samhexum

A COMICS HOMAGE TO JESSICA SIMPSON:

then I hope you've led a virtuous life...

I haven't watched this series for a while, but tonight I watched the Glenn Close episode (S6, E3). She was delightful in it.

Man who murdered Jackson Heights woman in SoHo hotel fled wearing her clothes I'd say that's an interesting wrinkle, but he probably ironed them first.

and just a hop, skip, and a jump away... Regal Atlas Park movie theater applies for beer and wine license

He's been suspended 2 games for PEDs.

He was my perfect match. Then he swindled me out of $71,640 — my life savings. Now I’m suing him for fraud. When I matched on Hinge with Rob Harris, a blonde haired, blue-eyed 30-year-old real estate agent who worked at Real Brokerage last April, he love bombed me. SMALL FEET? He was a real estate agent from New Jersey, like me. He was very funny, witty. We cracked jokes. He was light hearted. A family guy who loved dogs. Charming. Entrepreneurial. His prompt that got me to message him on Hinge was: “I’ll fall in love with you if you make me laugh.” I responded, “That won’t be a problem.” I sent him my number and we continued the conversation. The chemistry was instant and eventually, we talked about moving to Miami and putting an offer on a condo. We were talking all day non-stop. About our jobs in real estate, about silly nostalgic things like “Sponge Bob.” I looked him up to make sure he was a real estate agent. That checked out. He told me personal things about his life, he said, “A few girls I was talking to were taken aback by this, but I need to tell you, about a year ago, I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, a thickened heart wall. “Just so you know, some days I’m able to get up and go and other days I’m so exhausted because I could be sitting still and my heart is pumping at 150 beats per minute.” My grandmother had something similar. I wasn’t going to write him off because of a heart issue. He was helping pay his mom’s mortgage and taking care of things for his family because his stepdad was having a serious back surgery, he told me. I thought, “that’s really honorable, he stepped up to the plate as the other man in the family.” We set a time to meet — he was going to drive into the city. Then at 7 p.m. that night I got an audio message saying: “Christina, I’m really sorry. Something is going on at the hospital I need to make sure my stepdad is okay. I’m really sorry. I do see a future here, please don’t be mad.” I can’t be the a–hole and get mad at that. I also had compassion for him and his situation because my mother had breast cancer, kidney cancer and a form of bone marrow cancer in the span of three years. I had to make a lot of concessions in my life. It was easy for us to connect on that level. He was sending me NYU Langone sites about the surgery — everything he was saying was checking out. In May, we finally went out on our first date. When we met, he opened the car door of his Tesla Model 3 for me. I thought, “What a gentleman.” We went to Catch Steak in Chelsea. He was a very nice dresser, wearing a black T-shirt and gray jeans with a designer watch. He came off as a very sweet, nurturing guy. When I met him in person I was like, “He’s not just good on the phone, over text, he’s handsome and we have good conversation.” On the date he said to me that he planned to move to Florida in October, and if this goes anywhere, is that something you’re open to? I said it’s funny, because I have family down there, my best friend is down there, I go back and forth as it is. I was in the process of getting a Florida real estate license. I was like, “yeah, this is synchronicity.” Our first kiss was electric. We talked until 3 a.m. that night. He sent me an audio message that said, “I think I met the love of my life.” The next month, he invited me to his friend’s birthday dinner. We were approaching the place and he said, “I don’t want to go. I just want to spend time with you, I haven’t seen you.” We were right in front of the restaurant. I thought it was a little weird, but we went out for dinner blocks from the place. He didn’t want any pictures on social media because he said he wanted to keep our life private because when too many people know your business, it ruins a good thing. On August 10, he asked me to Venmo him $501 to test if his Venmo works and promised to repay me. Shortly after, we went to Miami where we stayed at the W Hotel in Brickell. We were both applying for our Florida real estate licenses. He told me we’re going to have a future together. He was putting in an offer on a condo in Aventura, Florida and told me he stayed in Miami to work on building his real estate network. On August, 21 he asked me for $1,310 to pay for a yacht charter and a restaurant, to help him build a real estate network in Miami, which isn’t out of the ordinary to spend on marketing. He told me he didn’t want to show the lender how much he was spending while we were making the offer on the Miami condo — which added up. Then, he asked me for $5,000 for an Airbnb and said he would pay me back – he even sent me his bank statement showing $720,000. He promised to give me $10,000 in cash the next time we saw each other. I was getting nervous because my savings started to dwindle. Then he drops a bombshell on me, saying he owned a house with an ex-girl friend. When they broke up things got really hairy and at one point the police were called, he said, and she was going to press charges. Then, an hour before I was supposed to leave to fly down to Florida I get a text from him saying, ‘Houston we have a problem.’ He doesn’t answer the phone. I’m texting him non-stop. He sends me this long text saying apparently this thing with an ex was never cleared up, and they arrested me. I said, “Why do you still have your phone? What do I do?” He said he needed bail. He asked me for $12,000. I wired him the money. It turns out he was never arrested and the money went to the Airbnb. I went to the police department in October, they said basically what you have is credit card fraud. When I tried to serve him the court docs, I found out he had been living with another girl in New Jersey the whole time. She said he moved to Miami! LOVE IS A MANY $PLENDORED THING https://nypost.com/2024/02/16/lifestyle/real-life-tinder-swindler-charmed-me-out-of-my-life-savings/

