samhexum

Two episodes in... meh- and meh+ just as uninspired and run-of-the-mill as I found WILL & GRACE to be last year, as well as ROSEANNE.

This is a stupid new sitcom about a group of seniors in a retirement community that wastes the talents of four veterans of better material and has the occasional laugh mixed in among the groans and tumbleweeds.

As a result of keeping hydrated so a hamstring problem can be overcome and he can get back in the Yankees lineup, Aaron Hicks is leaking fluids. Hicks left Game 1 of the ALDS against the Red Sox on Friday night at Fenway with a tight right hamstring and didn’t play in Game 2. He expects to be ready for Monday night’s Game 3 at Yankee Stadium with the best-of-five series tied 1-1. “We have been doing a lot of things. We have been trying to get me hydrated. So every single day I’ve been peeing like crazy, being hydrated,” Hicks said Sunday at Yankee Stadium

I DESPISE THAT COMMERCIAL!!!

As a result of keeping hydrated so a hamstring problem can be overcome and he can get back in the Yankees lineup, Aaron Hicks is leaking fluids. Hicks left Game 1 of the ALDS against the Red Sox on Friday night at Fenway with a tight right hamstring and didn’t play in Game 2. He expects to be ready for Monday night’s Game 3 at Yankee Stadium with the best-of-five series tied 1-1. “We have been doing a lot of things. We have been trying to get me hydrated. So every single day I’ve been peeing like crazy, being hydrated,” Hicks said Sunday at Yankee Stadium

What, no love for Canuckian Thanksgiving? http://wblk.com/files/2013/10/canadian-thanksgiving-turkey1.jpg?w=980&q=75

Not THIS boy. Head over heels means something else to those with good 80s musical taste:

It's playing in England already, and will be coming here next year. I'm surprised that, with Tuna recently being in the news about her new kidney, nobody posted anything about the show. BTW, my favorite musical fish duo of all time was Pike & Tuna Turner.

A sheriff’s deputy with nearly two decades of service in Florida resigned after being arrested for allegedly fondling the genitals of a deputy sheriff trainee, authorities said. Scott Walker, 39, was arrested Friday on charges of sexual battery and false imprisonment after meeting the victim Wednesday in Lakeland to help him with his training, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. Walker, who was working an off-duty detail at the time, was armed when he reached under the trainee’s shorts and underwear and fondled him, setting off a bizarre and frightening series of events, authorities said. “When the victim resisted, Walker pushed him against the wall, then locked the door and turned the lights off,” sheriff officials said in a news release. “The victim immediately started sending text messages to a friend pleading for help.” Walker later allowed the man to leave after becoming concerned that he had contacted someone using his cellphone. Investigators learned of the allegations Thursday, prompting an investigation. Walker, who had been employed by the department for 19 years, was later arrested after being interviewed by investigators. He resigned immediately, sheriff officials said. “We hold people to a higher standard than we do the members of the community,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said in a statement. “Scott is now in jail for his illegal conduct, as he should be.” Walker, according to an investigator’s affidavit obtained by The Ledger, told the trainee that he “owed” him oral sex after helping him learn how to write reports for the agency. The trainee initially ignored the comment, but Walker then began touching him, according to the report. “These crimes are enhanced by the fact that Walker is employed as a deputy sheriff and Walker’s position as a training coordinator made the victim believe that he had influence and authority over his career,” the investigator wrote. Walker initially denied the allegations, saying he had instead “tapped” the trainee’s penis on the outside of his clothing as a joke, although he later used the word “grabbed” to characterize his actions. The pair had also previously communicated on Snapchat. Walker, during one of those conversations, said he was “just ‘messing’ around” with the trainee. Walker, seemingly concerned about whether the chat was private, also told the trainee: “Dude, R u really by yourself.”

My bank account balance is as flaccid as my... well, you know...

None taken. I was kidding. I can feel; I just can't do much about it. I can masturbate about 3 times a week. It takes multiple attempts. The sap rises a little more each time. Some weeks are better than others. It's taken me as long as almost an hour to cum, but when it's that bad, I usually give up in frustration after 30 min or so. (and now you know why I blow off steam by posting here so often ) It's gotten (much) worse as I've gotten older. Being a pothead doesn't help, of course, but it makes me more mellow about my inadequacy.

Don't you get frequent flier discounts?

Braggart

Can't stay hard long enough.

One of the supermarkets I shop at sent me coupons. $5 off $25 in weeks 1 & 3, $2 off meat in week 2, 2 off produce in week 4. FREE: Shadybrook Turkey Burgers week 1 Baby Roy's Barbecue Sauce week 2 KLONDIKE BARS(!) week 3 Kraft Salad Dressing week 4

One of the supermarkets I shop at sent me coupons. $5 off $25 in weeks 1 & 3, $2 off meat in week 2, 2 off produce in week 4. FREE: Shadybrook Turkey Burgers week 1 Baby Roy's Barbecue Sauce week 2 KLONDIKE BARS (!) week 3 Kraft Salad Dressing week 4

Many of the comic strips I post in the "I LOVE A GOOD PUN" thread disappear after awhile, leaving a blank space that shows 'likes' by several people. As an experiment, I deleted one of those posts, and my 'likes' went down by 2 (the # of people who'd liked it). I won't be deleting any others; I've just filled in the blank spaces with

Many of the comic strips I post in the "I LOVE A GOOD PUN" thread disappear after awhile, leaving a blank space that shows 'likes' by several people. As an experiment, I deleted one of those posts, and my 'likes' went down by 2 (the # of people who'd liked it). I won't be deleting any others; I've just filled in the blank spaces with

I've had ED all my life, even before Bob Dole made it fashionable. Finally found out it's because I was born with spinal stenosis at the base of my spine, so the electrical signals don't fully reach my lower half. Viagra doesn't work.