I think there are at least two reasons for that:
 
I keep my eyes open.
I keep my mind open.
 
If I am in NYC and walking down the street or sitting eating a meal, I always people watch. I play a game in which I have to find something attractive about every man who goes by. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is difficult to find something. However, it is always possible.
It seems to me you guys are talking about the obviously hot guys, but there are hot guys everywhere.

Hi Sync, appreciate your words of encouragements for Drained Empty. Logically, I think self love is a good first step to developing a stronger self esteem and therefore happiness. However, imagine how difficult that is if day in and day out, you’re confronted by a society or community that tells you you’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not worthy of love. Maybe you won’t believe it the first time, ignore it the twentieth or hundred times, but eventually, you may think it’s even true. (That’s why we have high suicide rates for young gays, TGs, etc. and why the cosmetic industry, the diet industry, the cosmetic surgery industry, etc. are billion dollar strong because we are all not good enough)
 
As for the “Web” or such places we call “rice bars”, it’s nice to have a place of “acceptance,” where you’re not a minority. These are similar to the Chinatowns, the Castros in SF or other ghettos that were set up world-wide - initially as havens for the specific “minority” where we can feel safe and proud to be ourselves. But consider whether you would be happy if these are the only places you are accepted or feel safe. It’s the same concept - yes - it’s great to have places where we feel safe to be Asian or gay and be loved for being Asian or gay or black or whatever minority. But wouldn’t it be more wonderful if we can be loved outside of these ghettos.
 
And for those who are not familiar with rice bars, it’s a bit more complicated. You see, when you’re a young Asian boy growing up thinking that you’re not good enough, continuously told you’re not good enough just because you’re Asian, what do you think will happen when you’re in an Asian bar with lots of other Asians. Yup, you think they are Asians and therefore they are also not good enough either. This is what we call internalized racism which leads to externalized racism. Unfortunately, it’s against others like yourself and your kind. So, no, it’s not as easy as oh, ignore it and it’ll go away - ummm, there’s really only a few ways to walk away from yourself, one of which is permanently.
 
Now, let’s talk about the non-Asians at these rice bars - they come with a very specific attitude - easy picking because these Asian boys are desperate for a white boy so you can treat them like shit and they’ll be happy. At these bars, the non-Asians tend to be at least 20-30 years older than the Asian boys and about 50-80 pounds heavier. You’ve seen them about - it’s a different type of racism.
 
When I was 20, I was invited to a Pacific Friends party in SF (an organization to introduce white guys to Asian boys, and I played the little Asian boy in a room full of much older white men). I was grabbed without permission, pawed and expected to giggle like the geisha boy. It’s a very different power dynamic - older colonialists and the little native. So, should I feel loved because these older white men want to possess me? It’s an interesting dilemma - am I beautiful because I am exotic and smooth and slim and so quiet (only because I was freaking out!!!!)? And if I am beautiful, why am I only beautiful to these guys who expect me to play the bottom, to nod and smile and be meek but not to the regular young guys at the clubs like End-Up or the Mix etc.? Bars like the N’Touch and the Rice Paddy and probably the Web are full of guys with similar attitudes. So racism is not just an against... it’s also an applied assumption/stereotype. I am Asian so therefore I am expected to play the “girl” or passive role (nothing wrong with being the receiver but... not doing just because i’m Asian or it’s expected), the quiet submissive Asian, the young boy to the older man, etc. etc. (now, if we’re playing sex fantasy role play, sure, i’ll be happy to don my rice paddy hat and let some strapping white boy come dominate me.)
 
(But unfortunately or maybe fortunately in real life, I’m more buff now than skinny, have always been loud and bossy, and opinionated so not really submissive. And in my younger days, was too proud to be a boy toy but am open to the option if you have lots of sugar has haaaa...)
 
Things have changed a lot - Asians are no longer just relegated to rice bars and we can now date boys our own age and our body types. If you visit boyculture or queerty or any other gay sites, you’ll see gay Asians with hot bodies next to boys of other races. But as much as the community has advanced, you still hear a lot of discriminations and also defense of it “well, it’s a sexual attraction” so that’s OK. Let me put it another way... if you put “no Asian, no fat, no femme” you’re actually are being racist, fat phobic and anti-femme (whatever that word is). It’s not a preference - it’s a discrimination. You see, you’re not attracted to all whites, all non-fat or none-femme hits - because amongst those, some have long hair, some with no hair, some with long faces and some with missing teeth, etc. And you didn’t list those preferences either: like no long hair, no missing teeth, etc. etc. There are thousands of parameters to which you judge someone and you didn’t list them. You list their race so that makes you a racist. You list their body weight, so your fat phobic, etc. You could easily just judge the Asian as with any white guy who’s not fat or femme and find the Asian either attractive or not. But the fact that he’s automatically out of the running because he’s Asian makes it racist. Also, there’s a difference between saying I am attracted to something or I prefer something - that’s a preference - like I have a thing for blue eyes and long long lashes. But specifically stating that you dislike something, that the ism.

A few decades ago my best friend owned one of the most popular gay bars in LA. He is gone now, but there was a time when he absolutely hated for woman to come into the bar, even going so far as to telling the bartenders not to serve them. He hated lesbians, drag queens, and transgenders. I'm not sure how or why he developed this disdain and hatred, but we had fierce arguments over his policies and over the politics of it all. Even back then, I was disturbed by the lack of inclusiveness in the gay community. You can't call yourself a community, fly the flag, but then engage in bigotry, and then claim the moral high ground by demanding equal rights. But he was my friend and I loved him dearly, and even he knew that he was from a different time, and that the world was changing. He eventually sold the bar, and sadly died far too young a few years later. Not that this makes it any better, but he was honest about how he felt, he told his truth, even debating lesbians who wanted to be a part of the bar. His honesty allowed for that debate.
 
