Golem

Thank you for the respect. How would he have even known I was gay? I guess you would have had to have been there to feel how awkward this whole thing was. I’m sorry that you felt the need to say things the way you did.

The thought going through my head reading this is, This is what it must be like for many women a lot of the time: To be the object of someone else’s desire. The guy could have been anything, from a shy sort working up the courage to tell you something from the depths of his heart to a serial killer stalking his prey and everything in between. It doesn’t matter. What matters is your response. You were made uncomfortable, you did not want that attention, and you got out of it safely. Except something in you was violated. It’s nice to be thought good looking, but the weird factor in this seemed too great. It’s as though you exist to please him, not as a person but as a projection of his desire. There are structured situations where openly articulating attraction is acceptable, within the conventions of that kind of situation, which is what ice cream socials are for, not to mention more explicitly sexual gatherings. But everybody there has signed on to flirt appropriately. You were right to follow your feeling, for no other reason than you have a right to own the integrity of your own response.

Get out of here with all these facts! The argument being made is actually an emotional one. People want to engage in risky behavior but don't want to accept responsibility for any adverse consequences for their choices, so et voila, it must be someone else's fault. Because they say so.

You're either trolling or ostriching, now. That someone could potentially pass on a disease to you (if you don't take any precautions yourself) is the default position. It's true about everyone you sleep with, unless you have them go and get an STI panel and hang out until it's done.
 
You aren't informing anyone about potential disease transmission. You're gossiping. That may not be what you think you're doing, but it is what you're doing.

You're either trolling or ostriching, now. That someone could potentially pass on a disease to you (if you don't take any precautions yourself) is the default position. It's true about everyone you sleep with, unless you have them go and get an STI panel and hang out until it's done.
 
You aren't informing anyone about potential disease transmission. You're gossiping. That may not be what you think you're doing, but it is what you're doing.

Given that this information is not publicly reported in the vast, vast majority of cases, I don't understand what relevance this has to anything. If you want to protect your own health, you take appropriate precautions, period. Pointing out a particular person's status, even if it's publicly disclosed, serves absolutely no purpose when it comes to safety, danger, disease transmission, etc.

Given that this information is not publicly reported in the vast, vast majority of cases, I don't understand what relevance this has to anything. If you want to protect your own health, you take appropriate precautions, period. Pointing out a particular person's status, even if it's publicly disclosed, serves absolutely no purpose when it comes to safety, danger, disease transmission, etc.

Given that this information is not publicly reported in the vast, vast majority of cases, I don't understand what relevance this has to anything. If you want to protect your own health, you take appropriate precautions, period. Pointing out a particular person's status, even if it's publicly disclosed, serves absolutely no purpose when it comes to safety, danger, disease transmission, etc.

He clearly said in his reply that he was aware of KG's status. Gray has been VERY open about this. It's not a secret.
 
Having met him myself, he's smart, honest and a good example of how to continue escorting while HIV+
 
 
Bottom line, it wasn't that you shared this. It was how you went about it.

Why the old link? To shame?
 
KG's been pretty straight forward about this since his diagnosis. I applaud that. It takes balls to put that out there in this business.
 
With protection, PrEP and someone with a zero viral load, sex and being HIV+ isn't much of a risk.

New listing in London Shaneparis on RentMen, former porn star , any info and what was his stage name. Any info appreciated

The first thing I would do is look for the charges filed against him because it seems very unlikely that is the only reason he was arrested. Jail bookings and arrest records are public information (and frequently published broadly) and list the charges. Assuming he really was arrested (and it’s not just made up by the BF) it seems likely that some other accusation would be primary.
 
If “prostitution” is the only charge, with nothing else, then I still wouldn’t worry. What evidence could possibly exist that would implicate you that wouldn’t get laughed out of court. I’d assert that his texts were completely fabricated, even if he did incriminate himself for some reason.
If he says the texts are real and contain your full legal name, address and date of birth then I’d threaten to file a defamation suit.
Short answer = don’t worry.

