KennF

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It's the end of the world.
http://37.media.tumblr.com/1b2af2c3247939215d0504fe5c5354e6/tumblr_n2ep58tOxs1toamj8o1_500.gif

I don't think I've ever heard an escort whine about virtually everything in this (more specifically, his) business as much as Mocha...
 
Yet embarrassingly, I've become super entertained by all his never-ending frustration.

Bump for any 411

Bump for any 411

What a great thread that's well worth discussing.
 
Since I try to stay very discreet myself, I go to great lengths to minimize my possible exposure. I try to return the favor to escorts I meet. Since I do vet each and every escort I meet, I have run into escorts who after basic vetting, are revealed. Generally, and probably because I'm always looking out for people (my wife calls me a control freak), I ask them if they are discreet like me or if they don't care about being publicly known as an escort. Most of the guys I see say they're very discreet. If they say that, I give them a heads up about how closely related they are online when they use pics from their Instagram or the same cell number or whatever. Some guys say I'm a stalker or weirdo, but most thank me and ask for advice on being more discreet. Your mileage may vary. Every culture has different expectations about privacy and discretion.

Yeah..., it looks like he's not cut out for this line of work. In a way it's probably better for him that he learned how vulnerable his identity was from one of the nicer clients like yourself, even if it was by mistake. It may only have been a matter of time before an unstable or vindictive client learned this guy's real name the same way you did, and actually *put it to use* in a way that could have been embarrassing or even harmful to the guy. All's well that ends well...

@KennF - I'm sorry if I made you feel like you needed to apologize more. That was not my intent. It was simply to help you (and others) understand what an escort might feel like. You didn't owe any of us an apology - you asked a question, got some answers. You did get skewered a bit, and I think you understand why, but this thread is simply an exchange of information - not your trial.
 
Your question is interesting. I didn't choose Eric Hassan until I had already established myself as The Dude Next Door. My website is thedudenextdoor.com and my handle on RM is thedudenextdoor - I'm committed to that title as part of my identity. My assessment is based on having the experience of choosing a moniker that isn't a name - thedudenextdoor - and then choosing a name by which to be called.

Nope. I acknowledged my social mistake early in the thread.
 
After that, however, things have been spiraling.

This past winter I was out at a gay social event. I didn't know anyone there.
It was all light cocktail party talk. One of the younger guys in my circle started
playing with his phone, I just assumed he was a text addicted Millennial.
 
After less than 10 seconds he looks right at me and says "wow, you look a
lot different in the summer". He only knew my first name and the general
area of New York where I live. He was looking at pictures of me that clearly
identified my profession and place of employment.
 
Although you could tell to him it was just harmless curiosity, it was a little
disturbing to me and a wake up call. In today's world everything about
you is discoverable in 10 seconds or less.
 
I understand your escort's reaction. Unfortunately, looking everyone you
meet up online is the new socially acceptable norm and being offended just
makes you look like a clueless old geezer.

The ultimate irony....a thread about the pros and cons of vetting in a public Internet forum where the vast majority of Forum members come together to publicly vet escorts in the Deli section. It appears as if vetting is OK in this clandestine little part of the Internet as long as there is a gentlemen's agreement to keep it to themselves.
 
Whether we like it or not everyone in this Forum vets prospective escorts in one way or another...escorts and clients alike.

Again, I thinking this is spiraling way out of the reality of the circumstances.
 
You guys are making me out to be some stalker and online creep. I gotta tell you... I'm more than a little surprised.
 
I accept that he may have been startled that I did my research. But not ONCE have I given you any indication of who I am referring to and not ONCE have I discussed the actual personal details.
 
I can recall MANY of the people here advocating that you should use people who you can verify, come well reviewed, etc... But if you're advocating now that clients shouldn't DO that research, then I'm more confused than ever. You can't do due diligence without learning something.
 
Or, I guess, people are advocating that clients should lie and not be honest with the professional they are hiring.
 
 
 
Personally, I have ZERO expectation of privacy on this forum or any other online forum. If I give you my personal cell #, then I expect you can tell my name, home address, how long I've lived there, my date of birth, every traffic citation, state license (in every state), the approx. value of my home, how much I pay in taxes, who my friends are on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagrams, whatever...
 