Dozens of ‘rogue’ cows run free along South Carolina highway after 18-wheeler crashes in fiery blaze Talk about free-range cattle. A swarm of cows ran free across a South Carolina highway Tuesday after the tractor-trailer carrying them ran off the road in a fiery wreck. Wild photographs showed real-life cowboys lassoing the runaway cows as they bolted down the interstate and waded in nearby waters. “In an unusual [sight], riders on horseback used lassos to catch some of the cows and place them in cattle trailers,” Colleton County Fire-Rescue said in a release. More than 35 cattle were inside an 18-wheeler when it crashed into a bridge, burst into flames and split in half, with its cattle car plunging into a river near Walterboro, a city 50 miles west of Charleston. Rescue teams responded just past 1 a.m. to find the mangled truck completely engulfed in flames and hanging over the side of the bridge, leaking diesel fuel across the roadway and into the water below. Miraculously, the driver and his herd escaped from the inferno, officials said. The driver was rushed to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. “Firefighters and law enforcement discovered several cows in the river and on the banks. Some were injured,” fire officials said. The rest of the herd had run loose into the woods and along the highway, setting off a wild day-long chase involving rescue teams and local veterinarians and ranchers, some of whom arrived on horseback. Out of an abundance of caution, investigators shut down both the northbound and southbound sides of the roadway as they hunted down the roaming cattle, want of which were dark-colored and not visible during nighttime along the rural highway. “The effort ran into hours as the cattle ran in multiple directions,” the fire department said. Officials re-opened the highway after 10 exhilarating hours, but the chase wasn’t over — it took the remainder of the day to round up rogue cows that had escaped to neighborhoods along the highway. OY! HOW DO I HITCHHIKE WITHOUT THUMBS?

I see you got over your reluctance to take the 7. How was the food?

WHO GOT SUCKED OFF? 13 MINUTES UNTIL WE FIND OUT!

In a recent interview with Deadline, Craig Erwich, who oversees ABC, Freeform and Hulu, confirmed that the New York City-based comedy will relocate to California for at least part of Season 4. And now, TVLine can confirm that Molly Shannon will appear as part of a season-long arc as a “high-powered Los Angeles business woman who finds herself drawn into the world of the investigation in New York.” Additionally, Meryl Streep will reprise her Season 3 role as Oliver’s girlfriend, Loretta Durkin.

