LaffingBear

Twist on this question: Clients, if without trying, you learned your rentguy's real name, would you tell him? I repeatedly hired a guy, eventually overnights & longer. He was great, but occassionally indicated he didnt care to share his true identity. Thats ok by me - I understand. Except, over the course of our appointments, he unknowingly did things revealing his name. E.g. He wanted to show me something on his laptop... sat next to me, log in screen had first name "Bob's Laptop" Subsequent visit, we watched porn together on laptop..... the wallpaper was a picture of him, name of the stripper troupe, troupe's homebase/locale, his strip-stage name Walking back to hotel one night, he took a personal call but motioned I need not step away. Related story to caller of a contractor apologizing for work performed, relating contractor said "how do we make this right, Mr. Smith?" So I now knew real first, last name, other job, etc. It occurred to me to tell him, particularly when he behaved a little skittish about his identity. Also as some means to convey "look, I know you're Bob Smith, your stage name is XXXXXXX, known for awhile, I'll never use or share the info, you can trust me." I never mentioned it, never told others....

For clarification.... what kind of strip show? And where? If its a gay venue, and lapdances are part of the performances... if private shows happen.... then arrange for a private. If hes doing a lapdance, just ask quietly if hes available for privates outside the club. Even if he says no, he won't be offended. I've done this, and it worked 2-3 times.... got me polite "no" many others. If its strictly performance venue, like Thunder from Down Under, Chippendales, etc.. if dancers never leave the stage, if there are abolutely no private shows... be content to be friendly. I wouldnt request more unless I got to kniw him very well. Creep alert: if a little obsessed.... try reverse search on his phone number or pictures. You may find ads that address your desires. Its a creepy thing to do, but... somtimes guys cant help being motivated by the crotch.

I dont think the manufacturer/ seller is lampooning anyone. I think thats a legitimate offering. If the seller was being facetious, they wouldn't acknowledge "make America great again " as officially registered to Trump for Prez. Ya know, it would be tempting to buy and gift that to some people I know. But I won't risk sending my money to an unknown. “Money is like manure; it's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow.” may be a great Thornton Wilder quote. And frequently true. But in this situation, I'd worry my "money is like fertilizer, and buying Trump items encourages manure to grow."

While I'm out, I have been known to opine that its nobody's business what I choose to do in my bedroom. I've even said "would you ask a woman whether she prefers to be on top or bottom when she's having sex with her husband?" Then a gay friend said to me "It's not that simple. Whether you want to or not, it's also about whether you can walk down the street holding hands with another guy." Much as I detest conceding in logical discussions.... he was right. I cringe a little at the concept of gay lifestyle. I'm conservative in behavior, and eschew lifestyle based on any one attribute. Is there a Christian lifestyle? A Filipino lifestyle? Not cultural choices and behaviors, but a lifestyle? I refuse to comport myself in a specific manner because of society's lifestyle expectations. But the ability to live however one wants - or might want - without concern for others' reactions, means that being gay is about more than what happens in the bedroom.

I'm out. Family, friends, neighbors know. I'm out because it just became too much effort to lie, dissemble, mislead and obfuscate. Its exhausting! I feel no pressing need to tell everyone immediately upon meeting. I fly no flag. There's no rainbow on my bumper. So I suppose some business acquaintances don't know. But if we're friendly enough to chat, go to lunch, they know. In fact, I often have a little fun when people, getting to know me, asking questions, reach understanding. It's visible on their face, evident they want to ask "are you gay?" but are afraid. I usually smile and chuckle, saying "its ok. I have nothing to hide. You can ask." I'm not proud of being gay. I reserve pride for accomplishments; I had nothing to do with being gay. I'm not proud of being six feet tall or having brown eyes. Or size 13 feet....well .... I'm proud of the manner in which I live my life. I'm proud that I've upheld my personal commitment that I'll never ever make even the slightest effort to hide who I am. I'm proud of my lifestyle choices, and my career accomplishments; I think its important that others see that I live a quiet suburban lifestyle, have advanced through management into owning my own business. Being gay doesn't define me. Not all gays live the stereotypical lives depicted by the entertainment and other media. When its finally apparent that there are gay butchers, congressmen, executives, techies, single and partnered, thin and fat, black white & brown, quiet or outspoken, timid or faaaabulous living in cities, suburbs, towns and on farms..... maybe people will stop looking for, focusing on, and reacting to differences.

Im not surprised at all. Although there's no real way to prove it, I believe that only a very small fraction of whats actually occurred is - or ever will - come to light. Men think with their crotch much more often then we choose to admit, or are even aware. Wealthy, successful people dont believe norms and social standards apply to them. I know extraordinarily intelligent, successful, liberal, social do-gooders who think that satisfying libidinous urges is perfectly acceptable. Ive listened to them opine about FDR, JFK, etc.... Three ingredients that, when combined, are a recipe for making non-consensual, sexual, overtures.