I spent the weekend with him about a month ago. He's a sweetheart, a bit unsophisticated, agreeable and fun. No inhibitions. The softest skin in the world covering those muscles.

I actually typed out a more blistering response....and sent it to myself in an email to remind myself of how I previously would have responded to *this*. Now, I’ll simply say the following:
 
Have been concentrating on my body, my family, international travel, and the fall back plans I have for when I choose to stop escorting. I have long said...this isn’t my only iron in the fire. If YOU feel your response or inquiry isn’t gaining traction, don’t worry about losing interest- that’s your right to do so. Business is exactly where it needs to be for me; I don’t stuff unnecessary appointments in...I take care of the guys I DO see and balance it with my other work, family, etc.
 
Spend hours a day just shooting the shit with clients I have that I might not be seeing for months- because preserving the type of relationship / friendship I have with them is more important than chasing *new money.*.
 
Keep posting whatever you care too, the SMILE FACTORY is still open for business and working three shifts over here! ????

Ah, the ol' playing the percentages tactic. Very. very smart.
 
Escorts think it's always about visiting the largest city: It's not.
 
It's often times about going where you'll stand out from the crowd.

Moving away from those labels doesn't mean people can't still be attracted solely to one or to the other, if that happens to be the case for them.
 
Every so often some crazy person, who has apparently forgotten the history of straight people claiming that every other orientation is not real, is a psychiatric disorder, etc etc., will post saying "bisexuality doesn't exist" or "being completely gay doesn't exist." But I think latbear's comment was just about the labels, not about what anyone actually experiences.
 
Personally, I think labels like "gay" have their uses, some of which are important. But they also have their drawbacks. I think it's important to acknowledge that and be open to the benefits and drawbacks of other categorizing schemes, too. No categorizing scheme changes what is true for you, or for me, or for anyone else!

Given that publicly stated orientations are sometimes chosen for image/career reasons -- and for that matter the existence of studios that portray all or most of their models as straight/gay-for-pay/etc. as part of their own image/niche -- this seems like a hard topic to sort out.
 
Nobody seems to trust the stated orientations on RM very much (at least not as direct indicators of the provider's actual orientation); the same principle applies in porn, doesn't it?

So, I ran across this ad: https://rentmasseur.com/branc
 
There were all kinds of red flags: it had just been posted, it listed three cities (Santa Fe, New Orleans, and Ft. Lauderdale) simultaneously, and google image search linked the photos to a guy in Brazil who's facebook page (and real name) was easy to find.
 
Faced with a little boredom, and a fair amount of curiosity, I decided to engage. I've got some apps on my phone that provide free "burner" phone numbers which are great for fishing expeditions like this one (Apps are TextFree, TextMe and TextNow). I, of course, was also secretly hoping that this hot guy was for real.
 
The first number I texted him from was a 504 area code, which is New Orleans, one of the cities listed in his ad. At this point, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and when he immediately asked if I was in New Orleans, I said yes, and asked him where he was. "Downtown" was his reply, which is conveniently generic, but a little odd since, in New Orleans, we don't usually say "downtown," we say "the central business district" or "the CBD." He quickly followed up with a specific hotel address which is, I believe, the exact closest hotel to the center point of New Orleans on a map.
 
I had discovered the real name of the guy in the photos, so I asked him "Are you really (real name here)?" That shut down the conversation.
 
Less than a day later, I decided to try again, but this time I was already quite sure he was a scam artist and was just trying to learn more. I used a Florida area code this time, and started by inquiring about his location. "Downtown" he replied, vaguely. "Ft. Lauderdale?" I responded, and then he quickly provided a specific hotel and address: a Hampton Inn very close to the geographical center of Ft. Lauderdale. I wanted to waste a little bit more of his (or her) time, so I started asking questions about the services and activities offered. For each question, I was given the answer that he thought I was looking for. Since he would never actually meet, he could promise the world. I asked for more pictures, nude pictures, etc. All were forthcoming, but, of course, in the nude photos, you couldn't really tell whether it was the same guy.
 
Once I had convinced him that I was really horny, I asked if he was available now--he was. I told him I would take a quick shower and be there within an hour.
 
