P Gren

What do the changes in gay rights movement have to do with physical attraction?

Please remember your earlier post wherein you stated "a great way to act on this is for older gay men to value their contemporaries for their looks and stop chasing young kids and start chasing their contemporaries."

 

Again, we cannot control who we find attractive. While we certainly can be friendly to contemporaries, changes made by the gay rights movement do not change physical attraction.

 

While I agree that it would be wonderful if all older gays became friends, human nature will not allow that to happen. Again, that is just the way it is.

Again. "That's just the way it is" Seriously? Everything changes all the times. Gay rights was just an obvious example of how things aren't just that way it is. Homophobia is challenged and beaten back. If the gay activists of the 70s and 80s had the attitude of "that's just the way it is" we'd be living in a much more limited world for gay men. And yes this is connected to physical attraction. The gay rights movement opened up gay men's lives to more fully explore the ways we bond with each other. Again being gay is about how we bond with other men, its not limited to physical attraction, that is one aspect of it, and it's debatable whether its the most important. Of course historically when a quick fuck in a public place was the most that a lot of closeted gay men could expect as far as expressing their gayness, physical attraction could get fetishized. We can unpack (pun intended) that fetishizing of the sexual aspect of our bonding.

So, because we're "so much more," hormones should be dismissed as unimportant?

I don't understand your post. Who said hormones are unimportant? Not me. I said we are more than hormones. Being gay is about bonding with other men (sex is one of many different ways that happens) its not limited to sex. You're coming across as reactive rather than curious about other thoughts/opinions.

Hi, I read your post again, particularly the sentence "a great way to act on this is for older gay men to value their contemporaries for their looks and stop chasing young kids and start chasing their contemporaries."

 

Your statement does not mention psychology and social norms.

 

I know there is a reason that most gays go after young guys just like I know there is a reason why straight guys go after young women.

 

Fortunately, there are enough gays that like older "contemporaries" but most like younger guys.

 

That is just the way it is.

"That's just the way it is" ... seriously? You can say that after the changes made by the gay rights movement. Things can/do change. "A great way to act (a social norm) on this is for older gay men to value (psychology) their contemporaries ... etc. "

Hormones are an aspect of one's psychology

Obviously. And we're so much more.

Although your comment seems gracious, your comment leaves out the critical psychological aspect of physical attraction.

 

We cannot control who we find attractive.

 

Most of us have a "type" and if we are not physically attracted to "contemporaries" it is beyond our control.

 

This is just part of being gay and human.

I was talking more about our psychology and social norms, I think you're talking about hormones.

For many of us gay life is a cruel life to age in. A few gay men age very attractively but generally, it is a very youth-oriented life. Even if you're able to stay youthful in mind, the outward appearance is what you are often judged by. Harshly.

 

Not uncommon to gay life, the real test is to stay inwardly and outwardly happy. It's all too common to get bitter and/or depressed as life begins to dim. Fading out gracefully is not easy to do. But hard as it is to do you must. Not for your popularity but for your own inner spirit. You owe it to yourself to stay as healthy as possible both physically and mentally.

 

My own thing is to keep close friends of all ages, to travel, and to keep projects going that keep me physically active. But yup, many times I get so irritated with some people I wanna rip them a new asshole. That's life.

a great way to act on this is for older gay men to value their contemporaries for their looks and stop chasing young kids and start chasing their contemporaries. I keep thinking to my self "its a gym, its' not a time machine." this is something I struggle with to be honest. I am interested in how younger men experience current sexuality - my historicism I suppose. Talking to Victor Powers totally interests me to hear about another person's experience, but no interest in fucking him (and Victor it isn't because you aren't hot ... it's me, not you ... haha.)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gay-and-lesbian-well-being/201204/gay-men-and-aging-finding-your-purpose

 

Interesting take on aging and gay men. I was also wondering how straight men dealt with losing their looks. I recently ran into a high school crush of mine-he was such a stud, built, gorgeous and just oozing sex appeal. Now he was bald, fat and really unrecognizable and divorced thrice.

 

All of us face our mortality, but wonder if straight men lament the loss of looks as much as gay men? Or is it just a stereotype us gay men are obsessed with looks and truth is far more nuanced?

generally (not a rule just a tendency) women are more empathic and emotionally focussed than men. so straight men probably don't have as much judgement to deal with about their looks (viewed by women) as gay men do (viewed by other men).

He is also 17 … and 43 …

 

43

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tEFHgHi_sx4/Ue3534ibOgI/AAAAAAAABVM/57Wh_e3WrDM/s1600/willy--21.jpg

He's even prettier up close

11

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FIWojAyws4A/Ue357EeStiI/AAAAAAAABWU/_MeySxXlvHs/s1600/willy--30.jpg

This looks like Woody. Great guy to be naked with

I’ve read conflicting things.

Uber was working last October in Montreal.

