Elite_XL

I guess you can blame the internet and the hook up culture for most of that. I don’t think you can really do much about it unless RM or some new website adds more security measures. I am baffled sometimes by the clients that text me with a “so what you into?” text as if this was Grindr lol Have you considered doing the hotel by hours instead of by whole day to save some $? I know there were some sites that offer that. I get your point though. Your situation is quite different to mine and when Id travel, I would book a hotel for the stay and split it with a buddy of mine. We both would work around schedules to host.

As a provider myself, I might agree on some of the things with you. The dismissive and flaky clients that text you with no intention of actually meeting up? You got that everywhere, even on Grindr. However, with those you can usually tell that they have no actual intent of meeting up. Some of them get off of the idea of hiring someone. Find the pattern and move on. Same day appointments. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t. I feel like you could be over complicating it sometimes by asking too much. If you are available cool, go get your buck, if not then just say no. Not even sure why get so upset about it. Except for the typical 2-4am ones that text you lol Cities and States. This is a good one. Each city and state has a different market that caters to different kinks, preferences, races, pictures… you name it. If you see that some location does not work for you, change your pictures or even description. An example is, New York might cater more to the party/kinky vibe. Miami might cater more to Latino boys. Another thing greatly influences this is which season of the year you decide to travel to each city and state. A lot of people tend to travel outside during winter. You don’t want to go to places like Chicago, right? As for deposits, I don’t see the point of asking for a deposit if you are doing an incall. Unless, in rare cases, the client is being weird or communicates in a weird way. Usually I just do it for outcalls. The only ones that I have seen are the idiots trying to pass by sugar daddies or the clothing companies wanting to give you merch.

I personally just prefer giving the client the option of paying a deposit or ordering the uber, if I am asked to go to on an outcall. Although, that does that like a shitty move on the providers end. If you guys were regulars he could have just been upfront with you about his situation.

I suppose some people just don’t know how or don’t bother with responding. This one is probably the funniest interaction I have had so far.

I would say, try to mindful of your emotions. Don’t just ignore them but understand what you are feeling and why. Remember why you are hiring someone and that this is their job. If you realize that you are catching feelings, acknowledge it, and take a step back or even distance yourself for some time. If you prefer, try to share it with the provider so you don’t lose the connection either way. If there are feelings from both sides, then great. Take it from there.

It depends on where you found the guy. I have ran into scammers on places like grindr that say they do massages but in reality they just want to rip you off.

Surely you can ask the provider if they could shave it off if that is a big turn off for you. I would first ask to see pictures to see how they look without it. Might be an even bigger turn off 😂 Unfortunately, beards just don’t look good on some people or they don’t know how to shave it around properly. Ignorance is bliss though

Don’t put me in the chopping block for it. My block list is likely on the single digit number. It was mostly for people that had no clear intentions of meeting up. Either way, I was giving them a different perspective on what we see on the site and why they might act the way they did. Most of the time, I was being proactive to people that request my private album or that have checked my profile several times and are in the area. You can either sit there or make a move to try and break the ice. I choose the later. I can’t read your mind if you find that to be invasive, and Im sorry if it made you feel that way. As for the others that might do it more often than not. They could be annoyed by the message notifications from rent masseur site for each time someone views their profile. (I don’t think you can disable that). Some might not like it when you request their private album that leads to nothing. I could sit here for a while and try to un puzzle each ones way of thinking and behaving. While not coming to any relative conclusion. At some point, I even got blocked by an actual client after meeting up to then have them reach out to me again for another meeting from a different number. People have their own shenanigans going on in their heads. This one? Perhaps didn’t want to have anything connected to me afterwards. Who tf knows. Whether OP or whoever got blocked, thats too bad. Move on and try to find someone else that fits you. Try to understand their perspective, see if you could have been offensive in any way and learn from it. Conclusion, I would rather have someone reach out with clear expectation and communication. If you can’t meet now but want to in the future. Its fine, just say it. You are far and want to know when Im going to travel to your city? Ask. Want to know what Im into? Ask.

It really depends on how you approach the conversation. If its very far out, then yes, we will most likely not give much thought into it. I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt to the client before assuming that he is a flake. I have seen both ends, the time wasters and the ones that actually apologize if plans changed. The latter is understandable. Unfortunately, there are also providers with massive egos that need it to be stroked. Which would probably just ignore you. I don’t mind it when it’s on the same day. However, that might mean I am unable to host and can only travel. Preferably if its with a day in advance. If you would want me to fly somewhere and meet you there, then atleast a week would be ideal. There it would a deposit for obvious reasons.

