former lurker

If you become a regular reading on this forum, you'll discover that there are certain "triggers" that many posters jump on to infer all sorts of things. Changing names of escorts is one such trigger. Many regular posters assume that a name change is the escort's way of distancing himself from a bad review. I think that assumption is often erroneous as there are many reasons an escort may change names (he goes into porn, for example, and wants to be recognized so he changes to his porn name, or he uses a different name for a different website as a means of tracking which sites prompt business, etc.). In your case, you already explained part of the reasons for changing names (clients assumed you were located in Alabama rather than Nashville). I hope that helps to answer your question.

Escorting is not a "job" in the same sense that teaching, especially in the public schools, is a job. An escort has clients, not an employer. It's a "profession" that operates outside the law and thus isn't regulated. It's not governed by laws, licensing requirements or collectively bargained contracts. If an escort fails to meet your expectations, you don't hire him. But he doesn't risk losing his "job" the way a teacher does for misconduct and repeated unprofessional behavior. Although in theory teachers are held accountable, in practice many are not. I say this as the child and nephew of teachers (great ones). I had teachers who, toward the end of their careers, were clearly weary of dealing with high schoolers. A few became petty, snide and vindictive toward some of their students. The issue wasn't pressed, except in one case where a teacher had an epic meltdown in class and then promptly retired. Others were tolerated long past the point when they should have been nudged into retirement.

Exactly. Worse still are those who clients who book an appointment and then gather further information and decide to renege.

I appreciate the clarification about who started the thread. You're exactly right to say the OP shouldn't be denied input because a subsequent poster hijacked the thread.

Who are "they" and who is "53"? Tristan is 37 per his rentmen profile. Peter is 31 or 32, I think.

Gerontophilia? You're referring to two men in their early 30s, not pensioners and the elderly. You have every right to express your view. Just as others have the right to form impressions of you based on your expressed views. Hire who you want. It's the trashing of 30-something hunks in their prime that I found off-putting. While you're on the subject of gerontophilia, why not consider whether that's what you hope to find in an escort -- some young thing attracted to an aged man whose peers are all focused on their declining health.

Your posts are confusing. Tristan and Peter, both in their early 30s, are old enough to be your "father", while men your "own age" talk about blood tests and prostate cancer screening, typically not issues for men in their 30s, and more likely to crop up late 60s or so. Some young men are fresh with ideas, often those ideas are hypothetical and transitory because they're not based on education or experience but on rough impressions. You're also less likely to find a safe bet for a multi-day experience if you look at younger guys exclusively as they don't have the same track record to rely upon. But it's your dime. You might be a bit less caustic and dismissive about guys like Tristan and Peter who have proven themselves again and again to be good guys and a great time. Think what you want, but you don't need to share every shallow view with the rest of us. You're less likely to receive thoughtful responses if you demonstrate a poor/snide personality in your posts.

If it's the guy I'm thinking of, he did three scenes for Sean Cody under the name '"Joe", one solo, one with a guy named "Kipper" and one with "Addison", the murderer you referenced.

As an attorney, I can confirm the gist of your point. There are other potential claims, but not for "outing" -- for misappropriation of name/image/brand, copyright infringement, etc. Those claims depend on theft of owned images and reproducing them or publishing them. It would be a stretch to call this scenario a violation of intellectual property rights. The core bad act -- sending images/info to people close to him -- hints at defamation, but truth is an absolute defense to defamation. Then there is the practical aspect -- any lawsuit would only further publicize what he wants to keep under wraps.

Okay. Let's see if I can get this right. Your initial post called the exchange "weird". You never used the word "rude", but you disagreed with another poster who said his response was "polite". I interpret your rejection of the word "polite" as similar in kind to calling it "rude". As for the rest of what you said, I think you're being overly sensitive. You asked for feedback. You got feedback. If it's helpful, take it in. If it's not, ignore it. Keep in mind, you're posting on a board, not having a private conversation. You will get a range of responses. That's no reason to refrain from asking. As for what you could have done differently, I'd say leave the exchange at the point he said he was open to cumming only if it felt "natural". Then asking if he would "try" or if it was "off the table" got you into the pushy approach that then led to his "here we go" response. Not every provider is going to be amenable to what you want, so once he makes that clear, look elsewhere. It's certainly not my intent to "reprimand" you, just to provide a response to your question about how you could handle such situations.

