Jump to content

samhexum

Members
  • Posts

    14,078
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by samhexum

  1. An American missionary travels to a remote island in the South Pacific. Upon arriving, he is greeted by jubilant tribesmen and dancing hula girls, all chanting a song whose chorus contains the syllable "foo" repeated over and over. The tribal chieftain tells the missionary that he is just in time for the "Foo Festival," a traditional time of homage and respect for a local bird which is revered as a powerful, godlike being. The missionary smiles and nods at the myths of these simple people, and asks to learn more about the Foo Bird. The chief says that the bird, although small, is known for its copious feces. In fact, the chief points out, the whole island is encrusted with dried Foo doo. It is considered to be a great honor for the Foo Bird to fly above your domicile and bless your roof with his droppings. The Foo Bird's excrement brings good fortune and blessings to all the people, and it would be a sin to disturb the piles of Foo poo that have accumulated everywhere. The missionary is a bit disconcerted by this strange belief, and he begins to say something when he hears a tiny "chirp!" and a blob of avian doody lands on his shoulder. He looks up to see that above him flaps the Foo Bird, ready to drop another load. Disgusted, the missionary takes out his handkerchief and wipes away the Foo feces. He drops dead on the spot. The chief looks at down him sadly and says, "Truly it is written: If the Foo shits, wear it!"
  2. True. Unless they give a HUGE discount to former employees at the place she worked at for awhile in season 2. BTW: From IMDb. Johnny Galecki was first introduced as “Kevin Healy”, but immediately became “David” from his second appearance on. The reason for this was that Johnny was appearing on another show at the time with the character name of “David”, which is what Roseanne Barr wanted to call him. Broadcasting rules at the time prevented an actor from appearing on two different, non-related shows using the same name (unless it was their real/stage name). By the time Johnny made his second appearance on the show, his other job had ended, and they were free to call his character “David Healy”, as originally intended. Roseanne later makes an in-joke in reference to this situation, when she is arguing with Dan and says, “David’s not even his real name! Darlene made it up!” I remember her making that joke at the time and I didn’t get it. Now I know.
  3. You can hide a body more easily in a duffle bag. Or so I've heard.
  4. The season finale is tonight. Also-- I'm curious: In the original series, Johnny Galecki's first appearance was as Mark's younger brother Kevin. Two episodes later he made his first appearance as Mark's younger brother David. Did anyone ever read an explanation for why David's identical twin brother was never mentioned again?
  5. http://www.zingerbug.com/Comments/glitter_graphics/anal_retentive_joke.gif
  6. The teen who plead guilty to starting last year's destructive Eagle Creek Fire has been ordered to pay roughly $36.6 million to cover damages caused by the blaze, CBS affiliate KOIN-TV reports. The boy, who was 15 at the time, said he started the fire by throwing a lit firecracker into the woods in September. District Judge John Olson issued his decision Monday after a lawyer for the teen argued that the cost of restitution was "absurd." Olson said his judgment does not violate the constitution and is "clearly proportionate to the offense" because "it does not exceed the financial damages caused by the youth." The fire burned more than 48,000 acres of forest land. Eleven requests for restitution totaling $36,618,330.24 were submitted to the court, covering the costs of firefighting, repair and restoration to the gorge and damage to homes. The restitution is solely the responsibility of the teen, not his parents, who came to the U.S. from Ukraine in 2000. The court acknowledged that the teen would not be able to pay the full judgement and will allow him to establish a payment plan. After 10 years, the court may grant a full or partial halt of the restitution if the teen completes probation and doesn't commit any additional offenses. In February, the teen pleaded guilty to eight counts of reckless burning of public and private property, two counts of depositing burning materials on forest land, and one count each of second-degree criminal mischief and reckless endangerment of others -- all misdemeanors. Olson sentenced him to more than two and a half months of community service and five years of probation, The Oregonian/OregonLive reported at the time. After pleading guilty to February, the teen apologized in court asking for forgiveness. "I know I will have to live with his bad decision for the rest of my life, but I have learned from this experience and will work hard to help rebuild the community in any way that I can," he said. "I now realize how important it is to think before acting because my actions can have serious consequences."