I still miss him to this day...

Your writing(s) sadden me with the tone of low self-esteem expressed. Even the name you have chosen for yourself "Drained Empty" suggests low self-esteem. One's own race and skin color are not options that can be changed. From my own life experience I can declare bigots are everywhere, but they are not everybody. With respect to Asians, I have known many non-Asian gay men who are absolutely enamored with Asian men. There once was a bar in NYC named "The Web" on East 58th Street that was owned and operated by Asians. There were Asian patrons/dancers/bartenders, and believe me, that bar was packed all the time with non-Asians looking for Asians. If you can, begin to train yourself to stop looking into your detractors but to look past them. You might begin by considering another more positive forum name for yourself.

Re ageism. Even though guys have commented that part of my attraction is my self-confidence, I still worry that I’m too old for some guys and, consequently, shy away from pursuing non-hobby relationships. Just this past Saturday, I met a group of girls and their one gay friend at a neighborhood watering hole. I found the guy, 34ish, very cute a fun. On Tuesday night, I dropped by and he was there with one co-worker, female, who left after few minutes. We chatted for over an hour and I summoned the courage to tell him I’d like to keep in touch and he then suggested we share numbers. Outside, we hugged and went our way. The self-limiting mechanism kicked in and now I’m thinking of avoiding this place for a while. Talk about self-sabotage!

Chelo, you can search my posting history to see me talk about discrimination that I face, mostly due to my race.
 
I won't detail them here, but they can be as minor as insults and looks (often by the white gay elite) to serious threats (ironically, an Asian guy threatened to "get a group of guys" to beat me up and find/harrass me at work for expressing a preference for white and black men).
 
For those who say "grow a thick skin" and "stop worrying what people think." As a minority, that very skin is what I'm attacked, othered, and discriminated over. Because many LGB people can visually "pass" as straight (the "norm" in most societies), they typically aren't subject to harrassment like say, an Asian (my ethnicity) is.
 
I worry what strangers think because random they can harrass -- or worse, hurt -- me just based on that skin. And they do. Regularly. Randomly. I intentionally omitted the T/trans above because I believe trans people are subject to the same threats minorities are just based upon appearance.
 
A few more thoughts about "growing a thick skin." Of course I'd love to go through the world not worried about what others think. But it's difficult to "thicken one's skin" when you experience micro and macro-aggessions every day of your life, ever since you were an adolescent. And it gets depressing when you realize that likely for the rest of your life, you will continue to experience that.
 
And sometimes you don't want to just ignore it. As a minority (not just racial, this applies to any group that is put down), sometimes you want to speak out, share your experience, and "fight the good fight." And often when you do, you are told "stop playing the race (or insert whatever else here)" card or to "move on." Even members of this very thread (and an admin) have told me what to do or dismissed my opinions. Sometimes, you are driven to speak out. And consequently told to shut up. That is very invalidating.
 
Unfortunately, those who discriminate often are the ones lauded. In the gay community, it's not surprising that the white elite (the good-looking, fit types that the media and society push as the ideal) are the ones who most frequently and vocally say "no Asians." And sadly, no one blinks and eye when they see or hear that.
 
This lengthy post just scratches the surface of what is means to be an "undersirable" (i.e. Asian, fat, old) in gay society. The saddest part is the internalized racism (I can't tell you how many times another gay Asian has treated me horribly), sizeism and ageism out there in the gay community.
 
If there's one thing I agree with above, it's that our community discriminates to a fault.

Thanks for your reply.

Thanks for your reply.

Did not realize the Blake's broke up. Not surprised, they had several reviews (when they worked together) that said they were fighting during the session

Just from my X-Wife. She'll throw out f****t or make some catty remark, usually when I'm not around but our grown kids are. Nice lady. One of those long ago choices I'd definitely reconsider. I do like having my kids, though......so there's that.

As you are aware, and should be aware, that bigotry and discrimination is as pervasive in the gay community as it is anywhere, maybe even more so, because it is often disguised and hidden behind the rainbow flag, and wrapped in a veil of subtle sarcasm and hatred, and of course the obligatory 'rolled eyes'. The degree to which those of color and those that don't fit the Madison Avenue ideal physical profile vary of course, but it is still there. AND yes...most, if not all of us have been, or are guilty of discrimination. My life's experience is quite different than most, so I have seen more of the ugly side of society. I don't believe that in my life time, much will change, so my tolerance is near zero. I prefer to spend my days surrounded by those that live their life in truth, whatever that truth might be...I can handle the truth, but I can't handle the dishonesty.
 

True that!

This is why everyone must be judged as individuals and not as a part of some group.

That's not just a facet of being gay... That's life in-general. Horrible acts are usually what push humans to be better, more successful people.
 
I suggest growing a thick skin in getting through this world: Spending all your time giving a shit about what- most likely- a stranger thinks is a waste of time. Overcoming these things requires laughing it off, putting on the blinders and continuing to move forward.
 
People who openly discriminate say more about themselves than the people they're trying to hurt.

I think travis was his ex boyfriend (cjblake)