train conductor delights commuters with zippy rhymes

Fortunately, I'm not even into Allison Brie... It’s not looking gouda for the fate of these cheeses. Certain French frommages are under threat of extinction due to a lack of microbial diversity, experts say, with varieties of bries, blues and the infamously stinky Camembert topping the high-risk list, according to the French National Center for Scientific Research (CNRS). “It’s very important to preserve diversity, even in microorganisms, and in particular in those we use for making food,” Jeanne Ropars, a research scientist specializing in evolutionary genetics and ecology at the French National Center for Scientific Research, told Culture magazine. Milk market news site US Dairy explains that most natural cheeses are made from the same four basic ingredients: milk, salt, rennet — a blend of animal enzymes that causes milk to coagulate, separating the cheese curd from liquid whey — and “good bacteria.” These microorganisms are the foundation of all the textures, smells, colors and flavors of all cheese, from Italian fresh mozzarella to the funky German Limburger (which is created with the same germs that cause foot odor). The fungi alters the originally orange, gray and green Camembert into a white wheel resembling brie. This singular strain is what cheesemakers rely on for this aesthetic — and what makes the industry so fragile. “Diversity is necessary for the survival of species. Without it, species are unable to cope with environmental change,” Ropars said as he urged scientists to identify or develop alternatives to Penicillium camemberti and other cheesemaking microorganisms. Ropars explained that the fungi are asexual, so there’s no way to avoid the extermination of genes when they mutate — and once that biodiversity is lost, there’s no way to get it back. To make more Penicillium camemberti, scientists have to clone it, and cloning an individual bacteria year after year can introduce harmful errors into the genome. The issue impacts not only how cheese is made, but how they’re regulated and traded globally. Many French cheeses fall under Protected Designation of Origin (PDO) standards, which officially links a variety of cheeses to the region where it was produced, according to the European Commission. PDO guidelines would have to be rewritten before dairies could produce traditional cheese with unconventional ingredients. According to Ropars, cheese lovers and the cheese industry are going to have to get used to seeing brie and Camembert appearing in colorful hues and variant flavors, which is just a small change to endure to keep the highly coveted cheese alive and well. It's a catastro-brie! Why your favorite cheese might be in danger of... NYPOST.COM It's not looking gouda for the fate of these cheeses.

They took PDA to new heights. A pair of “reckless clowns” had a mid-day tryst while riding on the top of a moving subway train in Queens, according to photos of the apparent death-defying sex act. “Men appear to be having sex on top of a NYC MTA train. What is the MTA doing about this?” an X user posted along with two images showing three people on the roof of a 7 train as it crosses raised tracks above the Van Wyck Expressway. The X account — which describes itself as “transit workers against corruption” — said the subway surfing romp happened last Friday afternoon, but the MTA was not able to confirm when it occurred. The transit agency slammed the obscene and dangerous stunt. “The only thing dumber than riding on top of a subway train is dropping pants in the process,” MTA Communications Director Tim Minton said in a statement to The Post. “Those reckless clowns aren’t thinking about the mess cleaners and other transit workers will have to deal with when their stupid stunt goes tragically wrong.” The MTA has tried to crack down on subway surfing with a campaign in September discouraging youths from risking their lives atop moving trains after a huge uptick in both incidents and deaths.