  7. I'm not that skilled at carpentry, nor would I have the money for new supplies every day. I've had the same bed for years and haven't made (or bought) one in a long time.
  8. The most recent episode was a good one. Genevieve & John Gidding did nice work. Hers was an especially impressive makeover of a large room for <$2K.
  9. A man intentionally rammed a vehicle into a North Carolina restaurant busy with a lunchtime crowd Sunday, killing his daughter and another person and injuring several others, authorities said Sunday. Bessemer City Police said in a statement that preliminary evidence indicates the man purposely drove into the Surf and Turf Lodge about noon Sunday. Footage from the scene showed emergency crews treating people on the ground outside the restaurant as shocked patrons milled about afterward. Killed was 26-year-old Katelyn Tyler Self, the daughter of the driver, a Gaston County Sheriff’s Office deputy. Authorities haven’t released the name of the second person who died. Police said the driver, Roger Self, was arrested after the car had smashed its way fully inside into the restaurant in Bessemer City, about 30 miles (50 kilometers) west of Charlotte. Authorities did not immediately make clear what charges Self faces though authorities said they were opening a homicide investigation. The Gaston Gazette identified Roger Self as a businessman from Dallas, North Carolina. Charlotte-Mecklenburg police spokesman Rob Tufano called the crash a “mass casualty” incident, and reports said some of the victims were flown by helicopter to Carolinas Medical Center. There was no immediate report on the number of injured people or the severity of their injuries. “He drove his car into the building, killing people, so that’s why we took him into custody immediately,” Bessemer City Police Chief Thomas Ellis Jr. said. Photographs taken at the scene showed a shattered opening in a restaurant wall, where the car had smashed inside the building. The Gaston Gazette reported that wait staff said Self had initially taken his family into the restaurant and had them seated. He then went back out to his vehicle and drove at a high rate of speed into the area where they were sitting, they said. The newspaper identified the vehicle as a sports utility vehicle. Katelyn Self was a four-year veteran of the Gaston County Sheriff’s Office, Sheriff Alan Cloninger told The Charlotte Observer. She worked as a corporal in the jail and was off duty when she was killed. Cloninger choked up as he spoke about the crash. “We’re suffering a little bit right now,” he said. A 2017 profile in the Gazette said Roger Self ran a private investigations business called Southeastern Loss Management. It said the business opened in 1989 and mostly helped companies investigate employees’ wrongdoing.
  10. Yes, but is it necessary to spend $1000+ on a new washer & dryer just so you can start it with your phone? You need to load them & add detergent/fabric softener anyway, so you're already standing there. That's why the woman in the commercial needs intensive therapy. You know within the next few nanoseconds, somebody will come up with a robot that WILL do all that.
  11. Have faith... perhaps some day you'll find a guy...
  12. Snuka was indicted and arrested in September 2015 on third-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter charges, in relation to the May 1983 death of his girlfriend, Nancy Argentino. Snuka pleaded not guilty, but was ultimately found unfit to stand trial in June 2016 due to being diagnosed with dementia. As his health declined, the charges were dismissed on January 3, 2017. He died twelve days later. yeah, what a loss!
