Advice for newbies asking a question

[+ Tarte Gogo]

My 1000th post:

 

This forum is an incredible mountain of information about escorts and masseurs and other related subjects. But you can also access the even larger mountain of information that is stored in the members’ brains, by asking them a question.

 

Questions are welcome, but they are more likely to be answered if asked by a popular member. So you do want to be popular here, if only to get answers to your questions.

 

How to be popular?

 

Before you ask a question, you may want to do the following:

 

1. Search first! Very likely there is already a thread already about your subject. Use the search box and read the existing contributions. If you still have a question, add it to that thread.

 

2. If your question is about a masseur or an escort, look for reviews on Daddyreviews.com

 

If you are still going to ask a question or ask for a recommendation, remember this:

 

3. Accept that members here are very different. We have members who are 19, and members in their 80s. Some are not in/from the US and grew up in a completely different culture from yours. They obviously will have a different point of view on your question, and all these points of view, although some may be unhelpful to you, are equally welcome.

 

4. Accept that your preferences are not everyone else’s. They may not even be the majority’s preferences. So when you ask for a recommendation, “good looking” is not sufficient, it means 500 different things to 500 different members.

 

5. Be specific! If you are into tall guys, say “ over 6’2” “ or whatever the number is. If you are into young guys, don’t say “young”, say “under 25” or whatever the number is for you. A 35 yo is young for many of our 70 yo members. Being specific will help you get feedback that actually answers your question.

 

6. Be respectful! We love our escorts. We think they are amazing people. So do not say “he is ugly”, but you can say “that is not the type of face I am looking for, I prefer a chiseled jaw, and no wrinkles around the eyes”. Do not say “he is fat”, but “I would prefer a recommendation for a guy with a lower BMI.” Think about it, if you insult someone’s favorite escort, that someone will stop helping you with recommendations.

 

7. If someone is so unhelpful that it is preventing you from finding the info you need, there is an ignore button on their profile. That will remove (for you only) all the posts from that member, and you can keep reading everyone else’s answers. So there is no point telling someone to shut up. If someone has broken the rules, you can use the report button and an admin will look at the violation. No need to enter a posting war.

 

This is just advice and not intended to be rules.

 

This post is a draft and likely to be edited multiple times in the future based on feedback from the forum members. I hope to get it good enough to get it pinned somewhere one day.

Edited January 14, 2018 by Tarte Gogo

[LaffingBear]

Id say thats pretty good advice

[liubit]

Like he says.

[+ saminseattle]

I don’t know if I am one of the “popular” kids around here, but I do have more "likes" than messages, for whatever that’s worth. For me, I think it was helpful to poke around these forums for awhile (several months as I recall) before I became a member or started asking questions—to get a feel for the place, to see what kind of things led to threads being shut down or people being placed on time-out, etc. When people took my questions on tangents, I mostly went along for the ride, and if people were overly sensitive or hostile, I tried not to take the bait and avoided get into pointless shouting matches via my keyboard. I don’t ask questions or comment as much as I used to, but I still check the forum regularly, and appreciate all the helpful information it provides. While we have not always agreed, I certainly appreciate your contributions, @Tarte Gogo, and think this thread is a very good idea.

 

*One other thought, if a newbie finds this forum valuable, he/she may consider making a donation to help keep this place running. I don’t know if that leads to more “popularity” or people taking a contributor’s questions more seriously, but I see this place as a rather unique little community, and I appreciate those who support it as they are able, as I try to do (will be sending in my annual contribution later today in fact).

Edited January 5, 2018 by saminseattle

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Thanks @saminseattle that is a couple of advice items I can integrate.

Any other improvement anyone think we can make?

[rvwnsd]

Thanks @saminseattle that is a couple of advice items I can integrate.

Any other improvement anyone think we can make?

In general, decent advice. A couple of suggested tweaks from a member who is going on 7K posts but, like everyone, was new to the Forum at one time:

 

...Questions are welcome, but they are more likely to be answered if asked by a popular member.

 

Popularity does not matter to most members, but sincerity and an approach that has at least a modicum of civility does matter. Plenty of brand-new members have asked questions in a direct, conversational way and have received warm welcomes and sincere advice. These members typically write in sentences and don't portray themselves as angry, strung-out, high, or fishing for "dirt."

 

A good way to summarize "but sincerity and an approach that has at least a modicum of civility" in a little sound bite is to call it "respectful and respected."

 

Instead of writing

...So you do want to be popular here, if only to get answers to your questions....

 

we'll write "So you do want to be respected and respectful here."

 

See? Much more inclusive.

 

So here are some additional edits, in green italics:

 

How to be popular respected and respectful?

 

Before you ask a question, you may want to do the following: a few things that will help making you popular:

 

1. Search first! Very likely there is already a thread already about your subject. Use the search box and read the existing contributions. If you still have a question, add it to that thread, unless the thread is more than a year or two old. When the thread is older than a year or two, start a new one and mention the only other thread you could find was significantly dated.

 

2. If your question is about a masseur or an escort, look for reviews on Daddyreviews.com

 

If you are still going to ask a question or ask for a recommendation, remember this:

 

1. Provide a link to the escort's ad. Queries without a link make you appear to be lazy and can lead to confusion when the escort has a relatively common name.

 

2. When creating a query about an escort, structure the post as follows:

Body of Post: Something to the effect of " Hi all, this is my first posting to the Forum. I am interested in hiring [Name of Escort], but before contacting him I wanted to see if anyone has experience they would like to share. I would appreciate advice or feedback members might have about him. Please feel free to send me a PM or post in reply to this thread.

 

PS: I searched for previous threads and could not locate any recent posts.

 

Thanks!!

 

3. Accept that we have a diverse membership here are very different. We have members who are 19, and members in their 80s. Some are not in/from the US and grew up in a completely different culture from yours. They obviously will have a different point of view on your question, and all these points of view, although some may be unhelpful to you, are equally welcome.

 

4. Accept that your preferences are not everyone else’s. They may not even be the majority’s preferences. So when you ask for a recommendation, “good looking” is not sufficient, it means 500 different things to 500 different members.

 

5. Be specific! If you are into tall guys, say “ over 6’2” “ or whatever the number is. If you are into young guys, don’t say “young”, say “under 25” or whatever the number is for you. A 35 yo is young for many of our 70 yo members. Being specific will help you get feedback that actually answers your question.

 

6. Be respectful! We love our escorts and one another. We think they are amazing people. So do not say “he is ugly”, but you can say “that is not the type of face I am looking for, I prefer a chiseled jaw, and no wrinkles around the eyes”. Do not say “he is fat”, but “I would prefer a recommendation for a guy with a lower BMI who is more lean and/or muscular.” Think about it, if you insult someone’s favorite escort, that someone will stop helping you with recommendations.

 

7. If someone is so unhelpful that it is preventing you from finding the info you need, there is an ignore button on their profile. That will remove (for you only) all the posts from that member, and you can keep reading everyone else’s answers. So there is no point telling someone to shut up. If someone has broken the rules, you can use the report button and an admin will look at the violation. No need to enter a posting war.

 

8. Post in the correct Forum. Inquiries about specific escorts belong in The Deli. Inquiries about specific massage therapists or masseurs belong in The Spa. Don't post about escorts in The Spa or about Masseurs in The Deli. Lastly, don't post masseur or escort inquiries in The Lounge.

 

This is just advice and not intended to be rules.