samhexum

and who always wore his pants so tight, his bulge always arrived in a scene a second or two before the rest of him.

Do gays have their own calendar, like the Chinese & Jewish people? If so, does the new year begin on a different date every year like theirs? Just curious, as I've never heard anything about it.

The only thing notable to me is that the tree in the foreground looks almost bare, while the others are fairly lush.

Why do you keep bringing up Magda?

What makes you think I'm expecting to die?

I believe it was there that the escalators down to the platforms were quite long. It might've been Moscow, but I don't think so. I can check the videotape of that trip of I ever get ambitious (which means I won't). Actually, I was never in St Petersburg. It was still Leningrad until a few days after I was there.

When I went to the supermarket at 3:30 AM it was 50 degrees. 16 hours later it's 16 degrees.

Duh! A gag. Or a cock down the throat (which is a different kind of gag).

I just have to drive 30 miles to my sister's. It's supposed to be 26 degrees, but sunny. And she makes a noodle kugel that's worth the drive.

Speaking of questionable math skills, wouldn't that give you three holes to fill?

You're probably wrong about all of this, since your math skills seemed to have lessened a bit over the years as well. If your cock was 7 1/2 inches at 16 and you've lost 20% of your dick in 79 years, that makes you 95 now, and if THAT's true, you'll be 100 in 5 years, so I don't think you'd lose another inch and a quarter in only 5 more years.

Sad enough for you? A French hospital had to pay a man nearly $65,000 after a series of alleged errors resulted in the unnecessary “total removal of his penis,” which left him with “no feeling” in his nether regions. His penile reparations were decided recently by the Administrative Court of Nantes. “I have hatred towards this doctor who did not listen to me,” the unidentified alleged victim told local rag Frenchblue of the purported sexcessive procedure, which occurred in 2014 at the Nantes University Hospital. “He played Russian roulette with me!” The father of three, then aged 30, had been diagnosed with carcinoma, “a cancer that forms in epithelial tissue” that lines most of the person’s organs, per the Cleveland Clinic. In an effort to remedy his condition, the urologist at the hospital attempted to excise as much of the tumor as possible while minimizing the damage to his manhood. Unfortunately, through a series of “faulty breaches,” the cancer metastasized throughout his entire member, per the Administrative Court of Nantes. This caused the patient such “crazy” pain that he said at one point he even contemplated amputating his member himself. “It was my wife who stopped me,” said the Western France native. “I had the cutter, Betadine, and I was preparing my thing in the garage!” Over the years, the tallywacker tumor snowballed to the point that a doctor in Lyon claimed he had no choice but to remove the man’s penis. It was either that or he’d most likely die of the cancer, he said. And so, they decided to literally take the man’s mojo. “Indeed he had removed everything,” the “disgusted” amputee lamented of the allegedly preventable procedure. “He had just left the testicles and had cut at the base.” He added, “I’m really devastated and it’s really shameful.” And while the patient has allegedly learned to adjust via an unspecified coping mechanism, he claimed “you can’t replace a feeling of a penis with several sensors.” The man has since received €‎61,000 ($64,754.86) for “wrongful breaches” that led to “a total removal of the penis,” Frenchblue reported. His lawyer, Me Georges Parastatis, had initially sued for 1 million euros, which the French court rejected. However, he reportedly plans to file an appeal on the grounds that the “psychological damage was not taken into account.” On the bright side, the man’s cancer is finally in remission after years of heavy treatment. https://nypost.com/2022/12/23/man-awarded-65k-after-hospital-wrongfully-removes-penis/

The Giants become the first team to have twins in their bullpen.

So it can be mentioned in a 2nd thread.

I went to ShopRite at 3:30 AM and got some of what I'd had in my S&S order. I cancelled the Saturday order and S&S wound up sending me a one-time coupon code for $20 off my next order, so all is right with the world, I guess.

When Roseanne was married to Tom Arnold and they went on a diet together he told reporters one of the reasons is that his dick was smaller now that he had gained weight. I don't recall his exact wording, but he definitely got the message across.