He was sure he had me hooked, so then he drops the bomb: He asks if, on my way over, I could stop at a Walgreens, CVS, etc. to pick up some iTunes gift cards for him. He specifies that he wants one $100 card, one $50 card, and I can pay him the remaining $50 in cash. "OK," I reply, "I'll take a quick shower and head over."
 
About 45 minutes later, I texted him that I had arrived at his hotel. As I expected, he told me to scratch off the cards and send him pictures of the codes. I searched google for images of iTunes gift cards, which were easy to find, but of course they were already redeemed, so they didn't work for him. I knew that I'd taken this about as far as I could, but I sent him images of more (worthless) cards just to waste as much time as possible. Surprisingly, he was very slow to give up, and kept asking me to send "real" cards. Then, ironically, he seemed to get mad that I was trying to fool him with fake cards.
 
The next day, I decided that I was in Santa Fe, NM. I texted him with a new number. Again, I started by trying to suss out his location. He was evasive, just claiming to be "downtown" and turning around the questions so that I would name the city. Once I revealed that it was Santa Fe, he immediately texted me an exact location, just like before. I was impressed that he had traveled from New Orleans to Ft. Lauderdale to Santa Fe within the course of about two days!
 
Once again, I offered to come right over, and he was immediately available! And then, the same pitch for iTunes cards, and in fact, the same specific request for one $100 card and one $50 card and $50 in cash. Since I knew he was going to ask me to send pictures of the codes, when he did, I asked if I could just give them to him in person, and said "don't you trust me? I'm an honest guy." He said that he needed to see the codes. I asked "what if you don't show up?" He said "I'm honest in my job." So, apparently my assurance that I'm an honest guy didn't cut it, but I was supposed to accept his honesty without question. It was all a game, but I was really hoping he'd play better.
 
I sent him the exact same images that I'd sent the day before. Oddly, he didn't seem to recognize the images, or realize that I'd put him through a similar exercise less than 24 hours earlier. This makes me wonder if this isn't an individual scammer, but some kind of organization that is staffed like a call center, perhaps in some far-away land.
 
At the end of this, once I knew it wasn't going much further, I asked him how he was able to be in New Orleans, Ft. Lauderdale, and Santa Fe in such a short time. He responded "I can travel over there for service." He seemed to be implying that he could just bop over to any of these places on a moment's notice. To me, this is another clue that he's in another country, perhaps a small country, so he doesn't understand that you can't be in Ft. Lauderdale one moment and Santa Fe a short while later.
 
So, what's the point of all this? Mostly, I suppose, a waste of my time. But, I think it helps us all to understand the patterns of these scammers who are out to victimize us. Hopefully, it goes without saying that you should never send anyone the codes from gift cards. And, maybe, just maybe, if we waste enough of these crooks' time, they'll find some other targets and leave us alone.

This guy showed up recently in Denver. Had a lot of fun with him. https://rent.men/Ruggergingercub/

Given that publicly stated orientations are sometimes chosen for image/career reasons -- and for that matter the existence of studios that portray all or most of their models as straight/gay-for-pay/etc. as part of their own image/niche -- this seems like a hard topic to sort out.
 
Nobody seems to trust the stated orientations on RM very much (at least not as direct indicators of the provider's actual orientation); the same principle applies in porn, doesn't it?

Spoiler Alert: This story is a preview of “The Last Days of August,” a new “Serial”-style podcast from journalist Jon Ronson which will be released on Audible on January 3.
 
On December 5, 2017, the body of 23-year-old porn superstar August Ames was found in a park near Los Angeles. The cause of death was asphyxiation from hanging.
 
A brutally simple narrative quickly formed around her suicide. Cyberbullies, the story went, drove Ames to kill herself after she tweeted about not wanting to work with “crossover” male porn stars who also made gay porn.
 
“The Last Days of August” rewrites the story of Ames’ death. Ronson’s broader version of events shifts the blame away from cyberbullies and instead places the tweetstorm and Ames’ death within a longer timeline of disturbing events. At the same time, it contextualizes porn stars Jessica Drake and Jaxton Wheeler, two of the major villains from the original narrative, while discovering new actors and events which helped push Ames over the edge.
 