  13. A former professional wrestler was savagely beaten by six men outside his home in a dispute over a parking space. Ex-WWE star Tom Magee, 59, was left with a broken jaw, broken eye socket and a concussion in the attack on his driveway. The violent incident happened Tuesday outside his Mar Vista home in Los Angeles. Pictures of the scene show blood splattered on the pavement, where the gang of young men viciously kicked and punched Magee. Kendall Noxxel, a friend of the former bodybuilder, told CBS News: “Tom came and encountered the young men, and it proceeded to a fight. “It was sort of a conflict over who was allowed to park in this spot.” She said the attackers fled when neighbors came outside upon hearing the commotion. Magee was found incoherent and was taken to a hospital to treat his injuries. He has since been released and is recovering at home. A neighbor said: “To me, it was attempted murder. If we wouldn’t have come out here I don’t know if he would be alive. “If you saw his face right now and saw what they were doing to him, he’s really lucky to be alive.” Two men have been arrested in connection with the attacked. The Los Angeles Police Department detained Justin Lee, 20, and Degrate Byrant, 20, on Thursday. Both men were charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Magee is a Canadian champion power lifter who made a name for himself in the ring. In his heyday in the 1980s, Magee weighed in at a hefty 265 pounds and towering at 6-foot-5. His career took off when he fought in the WWF — now WWE — and placed second in the 1982 World’s Strongest Man competition. One of his notable wins was against Bret “The Hitman” Hart.
  14. Maybe my carnivorous diet is clouding my brain, but I don't follow... you were talking to a vegan and she said "OMG - don't ever let someone talk you into becoming vegan or vegetarian. The diet will kill you." ? What was her name? Sylvia Plath?
  15. Equinox gym let men have orgies in steam room: suit The men’s steam rooms at Equinox gyms are such a hotbed of lust, one Manhattan outpost let its members hold orgies there, a lawsuit claims. A man who complained after a masturbating stranger allegedly laid a hand on him during a steam said he heard the orgy claim from a manager in October. He’s one of five men who banded together in a new class-action lawsuit against Equinox, claiming the gym ignores “the reprehensible conduct occurring in [its] steam rooms.” Twice in three days, the 34-year-old marketing rep, identified as R.S. in the suit, got more than expected when he went in for a steam at the Columbus Circle location. “The next thing I know I feel a hand on my thigh and I jump up and I say, ‘What the hell!’ and there’s one guy sitting there masturbating and the guy who touched me was masturbating as well,” he told The Post. He told a locker room attendant, but R.S. saw the handsy man working out the next day, he said. When he encountered more masturbating males on his next steam, he escalated his complaint. A manager mentioned the Thursday night orgies, where a clique took over the steam room. Equinox has “done nothing to correct the problem,” said R.S.’ attorney, Marc Held. The gym revokes the memberships of those accused of lewd behavior, an Equinox spokeswoman claimed. R.S. decided to join the Manhattan Supreme Court case after another man spoke to The Post in April about encountering masturbation in Equinox’s steam rooms. “I am as gay as they come. It’s not about gay or straight, it’s about right and wrong,” R.S. said.
  16. Equinox gym let men have orgies in steam room: suit The men’s steam rooms at Equinox gyms are such a hotbed of lust, one Manhattan outpost let its members hold orgies there, a lawsuit claims. A man who complained after a masturbating stranger allegedly laid a hand on him during a steam said he heard the orgy claim from a manager in October. He’s one of five men who banded together in a new class-action lawsuit against Equinox, claiming the gym ignores “the reprehensible conduct occurring in [its] steam rooms.” Twice in three days, the 34-year-old marketing rep, identified as R.S. in the suit, got more than expected when he went in for a steam at the Columbus Circle location. “The next thing I know I feel a hand on my thigh and I jump up and I say, ‘What the hell!’ and there’s one guy sitting there masturbating and the guy who touched me was masturbating as well,” he told The Post. He told a locker room attendant, but R.S. saw the handsy man working out the next day, he said. When he encountered more masturbating males on his next steam, he escalated his complaint. A manager mentioned the Thursday night orgies, where a clique took over the steam room. Equinox has “done nothing to correct the problem,” said R.S.’ attorney, Marc Held. The gym revokes the memberships of those accused of lewd behavior, an Equinox spokeswoman claimed. R.S. decided to join the Manhattan Supreme Court case after another man spoke to The Post in April about encountering masturbation in Equinox’s steam rooms. “I am as gay as they come. It’s not about gay or straight, it’s about right and wrong,” R.S. said.
