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Going Soft/ Not Getting Off From Topping

Aquarionsol

By Aquarionsol
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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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Recently I have been trying to top. However, I seem to be struggling keeping it up or getting off while topping. I stay hard during foreplay and can get off by bottoming but when it comes to topping i either start getting soft after a while or just get frustrated because I cant cum. Has this happened to any of you guys before? if so how did you get over it?

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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Is this your first time trying topping? As with me, it may be that it's just not as tight and hard as with my own hand (!), and, so, I lose the erection. The movies make it look so easy and fun!

 

This would be my second time. Both times I stayed hard for awhile but eventually started to go soft.:mad::mad::mad: It was soooooo embarrassing because I was unable to satisfy the guy I was topping.:(:(:( I know first hand how frustrating it can be when you're looking forward to being topped. It was also embarrassing because I can easily get off twice in an hour massage session and at least once when bottoming.

 

I know they definitely make it look so easy. i think i looked like a fumbling mess :D:(:D.

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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Others have suggested to me a cock ring, Viagra or similar, sitting back for a few minutes and trying again.

 

The condom never helps, either.

 

Do they measure you in-store for a cockring?

I was thinking of going to those specialty condom stores to see if they have something better than Duane Reade/ Rite Aid.

Idk about Viagra just yet I may try just psyching myself up.

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Lance_Navarro Proficient

+ Lance_Navarro

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Here are a few of my tips and suggestions. First, become really comfortable and quick with putting on your condom. If it takes more than 5 seconds, that's too long. The "rolling" technique takes too long, I like to grab the condom on both sides with 2 fingers and quickly pull it down on my dick, can do it in 2 seconds. Grab yourself a hand full of freebie condoms at the clinic and practice. Also, have the condom wrapper already opened before you start playing, cause that can sometimes be a pain in the moment.

Finding the right fit is important, I recently ordered from https://myonecondoms.com/. They have you enter your dick measurement, then send you 3 condoms, one that's the size you entered and also one smaller and one larger for just $2 shipping. Also, female condoms, or insertable condoms if you prefer to call them, can be a good solution since they create no constriction on your dick and you can use any type of lube, including creams and oil (I like using Crisco with female condoms).

As far as being able to reach orgasm while fucking, I would encourage you to play around with fucking a fleshjack or flashlight. You can put it in between pillows or on a table of appropriate height and experiment with fucking it until orgasm. Also, many guys have issues fucking to orgasm because they are so use to jerking off in a specific way, and they can replicate the feeling when fucking, so change up your masterbation techniques. Try jerking off with the other hand, or experiment with slowing it down if you're use to jerking off hard and quick. You could also try jerking off with a condom on.

Pretty much any condom is going to desensitize to some degree, so viagra or Cialis is worth considering.

Hope this helps a bit!

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MikeBiDude Grand Master

MikeBiDude

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Sometimes happens to me *right* at penetration attempt :(

Before all good, once “in” all good....but don’t always make it “in”

 

I think the "anxiety" over Topping may be the culprit ? As we all know, our cocks are controlled by our brains.... Try thinking of something other than his delicious, moist, tight but slippery, Pink pucker hole before and during insertion... :p

 

I think this for me to some degree...even overpowering ED prescription sometimes.

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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I think the "anxiety" over Topping may be the culprit ? As we all know, our cocks are controlled by our brains.... Try thinking of something other than his delicious, moist, tight but slippery, Pink pucker hole before and during insertion... :p

 

:eek: For the second guy it look all my will power to take my face out of his butt and tongue out of his hole.:p:cool:

waterboy-you-can-do-it.jpg

I may need to put this on the wall.:D:D:D

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jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

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:eek: For the second guy it look all my will power to take my face out of his butt and tongue out of his hole.:p:cool:

waterboy-you-can-do-it.jpg

I may need to put this on the wall.:D:D:D

 

 

In all seriousness, I believe guys place way too much importance on fucking, and too much pressure on themselves to be able to perform it. Not everyone was built to be a "fucking machine"... I myself am basically ORAL, and while I did try anal in my early gay days, I quickly realized I didnt enjoy it and it wasnt for me. From then on I perfected my Oral skills, and found the greatest pleasures in sucking and rimming guys that really enjoy it.... If anal is not that important to you, concentrate on the other activities you Enjoy, and dont feel guilty about not shoving you cock up a hungry ass. There will always be some other cock to satisfy them...

