Elite_XL

Good question! I can only speak for myself of course, but there are a few answers here. The first thing is I genuinely love meeting new people as well as sex and physical connection; that’s what drew me to the work in the first place. It’s a great learning experience to be meeting guys of many different backgrounds and lifestyles rather than just living in the bubble in which I might otherwise find myself. In terms of initiating contact, it helps that I’m an empath and within a few minutes can generally discern the type of person he is inside. Everyone in this world has beautiful and interesting parts to his character, so I look for that and connect with it. Most people despite their flaws are good people who mean well and are trying their best. We’re never the villains in our own stories. Once I figure out the lense through which someone views the world, I can understand his behavior, even when we’re very different people. I also think about the fact he likely works really hard for the money he’s spending and how everyone deserves to feel seen, understood, and appreciated—especially those of who reach out to me. They deserve connection and compassion much more than the rest of you who have not, obviously. In terms of physical performance, just the act of being tuned in to someone mentally usually gets me aroused, but of course there are a variety of pharmacologic tools from pills to injectables as fall backs. During the encounter, I can say that it’s very easy to enjoy myself with clients. Hooking up from some dating app can have me deep in my head and focused on my insecurities and what the other guy is thinking, etc, which can make it hard to relax and be present; however, when I’m with a client, there’s something very validating and liberating in the knowledge that he finds value in my company and selected me from a catalog of gorgeous men, and that sense of being chosen usually makes me feel even more connected and appreciative of what we’re able to provide each other. I don’t mean financial or physical but the mutual feeling of acceptance and validation.
I can’t think of times I’ve actually been appalled by a client except for when related to certain behaviors. For example very early on when I started, I had a client ask for a lower rate to simply use some toys on me with no sex, which seemed reasonable at the time; however, without kissing or foreplay he began penetrating me with a dildo in such a rough and dispassionate way, I eventually told him I was uncomfortable, and he didn’t have to pay me anything if we could please stop. He replied “you know we have the ability to rate you on RentMen, right?” I let the session continue to preserve my five-star rating, but that was the moment I stopped considering discounts or other variables and basing the rate strictly on my time. Aside from threatening comments like that or refusal to pay agreed rates after a long session, it would be hard for me to find a client appalling, especially based solely on appearance. We’re all much more similar than we are different.
Anyway, this is only my experience, but hopefully it gives some insight into how we try to quickly connect with a new client and still create a meaningful encounter.

Generally, it is how each one of us is wired. I get easily aroused from touch and intimacy, while something that puts me off is the smell and hygiene. It differs from one person to another.
It does have a lot to do with making the provider feel valued. If there is pressure or tension, dont expect us to perform properly. 

Seems like a job for couples therapy. Hah 
Jokes aside. I cant really speak for him but, It does seem like he is hurt by one of the two, the money or that you were seeing someone else.
 

Generally, it is how each one of us is wired. I get easily aroused from touch and intimacy, while something that puts me off is the smell and hygiene. It differs from one person to another.
It does have a lot to do with making the provider feel valued. If there is pressure or tension, dont expect us to perform properly. 

I couldn't do the job but I'm very grateful to find men who do and do it well.

that is valuable info to hear.  i absolutely love the intimate part of the experience and my regulars seem to share your viewpoint.  
I hope they know I value them.. I do say it every now and then to all, but I also try to show it when we are together.  It is funny because I have a regular who is amazing in the bedroom, and he works a physically demanding 9-5 job.  When we first met, he liked being the alpha, but after a few sessions I now get him to relax for part of the session and let me work on him!  He seems to love it and it turns me on that he loves it.

Yes. 
But this is like comparing apples to oranges, because I have sex with my accountant for free 🥳 

Generally, it is how each one of us is wired. I get easily aroused from touch and intimacy, while something that puts me off is the smell and hygiene. It differs from one person to another.
It does have a lot to do with making the provider feel valued. If there is pressure or tension, dont expect us to perform properly. 

Seems like a job for couples therapy. Hah 
Jokes aside. I cant really speak for him but, It does seem like he is hurt by one of the two, the money or that you were seeing someone else.
 

It has been quite helpful to understand different perspectives on how people might view companionship. It definitely differs based on experience, personal needs, background, culture, and economic situation. 
Important to clarify, just because the companionship is transactional, it does not mean that the provider doesn’t want to be there. It is still a job that requires emotional presence, sustained attention, and social performance.
You don’t tell an employee that they are only at your company because of the money. If you do actually think that, you need to reevaluate some things.
Key points drawn from this. Providers side:
- Providers reject the idea that companionship should be free.
- Any unpaid time is a personal choice, not an obligation or industry norm.
- Protecting boundaries is a business necessity and an emotional safeguard.
From the Clients Side:
- Most clients accept and respect paying for that time.
- Emotional discomfort arises not from the cost itself, but from what the cost symbolises.
- Clients value off-the-clock moments.
The dominant conclusion seems to be:
Time is paid unless explicitly stated otherwise. Off-the-clock time is a gift, not a right. Clarity and communication preserves dignity on both sides.
It is a sensitive topic as it sits at the intersection of money, desire, ego, fantasy, and emotional labor. Neither side wants to feel used, misunderstood, or devalued.