My stop and shop delivery came right before the End of the scheduled time slot. The only slight problem is that it was delivered to somebody else. So they scheduled me for a re-delivery but the only available time slot was 8 AM on Christmas Eve, when I'm sure everything is going to be in stock.

Christina Haack learned she has mercury and lead poisoning after experiencing “some unexplained health stuff for years.” The “Flip or Flop” alum revealed on Thursday that her test results might stem from all the years she spent renovating old houses. “My scan said I have mercury and lead poisoning,” the 39-year-old wrote on her Instagram Story. “Most likely from all the gross houses I’ve been in (all the bad flips).” The tests also indicated that she has “small intestine bacteria overgrowth.” “So we are first detoxing all of this through herbs and IVs and then [we’ll] see how I feel and tackle implants,” she continued.

Yeah, but I doubt she had the talent exhibited by JLo in her Will & Grace episodes or by Paula Abdul in her Voltaren commercial. When he is ready to retire his identical twin will take over and it will be called Watch What Happens with Sasha Baron Cohen.

This offseason might be annoying me more than last year's, and that's saying something. The disparity in payrolls in MLB & the NBA has really gotten sickening. Oh, Boy! I'm so excited that the Yanks, with a $3 gazillion dollar budget, can make the playoffs. What an accomplishment that will be! And the matter-of-fact tone now taken when discussing $50 million+ salaries in the NBA and $25 million+ in MLB is nauseating in the context of, you know, the real world. It took me 40 games to watch even one inning after the lockout, and then only because the Yanks were off to such a great start. So unless they match the Tigers' 35-5 start from 1984, I think it'll be more of the same this year.

So you're saying she was the Paula Abdul or JLo of her time?

Mazel Tov!

