Zapped

I haven't sucked hundreds of guys, but over the years I've explored this interest, I've noticed that each guy is pretty unique.
 
Some guys love hard suction. Some like soft licks. A few guys really like a "soft" suction. Some like making you gag. Some enjoy facefucking. Some want to see your eyes or watch as their dick penetrates your mouth. Some don't want to look at your at all. Some like wet sloppy head and others want it fast and rough.
 
If you want to become a better cocksucker, learn to be a better observer. Learn to tell when a guy is excited and when he isn't. If you want, ask your top for tips, coaching, or advice, but understand that once you become a master cocksucker for that top, you will have to repeat the process for the next top. All that changes, is you'll get better and better and faster at observing what works for the guy you're sucking at the time.
 
I agree with [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER], enthusiasm is a big factor because many people suck cock like it's an obligation. To me, it's a privilege or honor. A guy is allowing you to touch the most sensitive part of his body and place it in your mouth, which is dangerous, teeth are sharp after all.

If you’re looking for an “alpha” escort, the Deli is probably a better place to ask than the Lounge where the other post is.
 
I’ve spent quite a bit of time in alpha/sub porn and writings, most of the latter fictional fantasy. There are also submissive men who identify as “faggots” in real life (not just fantasy life) and identify some men (usually, but not always, straight-identifying) as naturally/genuinely superior “true alphas,” and who see their place as serving an alpha.
 
It’s pretty clear that for some it’s not role-play with enthusiastic consent, it’s actual willing, on/going submission. And it’s distinct from master/slave relationships (although there’s overlap in the cultures) in that while master/slave relationships can be affectionate and loving, the alpha/faggot dynamic (at least at its extreme end) is rooted in superiority/inferiority and humiliation of the “faggot.” I’ve seen taxonomies of don/sum relationships where “faggots” are ranked lower on a scale (of masculinity? of worth?) than “slaves.”
 
This seems to become an actual reality for some guys. For me, it’s sometimes an arousing space for fantasy and role play—a place to visit rather than a place to live.
 
I imagine that some of the escorts into BDSM can do the alpha thing, but that’s probably not what you’re looking for, if you’re just looking for a natural, genuine alpha whose not necessarily into BDSM. Certainly there are a lot of escorts who can be very dominant. I’m not aware of any specific one who identifies as a “true alpha” as it seems to me to be understood in the alpha/faggot subculture. But there may be some, and you may hear from them.

Oh, man, if you are into genuine rough trade, you aren't going to find from advertising escorts. Seek and ye shall find, and please remember that it's a really, really dangerous hobby. That power/exploitation dynamic can fuel violence, and there are plenty of sociopaths and psychopaths out there.

In all my years of sporadic lurking and posting here, the issue of kickbacks or discounts or other compensation to clients for reviews has never come up, at least that I recall. Sometimes there have been suspicions about positive reviews from first-time reviewers, especially when all the reviews are from first-time reviewers and they are worded (or misworded) similarly.

In all my years of sporadic lurking and posting here, the issue of kickbacks or discounts or other compensation to clients for reviews has never come up, at least that I recall. Sometimes there have been suspicions about positive reviews from first-time reviewers, especially when all the reviews are from first-time reviewers and they are worded (or misworded) similarly.

I just came here to eat popcorn and watch a weak attempt at character assassination

Charlie, you may have missed one other option.
 
Your choice of what you do could also depend exclusively on what you yourself think about it and your degree of comfort with who you are and what you are wearing.
 
Use yourself as a compass. We will never be able to please them all. They will always find a disgusting flaw in us, so you might as well just do as you wish.
 
I am going to close with one of my favourite quotes of all times:
 
“We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.”
 
Olin Miller

What's wrong with Americans and speedos??....Growing up in Italy I got used to see speedos in any kind of man, muscular, skinny, normal, gorgeous or fat and ugly. Whatever you wear doesn't change who you are. At the beach wear whatever you feel more comfortable with. I live close to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn and go there often in summertime, it's absolutely refreshing and liberatory to see how most men (only Russians...) don't give a shit if they don't have a perfect body, but want to enjoy comfort on a beach.
Those ridiculous shorts/trunks that most men use are hideous, unless it's what you WANT to wear. To me they are totally uncomfortable at the beach. I have passed 50 4 years ago, I have a more than decent body and even if I didn't I would not care. I wear speedos always because I like it. If I am not in Miami Beach or in Brighton Beach I am usually one of the VERY few who wear speedos, and I don't give a damn if people are "offended" by the view of a bulge or my wrapped buttocks. People in US are super comfortable with violence, but body and sex (remember Janet Jackson's nipple?...) are taboo. Wrooong!

Yes, yes, yes. The times I have seriously contemplated suicide, it looked to me like my family and friends would not only be better off without me, they'd be happy to be rid of me. Distorted, delusional thinking I realize now.
 