Johnny Oleksinski Running time: 55 minutes. Rated 13+. Streaming Feb. 16 on Prime Video. For months, questions have swirled around what exactly Jennifer Lopez’s musical film “This Is Me… Now: A Love Story” would be. We knew that the movie would feature songs from her new album, also called “This Is Me… Now,” and somehow concern itself with the many highs and Los of her topsy-turvy romances. Well, now that it’s here in all its gaudy glory, I can reveal that the Amazon flick is a whole lot wilder than touching introspection set to music. This ain’t an acoustic Springsteen on a stool, or Miley in the backyard. J.Lo has delivered an over-the-top song-and-dance camptacular, both gravely serious and deliriously funny, providing one cuckoo moment after another. It’s easy to imagine Lopez instructing director Dave Meyers, “Let’s get loud.” Her flick is blaring. An example of how surreal the cinematic therapy session is: Husband Ben Affleck (who made a splash at the Super Bowl) dons a lion’s mane wig to play a cable news host named Rex Stone, who announces on his show called “The Truth” that “love is dead!” Because the film is such a proudly ludicrous and thinly veiled retelling of actual events, it’s pass-the-popcorn entertaining. If only more A-List celebrities would interpret their headline-making personal lives as an absurd, big-budget musical co-starring Jane Fonda. I yelped when the “9 to 5” actress, playing an omniscient character called Sagittarius, looked down on J.Lo’s struggles from the cosmos and observed, “It’s like a ‘Vanderpump Rules’ marathon. And it’s four in the morning, and I stop judging them and I start judging myself.” Sag is a member of the high-in-the-sky Zodiac Council, alongside Trevor Noah (Libra), Kim Petras (Virgo), Keke Palmer (Scorpio), Sofia Vergara (Cancer), Jenifer Lewis (Gemini), Jay Shetty (Aries), Neil deGrasse Tyson (Taurus), Sadhguru (Pices) and Post Malone (Leo), who whimpers, “It makes me super sad. I just wanna give her a big hug!” Heaven’s top priority, naturally, is Jennifer Lopez. Or, sorry, not Jennifer Lopez at all. Her character here is called — wait for it — “The Artist.” Those ethereal beings watch closely as Artist endures a bad breakup with a guy with Affleck’s jawline, marries three times and then learns to love herself in the end. Literally. She croons a song to her inner child in the Bronx who shouts at her, “I didn’t get enough love from you! You left me alone!” After her dramatic opening split, which is visualized as a motorcycle accident on a vast stretch of water-covered land, Lopez has a kooky fantasy: She imagines that she is an assembly-line worker at the “Heart Factory,” where her and a group a women keep a huge mechanical ticker beating by feeding it flower petals. “This Is Me… Now” is never aesthetically realistic, per se, but some parts clearly take place in Los Angeles and New York, while others turn into a “Mad Max: Fury Road” perfume ad. You just never know. On the rebound in the sort-of-real world, she starts dating an angry “New Guy,” who punches the walls of her home — which, not giving a damn about subtlety, is a glass box — and keeps her attached to him using an even less subtle rope. When that courtship crumbles, the Artist moves on again. During a wedding dance, J.Lo marries three guys in a Bollywood-y montage. Part of the fun of watching “This Is Me… Now” is playing a game of “Name That Ex.” Is that dude Ojani Noa, Cris Judd or Marc Anthony? After all her marriages collapse, one fling she drags home with a bottle of booze is a dead ringer for Casper Smart. It’s that misguided hookup with a far younger man that leads her pals to stage an intervention. “We think you might be a sex addict,” says one. “Or a relationship addict,” chimes in another. “Running from one relationship to the next.” Those blunt bombshells, and the prodding of her therapist played by Fat Joe, results in her attending “Love Addicts Anonymous” — the hits, they keep on coming! — where she performs a moving number called “Broken Like Me” in a gymnasium. Lopez’s dancing, and all of the vigorous ensemble choreography, is fabulous throughout. And the $20 million production looks snazzier than your average Marvel movie these days. The “Singin’ In The Rain”-inspired finale is a heart-warmer. But the star is really Lopez’s brain, and how she earnestly determined that the best way to tell the story of the past thirty years would be to have Kim Petras and Post Malone play talking constellations. And for the life of Jenny from the Block, that was the right call. 'This Is Me... Now: A Love Story' review: Jennifer Lopez's tell-all... NYPOST.COM J.Lo has delivered an over-the-top song-and-dance camptacular.

