samhexum

Poop has been mysteriously raining from the sky in Canada, leaving cars “inundated” with crap, steamed drivers say. The literal s—tstorm happened May 9 and 12 in Kelowna, British Columbia, according to Global News. Susan Allen and her son Travis Sweet were stopped at a red light when they were splattered with the flying feces, which dropped through an open sunroof. “While we were sitting there, our car was inundated with liquid poo falling from the sky,” she said. Sweet said he felt something cold smack the side of his face – “then the smell hit my nose.” “I almost vomited instantly. It was terrible,” Sweet recalled. Allen, meanwhile, burst into tears. “It smelled so bad that my stomach got ill,” she said. The fecal phenomenon left Allen with a swollen eye – and she believes an overhead passenger plane is to blame. “We [saw] the airplane flying over,” she said. “We watched the stuff fall from the sky.” Government agency Transport Canada is investigating the incident. “Each air operator is responsible for ensuring that their aircraft operate safely and in compliance with the Canadian Aviation Regulations,” Transport Canada spokesperson Daniel Savoie said. Those regulations say “no person shall create a hazard to persons or property on the surface by dropping an object from an aircraft in flight.” Kelowna International Airport said it received a complaint over the crap but added that there was no aircraft flying in the area at the time. Still, Allen wants to hold someone accountable. “My car was inundated with poo. I would like them to clean my car out,” she griped. “An apology would be nice, and I do believe they owe me some compensation for my eye.” Meanwhile, three days after Allen’s runny run-in, Brett Yates discovered that his car was struck by crap while parked in his driveway, according to Global News. His neighbor’s vehicle was also covered. Yates lives near the area of the first incident.

A Vietnam veteran who “gave his life” while trying to save others as a car sped through a youth baseball game in Maine had previously confessed to being on the other side of the wheel of a deadly accident – a decades-old hit-and-run that left a 4-year-old girl dead, police said. Douglas Parkhurst was killed trying to shield the kids when Carol Sharrow, 51, mowed him down after driving onto the field at Goodall Park in Sanford on Friday during the fifth inning of a Babe Ruth League game, cops and witnesses said. Witnesses said Parkhurst – a grandfather who told cops he was behind the wheel of a car that fatally struck little Carolee Ashby in New York in 1968 – tried to shut a gate to stop the crazed driver, but was hit and killed. Carolee’s family said the irony of his death was lost on no one. “I am overwhelmed by it all,” the girl’s sister, Darlene Ashby McCann told the Portland Press-Herald. “He left us all these years with nothing, not even an ‘I’m sorry.'” McCann said her family struggled for 44 years over the unsolved killing of Carolee until a tip led Parkhurst to confess in 2013, telling police he was behind the wheel of the 1962 Buick that cut the little girl down in Fulton, New York. Parkhurst died on his way to the hospital shortly after he was struck last week. “It feels it has made a full circle,” she told the newspaper. “Now I am relieved. I truly am. The same thing that happened to my sister happened to him. It made a complete circle. Now it is time to move on.” Parkhurst tried to shut a gate so Sharrow wouldn’t be able to drive off. Parkhurst, of West Newfield, later died on the way to a hospital. No other injuries were reported. Reps from the Sanford Maine Little League, meanwhile, praised Parkhurst for springing into action when Sharrow drove onto the field. “We want to share our heartfelt gratitude that physically all of the players from Babe Ruth and Little League are safe and our deep sorrow to the family of the brave man that gave his life tonight protecting others,” league officials posted on Facebook. The death of Ashby – who flew 133 feet through the air after being struck while walking on a road with her older sister on Halloween in 1968 – went unsolved until 2013. That’s when Parkhurst was met at his then-home in Oswego, New York, by two investigators from the Fulton (New York) Police Department, according to the Press Herald. Parkhurst was never charged in the girl’s death because the statute of limitations had expired, but signed a four-page confession after two interviews with investigators. In the confession, Parkhurst said he and his brother had been drinking before hitting Ashby with his car as his brother was sleeping in the back seat. “I know in my heart and I am 99.9 percent sure I hit that little girl with my 1962 tan Buick Special,” Parkhurst wrote, according to the Press Herald, citing a series of articles by the Post-Standard in Syracuse. “I am oh so sorry. I can’t change anything but I hope this apology will be accepted and I beg for forgiveness.” Sanford Police Det. Sgt. Matthew Jones said they found no connection between Sharrow and Parkhurst and that they were “complete strangers.” “Mr. Parkhurst appears to be the victim of circumstance of being where he was when he was,” Jones told The Post. “It’s probably one of the most unusual set of circumstances that I’ve ever come across. There seems to be a lot of coincidences in this case, which is certainly of the strangest I’ve seen.” Sharrow cooperated with investigators after being taken into custody, Jones said. He declined to indicate what she said. Sharrow, who has been charged with manslaughter, was ordered held on $500,000 bail during her initial court appearance Monday. She did not enter a plea, WMTW reports. Police told the Press Herald that Sharrow has two previous drunken driving convictions, including one for aggravated drunken driving in New Hampshire. Investigators declined to indicate whether alcohol was involved in Friday’s fatal incident.

