spidir

No.    I have a few friends I met here on the forum who I openly discuss with, but not outside of this forum - there is too much judgement and negativity about the topic.

The subject rarely came up in casual conversation when I was younger, because it seemed to be taken for granted that you were a loser if you had to pay for it. However, I joined this site when I was in my late 50s, because it was a place to discuss the subject in an objective manner. Of course, that was about the time that the Internet was invented, which changed the way a lot of things were discussed.

I think there are varying levels to the bigotry in someone’s mind that has a tough time accepting non hetero normative concepts. 
 
I come from an extremely bigoted family. Oddly, it isn’t rooted in religion, they just really believe that straight white people are superior and anyone with melanin in their skin is less than. 
 
My cousins and I, along with one of my 3 brothers openly talk about this and have committed to being better for the next generation of our family. 2 brothers can’t break the cycle but one suffers from sever alcoholism and will be dead soon so we take the victories where we can get them. 
 
Anyway, back in 2002 my lone female cousin fell for a black man. He was lovely and I enjoyed him a lot. We decided as a team, she’d come out to the family as being in an interracial relationship and I’d come out as gay, surmising that if we were shunned we’d at least have each other, and best case, the combined reality of our “evolution” would force all of our parents into acceptance. 
 
It didn’t go as planned. On the scale of things that were unacceptable in our family, we quickly learned that our family was far more racist than homophobic. She got decimated. Every conversation went something like “yeah yeah yeah we get it you’re gay, but did you hear she’s dating a black man?”  Being gay, as long as I was not with another race was ok in their eyes. Her dating a black man was loathsome and unforgivable. I felt awful for her and such compassion. For a time she thought my intentions weren’t pure and that I somehow anticipated this reaction and used her to shield myself. I didn’t. I was as amazed at the acceptance I got as much as I was amazed at just how awful she got it.  In hindsight, I do believe that if I came out without her distraction, my reception would have been similar to hers though.
 
I think peoples’ reaction to the transgender movement is similar. “I am getting more used to gay people existing and I’m ok with that, but I’m not quite ready to learn, understand and accept the gender conversation yet.”  
 
At least that’s my experience. I even have gay friends that are transphobic. I have straight Allie’s that are wildly supportive of me as a gay man but don’t grasp trans and openly rail against it. It’s so odd to me, but it’s real. 
 
 

I'd love to smell and taste him! 😜

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