In my most recent bout of suicidal thoughts, I still thought they'd be better off without me. At the same time, partially because I'd just been to the visitation and funeral for a colleague who committed suicide and seen the overwhelming grief and trauma, I knew it would be devastating for my family. My adult daughter knows about the earlier episode and has told me many times she'd never get over it if I were to kill myself.
 
So although I was in a lot of pain, and I thought that in some ways my spouse and adult kids would be better off without me (especially financially), I knew they would suffer and see it differently. And I decided that it was better for me to suffer than them.
 
I'm sure some people kill themselves as a kind of "fuck you" to others. At least some, I'm sure, based on my own close calls, think they are solving a problem for others.
 
Like pretty much every major decision we make in life, it's emotionally-based, not rational.
 
And, really, it's fine to be pissed as all fuck at everyone who commits suicide. Then eventually forgiveness can free us. I was really pissed at my colleague, who left behind four kids, two pre-school age. And then I thought about how close I came myself and how I thought my kids be be glad to be rid of me. I'm still pissed. But I also have some empathy and will get to forgiveness eventually.

I can only share my own experience, and here it is.
 
There have been a couple of times in my life in which I was genuinely considering suicide. In each episode, I was in a place where some part of my brain was telling me very strongly that my friends, spouse, and children would be both better off without me and happy to be rid of me.
 
It seemed like I'd be doing everyone a favor.
 
Yes, I was facing financial and other challenges at the time. But later I woke up and saw how much people loved me and that the financial challenges were things that could be dealt with (and it turned out, in my case, that bankruptcy wasn't the end of the world, but actually a helpful new start).
 
As far as outwardly successful celebrities go, yes, it doesn't make sense to us. But having known a couple of fucked-up rich and famous celebrities (at least in their own world), I can say that I've seen how big the pressures can be. You can be rich and famous and financially over-extended. You can be rich and famous and find the pressure of living up to your own reputation and past successes overwhelming and crushing. You can be rich and famous and hooked on drugs that distort your thinking. You can be rich and famous and get into a lifestyle in which you get chronically sleep deprived and that distorts your thinking. And, perhaps most tragically, you can be rich and famous and then never know if people actually care for you or only want something from you, whether that's money or simply to back in the reflected how of your fame.
 
And as far as I can tell, wealth and fame can be their own soul-destroying addictions. If some part of you thinks you are crap and you are getting rich and/or famous to compensate, each success can end up reinforcing the sense of inferiority once the initial high wears off. And there's always the fear of losing it all. I don't know anything in particular about Sade and Bourdain, or if this applies to them, but I can imagine in a more general way that the fear of becoming a "has been," which happens to every famous person sooner or later, could be terrifying.
 
I remember years ago the jovial and beloved Today show weather guy, Willard Scott, went public about his anxiety and depression. I was pretty young, and almost disbelieving that this guy who seemed so naturally at ease and warm was suffering when off camera, afraid he'd not be able to pull it off next time.
 
My anxiety can get so intense that I can hardly function sometimes, and I have a pretty low-stress life. Someone like Bourdain? With the weight of not just his own celebrity but the livelihood of everyone surrounding him? I can imagine how that stress combined with a messed-up brain chemistry and, probably, sleep deprivation could have totally distorted his thinking. (I wasn't aware of Kate Spade until she passed.)

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

I can only share my own experience, and here it is.
 
There have been a couple of times in my life in which I was genuinely considering suicide. In each episode, I was in a place where some part of my brain was telling me very strongly that my friends, spouse, and children would be both better off without me and happy to be rid of me.
 
It seemed like I'd be doing everyone a favor.
 
Yes, I was facing financial and other challenges at the time. But later I woke up and saw how much people loved me and that the financial challenges were things that could be dealt with (and it turned out, in my case, that bankruptcy wasn't the end of the world, but actually a helpful new start).
 
As far as outwardly successful celebrities go, yes, it doesn't make sense to us. But having known a couple of fucked-up rich and famous celebrities (at least in their own world), I can say that I've seen how big the pressures can be. You can be rich and famous and financially over-extended. You can be rich and famous and find the pressure of living up to your own reputation and past successes overwhelming and crushing. You can be rich and famous and hooked on drugs that distort your thinking. You can be rich and famous and get into a lifestyle in which you get chronically sleep deprived and that distorts your thinking. And, perhaps most tragically, you can be rich and famous and then never know if people actually care for you or only want something from you, whether that's money or simply to back in the reflected how of your fame.
 
And as far as I can tell, wealth and fame can be their own soul-destroying addictions. If some part of you thinks you are crap and you are getting rich and/or famous to compensate, each success can end up reinforcing the sense of inferiority once the initial high wears off. And there's always the fear of losing it all. I don't know anything in particular about Sade and Bourdain, or if this applies to them, but I can imagine in a more general way that the fear of becoming a "has been," which happens to every famous person sooner or later, could be terrifying.
 
