LADoug1

It does sound as though you may have had a manic episode with all the traveling and spending and the hypersexuality. All of that is symptomatic of a deeper issue which is best treated with therapy, which you are already seeking and medication, which is likely to be a recommendation of the therapist. If you have the wherewithal to get back home and start living you new life, you should do that. You do not need the perfect therapist, you just need a therapist to get you started while you look for the perfect therapist. Saying that you need the perfect therapist assumes that there is such a thing and anything less is not worthwhile. Start moving in the right direction rather than spinning out of control. That is the best next step.

Lots of great advice above, but my observation is, that it just seems like you're running from something, or to something, without knowing what it is. I don't think you will find it in Paris or Barcelona or New York, and most likely not in California. I would say to slow it down a little, take a deep breath, go home to Belgium until you can figure it all out and consider the advice from @gallahadesquire. I also like the advice @Lookin
gave you. What's done is done, the fact is you are here now, and most likely you are the only one that can fix you.
 
I get up every morning and give that guy staring back at me in the mirror and little wink. It's a nice way to start my day.
 
Kudos to you for coming here and talking to strangers...Wish you all the best.

I believe your continuing to seek a depression specialist is a good way to go, but along with that, understand that a year is not that long a time to adapt to another lifestyle, in your case domestically and professionally. You may be expecting too much from yourself too soon. I hope you come back to us with news of a positive turn-around in the near future.

At this point, you should consider an antidepressant. And be evaluated for bipolar disorder

There is no vaccine for Hepatitis C.

A favorite from the archives:
 

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Bedbugs often live in tiny seams and creases in mattresses, bed pads, etc., as well as in baseboards. I speak from experience--I ran a program for the homeless for a number of years. Showering and changing clothes are ineffective in ridding yourself of them or avoiding them. High heat is one way to zap them. We used to put clothing of affected persons into a hot dryer for about 30 mins. We also invested in a machine that superheated areas of the room. FrankR is right about luggage and backpacks. I check hotel bedding when I travel because even some very reputable places have had problems--all it takes is for bedbugs to ride in on one person's belongings.

It is my understanding that bed bugs mainly spread by means of hiding in luggage (suitcases and backpacks). When you or a guest stay at an infested place, then head home, they travel with you. Also avoid used furniture....

No PNP. Condom + PrEP always!

Oh, it's likely that PrEP availability plays a role in lower condom use. This significant decline in condom use leads to increases in every other STI.
 
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jun/06/rapid-rise-in-anti-hiv-prep-pills-linked-to-drop-in-condom-use
 
But, it's more than just PrEP. People don't fear HIV anymore. They think it's totally fine to live with it and "there'll be a cure soon anyway" so who cares? We've seen this attitude for over a decade now. Younger people in North America and Europe--the areas where other STIs are skyrocketing--think HIV is no big deal so don't use condoms.
 
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/hiv-rise-being-man-enough-to-stay-safe-1.1441217
 
Florida in particular is very dangerous right now for new HIV infections. Miami is an incredibly risky area to have anal, oral, or vaginal sex with strangers without condoms.
 
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/why-miami-is-the-epicenter-of-new-hiv-cases-in-the-u-s
 
Plus, people continue to stupidly believe oral sex is safe sex, when it's an incredibly easy way to catch every STI except HIV. There's no such thing as safe sex! Only degrees of risk and safer sex.
 
https://www.verywellhealth.com/is-oral-sex-safe-sex-3133091

That's why people can't bet their health on just 1 pill. When people tell me they are negative and on prep, it's like and? I have an asthma inhaler, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be fine with you blowing cigarette smoke in my face.

https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/07/25/welcome-to-the-next-deadly-aids-pandemic/
 
The 22nd International AIDS Conference was on July 25th in Amsterdam and the reports coming out should give us all something to think about.
 
Thanks to the flawed global strategy using tier 1 drugs to control the spread of HIV, we now have treatment-resistant strains spreading very quickly in certain parts of the world. These resistant strains are becoming a sizable percent of all new infections in LIMICs (Low Income Middle Income Countries), like much of Africa, Latin America, and the Caribbean.
 
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(17)30702-8/fulltext
 
Infection rates for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and various forms of hepatitis are "skyrocketing," especially in young men who have sex with men in Europe and North America. And to make things even more challenging, there is now an effectively incurable form of gonorrhea spreading in Australia and the UK.
 
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/syphilis-rise-sexual-health-crisis-nhs-government-cuts-warning-a8383901.html
 
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(18)30225-1/fulltext
 
https://www.economist.com/united-states/2018/06/14/why-stds-are-soaring-in-america
 
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(18)30276-7/fulltext
 
https://ecdc.europa.eu/en/publications-data/rapid-risk-assessment-extensively-drug-resistant-xdr-neisseria-gonorrhoeae-united
 
There is no such thing as 100% safe sex. All we can do is have safer sex. It's a question of risk factors and what each of us is willing to live with based on our choices.
 
1. Get informed.
2. Get tested (regularly, at least annually and every 3 or 6 months is better depending on your sexual activity).
3. Recognize that Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) are a high-risk category for infection & transmission.
4. Understand that socioeconomic, racial, and geographic risk factors exist. Know how risky your partners may be so you can assess your decisions/choices/risks.
5. Understand your options. (Condoms are still the best tool for reducing risk of transmission during anal, oral, & vaginal sex).
6. Know about the vaccines (HPV, Hep A/B, and Meningitis) and decide which ones make sense for you.
7. Know about PrEP, it's pluses and minuses, and the reality that resistant strains exist, though these strains are currently a small percent of the infected population. (That will change.)

First and foremost, if you haven't had your Hep A&B vaccines, you shouldn't even consider rimming anyone

If you are barebacking PreP is a MUST for you !

Just saw coverage of this on the local LA news. WEHO sheriff's office has reopened case as a homicide investigation. Nothing was said about the possibility that Gemmel was an escort or the details about the way he died except that first it was deemed an accidental overdose and now deemed a possible homicide.

There are as many “boyfriend experiences” as there are boyfriends. Think of what you want and try and communicate this with a prospective escort. Be realistic since the experience is artificial. Suspend your disbelief and go with the fantasy. Best of luck.

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