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An 18-year-old Columbus, Ga., teen will spend the next five years in prison, plus 10 years on probation, after stealing a pair of Nike sneakers when he was 15. Dayonn Davis took the shoes from the unsuspecting owner who tried to sell them on Facebook. But despite the fact that he has no prior criminal record, Judge Bobby Peters handed down the stiff sentence. “I don’t get that,” Peters said while sentencing the teen for robbery this week. “Must be some valuable shoes.” Those “valuable shoes” were a pair of Nike Oreos that sometimes come with a price tag of more than $100. Davis made contact with the owner after seeing them for sale on Facebook and arranged to meet on Jan. 17, 2016, according to prosecutor Sadhana Dailey. Another young man came with Davis to the meeting, where Davis asked to try on the shoes. After finding out that they fit, Davis apparently told the owner, “These shoes is took.” That’s when things further escalated, with Davis’ companion pulling a pistol out. Everyone ran. However, Columbus police tracked down the then-young teen and found the stolen shoes in his closet. Davis originally refused to name the person he was with, but eventually he did. The victim, however, could not identify that suspect when shown a photo lineup. Defense attorney Susan Henderson attempted to plead on Davis’ behalf, saying that the teen wanted to put the matter behind him and move on. “He’s been extremely remorseful,” she said. “He’s got his life on track now.” Henderson noted that Davis was charged as an adult in the crime but also had no previous juvenile record. She also noted that her client had been an A and B student at Kendrick High School before his grades dropped after his arrest, and she maintained that he had no idea the guy with him would pull a gun. “I was young at the time, so I wasn’t in my right mind,” Davis told the judge. Peters was not buying the excuses. “Maybe he’s the wrong person,” the judge said of Davis, emphasizing that whether or not Davis intended for anyone to pull a gun, he had obviously intended to take the shoes, since he had been the one who set up the meeting. “He’s the one with the shoes in his closet.”

A Georgia family has been torn apart after authorities placed a 15-year-old teen in a group home following a tip from his therapist that his parents gave him marijuana in an effort to control his seizures. David Brill, whose parents Suzeanna and Matthew spent six days in jail after their arrest, allegedly suffers from near-constant seizures. The couple maintains that marijuana kept him seizure-free for 71 days, until Twiggs County sheriff’s deputies knocked on their door and told them to stop. The couple said they obliged, only for Brill’s seizures to return just hours later. “Within 14 hours of complying we were rushing our son to the hospital,” Suzeanna Brill told The New York Times. “And it was one of the most horrific seizures I’ve ever seen.” In April, Brill was taken into custody by the state Department of Family and Children Services following an order from a juvenile court judge. He has been separated from his service dog, and is only allowed to communicate with his parents through phone calls and short visits, 13WMAZ.com reported. In early May, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal signed a bill that adds PTSD and intractable pain to a list of medical conditions that are eligible to be treated with cannabis oil. Late-stage cancer patients and those suffering from seizure disorders are also eligible to seek cannabis oil treatment, but state law still bans growing, buying or transporting marijuana. “Marijuana is still illegal to possess or use in the state of Georgia,” Twiggs County Sheriff Darren Mitchum said Thursday. “That includes allowing or giving it to children to ingest or smoke.” But the Brills said they were just doing what any parent would to save their son, and that they would do it again if it meant bettering his health. “Nothing else was working,” Suzeanna Brill told 13WMAZ. “I can’t have my kid dying because no one wants to listen.” The Brills have started a GoFundMe page to help pay for a lawyer and move to a state where marijuana is legal.