Yes, he could have been nicer. But what is it you're trying to accomplish with these posts? Are you working through your own approach? Venting because your feelings were hurt? Trying to "warn" people off from the guy because of his reaction to your being pushy? You've gotten some decent feedback about the encounter. Take the feedback for what it's worth. If you're looking for vindication, you'll find some will agree with you and others will not. Do what works for you, and take the comments you find useful to heart. Where you and I differ is simply this: I wouldn't have posted about him being rude. If you wanted feedback, you could have not named the guy and just asked whether it was your pushiness, his dismissiveness, or some combination.

I know all sorts of brashness, and some of the stereotypes are rooted in fact. Go into any camera shop in NYC run by Israelis. The purveyors are stereotypically pushy and abrasive. My own Israeli relatives run the gamut from pushy to understated.

I disagree. "Here we go" followed a statement declining a willingness to cum on command. "Will you at least try" reads as disregarding the prior answer. He'd already said the gist of what you suggest. Could he have indulged the persistence by being more sauve? I suppose. Was it "unprofessional" to say "here we go", not in my view. You obviously pride yourself on how well/smoothly you communicate. That's a good asset in your line of work and in life. But the fact that another provider is less indulgent than you would be of repetitive requests doesn't render him "rude". And "here we go" doesn't, at least for me, warrant a negative post calling the provider rude.

There are a number of former SC and Corbin Fisher guys who advertise. Some that come to mind are Jack of SC (Vegas based, uses different name but a search of the Vegas listings should show him), Jax (advertises as Jax based in Tulsa), Ajay (discussed above), Aidan of SC (goes by Tryp Bates). I think Manny of SC, Aiden (current of SC), Cam of SC, etc., also advertise.

You should be clear about your expectations, and move on if those expectations differ from what is offered. But, and it's a fundamental but, don't expect you won't offend some providers by being so direct. And don't take umbrage with them if they find your directness off-putting. I know we toss off lines about it being all about what the client wants, etc., and that's generally true, but you're dealing with actual people about intimate activities, not buying a household cleaner at Home Depot. If you offended the provider, apologize and move on, and don't badmouth the provider for not reacting positively to your blunt request. If he is rude or offensive, that's one thing. This guy was not. He simply found your persistence after he was clear to be offputting.

I don't see how these texts offer any support for your position. He was polite. You were flogging a dead horse. Once he said not to plan on him cumming, you persisted with "is it off the table". You also acknowledge that you were responsible for the tone of the exchange by asking the wrong questions. Unless you didn't mean that, and just said it to curry favor somehow. And if you did mean it, why the negative post in the first place?

Truth is an absolute defense to a claim for defamation. And, as Tasso says, he advertised, so he can't sue someone for stealing the images. Unless someone tried to extort money from him to keep his identity secret, there's little he can do legally. Still, what a shit thing to do to someone.

Thin skin? You routinely post harsh comments, then react snarkily when someone points out your venom. If you're going to to a prick, expect some blowback.

Nope. Nothing in the law prevents police from misrepresenting who they are, or even outright lying.

LOL. How much of a "trek" depends on where in Harlem, and whether you're taking public transportation. Harlem is among the larger sections of Manhattan land-wise, and covers a fair amount of ground. Most people consider Harlem to include West Harlem, East Harlem, and Morningside Heights, and Washington Heights -- running from the mid-high 90's to the south up to the GW Bridge. On public transit, it would add maybe 20 minutes to the commute each way if you're starting out in Midtown. By car/cab/uber, considerably more time would be added.

Thank you. I didn't follow the "code". Your post is quite helpful.

His SC "name" is Chris.

I would bet that many potential clients would jump at the chance to meet you at some neutral locations in advance of setting a closed-door appointment. Meeting for coffee or a snack would be a low-cost means of connecting in person on neutral turf.

I would bet that many potential clients would jump at the chance to meet you at some neutral locations in advance of setting a closed-door appointment. Meeting for coffee or a snack would be a low-cost means of connecting in person on neutral turf.

Kudos! I now wish I hadn't been in the midst of drafting/sending my last post as you're approach makes it unecessary.