Lucky

From the nytimes.com: Most men, as many as 70 percent, say they reach orgasm quicker than they’d like. But there is an inverse problem that can set in with age: lasting too long. For some men, reaching climax can take 30 minutes or more. Sex that lasts this long can be uncomfortable, painful and distressing for men and their partners. Delayed orgasm, as the condition is known, is more commonly associated with women — and for good reason, given the persistent orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships. But up to 10 percent of men over the age of 40 struggle with it, too. In extreme cases, some men can never reach climax, a disorder called anorgasmia. Orgasm disorders are not well studied or understood, and the little research that does exist tends to focus on premature ejaculation, defined as unintentionally reaching orgasm within two minutes according to the American Urological Association. But sexual health experts increasingly recognize delayed orgasm as a “huge problem,” said Dr. Rachel Rubin, a urologist and sex medicine specialist in Maryland. While there are no interventions approved by the Food and Drug Administration, there are some treatment options, including off-label medications, sex therapy and stimulating devices, as well as lifestyle and behavior changes. How orgasms work Orgasms are basically a massive reflex, kind of like a “giant sneeze,” Dr. Rubin said. Just one requiring a “perfect genital-brain connection.” The process starts with visual, mental or physical sexual stimulation, triggering the brain to release dopamine, which increases excitement. After sufficient stimulation, the brain releases a surge of pleasure-inducing chemicals, like oxytocin, creating the sensation we think of as an orgasm. For most men, ejaculation occurs at the same time, “but they are separate processes,” said Dr. Alan Shindel, a urologist based in San Francisco. While orgasm mostly happens in the brain, ejaculation is a series of involuntary muscle contractions. Complications affecting the genitals, pelvic floor muscles, spinal cord and brain can make orgasms premature, delayed, muted or even painful, Dr. Rubin said. Given the complexity involved, she said, “it’s actually amazing that more things don’t go wrong.” Causes of delayed orgasm in men Many physical, neurological or psychological conditions can contribute to delayed orgasm. Here are some of the most widespread causes. Medications The most common triggers of delayed orgasm are medications and other drugs, including alcohol, said Dr. Landon Trost, a urologist based in Utah. The guidelines from the urological association list 45 different drugs associated with delayed orgasm. The class of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors is among the most frequent culprits. These drugs increase serotonin, a chemical that inhibits the neural pathways involved in orgasm, thus raising the threshold required to climax. (For this reason, S.S.R.I.’s are a common off-label treatment for men who ejaculate too quickly.) Opiates, alcohol, antipsychotics and blood pressure medications, like beta blockers, can also make orgasm difficult by dampening the nervous system’s response to sexual stimulation. Neurological Issues Many neurological conditions — including multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, strokes and brain injuries — impair the neural pathways between the brain and genitals, which can result in dulled pleasure, delayed orgasm or painful ejaculation. Diabetes is another big neurological contributor that often leads to nerve damage. “It’s not just toes and fingers” that are affected, Dr. Shindel said. “The penis is an extremity, too.” Spinal injuries are another common cause of delayed orgasm, added Dr. Irwin Goldstein, a urologist based in San Diego. These can include something as simple as a slipped disk. Partner-Related Concerns Another common trigger is the pain or discomfort men may be causing to their partners, which often results in delayed or lack of orgasm for both. Roughly 75 percent women experience pain during intercourse at some point in their lives, some of which is caused by vaginal dryness and irritation, symptoms that can greatly increase at the onset of menopause. The condition is easily treatable with options like local vaginal estrogen, Dr. Rubin said, but often goes undiagnosed and undertreated. It is “extremely important” for clinicians treating men for delayed orgasm to “ask about their partners,” Dr. Rubin said. Differences in libido, preferred types of sex acts and performance expectations can also make it difficult for an orgasm to occur. Psychological Factors Mood disorders — like depression, anxiety and stress — are other common contributors to delayed orgasm. In one self-reported survey, 41 percent of men with moderate to severe delayed orgasm said anxiety and stress during sex was a main reason they were unable to reach climax. Depression in particular can blunt the brain’s ability to process pleasure, making orgasm difficult or muted. Treatments for delayed orgasm Before treatment, men and their doctors should discuss when the problem started, Dr. Trost said. A sudden onset of delayed orgasm may have a clear trigger (new medications, relationship-related stress or sleep disturbances, for example) and can often be easily reversed. Cases brought on more gradually by age-related conditions and chronic illness may be trickier to treat. Cases of permanent inability to reach orgasm — caused by the lack of certain dopamine receptors or traumatic brain or spinal injuries — are the most difficult to treat. There are no F.D.A.-approved treatments for delayed orgasm, but clinicians do have a few tools at their disposal. Medications Several dopamine-promoting drugs — like bupropion, buspirone and cabergoline — have helped counter delayed orgasm for men in some small, randomized control trials. Sex Therapy Sex therapy and counseling are always a good idea for any man with a sexual dysfunction, Dr. Shindel said. Therapy should ideally involve partners, he added, since sexual disorders “are never just one person’s problem.” Stimulation Devices Sometimes “a little more stimulation” can help men reach orgasm more easily, Dr. Rubin said. Sex toys, like vibration devices for the genitals, perineum, prostate or anus, can be helpful to heighten stimulation enough to reach orgasm, she said. These options don’t work for everybody though, said Dr. Shindel, who hopes for new treatments soon. Just as Viagra transformed erectile dysfunction, he said, the same could someday happen for delayed orgasm. “We’re still looking for an orgasm pill,” he said. David Dodge is a freelance writer focusing on health, wellness and L.G.B.T.Q. issues.