The "Rally Goose" has, indeed, been set loose after a short stay in a veterinary hospital. The goose, which ultimately crashed into a Comerica Park scoreboard after being chased from the field by members of the Detroit Tigers grounds crew during a rain delay Wednesday, was released into the wild Friday in East Lansing, Michigan. Dr. Catherine Roach, a veterinarian who was attending the game and helped to take care of the goose after its hard hit and fall, threw out the pitch before Thursday's game. The Tigers also have taken flight since the incident, placing a decoy in the dugout and adopting the #RallyGoose mantra. After rallying for five runs after the incident to win Wednesday's game, the Tigers have tacked on two more wins heading into Saturday's game.

A Brazilian woman, born without a vagina, has become the first in the world to undergo pioneering reconstructive surgery that successfully created a new vaginal canal using the skin of tilapia fish. Researchers at the Federal University of Ceara (UFC) in northeast Brazil, led by gynecologist Dr. Leonardo Bezerra, revealed the unprecedented procedure, called a neovaginoplasty, was performed on Jucilene Marinho, 23, in April 2017. The unorthodox treatment is faster, cheaper and less aggressive than the conventional method used for sufferers of Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH), a rare congenital disorder that affects approximately one in 5,000 newborn girls and results in the absence of some or all of the female reproductive organs. The revolutionary treatment involves opening a space between the vagina (I think they mean the bladder, given what's quoted later in the article) and anus and inserting a tubular mold lined with the skin of the freshwater fish. Once in contact with the patient’s body, tilapia skin acts like stem cells and is absorbed and transformed into cellular tissue forming the walls of the canal, similar to that of an actual vagina. Before being used, the fish skin undergoes a special cleaning and sterilization process in the lab followed by irradiation to kill viruses. The process removes all the scales and fish smell and results in a light-colored gel dressing that can be stored for up to two years in refrigerated sterile packaging. An ecstatic Marinho spoke for the first time to FocusOn News about how the ground-breaking surgery has changed her life and made her feel like “a proper woman” who now enjoys a healthy sex life. Research shows that tilapia skin, normally thrown away as a waste product, contains large amounts of moisture and is rich in collagen type 1, a protein that promotes healing. It is disease resistant and as strong and resilient as human skin. Since 2015, scientists at the UFC Research and Development of Medicines Nucleus coordinated by Professor Odorico Moraes, have been trialing a radical procedure that uses the moisture-filled skin of the freshwater fish to heal more than 200 victims with severe burns — with notable success. The normal regime is painful and involves regular changes of gauze bandages along with painkillers and ointments. “There was a eureka moment when we thought, if this membrane can be used for burns, why can’t it be used for the vagina,” said Bezerra who began investigating the procedure in January 2016. “To make the ‘new vagina’ we insert a vagina-shaped acrylic mold, lined with the skin of tilapia, into the space created between the bladder and the rectum. The device remains there for 10 days to prevent the walls from closing,” the doctor explained. “During this period the skin of the tilapia is absorbed, and the cells and growth factors released by the membrane transforms, like stem cells, into the patient’s tissue cells. “Finally, the patient’s body completely incorporates the tilapia skin becoming biocompatible with it. The fish skin stimulates cellular growth and the formation of blood vessels and creates a new canal equal to that of an actual vagina,” he continued. After the operation, patients have been able to get up and walk after an average of 12 days of recovery with the mold being replaced with silicone or a sponge for comfort. Under the established procedure, convalescents spend weeks in bed without moving and have to learn to walk again. Marinho suffered minor internal bleeding and was discharged after three weeks in the hospital and admits the moment she left she went out to celebrate. “My family and friends, who have always been there for me, took me out to ‘toast’ my new vagina,” she said laughing. “And it felt so good to have something the majority of women take for granted,” she added with a deep sigh of relief. Doctors are now working towards offering the new treatment in multiple medical centers throughout Brazil and in different locations across the world once clinical studies have been completed and strict protocols established.

Just get a Doberman and keep him hungry.

you mean white noise?

I'm not quite sure if this is a pun, but it made me laugh. Baseball Tweet: Jason Hammel beat Cole Hamels. Or as Christopher Kamka put it on twitter: Singular > plural.

I thought this thread was about that famous soul singer Urethra Franklin.

Been shopping at the thrift store, haven't we?

Rose: [to Sophia] Let me tell you about a lesson I learned when I was a little girl in St. Olaf. If you hold a bird gently, the bird will stay, but if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out. [sophia stares at Rose blankly; Blanche, listening off to the side, looks pained] And Mr. Pet Shop Owner gets very huffy and he won't let you touch the birds anymore. And the mice, he won't even let you...