That doesn't make you a stalker and that isn't a violation of my privacy. A violation of my privacy is coming into my space, contacting my friends, discussing the business between the two of us, and betraying the trust I placed in you to respect my information.
 
That's my feelings on the situation. Maybe what I learned is that if you don't use your stage name (a name you expect people to call you), that you aren't mature enough to handle the industry. Because if the escort in question had used a reasonable name, then the rest would have been academic.

Nope. I acknowledged my social mistake early in the thread.
 
After that, however, things have been spiraling.

Again, I thinking this is spiraling way out of the reality of the circumstances.
 
You guys are making me out to be some stalker and online creep. I gotta tell you... I'm more than a little surprised.
 
I accept that he may have been startled that I did my research. But not ONCE have I given you any indication of who I am referring to and not ONCE have I discussed the actual personal details.
 
I can recall MANY of the people here advocating that you should use people who you can verify, come well reviewed, etc... But if you're advocating now that clients shouldn't DO that research, then I'm more confused than ever. You can't do due diligence without learning something.
 
Or, I guess, people are advocating that clients should lie and not be honest with the professional they are hiring.
 
 
 
Personally, I have ZERO expectation of privacy on this forum or any other online forum. If I give you my personal cell #, then I expect you can tell my name, home address, how long I've lived there, my date of birth, every traffic citation, state license (in every state), the approx. value of my home, how much I pay in taxes, who my friends are on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagrams, whatever...
 
That doesn't make you a stalker and that isn't a violation of my privacy. A violation of my privacy is coming into my space, contacting my friends, discussing the business between the two of us, and betraying the trust I placed in you to respect my information.
 
That's my feelings on the situation. Maybe what I learned is that if you don't use your stage name (a name you expect people to call you), that you aren't mature enough to handle the industry. Because if the escort in question had used a reasonable name, then the rest would have been academic.

Nope. I acknowledged my social mistake early in the thread.
 
After that, however, things have been spiraling.

Again, I thinking this is spiraling way out of the reality of the circumstances.
 
You guys are making me out to be some stalker and online creep. I gotta tell you... I'm more than a little surprised.
 
I accept that he may have been startled that I did my research. But not ONCE have I given you any indication of who I am referring to and not ONCE have I discussed the actual personal details.
 
I can recall MANY of the people here advocating that you should use people who you can verify, come well reviewed, etc... But if you're advocating now that clients shouldn't DO that research, then I'm more confused than ever. You can't do due diligence without learning something.
 
Or, I guess, people are advocating that clients should lie and not be honest with the professional they are hiring.
 
 
 
Personally, I have ZERO expectation of privacy on this forum or any other online forum. If I give you my personal cell #, then I expect you can tell my name, home address, how long I've lived there, my date of birth, every traffic citation, state license (in every state), the approx. value of my home, how much I pay in taxes, who my friends are on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagrams, whatever...
 
That doesn't make you a stalker and that isn't a violation of my privacy. A violation of my privacy is coming into my space, contacting my friends, discussing the business between the two of us, and betraying the trust I placed in you to respect my information.
 
That's my feelings on the situation. Maybe what I learned is that if you don't use your stage name (a name you expect people to call you), that you aren't mature enough to handle the industry. Because if the escort in question had used a reasonable name, then the rest would have been academic.

Again, I thinking this is spiraling way out of the reality of the circumstances.
 
You guys are making me out to be some stalker and online creep. I gotta tell you... I'm more than a little surprised.
 
I accept that he may have been startled that I did my research. But not ONCE have I given you any indication of who I am referring to and not ONCE have I discussed the actual personal details.
 
I can recall MANY of the people here advocating that you should use people who you can verify, come well reviewed, etc... But if you're advocating now that clients shouldn't DO that research, then I'm more confused than ever. You can't do due diligence without learning something.
 
Or, I guess, people are advocating that clients should lie and not be honest with the professional they are hiring.
 
