samhexum

Astoria woman busted for assaulting customs agent with karate chop at JFK Airport I'm a very gentle person; had it been me, it would've been with a lamb chop. Child rapist who escaped Arkansas prison on a jet ski is captured at a Quality Inn with his family Who figures out how to escape prison on a jet ski(!) then gets caught at a Quality Inn?

I was never going to pay that.

I don't know, but this is definitely the dumbest woman: Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 18 years. It’s a second marriage for both of us. He cheated on his ex with me. Soon after we were married, he told me that, given the chance, he would cheat on me, but that I shouldn’t worry because no really pretty woman would ever want him. Six years into our marriage, I needed to find something on his phone and saw he had signed up on a dating website for married people looking to cheat. We went to counseling. He said he wasn’t planning on following through; he just wanted to see what was out there. Not long afterward, I noticed he had checked a website for dating foreign women, but he needed a credit card, so he gave up. Off to counseling again. I told him that was strike two. Last month, I went on vacation with my daughter. Last week, he accidentally deleted something on his phone and asked me to find it. What I also found were emails from women offering their services, all of them sent while I was away. (“Send money, I’ll send more titillating photos.”) He claims he didn’t ask for them. There are eight or 10. My question: Is this strike three? — Foolish Lady in Maryland Dear “Lady” (and I use the term loosely): It should be obvious to you by now that your husband isn’t interested in being faithful. If you’re looking for a reason to leave him, this is strike three. If not, it’s strike 2 1/2. (Please get yourself tested for STDs.) NO, it’s strike 6. YOU were strike 1, what he told you after your marriage was 2, the first two phone situations were 3-4, his being able to stand staying married to such an enormous moron for 18 years is #5.

Queensborough Community College celebrates opening of new Male Resource Center Interesting... a center with the resources to help you find a male. I hope it's co-ed.

That's really weird. As a medical professional, I would think you'd be more familiar with where/how to pick these up... What does COVID-19 look like?

Investors hoping Instacart delivers in highly anticipated IPO filing

France to spend $216 million to destroy 80 million gallons of surplus wine are you sure you wanna do that.wav crapfest.wav

Sacre bleu! That's nuts! People losing it after discovering how cashews actually grow: 'This is not real' Australian man Jackson Jansen was shocked when he discovered the popular “nut” is actually a seed that grows on the outside of a specific apple variety.

I can't help it. I keep seeing 'Bob Barker passes...' showing on the 'front page' of this forum, and I am (as I'm sure all of you are) reminded of the time Dorothy was going to remarry Stan, and Debbie Reynolds was interviewing to be the new roommate: Truby: “My husband passed just last summer.” Rose: “Passed what?” Dorothy: “A slow-moving Winnebago, Rose.” No disrespect meant to Mr. Barker, who had an admirable career and used his celebrity in an admirable way. 99 years is a nice, long ride, and I'm sure it was quite a good one.

Aldi Is Selling the Cutest Dog Bathrobes For $5 https://apple.news/A5PAOv3f7QSenAmEl2d-7sg

Thank god I'm poor and don't have to deal with all this mishegos. DEFINITIONS n. "Foolishness, nonsense, craziness." EXAMPLE SENTENCES "I don't want to get involved in their mishegos." LANGUAGES OF ORIGIN Yiddish

Jan 2022: A1C 8.2, my Dr. put me on Metformin. May 2022: A1c 6.7, down 18 pounds. Weight plateaued for a year, A1C remained 6.7-6.8. May 2023: Dr. put me on Ozempic. Today: Down 27 pounds since May, A1C 5.7!!!! If you want to reach me, I'll be doing a photo shoot for the cover of Men's Health. The only problem is that I'm in Medicare's coverage gap, and a refill is $750 for 3 months. My brother in law's doctor switched him to the medium pen, so he had an extra pen & a half he gave me and the Dr. had one sample left that he gave me. I'm good through late Oct. My pulmonologist is in the same building and I haven't seen him since before covid (I had an appt for 2 weeks after the 1st cases hit, but cancelled). I'll make an appt with him soon, and stop in to see the endocrinologist that day, & maybe he'll have more samples. Otherwise it's back to Metformin for 2 months (I have plenty on hand), & your appetite is supposed to go crazy when you stop Ozempic, so that should be fun.

FUN PERFORMANCE OF THE DAY: Milwaukee's 100-MPH-throwing rookie reliever Abner Uribe is having an excellent year. Today was a little bit less so... Abner Doubleday would've been rolling over in his grave (with laughter) because his namesake: Faced 4 batters Threw 18 pitches Walked 3 and hit the other Threw 3 wild pitches

Last night I almost posted 'What a positive attitude about erectile dysfunction!' I didn't because I thought it would be rude. But what the heck...

Both appeared often, and thrice together, on COMEDY KNOCKOUT, a show that ran on Tru-TV for 3 seasons/84 episodes. 3 comics competed for the audience's approval. You can catch them now on MAX, I believe. S1 E22. We're Jewish Now Matteo Lane does a startlingly accurate Mariah Carey impersonation, and Josh Wolf has an endless list of suggestions for Matteo's dream job. S2 E11. What Is This Show? Matteo says he shaves his asshole in this one. Amanda Seales definitely knows what not to say at a renaissance faire, and Matteo Lane kisses frogs for a very special reason. S2 E31. Deep V Find out what Arden Myrin, Matteo Lane, and an artisanal pickle maker have in common. Matteo had a hole in the crotch of his jeans in this one, but Josh went & sat in the audience to check that it couldn't be seen.

Is that the poster for "THE LIFE OF DECAPRIO"?

I couldn't find it in the store that day. But one these years I'll try some.

@BOZO T CLOWN will be unavailable for awhile:

How can you go wrong in a store where, if you rearrange the letters in its name, you get laid?

Dorothy: You know, I knew someone who went to this fabulous restaurant in Paris and just had watercress for lunch because, you know, she didn't want to gain weight. And then after lunch, she walked out of the restaurant and a gargoyle fell off the building, hit her on the head, and killed her.Blanche: Oh, no.Dorothy: I mean, look at what her last meal was.Blanche: That is tragic, just tragic.

How do you say OY-VEY in Japanese? Shohei Ohtani Diagnosed With Tear In UCL, Will Not Pitch Again This Season It isn’t clear if he’ll require surgery; Ohtani is seeking a second opinion before making that decision. Ohtani started the first game of today’s doubleheader against the Reds. He departed in the second inning with what the team initially announced as arm fatigue. He underwent imaging between games and learned of the ligament damage. He nevertheless played in the nightcap as the designated hitter, going 1-5. Since pushing in two of their top prospects for Lucas Giolito and Reynaldo López at the trade deadline, the Halos have gone 9-18. They’re a season-worst six games under .500 after being swept by the Reds. Their playoff hopes had all but evaporated even before tonight’s news both that Ohtani would no longer be able to pitch and that Mike Trout was headed back to the injured list. It has been a staggeringly brutal few weeks even for a franchise no stranger to disappointment. Angels To Place Mike Trout On Injured List GM Perry Minasian informed reporters that Trout remained in too much discomfort when hitting to continue playing. The three-time MVP had just returned from an IL stay on Tuesday.