In one particularly harrowing portion of the seven-episode podcast series, Ronson and his producer Lena Misitzis dissect Ames’ final porn scene which was shot weeks before the flurry of tweets and has never been released to the public. They make the argument that her last scene was the real trigger for her suicide.
 
“When you think about it what we were watching in that moment was the moment that she decided to die. That’s what we were watching and it’s awful,” Ronson told The Post. “That was the truth of it, that was the moment when she reached the point of no return. The Twitter bullying may have been the icing on the cake as some people described it.”
 
Ronson and Misitzis felt comfortable coming to this conclusion because they were able to get access to text messages Ames sent to a friend about the scene.
 
The podcasters also took a deep dive into Ames’ (real name Mercedes Grabowski) troubled childhood, cross-examined her husband, porn producer Kevin Moore, and broke down the decline in Ames’ mental health during the final days of her life.
 
Before any of that, however, Ronson and Misitzis establish their bonafides by taking an ax to two of the main pillars of the cyberbullying storyline.
 
That story, which was pushed by Ames’ husband Moore, began on December 3 when Ames tweeted: “Whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews, you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say… Do agents really not care about who they’re representing?… I do my homework for my body.”
 
Trying to clarify her position she later added: “NOT homophobic. Most girls don’t shoot with guys who have shot gay porn, for safety. That’s just how it is with me. I’m not putting my body at risk, i don’t know what they do in their private
lives.”
 
The following day Jessica Drake, a longtime and respected porn star who has accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct, took to Twitter to offer a rebuke of Ames’ position.
 
“Performers, by all means, f–k who you want to f–k…but if you’re eliminating folks based on the fact they they (sic) may have done gay or crossover work, your logic is seriously flawed. reality is, WE DON’T KNOW who does what with whom when there are no cameras.”
 
In a manifesto published on Ames’ website six days after her death, Moore explicitly blamed his wife’s death on Drake and gay porn star Jaxton Wheeler who, on December 5, tweeted: “@AugustAmesxxx the world is awaiting your apology or for you to swallow a cyanide pill. Either or we’ll take it.”
 
At the Adult Video News Awards — porn’s version of the Oscars — which were held on January 27, 2018, Moore stood before the entire industry and declared, “Who you work with is up to you. It’s your body, it’s your choice. No agent, no producer, no company, and certainly not social media, decides what you do with your body.”
 
The audience thunderously applauded Moore for his speech and some of the assembled porn stars wore t-shirts in memory of Ames.
 
Awkwardly, Drake attended the AVNs and was in the audience when Moore made his speech.
Ronson, who wrote a book called “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed,” on the early days of cyberbullying, dissects Moore’s version of events with the precision of a surgeon.
 
For example, Ronson points out that a close reading of Drake’s tweet reveals it to be relatively benign. Drake doesn’t condemn Ames or even call her out by name. Drake simply gives an alternative point of view on Ames’ health concerns.
 
Ronson also highlights the fact that Drake was not acting with ill-intent and could not have known the effect her words may or may not have had on Ames. Drake issued a heartfelt apology nonetheless, three days after Ames’ death, and in a rare interview tearfully revealed to Ronson that she, ironically, was now the subject of intense internet bullying.
 
Ronson’s reframing of Wheeler’s indefensible tweet is even simpler. Wheeler sent his appalling message telling Ames’ to “swallow a cyanide pill” in the early hours of December 5. Ames’ final tweet, a simple “f–k y’all,” was sent on August 4 and her body wasn’t found till December 5. Wheeler’s tweet, Ronson figured out, was sent after Ames’ had already taken her own life.
 
“The Last Days of August” is full of details like these that Ronson and Misitzis dug up, which create a portrait of Ames that is harrowing, heartbreaking and inspiring all at the same time.
 