 
 
Personally, I have ZERO expectation of privacy on this forum or any other online forum. If I give you my personal cell #, then I expect you can tell my name, home address, how long I've lived there, my date of birth, every traffic citation, state license (in every state), the approx. value of my home, how much I pay in taxes, who my friends are on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagrams, whatever...
 
That doesn't make you a stalker and that isn't a violation of my privacy. A violation of my privacy is coming into my space, contacting my friends, discussing the business between the two of us, and betraying the trust I placed in you to respect my information.
 
That's my feelings on the situation. Maybe what I learned is that if you don't use your stage name (a name you expect people to call you), that you aren't mature enough to handle the industry. Because if the escort in question had used a reasonable name, then the rest would have been academic.

@Benjamin_Nicholas I expected some of this. It's the stalker and creep comment that got under my skin. I'm over that already.
 
@instudiocity Didn't publish it, as you suggested. That is the type of spiraling I was referring to earlier.
 
Publishing would mean I came in here or elsewhere and publicly spread his personal information.

I understand where you're coming from, but you yourself opened this can of worms. You came here and solicited for opinions... And you got them. Because you didn't get the response you wanted doesn't mean some of them are wrong
 
All said, you've been here long enough to know this is how things function around these parts. Opinions spiral into megathreads and it turns into That's Entertainment I, II and III.

I agree, but that happens here a lot. Try not to take it personally. Water off a duck's back and all that...
 
A tactical mistake. Lesson learned.
 
Many years ago when I was living in San Diego I was seeing an escort that went by Corey. (I've mentioned him here before. Great guy.) I liked him so much that I wanted to spend a weekend in Vegas with him. I needed his real name to buy the airline ticket so it was in my head. At the airport I accidentally called him by that name instead of Corey. He stopped dead, looked me in the eye, and said, "No one calls me that." Message received and understood.
 
Since then I've been very cautious. Real names invariably come out when you have a regular situation. All these years later, I still stop and ask very specifically what name he is most comfortable with me using. Extending him that courtesy has always resulted in, "Either name is fine" or "My real name is cool." With the notable exception of Corey that is. I never called him by his real name again!

Again, I thinking this is spiraling way out of the reality of the circumstances.
 
You guys are making me out to be some stalker and online creep. I gotta tell you... I'm more than a little surprised.
 
I accept that he may have been startled that I did my research. But not ONCE have I given you any indication of who I am referring to and not ONCE have I discussed the actual personal details.
 
I can recall MANY of the people here advocating that you should use people who you can verify, come well reviewed, etc... But if you're advocating now that clients shouldn't DO that research, then I'm more confused than ever. You can't do due diligence without learning something.
 
Or, I guess, people are advocating that clients should lie and not be honest with the professional they are hiring.
 
 
 
Personally, I have ZERO expectation of privacy on this forum or any other online forum. If I give you my personal cell #, then I expect you can tell my name, home address, how long I've lived there, my date of birth, every traffic citation, state license (in every state), the approx. value of my home, how much I pay in taxes, who my friends are on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagrams, whatever...
 
That doesn't make you a stalker and that isn't a violation of my privacy. A violation of my privacy is coming into my space, contacting my friends, discussing the business between the two of us, and betraying the trust I placed in you to respect my information.
 
That's my feelings on the situation. Maybe what I learned is that if you don't use your stage name (a name you expect people to call you), that you aren't mature enough to handle the industry. Because if the escort in question had used a reasonable name, then the rest would have been academic.

Ok. So I'm asking...
 
I was doing my research on a potential escort, they have limited reviews, and no one has talked about them on here. So, I did phone number and image searches. The phone number came back with there name and I did a Google search on that. Nothing on the image search (which is good, I guess).
 
Anyway, in our back and forth, I mentioned his name, instead of his screenname (which isn't a stage name but a description). He started questioning me on if I knew him and how I found his name. After I told him, he went quiet on me (I think the term is ghosted, but not sure).
 
Well, I heard back and he admitted that he was thrown a bit and taken aback.
 
My question... did I do something wrong? Should I have kept my research/vetting secret? How do you respond to things your clients find out about?

I have to admit...this fellow needs a lesson in photo posting. There is something decidedly non sexy to me images that feature toilet tanks covered with crap and piles of dirty clothes on the floor!

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

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