  17. Equinox gym let men have orgies in steam room: suit The men’s steam rooms at Equinox gyms are such a hotbed of lust, one Manhattan outpost let its members hold orgies there, a lawsuit claims. A man who complained after a masturbating stranger allegedly laid a hand on him during a steam said he heard the orgy claim from a manager in October. He’s one of five men who banded together in a new class-action lawsuit against Equinox, claiming the gym ignores “the reprehensible conduct occurring in [its] steam rooms.” Twice in three days, the 34-year-old marketing rep, identified as R.S. in the suit, got more than expected when he went in for a steam at the Columbus Circle location. “The next thing I know I feel a hand on my thigh and I jump up and I say, ‘What the hell!’ and there’s one guy sitting there masturbating and the guy who touched me was masturbating as well,” he told The Post. He told a locker room attendant, but R.S. saw the handsy man working out the next day, he said. When he encountered more masturbating males on his next steam, he escalated his complaint. A manager mentioned the Thursday night orgies, where a clique took over the steam room. Equinox has “done nothing to correct the problem,” said R.S.’ attorney, Marc Held. The gym revokes the memberships of those accused of lewd behavior, an Equinox spokeswoman claimed. R.S. decided to join the Manhattan Supreme Court case after another man spoke to The Post in April about encountering masturbation in Equinox’s steam rooms. “I am as gay as they come. It’s not about gay or straight, it’s about right and wrong,” R.S. said.
  18. http://synd.imgsrv.uclick.com/comics/cl/2018/cl180520.jpg
  19. DEAR ABBY: I'm almost 20, in my second year of college, and I have never been in a relationship. Usually I shrug it off, but lately it has been really bothering me. I know I'm not alone because a lot of my friends are in a similar situation. I'm just afraid that I'll end up alone, or if I do ever find someone, I won't know how to act. Please help. — FRUSTRATED IN CLOVIS, CALIF. DEAR FRUSTRATED: I'll try, so bear with me. Please quit flogging yourself. Unless you're into that sort of thing; in that case, hire a dominatrix. You're in college and on a path to success. Great, Abby... now if he's flunking out he'll be suicidal! To obsess about ending up alone is a distraction and a waste of time. Just give in and accept it already. Stop being afraid of what "might" happen. Enjoy your college experience. Meet as many people as you can and make friends let them know you'll do anything with/to anyone who so much as smiles at you. The more friends you have, the greater your chances of finding what you're looking for. And possibly something you're not looking for... always wear a condom! As to not knowing how to act when you finally meet someone special, I guarantee that you will know how to act because you WON'T BE ACTING. You will just be yourself, and that will be all you need. Plus a roll of $50s and/or a pocket full of GHB.
  20. DEAR ABBY: I'm almost 20, in my second year of college, and I have never been in a relationship. Usually I shrug it off, but lately it has been really bothering me. I know I'm not alone because a lot of my friends are in a similar situation. I'm just afraid that I'll end up alone, or if I do ever find someone, I won't know how to act. Please help. — FRUSTRATED IN CLOVIS, CALIF. DEAR FRUSTRATED: I'll try, so bear with me. Please quit flogging yourself. Unless you're into that sort of thing; in that case, hire a dominatrix. You're in college and on a path to success. Great, Abby... now if he's flunking out he'll be suicidal! To obsess about ending up alone is a distraction and a waste of time. Just give in and accept it already. Stop being afraid of what "might" happen. Enjoy your college experience. Meet as many people as you can and make friends let them know you'll do anything with/to anyone who so much as smiles at you. The more friends you have, the greater your chances of finding what you're looking for. And possibly something you're not looking for... always wear a condom! As to not knowing how to act when you finally meet someone special, I guarantee that you will know how to act because you WON'T BE ACTING. You will just be yourself, and that will be all you need. Plus a roll of $50s and/or a pocket full of GHB.
×
×
  • Create New...