Seeking advice

[youngboldone]

I received a Growlr blast from a masseur who is passing through. His look is right up my alley (based on the one photo I can see on Growlr), so I did some research on him. Looked at his website (no photos there either) and consulted a couple forum members here who had sessions with him. Liked what I heard and was really looking forward to meeting with him.

 

So here's my dilemma. He came across very curt and almost condescending in tone in our correspondence. He told me his room number and then told me to text when I was parked and under no circumstances to knock on his door until the exact time of the appointment. I am very considerate as a client and mindful of a provider's time, and I would never do that anyway. I guess it's just the way it was said that's bothering me. I get that providers probably deal with lots of clients who don't follow the rules, which I'm sure is upsetting, but why take out that frustration on a brand-new client?

 

I also asked if he could text or send me through Growlr some pics. I don't have the pro version of Growlr, so I couldn't see his pics. He didn't send me any. The description of the massage sounds wonderful, but he's expensive - $275 for two hours.

 

Not sure whether to keep the appointment or cancel. What would you do?

[Westcoaster]

I'd find someone else. YOU are hiring HIM. Not the other way around.

 

Sam

[MisterMike]

 

Not sure whether to keep the appointment or cancel. What would you do?

 

Pretty sure you know you should cancel and are just looking to be talked out of it. If it feels wrong, it's probably wrong.

[youngboldone]

I guess it's not that it feels wrong per se. I'm just a little miffed at being talked to like a teacher scolding an errant schoolboy, if that makes sense. He got a ringing endorsement from a trusted forum member, so I'm trying to decide if I'm just overreacting or whether at this price point I really should expect more of a welcoming vibe.

[+ 7829V]

I’d move on. He is a VERY expensive rude masseur.

[MisterMike]

I guess it's not that it feels wrong per se. I'm just a little miffed at being talked to like a teacher scolding an errant schoolboy, if that makes sense. He got a ringing endorsement from a trusted forum member, so I'm trying to decide if I'm just overreacting or whether at this price point I really should expect more of a welcoming vibe.

It's your money.

[+ Travis69]

Many clients don't follow the rules as you said. Perhaps he has learned the only way to get clients to listen is to add emphasis to his instructions. If others have had a good time I would go for it and forget about how he said it. If once you arrive you find his manner still abrasive then you might want to rethink going through with the appt.

[SoCalBoySD]

Trust your gut. It knows.

[+ freecahill1965]

I guess it's not that it feels wrong per se. I'm just a little miffed at being talked to like a teacher scolding an errant schoolboy, if that makes sense. He got a ringing endorsement from a trusted forum member, so I'm trying to decide if I'm just overreacting or whether at this price point I really should expect more of a welcoming vibe.

How did the appoitment fo or did you cancel?

[MassageDrew]

Move on! No masseur has a right to talk that way to a paying client. If that was me at Starbucks I would rip him to pieces, make him cry, and then walk out. I’ve always been a nice guy and yeah some people have taken advantage of that. I had to learn how to be an asshole. It feels like I’m being eaten alive from the inside when I have to be mean but it is a necessity in this country.

[dreamboy13]

Move on! No masseur has a right to talk that way to a paying client. If that was me at Starbucks I would rip him to pieces, make him cry, and then walk out. I’ve always been a nice guy and yeah some people have taken advantage of that. I had to learn how to be an asshole. It feels like I’m being eaten alive from the inside when I have to be mean but it is a necessity in this country.

Haha did you have a bad Starbucks experience?

[Terpmaniac]

If I get a bad vibe while chatting either via email or the phone I cancel.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Some people find it hard to communicate nicely AND clearly at the same time, so they chose clarity over niceties.

What he probably meant is “I have another client before you, and it would be very awkward if you two bump into each other at my door, I don’t want you or my other client to feel awkward, so please don’t arrive at my door before the time we agreed, this way, I can make sure he has left before you arrive. Is that ok, will you remember, please? Sorry to be so strict, but I care a lot about my client’s need for discretion”.

 

It sounds better, but is very long and not everyone has the patience to write like this.

[MassageDrew]

In

Haha did you have a bad Starbucks experience?

 

Unfortunately yes.

[NYCguy10011]

A sligthly different perspective: He doesn’t know you yet, so he hasn’t separated you from the possibly large number of men who waste his time with emails and requests for pics.

 

Like you, I get turned off by curt emails and texts, but I’ve also come to realize that it might not mean anything. If he’s outright rude, avoid him. If he’s just guarded before he knows you, he probably has his reasons. I wouldn’t consider guarded/curt messages a deal-breaker at this stage.

 

Good luck!

[CBA]

If you get positive reviews here then that is 90% of confirmation to use this guy. Clients can be such jerks to a masseur....and potential lookie loos are the worst. Closeted guys who just want to feel sexual by texting with a masseur, guys who are so nervous and spend hours communicating with the masseur and never actually book an appointment...the list of things that waste a masseurs time is long. I have met some great masseurs that were not super friendly before our first meeting but after that boy was it a great friendship. The texting for an appointment was far different for the second appointment. Instrutions from a masseur are usually a copy and paste thing...if you see him a few times then you might suggest he word the instructions in a more gentle manner.

[thonglovertx]

I bet he just has some instructions that he copies and paste to everyone. Don't take it as rude directly to you; you can never read tone in a text. I agree with Tarte Gogo that he could word it a little better. If he has positive reviews from people you have talked with on here, he's prob a good choice. Don't read it to it so much, and just enjoy.

[thickornotatall]

I guess it's not that it feels wrong per se. I'm just a little miffed at being talked to like a teacher scolding an errant schoolboy, if that makes sense. He got a ringing endorsement from a trusted forum member, so I'm trying to decide if I'm just overreacting or whether at this price point I really should expect more of a welcoming vibe.

I would never let anyone talk down to me....ever...show some backbone and cancel...no way should he disrespect you or make you feel that way..shame on him..

[MiamiLooker]

The description of the massage sounds wonderful, but he's expensive - $275 for two hours.

Do you want a 2 hour appointment? Would you feel gypped if it only lasted an hour and a half?

[rvwnsd]

If you think you should cancel, then cancel. As others have said, trust your gut.

 

Here's a question, though. This type of exchange seems to happen quite frequently for you. Is there something about the type of guy who attracts you that results in a curt exchange and a should I hire/should I not hire dilemma?

[starman05]

you came to this forum for a reason. you know what you should do. listen to your gut.

[+ E.T.Bass]

Drawing conclusions from e-mail or text communications can be a crap shoot. That said, there are masseurs that certainly know how to practice best form with their texts. I appreciate that a lot.