For some reason, your post gave me a feeling of deja vu Posted November 25, 2022 Christmas is around the corner — and who wouldn’t want to celebrate the holidays in an actual gingerbread house made entirely out of Pop-Tarts? On Zillow, an off-the-market home described as the Pop-Tarts Gingerbread Lodge at 1 Kellogg’s Square has been listed. And it looks, well, delicious. The only problem? It’s probably meant for one of Santa’s little helpers. Spanning a tiny 35 square feet, Pop-Tarts described the home as “just north of the Wild Berry Woods in the foothills of the Applefritterlachians.” The pantry-style farmhouse features “frosted finishings” and “a toasty interior,” the listing notes. Features include a baked kitchen and living room with a frosted chocolate-chip archway. To celebrate their limited-edition gingerbread Pop-Tarts flavor, the company has featured the home on the real estate site. According to the listing, the home features built-in frosted raspberry cabinets, with frosted cookies-and-creme counter space. The living room comes with a “crafted Eggo Frosted Maple Flavor” area rug with mid-century modern Frosted Chocolate Fudge furnishings, the listing adds. It also comes with frosted gingerbread Pop-Tarts above the fireplace, posing as an art piece. The bedroom features Frosted Apple Fritter wallpaper and a sun-drenched reading nook, which “looks out on all .0006 acres of property,” the listing says. It “is fit for a full-on party that is anything but cookie-cutter,” the listing jokes. “This pastoral palace has to be seen – and tasted – to be believed.”

I liked the pecan danish ring my parents would often bring for 'coffee and' (pronounced Coffee Ann; I always wondered if Coffee Ann's surname was Entenmann) when we went to people's houses.

They had one on Queens Blvd until a few years ago; it was replaced by a 7 story apartment building. I used to stop in whenever I was passing by. I used to LOVE the blueberry cheese danish. They stopped making it decades ago. Oddly, I found one a few years later in the daily delivery to a convenience store near me & bought it - it was just as orgasmic as remembered, but, sadly, I've never seen one again.

Dear Abby: I’ve always been close to my children, but now that they are adults, it seems I’m losing my connection with one of them. He married a girl of a different race, and while that doesn’t bother me BECAUSE I’VE MANAGED TO AVOID MY FRIENDS FINDING OUT, I have a strong hunch she’s the reason he has distanced himself from not only me, but also the rest of the family. BECAUSE IT COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE THE HOSTILITY THAT SEEPS OUT OF MY PORES When I recently shared with him that I felt his wife is a bit of a busybody and had overstepped some boundaries, he told me he no longer wants a relationship with me. I don’t think BEING A BUSYBODY WHO HAD OVERSTEPPED SOME BOUNDARIES WAS anything so bad that he’d totally remove himself from my or our lives, but I’m no longer going to try to force him to be a part of this family. LUCKY HIM!!! After I blocked his wife from social media (because she doesn’t interact, but stalks and then reports back to him), he has blocked me. I’m usually good at dealing with conflict, but he’s steadily drawing further and further away. I love all my children, but he needs to realize it’s not ALL about his wife — we’re his family, too. I really need help with this one. MORE THAN YOU KNOW HONEY, MORE THAN YOU KNOW!— Adult’s Mom Dear Adult’s Mom RACIST BITCH: Leaving your daughter-in-law and her race out of this for a moment IS A COP-OUT, the situation you have described is one that sometimes SHOULD happens when a son gets married. When that happens, the young man’s allegiance switches from mom and family to his wife. Your daughter-in-law reviewing your posts and discussing them with your son isn’t outrageous, particularly if he isn’t viewing them himself. Were you posting something she found hurtful or offensive? If the answer is no, you may have to accept that, for whatever reason, your son has decided to move in a different direction. If the answer is yes, offer an apology and see if it’s possible to bury the hatchet. ARE A MOTHER IN LAW FROM HELL WHOSE PERCEPTION IS WRONG. Dear Abby: My husband of 30 years and I are in-house separated. We sleep in separate bedrooms. I want a divorce, but he refuses to leave, even though he could afford another house. Our grown son came to visit recently and was staying in our camper in our backyard. The camper is next to our swimming pool. Last Sunday, I looked out the kitchen window and saw my husband standing in the pool naked. Our son was in the camper at the time and came out to see his father standing there. When I asked my husband why he did this, my question was met with rage and yelling that he didn’t want to get his bathing suit wet. Don’t you think this is the behavior of a depraved person? — Finished in Florida Dear Finished: For your son to have seen his father naked in the swimming pool isn’t what is cause for concern. More alarming is that a change in his usual behavior may indicate a mental or emotional problem and calls for a medical evaluation. (He might be more open to it if your SON suggests it.) Please consult an attorney and ask what would be involved if you were to go through with that divorce. Get those answers now, before a crisis happens. NO, I THINK IT’S THE BEHAVIOR OF A MORON TO HAVE TO WRITE TO ME TO FIGURE OUT THAT HER HUSBAND IS LOSING IT. DEAR READERS: On this day that celebrates love, I want you to know how much I value the relationship I have with you. Wishing all of you a Happy Valentine’s Day! CONSISTENT INCOME THIS COLUMN HAD PROVIDED MY FAMILY FOR 70 YEARS — WITH LOVE, ABBY