As a professional, my hourly rate is flat notwithstanding the occasion. So I will gladly adopt the same approach ie pay whatever rate the provider quoted. If the provider quoted different rate for sex/ non-sex activities, thats 100% his discretion. What I can decide is whether I have the necessary financial means to pay. If not, keep browsing.
On the topic of off-clock activities, thats entirely up to the provider, he is the decision maker. If not discussed upfront, best assume its 'on-clock'. 
One of my regular would pick/drop me from/to airport free of charge whenever I visit his city - he offered and made it clear that it would be 'off-clock'. 

There are rent-a-friend websites where you can pay a fraction of what you would pay a sex worker if that's all you wanted.
If you wanted to pay a particular guy because you find him attractive and it might lead to more, I think you should be prepared close to their going rate.  
If you truly want platonic friendships, rent one from a non-erotic site.
I think after you have a relationship with a provider and you both enjoy each other's company, it's possible that the provider might enjoy a meal or event with you and have you just pick up the tab. Providers are people, just like clients. They aren't emotionless drones. They may be better able to avoid emotional attachment caused by sex, but their type of work gets to know you in a way that most of your friends even don't and that can be bonding in its own way.

Hey there,
I am actually quite open to it. I just generally tend to end up topping most of the time. However, I do enjoy bottoming or flipping.
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Also, thank you guys for the kind words. Quite appreciate it.
If anyone has any questions that I could answer. Feel free to hit me up. Happy holidays!

Hey there,
I am actually quite open to it. I just generally tend to end up topping most of the time. However, I do enjoy bottoming or flipping.
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Also, thank you guys for the kind words. Quite appreciate it.
If anyone has any questions that I could answer. Feel free to hit me up. Happy holidays!

It was quite the fun we had! Still got some things left to explore 😜

It was quite the fun we had! Still got some things left to explore 😜

It was quite the fun we had! Still got some things left to explore 😜

Seems like a job for couples therapy. Hah 
Jokes aside. I cant really speak for him but, It does seem like he is hurt by one of the two, the money or that you were seeing someone else.
 

That is definitely not what I meant and Im sorry if I worded it wronglyor caused misunderstanding.
My point was that there is a mixed understanding on what the duties of a provider are, whether its for companionship or merely sex. Both of which can be demanding in their own way. 
Some seem to have an understanding for providers to be strictly for sex, which is fine. However, when one asks to spend extra time with them. The rate is something that should be clarified. 

If it's a mutual like then the provider might see it differently but at times the like is more "one-sided".  By that I mean the client feels something while the provider doesn't.  It's part of the job of the provider to make each client feel special.  If it's something that you'd expect that the provider doesn't charge their regular rate then before arranging something make sure you talk with the provider and make that known.  The provider could be fine with it or want to keep it strictly business, meaning they still charge the rate for their time.  It shouldn't be off-putting rather it gives you the answer you are looking for, move onto the next provider.

I do agree that this is a bit of a controversial topic that seems to differ in preferences. 
There are also lines in the relationship that can get blurred quite easily and very quickly. One sided lines where emotions get intertwined between the client and the provider. Expectations shift, and its complex to walk back into what it was before.
There are times where it is mentioned about meeting off the clock, which is fine, as long as it is told. Other times, it is not mentioned whatsoever. When it is not mentioned, thats when expectations arise, miscommunications happen and one party gets upset.
Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

I usually hire travelers and usually early in the evening.  After the initial festivities have been completed, I sometimes will ask the provider to join me off the clock.  I offer the invitation very specifically as off the clock. If the provider says yes, it is likely that he does not have another client in the near future and he has to eat anyway and he knows he is going to get a nice meal at a good restaurant.  I consider it as a tip and I do not expect anything in return.  If he does not wish to have a meal with me or if other plans supercede, that is fine too.  I do not mind eating alone or to making a meal for myself.  
 

As a client, I always expect to pay the provider’s asked rate, whether we are going out to dinner or just cuddling or fucking. I cover all expenses for the time also. 
 
As a consultant, I charge by the hour, no matter if I’m just sitting in a meeting or building an app. I’m getting paid for my time and my expertise. I see no difference between my situation and providers. 
 
 

My question to both of you guys is about the general expectation, when and if, there is a meeting more towards companionship rather than anything sexual.
The reason for asking this is that, I get the impression that it should be relatively free because we are being invited to a place to spend time with them while having the dinner or whatever being paid for.
What would also be the thought of a provider on this. Would you charge your regular rate, discounted or depends on the situation? If so, how much?
Keep in mind that Im asking for general curiosity and to understand both perspectives. I see it as still being a job for a provider, as we need to tune into the general conversation and vibe. Either way, let me know what your thoughts are.

Just for clarity. We can see how many each profile has viewed us overtime, including clicking on our phone numbers. Maybe that could give you a hint.