Wait, James Corden got to be invited, but not the star of Celebrity Apprentice: Washington Edition? So unfair!

 

(Political leaders were not being invited to this wedding, and the Trudeaus were no exception.)

Commonwealth rumour is that all the political leaders got Trumped out

The rumour in the Commonwealth, is that they had a small wedding, with a limited invitation list (but still like 600) partly in order to explain not inviting Mr. Trump. Although our Prime Minister wasn't invited either.

Seems clear to me he’s looking to compensate

"I look for FWB, I do look for escorts who aren't here to make me their "money daddy." That implies 'off the clock' escorts. Its unclear

I won't beat around the bush so to speak and if I upset someone, ok. I look for FWB, I do look for escorts who aren't here to make me their "money daddy" ; although I'm not opposed to that, but that's another story. I'm just someone who at their senior time isn't wasting time, or doesn't want to waste time looking for some fun times where I am or when I travel. I found with the loss of craigslist and m4rnow, it's difficult. If I'm missing something, let me know.

I was asking a question, for clarification. Same question: are you looking for this for free? Or are you paying? It's kind of a yes or no question.

I would add that despite the nice sounding riverside location of the Oriental, the Sukhothai setting is actually quite better.

were you naked at this hotel ... oops ... outside voice

I want to thank all for being considerate and not tossing aside my frustration. I'm in a rural area and while adam may be good it isn't helpful for "pre"planning as I like to do. I'm just an older guy who likes to be nice and have fun with younger men. Thanks

Are you looking for this for free? Or are you paying?

Go see his circus act if you get a chance. He's a great performer on the silks

The most talented dancer has been dropped off the main page

Gay or straight you just know Whit Johnson got his job on a casting couch. Why's that woman tugging at her bra?

 

and then there's Thomas Roberts who didn't get his perfect husband being shy (muscular Morman guy would be ideal lol)

 

 

Instagram with his husband: https://www.instagram.com/p/4946qOg_gb/?utm_source=ig_embed

 

https://www.thesword.com/thomas-roberts-the-first-nbc-nightly-news-anchor-whose-cock-ive-seen.html

I hate this kind of sleazy "journalism." I wouldn't want my Manhunt ad (not that I have one) plastered all over the internet off the site - don't know why it's okay just because someone is a celebrity. Feels kind of shitty to be treating "a brother" this way

Garrett and I are getting a room later

That's how I felt. And as the shrinks like to say: "if that's how you feel, than that's how you feel."

 

While I know I shouldn't expect a prostitute to only have sex with one person, as they would go out of business, the regular customers were just so old and nasty looking it sent shivers down my spine. I'm not going to apologize for the way I felt. That's why I am more boyfriend oriented than prostitute oriented, as I don't subscribe to the whole polyamory bathhouse lifestyle. To each his own. To pretend that's not exactly what's happening would be disingenuous. Should I not "mind" or think about these realities?

 

The thing that was alarming to me was that he just started to top me raw after eating my ass without even asking. I put a stop to it immediately after I realized what was going on after 20 seconds (that he was topping with no condom) and went to the ER in MTL.

 

I ended up spending $1400 for the ER visit and first 3 doses of PEP, and it costs thousands of dollars more when I returned home to the USA to complete the 4 week PEP drug regimen. Thank goodness I am negative and my insurance covered the pills in the USA. It was not a pleasant experience.

 

If the dancer is willing to top me raw without even asking, then he will do that to anyone (and likely most) of his clients. Not safe! People who do that usually don't have much regard for their sexual health as they are usually already HIV positive.

Unrelated to Taboo but related to your ER visit. I remember going to the ER about 4 years ago and there was a Korea tourist in front of me that was paying for the visit. I remember at the time being completely shocked about someone paying money to be at the hospital. My experience in Canada, before this, was that the hospital was universally available, free of fees, as needed.

Yes of course, why?

I was just curious is all. I've never used grindr. (And thank you for not getting defensive with an age related question.)

This as @sniper says...and I also think some just test waters requesting “gen”. Maybe a friend tried it and it worked out, maybe they need some quick funds. They chat, but as it becomes closer to the “rubber meets the road” they get nervous. Blocking, ghosting, disappearing is the hallmark of (lack of ) open communication skills among our younger generation.

Question (not a comment). Have you been blocked by someone your own age?

I'm a more mature (I prefer the term mature to older) guy and I find it difficult to find mature guys (on dating sites) who want to date/hook up with other mature guys. I find a great majority want much younger guys.

Have you come across a site for mature guys looking for guys there own age? I've got a buddy that was asking me about this.

I think in the first episode Criss gave you cunning, disturbed, confused, conflicted and Crazy, so for me that was enough to call it layered. In all his incarnations he made it believable and while you may not have liked his character, it made me want to watch.... Ricky Martin is eye candy, but its a throw away performance.

In the Easy Lover dance scene one thing I'd say ... underwear technology has advanced over the last 30 years.