I've seen some of those myths posted by forum-users. The myth that Tops need not worry comes to mind.

LOL that art is labeled "KincadeForLess" I lost interest in the artist. That he was religious, and his work was inspired by his faith, has no effect on me. But, upon learning that he announced that the streaming light depicted in his works is the light of Jesus, and he puts a religious element in every art piece, I declined further consideration. It feel too much like an attempt at religious propagandizing.... _________________________ More to the point of the original post..... enjoying the morning nip in the air here in NorCal, but challenged to embrace the seasonality when daily highs hover in mid-to-high 60s, and precipitation is elusive. I'm longing for: And, in my suburban locale, 25 miles east of SF

I didnt schedule my classes accordingly, but college (1977-81) is when I became a viewer. The TV lounge in the Student Union was always jammed at AMC time. In my case, neighbor girls moved in with us for a couple weeks due to fire in their apartment. And I got hooked on One Life to Live. Watched many over the years, videotaping during my early career years. My favorite: Ryan's Hope, the only one not set in a fictionale locale. Eventually lost interest. I havent seen an episode since long before the turn-of-the-century. I know I've seen reports of long-running soaps canceling after decades on-air. I dont really know if any still air, or if they do, which ones.

Visitors often assume that New York is a dangerous place. Ive only felt genuinely scared three times in perhaps 15 visits. One time involved tickets. Once, (1984?)standing in the TKTS line, a guy came along encouraging those in line to buy tickets to The Rink with Stockard Channing. While I'm no Broadway aficionado, I happened to have read about the show closing a few weeks earlier. When I announced that loudly, and repeatedly cautioned nearby strangers in line and passers-by not to buy the worthless tix - I thought the scalper was going to do me physical harm. In 1991, visiting NYC, there was a guy standing out front of the Broadway Theatre "scalping" orchestra tickets to Miss Saigon. He told a frustrated tale of a group purchase, and then many of the group unable to attend. I was very suspicious, but I persuaded the guy to walk over to the box office with me, where he presented our potential purchases to the agent,who declared the tix legit. So we scored 6th row Orchestra seats to the recently opened hit, 30 minutes before curtain, at face-value. In hindsight, I was surprised the box office employe didnt refuse or admonish us that scalping was prohibited. In contemporary times, my StubHub experience is only as an NFL ticket reseller. They require no proof of ticket authenticity. But sellers are required to provide a credit card.... and if the ticket is bad/refused/duplicate or undelivered, the seller not only loses the sale proceeds, s/he's charged for equivalent or best available replacement tix as well. Recently aired by one of the local network news' consumer shows: guy bought 6 seats to Hamilton. Tickets to be mailed by Orpheum Theatre (SF). Paid by credit card $3000. Then, couldnt go. Sold tix on StubHub, $3000. Tix never arrive by mail. Orpheum won't replace, eventually offers will-call on night of performance , but that's too late to satisfy StubHub obligation. (And buyer cant go to theatre, yet re-buyer is anonymous to orig. buyer). StubHub not only retrieves $3000, but charges orig-buyer credit card $2400 to replace re-buyer's tix with best available. Eventually, all worked out with help of news program, but original buyer was facing $5400 in costs before settled. And StubHub bore the cost of the replacement tix.

I suspect even the A-hole In Chief knows to stay away... because of the allegations against him. Hes said nothing about Hollywood moguls or Democrat Congressmen. Furthermore, this issue doesnt pander to his base EDIT: WOW, I GOT THAT WRONG! Even my cynicism is no match for the behaviors of POTUS (Petulant Obnoxious Threatening Ultra-Scumbag)

I am more skeptical about the potential for genuine attitudinal and value change. I acknowledge that behavioral change is a start. I suppose its a good thing if guys dont harass women, or guys, because they'll get reported. Because they'll get in trouble. But I doubt any of what's playing out will change attitudes. In fact, I suspect it'll become another point of musing about political correctness. While the situations are not at all similar, I cant help noting some similarities to the challenges of racism in America. We removed the Confederate flag from most public spaces. We're engaged in, or even distracted by, a debate about confederate statues. Cops wear body-cams so that they are aware they can get caught and/or disciplined if caught in inappropriate actions. People in poorer communities have learned to use phones to record everything, because the prospect of "gotcha" works.... but it also perpetuates distrust. But we really arent doing anything to level the playing field, to ensure equal access to opportunity, for all people. We arent even able to have a serious, unemotional societal conversation about bigotry.