A new federal law requiring that sesame be listed as an allergen on food labels is having unintended consequences — increasing the number of products with the ingredient. Food industry experts said the requirements are so stringent that many manufacturers, especially bakers, find it simpler and less expensive to add sesame to a product — and to label it — than to try to keep it away from other foods or equipment with sesame. As a result, several companies — including national restaurant chains like Olive Garden, Wendy’s and Chick-fil-A and bread makers that stock grocery shelves and serve schools — are adding sesame to products that didn’t have it before. While the practice is legal, consumers and advocates say it violates the spirit of the law aimed at making foods safer for people with allergies. “It was really exciting as a policy advocate and a mom to get these labels,” said Naomi Seiler, a consultant with the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America whose 9-year-old daughter, Zoe, is allergic to sesame. “Instead, companies are intentionally adding the allergen to food.” The new law, which goes into effect Jan. 1, requires that all foods made and sold in the U.S. must be labeled if they contain sesame, which is now the nation’s ninth major allergen. Sesame can be found in obvious places, like sesame seeds on hamburger buns. But it is also an ingredient in many foods from protein bars to ice cream, added to sauces, dips and salad dressings and hidden in spices and flavorings. Advocates for families coping with allergies lobbied for years to have sesame added to the list of major allergens. Congress in 2004 created labeling requirements for eight: milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat and soybeans. More than 1.6 million people in the U.S. are allergic to sesame, some so severe that they need injections of epinephrine, a drug used to treat life-threatening reactions. Cases of sesame allergy have been rising in recent years along with a growing number of foods that contain the ingredient, said Dr. Ruchi Gupta, a pediatrician and director of the Center for Food Allergy & Asthma Research at Northwestern University. “Sesame is in so many things that people don’t really understand,” said Gupta, who called the move to add sesame to products “so disappointing.” “In families that do have a sesame allergy, it is truly challenging,” she said. Under the new law, enforced by the Food and Drug Administration, companies must now explicitly label sesame as an ingredient or separately note that a product contains sesame. In the U.S., ingredients are listed on product packaging in order of amount. Sesame labeling has been required for years in other places, including Canada, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. If the ingredients don’t include sesame, companies must take steps to prevent the foods from coming in contact with any sesame, known as cross-contamination. Food industry experts said the new requirements aren’t simple or practical. “It’s as if we’ve suddenly asked bakers to go to the beach and remove all the sand,” said Nathan Mirdamadi, a consultant with Commercial Food Sanitation, which advises the industry about food safety. Some companies include statements on labels that say a food “may contain” a certain product or that the food is “produced in a facility” that also uses certain allergens. However, such statements are voluntary, not required, according to the FDA, and they do not absolve the company of requirements to prevent cross-contamination. Instead, some companies have taken a different approach. Officials at Olive Garden said that starting this week, the chain is adding “a minimal amount of sesame flour” to the company’s famous breadsticks “due to the potential for cross-contamination at the bakery.” Chick-fil-A has changed its white bun and multigrain brioche buns to include sesame, while Wendy’s said the company has added sesame to its French toast sticks and buns. United States Bakery, which operates Franz Family Bakeries in California and the Northwest, notified customers in March that they would add a small amount of sesame flour to all hamburger and hot dog buns and rolls “to mitigate the risk of any adverse reactions to sesame products.” Although such actions don’t violate the law, the FDA “does not support” them, the agency said in a statement. “It would make it more difficult for sesame allergic customers to find foods that are safe for them to consume,” the statement said. Some large companies previously have added other allergens to products and updated their labels. In 2016, Kellogg’s added traces of peanut flour to some cookies and crackers, prompting protests. That’s frustrating and scary for parents like Kristy Fitzgerald of Crookston, Minnesota. She learned last spring that Pan-O-Gold Baking Co., which supplies breads to schools, health centers and grocery stores across the Midwest, was adding small amounts of sesame to its products, including those served at her daughter’s school. Six-year-old Audrey, in the meantime, has outgrown her allergy to sesame. Bob Huebner, food safety/quality assurance manager for Pan-O-Gold, told Fitzgerald in a string of emails that the company was forced to add sesame to the product and the label. “The unfortunate reality is that our equipment and bakeries are not setup for allergen cleanings that would be required to prevent sesame cross-contamination and was not an option for us,” Huebner wrote in an email to Fitzgerald. Huebner replied to an email from the AP but did not respond to questions about the company’s practices. Fitzgerald started an online petition protesting the move to add sesame. “At some point, someone is going to feed an allergic child sesame,” Fitzgerald said. “It makes me think the laws need to change to show that this is not an acceptable practice.” Fortunately, I don't know anyone affected by this, so it doesn't really matter, but I figured I'd post this in case any of you do. https://nypost.com/2022/12/21/disappointing-allergy-doctors-worry-as-sesame-shows-up-in-more-us-foods/

Hey, braggarts... I saw the London production of A Chorus Line in 1977, which not that many people can say, since it only ran for 3 years across the pond. And I was a 15 year old on my own, since my dad & sister had no interest.

Dansby Swanson's first choice was Atlanta. But the former Braves' shortstop said his second choice was a sentimental one -- because the newest member of the Chicago Cubs used to watch their games with his grandfather, who died just a week ago. "Every time I walked in, he would have the Cubs game on," a slightly teary-eyed Swanson said Wednesday during his introductory news conference at Wrigley Field. "He just loved baseball so much. Being a Cub means more to me than people will realize. It's no secret I left my hometown team to be here." Swanson, an Atlanta native, signed a seven-year, $177 million contract with the Cubs on Wednesday, the second-richest deal in franchise history. The Cubs "blew away" the Braves' offer, according to a source, undoubtedly making the decision to leave Atlanta a little easier. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope that I would be back home," Swanson said. "Atlanta is where I always envisioned myself, especially after I got traded. I'm a homebody, my family is there. There's deep roots there, but at the end of the day I reached out [to the Braves] plenty in the offseason ... and got the pretty clear sense that they were going to move on. "We were on our honeymoon, and we felt this is where we were supposed to be regardless." Just a day before the death of his grandfather, whose second-favorite team was the Cubs, Swanson married professional soccer player Mallory Pugh, who just happens to play for the Chicago Red Stars of the NWSL.