d.anders

I'm sorry, but maybe some of you who bottom and douche regularly have reached Sahara Desert status of the butthole. In my 20's, I never needed lube for anal sex, especially after a run or a gym workout. My sweat mixed with everything else was perfect. That is how I learned to enjoy gay sex. In my 30's, I had a massage therapist who loved 20-minute butt play with no lube or oil. He was gentle and sensual as anyone could be. He absolutely loved getting me worked up. The first time he climbed on my back to slide his erection along my butt crack, his x-large condomed cock accidentally slid right in. No oil, no lube, no spit, no scream. He was more surprised than I was, but that appointment was the beginning of a fun relationship. I never bottomed very often, but he was not the only massage therapist I shared this experience with. I admit my bottom days are long over, and I'm more careful now about my butt than ever. But my memory of elevated sex has not left me, and I hope it never does. That is exactly the tone I got from this post, plus I could relate to the issue personally. Causing pain or discomfort in any way is a turn-off to me. In fact, if a guy is fucking too hard in porn, I can't watch.

They definitely don't lubricate in the way a vagina does, but many guys get moist through arousal, especially if they are groin sweaters.

I've never been a fan of lube. I learned to view it as a necessary evil. When I see it being used in porn, it's a turn-off, especially when the actors do no-edit oral without washing it off first. I know it can be a challenge to experience, but arousal can produce natural lubrication. Great foreplay can sometimes take care of the rest. Those are the instances when sex reached an all-time high for me. I wish I had someone to recommend, but thanks for conjuring fond memories.

Drew Starkey claims he wore a prosthetic for his nudes scenes. I wonder why? He's barely seen full-frontal, and the scene where it happens is quite dark. It happens so fast. Why would a young male actor care about this? I guess I can't blame anyone for wanting to keep their private parts private. But that's no fun. This photo from the film has been lightened. The actual scene is much darker. In the movie, you can't even see Starkey's face. They could have used a nude double, and no one would have known. I don't get it. At least someone in make-up gets the thrill of gluing the damn thing on and taking it off. Truth be told, I didn't enjoy any of the sex scenes in this film. All I could think about was their awful breath and Daniel Craig's ugly man-hands. Starkey is pretty though. He reminded me of a former college boyfriend, without the eyeglasses. Fond memories.

That's exactly where my mind went. Wearing a shirt in water draws more attention to you, which is why Nathan Lane immediately stood out in the hot-tub scenes. His fellow actors were shirtless, and the writers had to write something into the script about his "being that way since childhood." I get that Nathan may not want to be shirtless standing next to Matt Bomer. Fully clothed, I'd have a difficult time standing next to Matt Bomer. I'm curious how those conversations with the creators went, when they told Nathan there would be hot-tub scenes.

I finally saw it last night. What a disappointment. Now I know what my friends were talking about. Boring is an understatement. Perhaps the whole thing went over my head. Other than serious addictions, I have no idea what this film was about, or its connection to anything queer. None of it made any sense to me. The only moment I found sexy was when Drew Starkey came to the door naked in the dark. I did not understand this relationship at all. Why would a young guy that good looking be interested in a heroin-addicted old man with dirty, ugly hands? There is no evidence he was motivated by money. Daniel Craig is looking rough, and in some of his drug/drunken scenes, he looks awful and behaves like a fool, as most gay drunks do. I just didn't find any of this nonsense compelling or even interesting. The ending, a complete dud. WTF? At least I got through the whole thing, unlike with Suspiria. Not sure about Luca Guadagnino anymore. Why on earth would these actors want to make this film? What was it about this story that needed to be told? I wish I could hear Luca's sales pitch to the lead actors. What happened to Jason Schwartzman? He used to be so cute. Was he wearing a fat suit? I didn't get any of the other players, and the dialogue went over my head. I need to read more about it to see what I missed. I doubt I could ever sit through it again.

That was so fabulous. I really loved that show. Hats off to Eric Stonestreet (who isn't gay) and Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Without perfect Hollywood gay bodies, they went shirtless on national TV. There is no way Nathan Lane would ever do that, and he's been honest about that for a very long time.

He's affordable? Super impressive. I watch each episode twice and I could not have written that, or conjured the questions. After awhile my brain tunes out. I think he loves fucking with his audience. He seems to be quirky that way. I'm still trying to process the image of Belinda filling her plate with food in the house of the man who murdered the woman who offered to back her business proposal, but backed out. That is some appetite. Mike White needs a vacation.

I should have said sunburn sensitivity or skin cancer does not count. If I had any of these, I would never step foot in direct sunlight. I don't think these are the issues with Nathan Lane, and I have not heard he has ugly surgery scars, which I could also understand. I was simply thinking basic vanity. Would a gay man cover his wet body in a wet area simply because he doesn't want to show himself shirtless? I love swimming naked, so I can't imagine. I have seen videos in the Middle East where the men wear those baggy pants when they swim. It's weird to me, but I did not grow up in a hyper-religious society. A good reason to avoid dipping the toes into water wherever children are present. Now we're talking. LOL.

That did it! Now I need to rob a bank.

Are there any members here who would admit to wearing torso clothing when they enter a pool or hot-tub? Seeing Nathan Lane do it in Mid-Century Modern made me wonder if there are any gay guys who would actually do this.

Maybe not enough board members have seen it yet, but I'm surprised no one has mentioned Nathan Lane's refusal to do nudity. How weird was it to see Nathan Lane wearing a t-shirt in all the hot-tub scenes? Who among us would do that? (I'm going to ask in The Lounge.) I remember listening to Nathan do an interview many, many years ago, where he said he would never take off his clothes for a role. Seeing him in the hot-tub scenes reminded me of that interview. He definitely does not want to be seen in public shirtless. How bad could it be?