Despite surviving childhood sexual traumas, Ames moved to Los Angeles by herself and for all intents and purposes conquered porn. In her five-year career, she shot nearly 300 scenes and was nominated for Female Performer of the Year three times at the AVNs. She was also a fan favorite not only because of her pure natural beauty but also because of her bubbly onscreen personality and exuberant sexuality. She was quite simply a joy to watch.
 
At the end of the podcast series, Ronson and Misitzis laser-in on the Ames’ final scene because it was so clearly outside her upbeat comfort zone. Performing with 30-year-old Russian porn star Markus Dupree, who is known for his domineering style, Ames was pushed to her sexual limits and possibly beyond.
 
In text messages to a friend, Ronson and Misitzis found Ames described Dupree going “full on War Machine.” This is a reference to Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver a professional fighter turned porn star who is serving a life sentence for beating his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, within an inch of her life.
 
Both Ronson and Misitzis told The Post that watching the scene was one of the hardest parts of the entire project and in listening to Misitzis’ description of its contents, it is easy to understand why.
 
“On more than one occasion in the footage, Marcus forcefully repositions August which visibly startles her,” Misitzis says in the final episode of the podcast. “She says ‘whoa s–t!’ and at one point Marcus picks up her pink thong, stretches it around her head, jerks her around by it, and then shoves it in her mouth.”
 
“At the end of her scene, August is interviewed by a crewmember to establish consent for legal purposes. She’s staring straight into the camera, holding up her check for the day’s work, her makeup’s gone and her hair is pulled back, she looks resigned and emotional and hollow all at once. ‘Were you treated OK?’ she’s asked. And flatly, and quietly she says, ‘yes.’ For the first time in this footage, all the camera is focused on is August’s face and she seems like she’s verging on tears.”
 
Six weeks later, Ames killed herself.
 
Around the same time, four other female porn stars lost their lives to drug overdoses or under mysterious circumstances.
 
Moore tried to provide a wake-up call for the industry at the 2018 AVNs. At the same award show, Dupree won Male Performer of the Year. In the past 12 months, he has shot well over 200 scenes and picked up nine nominations for this year’s AVNs. Once again, he is nominated for Male Performer of the Year.
 
The porn machine stops for no one. Consumers, Ronson told the Post, don’t care about the industry’s problems “because of their own shame about watching porn and not wanting to think about the life of the people in the porn business.”
 
“You don’t want to think of those people as a human but it’s for your own reason not there’s.”
 
The more people learn about the porn industry the less sexy it becomes.
 

No, but I bet if she refused to have sex with black men you would probably have no problem calling her a racist.
 
I actually do think it's homophobic -- especially with her comment that she doesn't know what they do in their private lives -- but I doubt the crossover male models give a shit since they get paid more to do gay porn. At the very least it demonstrates a lot of ignorance about disease transmission. You would think someone in the sex industry would stay up on the science. And don't they do pre-shoot testing in straight porn the same as gay porn?

For the sake of future people using the search function just as you did, you may want to put this guy's profile name in the topic title, instead of just "this guy".

You've got to expect some percentage of flakes in any kind of customer service business. Comes with the territory. 60%, though? That's insane. Hopefully you're just on a streak of bad luck. Is that percentage common among escorts? Do the flakers book in advance or are they short-notice appointments? (If the latter, are the 4 out of 10 that work out worth the stress and anger the other 6 create for you? If not, consider going appointment only.)
 
I totally agree with the suggestions to text night before/early day of. I'll usually book in advance if I'm travelling and text when I hit town and the morning of the appointment. Probably 50% of the time the guy I've hired will text me first to confirm. Gives both parties a sense of confidence that things will go as planned.
 
I've had to cancel on short notice once or twice. Sometimes life happens. But, I always try to call to tell the guy directly, text if I can't get him. (I've had escorts no-show, but only one extended me the same courtesy.) Whether client or escort, there should be a special place in hell for those who just don't follow through.

Actually, the articles, stories, and parables in these publications are quite easy to read. The key, I think, is the quality of the writing and editing. There’s also the use of these literary devices called “getting to the point” and “having one.” Can’t speak for others, but for me they make or break a piece.