Peacock is expanding its slate of scripted originals… and enlisting a Marvel superstar and a SUBWAY spokesman to help. The streamer has handed straight-to-series orders to four new scripted projects, TVLine has learned, including a sci-fi thriller starring Simu Liu (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and a mockumentary starring SUBWAY spokesman Stephen Curry. The untitled Simu Liu series, with James Wan (The Conjuring, Aquaman) on board as an executive producer, is set “five minutes in the future” and stars Liu as an intelligence analyst who “realizes his brain has been hacked, giving the perpetrators access to everything he sees and hears,” per the official synopsis. “Caught between his shadowy agency and the unknown hackers, he must maintain a performance 24/7 to flush out who’s responsible and prove where his allegiance lies.” Mr. Throwback, from Happy Endings creator David Caspe, stars Adam Pally as a “down-on-his-luck memorabilia dealer” who “looks for redemption by reuniting with his sixth-grade teammate, NBA legend Steph Curry.” Curry will play himself in the comedy and serve as an EP as well. (The series was originally in development at NBC before moving to Peacock.) Also ordered to series at Peacock: Devil in Disguise: John Wayne Gacy, a scripted take on the infamous serial killer with Dr. Death’s Patrick Macmanus serving as writer and showrunner; and All Her Fault, a suburban thriller based on the bestselling novel about a mom who goes to pick up her son from a playdate with a new friend and finds that her son is missing.

Molly Shannon has been added to the 4th season cast. I'm guessing I'll find her character annoying. I often do, & given the series' propensity for having characters that annoy me even though I love it, that's probably a safe bet. You mean like when the suspect was in a restaurant in 'the Bronx' & the scene was shot on Queens Blvd?

big surprise

William “Bill” Post — the man who created the beloved toaster treat Pop-Tarts — died on Saturday, his family announced. He was 96. Post, a Michigan native and son of immigrants who worked his way up from a truck washer to a senior vice president, brightened millions of Americans’ mornings with the sweet pastry that hit the shelves in 1964. The great-grandfather is often credited with inventing the breakfast treat, though he would always say it was a team effort, according to his obituary. Post was raised in Grand Rapids as one of seven children of Dutch immigrants. He married his high school sweetheart, Florence Schut, and served in the Army Air Corps in occupied Japan. At the age of just 16, Post got a part-time gig washing trucks at Hekman Biscuit Company — what would eventually become the Keebler Company. Five years later he rose to the full-time position of personnel manager “but assisted with sales, production, or anything else that he could learn,” his loved ones wrote in his obit. Some 20 years later when Post was the plant manager of Hekman, he welcomed executives from Kellogg’s who asked Hekman/Keebler to develop a product they had in mind. This product would become the Pop-Tart — which is available in nearly every grocery store and supermarket in the US today. Post did numerous interviews about his invention during his lifetime and every time he said the credit was shared. “Bill would say, ‘I assembled an amazing team that developed Kellogg’s concept of a shelf-stable toaster pastry into a fine product that we could bring to market in the span of just four months,’,” his death notice states. He often shared the story of the Pop-Tart with younger generations, hoping to inspire them while always giving out samples of his invention. Post’s story of the four-month challenge to invent the Pop-Tart has inspired a Netflix film that is scheduled to be released in May. The movie “Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story” is written and directed by Jerry Seinfeld, who is starring in it alongside a host of big-name comedians.