Honk if you love baseball... A goose was on the loose Wednesday night in Detroit until a scoreboard at Comerica Park intervened. As the Angels and Tigers waited out their second rain delay in the top of the sixth inning, a goose flew onto the outfield grass at Comerica. JaCoby Jones tried, too, taking a swat at the goose with his glove but missing. The goose ultimately took off and began flying out of Comerica. Fans in attendance applauded as the goose made its ascent, with the Fox Sports West telecast saying, "There he goes. He gone. In cruise control now." If only it were that easy. In midair, the goose tried to slam on the breaks when it spotted a big blue scoreboard on its way out of the stadium, but it was too late. The goose slammed into the scoreboard and went crashing into the seats below, as the fans who were cheering seconds earlier exhaled in despair. The good news: The goose turned out OK, getting onto its feet after crashing before being taken away from the seats by a Tigers fan. And the whole situation seemed to inspire the Tigers, who rallied for five runs in the bottom of the sixth inning for a 6-1 win. Afterward, they chalked it up to the #RallyGoose. "My wife would have had a heart attack if she saw that," Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire said. "We're glad the goose is OK. That was not fun to watch when they were chasing him around and he went into the stands; that was scary." As for the charms of the so-called rally goose, Gardenhire said, "I don't know -- we broke up the goose eggs, OK." Angels manager Mike Scioscia laughed when asked about the goose. "They're a beautiful animal," he said. "Looked like me trying to get off the ground with the wings for a while. He had about six inches of altitude, but he finally got up." http://a4.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2018%2F0530%2Fr377925_1296x729_16-9.jpg

A goose was on the loose Wednesday night in Detroit until a scoreboard at Comerica Park intervened. As the Angels and Tigers waited out their second rain delay in the top of the sixth inning, a goose flew onto the outfield grass at Comerica. JaCoby Jones tried, too, taking a swat at the goose with his glove but missing. The goose ultimately took off and began flying out of Comerica. Fans in attendance applauded as the goose made its ascent, with the Fox Sports West telecast saying, "There he goes. He gone. In cruise control now." If only it were that easy. In midair, the goose tried to slam on the breaks when it spotted a big blue scoreboard on its way out of the stadium, but it was too late. The goose slammed into the scoreboard and went crashing into the seats below, as the fans who were cheering seconds earlier exhaled in despair. The good news: The goose turned out OK, getting onto its feet after crashing before being taken away from the seats by a Tigers fan. And the whole situation seemed to inspire the Tigers, who rallied for five runs in the bottom of the sixth inning for a 6-1 win. Afterward, they chalked it up to the #RallyGoose. "My wife would have had a heart attack if she saw that," Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire said. "We're glad the goose is OK. That was not fun to watch when they were chasing him around and he went into the stands; that was scary." As for the charms of the so-called rally goose, Gardenhire said, "I don't know -- we broke up the goose eggs, OK." Angels manager Mike Scioscia laughed when asked about the goose. "They're a beautiful animal," he said. "Looked like me trying to get off the ground with the wings for a while. He had about six inches of altitude, but he finally got up." http://a4.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2018%2F0530%2Fr377925_1296x729_16-9.jpg

A wrestler has been suspended for performing an unsanctioned crazy move that involved setting himself on fire. The shocking incident happened on May 20 at a Philippine Wrestling Revolution show called Wrevolution X. James “Idol” Martinez was the man behind the crazy move that left him racing backstage in search of a fire extinguisher. As footage shows, Martinez set himself alight after pouring lighter fuel over his body while standing on the top rope before leaping, literally in a blaze of glory, down towards his opponents. The stunt went dramatically wrong, and not only did Martinez miss the crossbody attempt, the flames continued to burn his skin afterwards. Seeing his pain, Martinez’s opponents rush to try to put out the fire. But Martinez instead sprints towards the curtain, where staff eventually put him out. It remains unclear how bad the damage was, but a statement from PWR confirmed that Martinez has been suspended. It read: “Philippine Wrestling Revolution would like to officially announce the suspension of James ‘Idol’ Martinez from active competition due to events that transpired during his match at Wrevolution X 2018 last 20 May 2018, which resulted in injuries to Mr. Martinez. “PWR is committed to providing the safest possible environment for its performers, personnel, and audience members. Any factor that could endanger them will be treated with the utmost seriousness and importance. PWR wishes Mr. Martinez a speedy recovery.”

Probably Mrs. street vendor