I remember years ago the jovial and beloved Today show weather guy, Willard Scott, went public about his anxiety and depression. I was pretty young, and almost disbelieving that this guy who seemed so naturally at ease and warm was suffering when off camera, afraid he'd not be able to pull it off next time.
 
My anxiety can get so intense that I can hardly function sometimes, and I have a pretty low-stress life. Someone like Bourdain? With the weight of not just his own celebrity but the livelihood of everyone surrounding him? I can imagine how that stress combined with a messed-up brain chemistry and, probably, sleep deprivation could have totally distorted his thinking. (I wasn't aware of Kate Spade until she passed.)

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

Phyllis Diller used to do this joke in her gigs with orchestras:
 
"I was staying at the [local upscale hotel] last night and it was lovely. But the people in the next room! So noisy! At 3:00am they were yelling and banging on the walls.
 
"I kept practicing anyway!"
 
She was a very good classical pianist and did a lot of fundraising shows with orchestras.

The top one, yes. The bottom? I’d be uneasy getting in myself.

I'm not an escort, but I watch a fair amount of camming. It takes time to build a following of people who tune in when you cam. Some of the most successful ones I've seen chat with their viewers, telling them about their lives, what they are thinking. These men seem to have the most stable income as far as I can tell. PM me and I'll give you some links to some successful models, I would suggest watching them to see how they do and emulate what works for you.
 
I know this may not be your thing. I have seen some that just get on and jerk it, but but generally there are a lot of hot guys who talk, and that brings in the cash. It's (in my mind) a lot like escorting. You are there to show the client a good time, to seem to (or actually) make a connection. The viewers want that too. It's much more exciting for me when a guy talks to me or response in the chat, or even better gives me a PM.

Phyllis Diller used to do this joke in her gigs with orchestras:
 
"I was staying at the [local upscale hotel] last night and it was lovely. But the people in the next room! So noisy! At 3:00am they were yelling and banging on the walls.
 
"I kept practicing anyway!"
 
She was a very good classical pianist and did a lot of fundraising shows with orchestras.

Yes, yes, yes. The times I have seriously contemplated suicide, it looked to me like my family and friends would not only be better off without me, they'd be happy to be rid of me. Distorted, delusional thinking I realize now.
 
In my most recent bout of suicidal thoughts, I still thought they'd be better off without me. At the same time, partially because I'd just been to the visitation and funeral for a colleague who committed suicide and seen the overwhelming grief and trauma, I knew it would be devastating for my family. My adult daughter knows about the earlier episode and has told me many times she'd never get over it if I were to kill myself.
 
So although I was in a lot of pain, and I thought that in some ways my spouse and adult kids would be better off without me (especially financially), I knew they would suffer and see it differently. And I decided that it was better for me to suffer than them.
 
I'm sure some people kill themselves as a kind of "fuck you" to others. At least some, I'm sure, based on my own close calls, think they are solving a problem for others.
 
Like pretty much every major decision we make in life, it's emotionally-based, not rational.
 
And, really, it's fine to be pissed as all fuck at everyone who commits suicide. Then eventually forgiveness can free us. I was really pissed at my colleague, who left behind four kids, two pre-school age. And then I thought about how close I came myself and how I thought my kids be be glad to be rid of me. I'm still pissed. But I also have some empathy and will get to forgiveness eventually.

Yes, yes, yes. The times I have seriously contemplated suicide, it looked to me like my family and friends would not only be better off without me, they'd be happy to be rid of me. Distorted, delusional thinking I realize now.
 
In my most recent bout of suicidal thoughts, I still thought they'd be better off without me. At the same time, partially because I'd just been to the visitation and funeral for a colleague who committed suicide and seen the overwhelming grief and trauma, I knew it would be devastating for my family. My adult daughter knows about the earlier episode and has told me many times she'd never get over it if I were to kill myself.
 
So although I was in a lot of pain, and I thought that in some ways my spouse and adult kids would be better off without me (especially financially), I knew they would suffer and see it differently. And I decided that it was better for me to suffer than them.
 
I'm sure some people kill themselves as a kind of "fuck you" to others. At least some, I'm sure, based on my own close calls, think they are solving a problem for others.
 
Like pretty much every major decision we make in life, it's emotionally-based, not rational.
 
And, really, it's fine to be pissed as all fuck at everyone who commits suicide. Then eventually forgiveness can free us. I was really pissed at my colleague, who left behind four kids, two pre-school age. And then I thought about how close I came myself and how I thought my kids be be glad to be rid of me. I'm still pissed. But I also have some empathy and will get to forgiveness eventually.

some day we'll introduce you to the Rockhard-shopping-for-underwear thread and the Wall St-assistant-looking-for-a-very-DL-escort-for-his-boss thread.......legendary stuff

Sorry hun, I work at McDonalds.
 