I have very mixed feelings about the still-developing wave of revelations regarding harassment in our workplaces. Its gone on too long as a dirty, unaddressed behavior. I'm glad its getting attention. Light is a disinfectant, and perhaps the behavior can be prevented I think its important that the exposure may be empowering women to speak out. These positives acknowledged, I can't help thinking Its playing out more publicly than I care to see. I dont know what the alternative should be...handling it quietly, secretly, perpetuates the problem. Perhaps the exposures could be announced in a more low-key manner. It feels as if much of the reporting, investigative and exposure, is for sensationalism - and ratings. They're not reporting it and the public's not watching for altruistic reasons. It's become a giant game of GOTCHA. It will come down to money. The women harassed will file for emotional damages, creative charges of career hampering, etc. Many of the claims will be justified, some exagerated, and eventually, exploitive scammers will flock to the playing field. Ruining careers is really not a solution. But neither are apologies and moving-on. Not sure what the productive response is... perhaps a public figure apologizing, entering counseling with public progress reports, and very public service, such as work at women's shelters, or active participation as anti-harassment trainers. Once again, the consuming public will respond based upon their prior attitudes. If they disliked the publiic persona, they'll take some pleasure in seeing him toppled. If they liked the guy, they'll be disappointed or sad. The victims wont be of any significant concern. The whole situation makes me feel very cynical about the way we address systemic problems.

Point taken..... my bad

1 hour first time meeting. Limit your exposure, just in case you're not a happy customer. If happy.... you can always ask to extend time. If he can't accommodate, you still had a good hour, and can schedule future appointments. If unhappy, it may present an extra challenge to leave before the full two hours are up, and if it's your initiative, there are financial consequences . Follow-up appointments: go for as long as you can afford and perform/enjoy..... ask him if he has preferences.

Have no fear nor concern. It wouldn't happen, because I almost never tread into the politics forum. The things I write are only light extemporania.... I won't put politics on paper, its a mania.

Thats how our Prez filled the cabinet posts....... and intends to keep them

I like that movie. Alot. I dont know if it was considered either a critical or box office success. I thought it was interesting that, in a recent televised tribute to Diane Keaton, they mentioned or showed clips from almost every other movie she's made, but no mention of her appearance in Family Stone.

What I do.... Behave as myself. There should be no extra burden to celebrate it. Why place a duty on those who are discriminated against? Do African Americans need to somehow behave in a certain manner? Should Jews refuse discounts because of old stereotypes. Actually, I guess I'm a hypocrite. I would usually not discriminate against a person of size. But I'd want nothing to do with a fat guy sporting a "Fat's Where It's At!" TShirt, or intentionally dressing so that his beer belly hangs over his belt, as if its a badge of honor.

Same thing happened 4-5 times Black Friday in the parking lot of the local outlet mall.

Discrimination was used correctly. Definitions: the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit Use of a word is not qualified based upon other factors, such as the effects of the word used. Personally, I feel no outrage regarding the discrimination itself. Its not that fat-discrimination is worse than gender-, age-, ethnic-, or race- discrimination. That its effects are more or less severe... or prevalent. Its that its still socially acceptable to discriminate against fat people. If I was hiring a salespereon... I'd be subject to disciplinary action if I didnt hire the Mexican guy, or the older woman, or the physically challenged person in a wheelchair. But there'd be no reaction whatsoever if I didnt hire the fat guy because he didnt convey the image I want representing our company. Social Scientists point out that obesity discrimination is the last sanctioned bigotry in America.

I traveled to that area 2 weeks ago. This showed up on my A4A as I left. I have no experience...not even any subsequent contact... But things are so scarce in the SFV, thought I'd share https://m.adam4adam.com/?p=PeteRocks19

Hired in contradiction to bad reviews based upon actual hiring-experience? Nope. Hired in contradiction to negative opinions or cautionary comments based upon advertisements? Yep. Wasnt surprised, but was pleased with the outcome.

I worked for a company. I resigned to start consulting, kept my ex-employer as client, recruited a woman to replace some of the very basic duties that were part of my job. Such as accounts payable. It was a bad hire. My fault. As I got to know her, I became convinced she was exceedingly stupid. Incapable. I recommended terminating before end of probationary period. She had an ongoing series of woes. Auto breakdowns. Arrived at work one day with a black eye, tale of boyfriend's abuse. Owner was sympathetic, kept her employed against my recommendation. Eventually, she was terminated for non-performance at about 9 months. Investigating some expense overruns, we found she had set up an elaborate ruse, had registered a dba locally in the same name as a very large,high-volume, out-of-state vendor, and had been putting already-paid invoices and vendor checks before the owner for signature. Depositing them in the business bank account she'd established locally using the dba. She got away with $120,000. Guess she wasnt really inept or stupid!