I sometimes check to see the profiles that visited me, if it has been multiple times, I will reach out to them. If I dont get an answer back, I will either block or ignore it as they are not serious probably.

Generally, it is how each one of us is wired. I get easily aroused from touch and intimacy, while something that puts me off is the smell and hygiene. It differs from one person to another. It does have a lot to do with making the provider feel valued. If there is pressure or tension, dont expect us to perform properly.

It has been quite helpful to understand different perspectives on how people might view companionship. It definitely differs based on experience, personal needs, background, culture, and economic situation. Important to clarify, just because the companionship is transactional, it does not mean that the provider doesn’t want to be there. It is still a job that requires emotional presence, sustained attention, and social performance. You don’t tell an employee that they are only at your company because of the money. If you do actually think that, you need to reevaluate some things. Key points drawn from this. Providers side: - Providers reject the idea that companionship should be free. - Any unpaid time is a personal choice, not an obligation or industry norm. - Protecting boundaries is a business necessity and an emotional safeguard. From the Clients Side: - Most clients accept and respect paying for that time. - Emotional discomfort arises not from the cost itself, but from what the cost symbolises. - Clients value off-the-clock moments. The dominant conclusion seems to be: Time is paid unless explicitly stated otherwise. Off-the-clock time is a gift, not a right. Clarity and communication preserves dignity on both sides. It is a sensitive topic as it sits at the intersection of money, desire, ego, fantasy, and emotional labor. Neither side wants to feel used, misunderstood, or devalued.

Sounds good. Looking forward to it!

That is definitely not what I meant and Im sorry if I worded it wronglyor caused misunderstanding. My point was that there is a mixed understanding on what the duties of a provider are, whether its for companionship or merely sex. Both of which can be demanding in their own way. Some seem to have an understanding for providers to be strictly for sex, which is fine. However, when one asks to spend extra time with them. The rate is something that should be clarified.

I do agree that this is a bit of a controversial topic that seems to differ in preferences. There are also lines in the relationship that can get blurred quite easily and very quickly. One sided lines where emotions get intertwined between the client and the provider. Expectations shift, and its complex to walk back into what it was before. There are times where it is mentioned about meeting off the clock, which is fine, as long as it is told. Other times, it is not mentioned whatsoever. When it is not mentioned, thats when expectations arise, miscommunications happen and one party gets upset. Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

I have only blocked people that seem to be only chatting and asking vague questions but not showing an actual intent when it comes to meeting up. Other than that, I understand if someone is far and they might be checking out for future trips. However, if you are serious about it. I would rather have you text me and ask if it matches with your expectations .

My question to both of you guys is about the general expectation, when and if, there is a meeting more towards companionship rather than anything sexual. The reason for asking this is that, I get the impression that it should be relatively free because we are being invited to a place to spend time with them while having the dinner or whatever being paid for. What would also be the thought of a provider on this. Would you charge your regular rate, discounted or depends on the situation? If so, how much? Keep in mind that Im asking for general curiosity and to understand both perspectives. I see it as still being a job for a provider, as we need to tune into the general conversation and vibe. Either way, let me know what your thoughts are.

It was quite the fun we had! Still got some things left to explore 😜

Seems like a job for couples therapy. Hah Jokes aside. I cant really speak for him but, It does seem like he is hurt by one of the two, the money or that you were seeing someone else.

Just for clarity. We can see how many each profile has viewed us overtime, including clicking on our phone numbers. Maybe that could give you a hint.

Can you elaborate or give some more context on what he could be upset about? Whether its the review, donation or him just being jealous that you’ve seen someone else. Either way, as a worker on this field. We are also humans, I personally ran into situations where I get bombed on how great it has been spending time with me to dead silence afterwards. It can be upsetting but id rather hear stuff upfront. Its just an example of what I’ve experienced. Might give you another perspective to understand him better.

I am residing in DC. I usually am in the area

Oh thank you! Yeah, I can imagine some sparks might go off every now and then… Well, each to their own type of fun but hopefully outside of the forum 😜

Thank you! Lets try to have a fun time. Does anyone know how to take off the mod verification before each post, or is that for everyone?

Unless you are going to tell me that a bit in advance or I am actually still awake at that time and you are going to make it worth the time for a couple of hours. Then yes, I would take it. Another reason could be is that if they see that you are typing a bit weird while drunk and they sense it. They can automatically consider it as fake or a flake