I am now 66, and having been enjoying Oral pleasures for over 40 years. Performing oral on a guy i am attracted to gives me the greatest "cerebral orgasm"... I dont even need to cum myself, the satisfaction I get from sucking and rimming is so intense, it sustains me. .

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TylerandAce Proficient

+ TylerandAce

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Lance has some great suggestions. Definitely worth a try. For me, the position I'm in while fucking can make a difference. I get a different feeling if the bottom is on his back vs on his knees. For instance, my dick has a downward curve to it, so I can fuck longer and cum better if the bottom is on his knees. It's also really tough for me to stay hard for very long if a guy is sitting on me. If he's hovering and I'm thrusting from below, it's fine, but otherwise I go soft if there's not enough friction.

 

You might also try an insertable. If your partner isn't exactly a tight squeeze, then this can be a real help when topping. They feel great to the bottom, too, from what I've been told. http://www.forttroff.com/product/60527.html

 

Mostly, just have fun, though. 99% of sex is in our brains, so turn on some porn, get relaxed, just concentrate on enjoying the experience without focusing on the results.

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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As far as being able to reach orgasm while fucking, I would encourage you to play around with fucking a fleshjack or flashlight. You can put it in between pillows or on a table of appropriate height and experiment with fucking it until orgasm. Also, many guys have issues fucking to orgasm because they are so use to jerking off in a specific way, and they can replicate the feeling when fucking, so change up your masterbation techniques. Try jerking off with the other hand, or experiment with slowing it down if you're use to jerking off hard and quick. You could also try jerking off with a condom on.

Hope this helps a bit!

 

Thanks!!!!

Now I have the perfect excuse to purchase some Tenga Products.:)

I will also give jerking off with a condom too.:)

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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I am not sure if this advice will work for you: how about avoiding masturbation for a week or more before fucking?

I find I can stay hard more easily if I am really in need of an orgasm.

 

I will have to try that or just edging myself before hooking up I do not mind getting blue balls. I would mentally rather cum really fast while in them then get soft. Shoot at least you can say their hole felt to good because it was nice and tight. When you get soft while fucking what can you say...

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Aquarionsol Collaborator

Aquarionsol

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Lance has some great suggestions. Definitely worth a try. For me, the position I'm in while fucking can make a difference. I get a different feeling if the bottom is on his back vs on his knees. For instance, my dick has a downward curve to it, so I can fuck longer and cum better if the bottom is on his knees. It's also really tough for me to stay hard for very long if a guy is sitting on me. If he's hovering and I'm thrusting from below, it's fine, but otherwise I go soft if there's not enough friction.

 

You might also try an insertable. If your partner isn't exactly a tight squeeze, then this can be a real help when topping. They feel great to the bottom, too, from what I've been told. http://www.forttroff.com/product/60527.html

 

Mostly, just have fun, though. 99% of sex is in our brains, so turn on some porn, get relaxed, just concentrate on enjoying the experience without focusing on the results.

 

Holy crap I did not know that was even a thing. I thought I had seen everything especially after watching Japanese porn. I never seen anything like that.:D:D:D

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BenjaminNicholas Grand Master

+ BenjaminNicholas

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LOL...Nothing scary about it, really. Actually a fantastic aid. It gives you great friction as a top, allows you to fuck without a condom (because it is a reservoir, itself), and gives the bottom a nice full feeling.

 

It's basically like putting a Fleshjack into someone's ass. And, as was already mentioned, it works great if you want to fuck raw (but safe).

 

I've used it as a top and as a bottom: It's not uncomfortable.

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