DWnyc

Several providers have told me they got into the business because of situations like this. Showed there’s a market for their talents and gifts. That may also explain some of the providers describing themselves as straight.

Old thread and you likely have the answer lol. East Side still open, West Side Club closed permanently

Coming back to the question of asking for a picture and is it ok. As some voices in this thread can attest, there are some triggers if it is felt this is a screener and enough experience from many to suggest it may well be. While understandable in a blind hookup situation, I think there is a difference if this is felt in a “professional” context. Providers can’t have it both ways - wanting the respect they say they do (eg see elsewhere the threads on clients wasting their time, time is $, clients don’t understand this isn’t a hookup it’s their livelihood etc) if they also blur the line between professional services and personal choice.

That’s totally fine and your prerogative as long as in line with applicable laws. And I’m sure you can find ways to maintain selectivity bypassing laws if needed, as everyone else can do as well. That’s not a personal dig at you - I know nothing about you - just saying that it’s a minefield we all navigate whether or not we realize. And if anyone finds your practices - or those of any other business provider - worthy of public discussion they should have the right to do so as well.

Ok … what’s then the standard of professionalism in this business? Being able to service someone willing to pay (as long as there is no danger, craziness etc) - or servicing only those of that individuals choosing? I’d say fine if the provider wants to be selective on whatever criteria they choose - but then they should be prepared to have that discussed and exposed if they don’t publicize it. And deal with the repercussions. I wouldn’t shop at a store that says “I have the right not to serve people above the age of X, of this race or religion, of X weight …” even if I would be allowed in there.

I’d like to add that in some cases there can be a toxic element to this as well. For instance, I have heard from several friends of color that the minute they’ve sent a photo everything goes quiet or they’re even blocked whether on phone or on the app. And it may be that they’re asked for a picture more than others are because of something that arises in the back and forth (eg if the provider searches for their phone number or address and sees some identifying marker). One friend showed me a text exchange with a New York provider who switched immediately from a flirty playful tone to saying “I’ve had bad experiences with people like you so I’m going to have to pass”. If a provider said something like m, “Since you will be coming to my apartment I’d like a picture for security purposes” that would be one thing (even if cloaking a means of filtering out races, ages, body types etc they didn’t want to service). But just asking for a photo without further explanation deserves discussion. If a barber, a dentist, a waiter, apartment manager etc said I need to see a picture of you before I take an appointment or reservation, I think we’d be more inclined to speak up about why this can be dangerous. Not to mention that even if the motives are “innocent” how it can trigger sensitive reactions.

In an ideal world both sides would have equal respect for the other. Clients wouldn’t think they “own” a provider who must show eternal gratitude as they are so generous to engage them. Providers wouldn’t think they are rescuing desperate people who have no other options either with other providers or in “real life”. Part of this whole discussion is about the likely 90%+ instances where that equal respect isn’t actually there - on one or both sides as well as the business reality of making a sale in a competitive market with options. Clients and providers both need to understand they are not irreplaceable to the other. I’ve met great providers where I’ve felt something close to empathy when they’ve described frustrations with clients - I’ve also met those who are arrogant, narcissistic, prejudiced, not to mention very short sighted (from a business perspective) in how they interact with clients. No right answer here - people are people and always will be.

So in answer to the original posted question - yes, yes and yes! Ask anyone in sales or biz dev or marketing type roles in any industry and have them tell you how often they close a sale with just one conversation. People shouldn’t be selling (anything) if they don’t understand how the free market works. And I definitely think there is something in this industry that pushes many providers to take on a particularly stand-offish tone - “I don’t need you, but you need me …”. And depending on the specifics of the client - age, appearance etc - this can fast descend into bullying. Providers have horror stories about bad clients? So do clients about providers.

His link is here: https://rentmen.eu/MaxxStraightTop He’s in New York now and it seems traveling across the country. I’ve met him twice, and right from the start he was exceptionally attentive and the “straight” part is really him just being upfront (you’re more likely to get a fist bump than a hug when you leave) and opening up some hot scenarios. The provider experience was on par with / exceeded some of the best I’ve had. The key was to have an open discussion on expectations up front. I’ll add that he is just an exceptionally nice guy - sounds cliched but is part of the unique experience. He was also very gracious and generous in his time and juggling appointments. Definitely worth checking out.