One of the great reasons to live in NYC!

He looks like he has had his lips plumped and is wearing lipstick.

Interesting article on Uruguay. Supposedly I have gifted the article, but don't be surprised to hit a paywall. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/03/travel/uruguay-montevideo-la-rambla-waterfront.html

Many credit cards allow virtual numbers to be used so that your real credit card number is hidden.

When it was here, I thought that @Lookin was one of the finest posters in the Politics forum.

Neither of you cared to say what it is. Okay, I looked it up. Basically, if you use too much poppers it might help. 🤩 Methylene blue - Wikipedia EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

We get a wide variety of posters in each forum. Some post occasionally, some virtually spend their day on this site. But I like positive posters so I don't care if they post a lot. Today I learned of a poster who may be...I said may be...the most negative poster here. He has 145 posts to date and I scanned them all. He attacks, criticizes, calls people names, and essentially has nothing positive to say...ever! Well, at least that's my opinion. If you have a few minutes and want some laughs, take a look. You might end up wondering why the guy posts here at all! https://www.companyofmen.org/profile/18725-jeffsterla/content/?all_activity=1

i thought religion was taboo. I once suggested that someone with a multitude of problems consider joining a church group and it was deleted before the ink could dry. The Lounge A place to gather and exchange ideas. NO Politics, NO Religion, NO War.

Why are you posting this? It sounds like gossip or you have a personal vendetta.

If you are looking for Italians, why are you going to Bangkok?

Attractiveness to others is a lot more than being skinny or fat. Your vibe counts for a lot. Easygoing, relaxed guys are more appealing than uptight or stressed guys.

Someone would have to warn the young live-in companion on the fate of your previous roommates!

UPDATE: Losing weight on Ozempic seems directly coordinated to exercise. My modestly active life here didn't quite cut it, but then I went on a vacation where I walked miles and climbed millions (it seemed) of steps. I lost weight! Now I am back from a month in Thailand where again I walked miles and climbed stairs and my weight has dropped 55 pounds in 2 years.

I like to see what, if any, extra charges have been added to the bill. Better to challenge them in person.

I do.

He looks ten years older than 36.

You care?

The half-time show was heavy on the rap, not a word of which I could understand.

When you can see studs like Joe Burrow play ball in tight pants, it's hardly a snoozer.

What tariffs?

A cruise with a formal night is exactly the kind of cruise I would skip.

Well, I missed the 4 nights of fun, but I did hear the fireworks! They woke me up! I was planning to go but jetlag caught up with me and I was asleep at 9:30. I heard the fireworks though but fell right back to sleep. It was almost not necessary to go to these parties as my hotel was jam-packed with Asian muscle boys. The hotel even put up "no tank top" signs as so many were wearing them and many of them super tight or revealing. I enjoyed being cramped on the elevator with a group of them. There are fewer now but still a lot. Plenty of action to be had. Arena didn't have the best selection but if I had waited a gorgeous guy was available when I left. Today we took boat rides and went to Chinatown. I like the river so much that I thought I should get an apartment right on the river. Instead, I cancelled next week's hotel stay and switched to a river front hotel and a room with a river view. I like Bangkok.

The Bay Area Reporter today reveals the results of a Grndr poll on gay issues: San Francisco's LGBTQ Castro neighborhood is the fourth "gayest gayborhood of the year," according to "Grindr Unwrapped," the queer dating and meet-up app's year-end report. The historic district was beat out by No. 1 Soho in London, No. 2 Chueca in Madrid, and No. 3 West Hollywood in Los Angeles County. Rounding out the top five was Paris' Le Marais. "Grindr Unwrapped isn't just another year-end list — it's the pulse of queer pop culture," the company stated. "Voted on by thousands of users worldwide, the list honors the icons, moments, and vibes that defined the LGBTQ+ community in 2024." The report also stated that the United States has the third highest percentage of tops in the world, beat out by No. 1 Jordan and No. 2 Greece. Rounding out the top five were No. 4 Singapore and No. 5 Peru. South Africa led the list of countries with the most bottoms, followed by South Korea, Japan, Vietnam, and Denmark. The Bay Area Reporter reported in 2023 on that year's report that the U.S. led the world in daddies. According to "The Joy of Gay Sex" third edition by Charles Silverstein and Felice Picano, "in the gay scene, daddies tend to have certain physical characteristics: salt-and-pepper and sometimes thinning hair; facial and chest hair; faces that show maturity." This is still the case in 2024, with the land of the free followed by Australia, Trinidad and Tobago, Venezuela, and Canada. The U.S. also led the world in "top countries who love nudes," followed by Finland, Australia, Canada, and Norway. Trans was the second most popular tag searched on the app, bested only by "hung," and followed on the list by "bb" (bareback), dom, and feet. There were 9.5 billion taps sent on the app in 2024 thus far (a tap is a notification sent to another user indicating potential interest). https://www.ebar.com/story.php?ch=bartab&sc=sexuality&id=336884&title=lgbtq_agenda:_castro_is_no_4_gayborhood_of_the_year,_grindr_states_in_year-end_report_

I didn't send out any cards this year, so don't think that I forgot you!