I'm still thinking about last night's episode, but I can't get beyond Mike White's choice of having Belinda, who believes Gary/Greg killed Tonya, accept an invite to his home, with her beloved son in tow. What loving mother would make this stupid choice?

It sure worked for me. Linda Lavin was terrific at throwing zingers and making a Maude face. She had millions of Broadway theater fans. That's my greatest fear, they're going to promote Pamela Adlon playing Mindy, and the show will go south for me.

I just wanted to say, this is a very thoughtful response. I'm assuming BFE stands for boy.friend.experience. You definitely exhibit this skill in your talented writing. There are a few statements that stand out for me: People evaluate looks all the time, especially gay men. You don't even have to visit the photo galleries here to experience the intensity. Evaluation is with us every day of our lives. Hello Grindr. There seems to be no escaping it, especially now in this Instagram age. Many of us have become socially wired to be insecure about our looks, especially as aging gay men. I applaud you for sharing your approach on how to rid us all of this hurtful scourge to our precious self-esteem. When I worked in corporate, we had code names for certain types of clients. Maybe someone should start a "Crazy" thread, where hopefully serious providers can share their honest definition of that word with us. List every detail that qualifies. The trouble is, one man's crazy can easily be distorted by an impatient, uncaring, non-professional. For example, I have 4 important (to me) questions that I usually ask. The provider may not realize it, but all my questions have to do with my personal health concerns, and nothing to do with sex. I often feel lucky if I get 1 answer, and some have branded me crazy for asking more than 1 question. LOL. This sentiment is very touching, and shows a lot of heart. I wish I knew more people in this life who had a lot of heart. Photos of my current naked body do scare me, because I remember just yesterday what I once looked like. I no longer "fear" the provider response, I've had to learn how to accept rejection. I prefer to accept rejection on my terms. I also don't want anyone feeling bad for me, because I have accepted my old age, and all the vane suffering that comes with it. I view acceptance as a triumph to be celebrated, not leaving anyone feeling bad. @DamizzonNYC, thanks a lot for offering such a great post.

Since they played the mother as having died, I doubt they would go the soap opera route and bring her back to life as a new actress. For the writers, I imagine it would be very awkward to pluck a woman from thin air and offer her Sybil's bedroom. For a creative, this is not a fun place to be. Cybil Shepard is way too pretty to have spawned the looks of a Nathan Lane. Much like Will & Grace, this show may not be fun viewing for every gay. However, I thought the previews sucked, and promoted possible doom. Once I started watching, the characters immediately grew on me, and many of the jokes had me laughing out loud.

No one should be sending photos from their last shoot with Annie Leibovitz. 🙂 The photos I send are awful quality, no face, and they are small in pixel size. They are worthless. They do provide enough visual information (where it's better than nothing or just words), and that's really all that matters. I once had a decent gym body. I no longer have that. I once had smooth skin. No longer. Funny thing is, my junk hasn't changed much, and many guys have told me it was attractive. So I put my best foot forward (and I have handsome feet). Most professional providers, yes. I wouldn't hold my breath on the non-pro types. I would say most of those are just looking for easy money, or sex that turns them on. Being cynical, if a supposed hottie is asking for a photo, it's a red flag that your age and appearance will matter for booking, or even a call back.

I did assume that. But how does one truly know intent? I suppose in the escort sense, discrimination would be very difficult to prove, and who among us would dare bring a case? LOL.

I know this probably doesn't apply here, but I wonder if there are actual legal restrictions or ramifications to asking for a photo, depending on the state. When I worked in corporate, we were not allowed to ask potential hires to submit a photo with a resume due to liability issues. I don't know if this liability issue still exists, but I wonder if there is a law covering the service sector. Can a beauty salon or massage spa ask for a customer photo before booking an appointment? My profile has it too, but I don't think they allow nudity. I don't like surprises, so I voluntarily offer a nude photo. If a provider has no desire to touch my body, I prefer to know about this before I lie on the table or pay for a service.

Hell no. If I had to show my body naked, my circle would be black. Lights off.

It is very interesting how they handled Lavin's death and completed the last episode of the season without her. Can't help but wonder about the future of this show. Will it survive without her? Can it survive without a strong, older, female character as part of the ensemble? I had forgotten how talented Lavin was. She has quite a history in show business, and her presence on this show gave it a lot of gravitas. It sure was nice to see Judd Hirsch and Rhea Perlman again. Lavin's character created an easy space to feature these older actors doing guest spots. I think many of us older gays would appreciate that nostalgia. Richard Kind was fabulous, too. This show is a great acting opportunity for talented men (and women) actors to play gay. I'm not a fan of Pamela Adlon. She is talented, but she burned me out in Californication and Louie. I would have preferred a different actress playing Mindy. I'm hearing from friends who are disappointed with Matt Bomer's performance. They are not getting his casting. He's far from Betty White, but I love the fact that he's channeling her. They did end up giving him blond highlights, and I think he's doing a terrific job. Definitely ready for Season 2. Will it happen? Will we have to wait 3 years?

Some guys have to learn the hard way that being kept may not be what it's cracked up to be. Relationships can be complicated when folks are near equals. The complications can increase when they are not. Not every man is equipped to lose his independence or willing to be controlled by another. These days, being kept seems like a dated concept. Very 70's. In NYC now, it's easier to get through TSA with a rifle then it is to secure a signed lease.

Just finished Episode 9 and I can't stop sobbing. God bless Linda Lavin.

I just Googled, "Are verbal agreements ever legally binding?" Several law sites had interesting responses. I would still try to find a lawyer and sue. Diddy has super-deep pockets.

The massage may not need to be kept secret. The risk is bringing home an STD from a stranger, and keeping that interaction a secret.