Would you like fries with that?

It's incorrect according to who?
 
Most every mental health professional who have years of experience and training will tell you exactly what I said: most suicides are due to untreated mental illness - specifically depression.

I'll say again what I said previously.
 
Sure, suicide, especially as we look at it from a non-suicidal perspective, is an "easy way to escape." But to the irrational, delusional person taking their own life, it probably looks less like escape and more like a gift. This is probably hard to imagine if you haven't been there yourself.
 
For me, and from what I've read about others who have looked into this deeply, the experience was that I was problem for the others in my life. Like John Dean's phrase "a cancer on the presidency," I felt I was a cancer on the life of my family. I thought I'd be doing them a favor and that they'd be relieved. I thought they'd be glad to be rid of me, not overwhelmed with grief, anger, and self-recrimination. To me, I was a malignant tumor that should be cut out from the body of my family.
 
My dad had a cousin who when she was diagnosed with a condition that would eventually cause her to lose the use of her legs killed herself. We were so mystified and upset. I now understand (or at least project) that she didn't want to be a burden to her friends and family.
 
Now that I've said this over and over and gotten myself clear on it, the thing I'm interested in is how we as a society open up conversation about suicide, and keep it going, so that people for whom suicide does look like a gift to others can talk about it without fear. When I was seriously considering it, I didn't want to tell anyone because I was afraid I'd be committed.
 
A few weeks ago, some financial issues were really weighing on me. I'm retiring from a job at the end of this month and for the next couple of weeks there's a lot of life insurance that comes with the job. One voice in me was saying my husband and kids would be better off if I died and they each got a big chunk of money.
 
The more I kept those thoughts secret, the more intense they became. Finally I told my husband that a good bit of this insurance was going away, that I was frustrated that I hadn't generated new income streams in the way I'd wanted, and asked him if he'd rather have me or this particular amount of money. He was quite quick to assure me that he'd rather have us broke (which won't be the case) and me alive than me dead and him with enough to restart his life.
 
Well, then the whole thing lifted. Once I spoke it out loud, the nightmare ended. I'd recently been at the visitation and service for a colleague who killed himself, and I'd seen the tragic mess he'd left behind and the extraordinary grief. So I was quite in touch with the fact that it would probably be devastating to my family. Which wasn't the case 20 years ago or so when I thought I'd be giving them a gift and they would be glad to be rid of me.
 
Many of us don't feel like we can tell anyone when we're having suicidal thoughts. How do we give people the space to tell others what's going on?

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

I can only share my own experience, and here it is.
 
There have been a couple of times in my life in which I was genuinely considering suicide. In each episode, I was in a place where some part of my brain was telling me very strongly that my friends, spouse, and children would be both better off without me and happy to be rid of me.
 
It seemed like I'd be doing everyone a favor.
 
Yes, I was facing financial and other challenges at the time. But later I woke up and saw how much people loved me and that the financial challenges were things that could be dealt with (and it turned out, in my case, that bankruptcy wasn't the end of the world, but actually a helpful new start).
 
As far as outwardly successful celebrities go, yes, it doesn't make sense to us. But having known a couple of fucked-up rich and famous celebrities (at least in their own world), I can say that I've seen how big the pressures can be. You can be rich and famous and financially over-extended. You can be rich and famous and find the pressure of living up to your own reputation and past successes overwhelming and crushing. You can be rich and famous and hooked on drugs that distort your thinking. You can be rich and famous and get into a lifestyle in which you get chronically sleep deprived and that distorts your thinking. And, perhaps most tragically, you can be rich and famous and then never know if people actually care for you or only want something from you, whether that's money or simply to back in the reflected how of your fame.
 
And as far as I can tell, wealth and fame can be their own soul-destroying addictions. If some part of you thinks you are crap and you are getting rich and/or famous to compensate, each success can end up reinforcing the sense of inferiority once the initial high wears off. And there's always the fear of losing it all. I don't know anything in particular about Sade and Bourdain, or if this applies to them, but I can imagine in a more general way that the fear of becoming a "has been," which happens to every famous person sooner or later, could be terrifying.
 
I remember years ago the jovial and beloved Today show weather guy, Willard Scott, went public about his anxiety and depression. I was pretty young, and almost disbelieving that this guy who seemed so naturally at ease and warm was suffering when off camera, afraid he'd not be able to pull it off next time.
 
My anxiety can get so intense that I can hardly function sometimes, and I have a pretty low-stress life. Someone like Bourdain? With the weight of not just his own celebrity but the livelihood of everyone surrounding him? I can imagine how that stress combined with a messed-up brain chemistry and, probably, sleep deprivation could have totally distorted his thinking. (I wasn't aware of Kate Spade until she passed.)