411 on Los Angeles tops

[kenomora]

Everyone discriminates over something when hooking up. Height, age, weight, masculine, etc. Race is no exception.

Very true. But somehow I just wish he had been a little more forthright with his inquiry.

 

To get me to reveal my ethnicity and appearance, he wrote "Please tell me about yourself? Are you white, latino etc? Height, weight...enough to be sure I greet the right person when I let you in my building?" I mean, if the purpose of getting the information was to screen clients, why couldn't he just say so? The rejection feels just the same either way.

[caliguy]

Very true. But somehow I just wish he had been a little more forthright with his inquiry.

 

To get me to reveal my ethnicity and appearance, he wrote "Please tell me about yourself? Are you white, latino etc? Height, weight...enough to be sure I greet the right person when I let you in my building?" I mean, if the purpose of getting the information was to screen clients, why couldn't he just say so? The rejection feels just the same either way.

Unfortunately he can't just come out and say it on his RM profile. Not to mention that would be a form of discrimination in itself. Everybody but.. XYZ.

[LivingnLA]

Unfortunately he can't just come out and say it on his RM profile. Not to mention that would be a form of discrimination in itself. Everybody but.. XYZ.

 

He could say it on his profile, but he chooses not to because he doesn't want to be labeled for his racial bias.

Edited April 28, 2018 by LivingnLA

[caliguy]

He could say it on his profile, but he chooses not to because doesn't want to be labeled for his racial bias.

I'm not sure how he could even do that. I'm sure the site editors would just never let that fly.. Something like...whites preferred. Lol

[caliguy]

I'm attracted to my Asian and black Brothers. However I'm not really into Indian guys. Should I say that in my profile. No Indians need apply.

[+ PapaTony]

Everyone discriminates over something when hooking up. Height, age, weight, masculine, etc. Race is no exception.

hmmmm, wonder who you voted for for President...

[caliguy]

hmmmm, wonder who you voted for for President...

hmmm, wonder if you discriminate yourself or is everyone welcome to your bed? You might actually be an example to us all. To answer your question though I voted for Hillary.

[TJnDB]

I've known Spencer for about 10 years, have been with him numerous time and plan to see him again. I, too, saw the comments about his preferences and the last time we met I asked him. He said, and I paraphrase. I have many (fill in the ethnicity) friends and we meet socially and have a good time. But as an escort I want to make the time memorable and if I'm not into a particular ethnicity, it won't be memorable. It's like a gay guy having sex with a female. Could he approach the situation another way? Are there better ways, maybe. Daddy's site, RM have many others to choose.

[kenomora]

I've known Spencer for about 10 years, have been with him numerous time and plan to see him again. I, too, saw the comments about his preferences and the last time we met I asked him. He said, and I paraphrase. I have many (fill in the ethnicity) friends and we meet socially and have a good time. But as an escort I want to make the time memorable and if I'm not into a particular ethnicity, it won't be memorable. It's like a gay guy having sex with a female. Could he approach the situation another way? Are there better ways, maybe. Daddy's site, RM have many others to choose.

Although I did feel crappy about being rejected, I do understand him on the preference issue. The thing I’m mostly upset about was the approach he took to get the information. It was just insincere and made the rejection felt worse. He could have just said to me “I prefer clients who are (whichever races).” Instead, he chose to initially cover up his real intention by making me think he wanted information to help him recognize me once we met. If you get to talk to him, please let him know that his current approach was hurtful, and that he should be more upfront about what he wants. Not necessarily on the ad itself, but in the subsequent communication with a client. No need to make up stuff to justify the question.

[nyblkguy]

This issue is always such a sticky point. I'm sure people would be equally upset when escorts say "No Fats, No Fems" as well. My issue with these type of people is how I have to navigate their issues. Anytime I approach an escort who's of a different race, I have to wonder if they will either: Not reply back or say they aren't into my race. The worst is when they do show up and then don't perform. It makes you wonder why they can't perform. Happened to me with Mike Gaite who people love on here. Was it racial, no idea. but it makes me wonder why this person can't perform for me, but get glowing reviews.

 

I think it would be more honest if he replied in every response to an inquiry, " So you are aware, I am not available for appts with the following ethnicities...."

 

This way he's being upfront about his limitations. Instead he hides behind asking what race the inquirer is and then rejecting them or not responding. Thus causing the inquirer to feel negative and possibly inadequate.

 

He should own his limitations, so that people can make a choice to deal with a limited person, or move on by full disclosure at every inquiry. Much like if you go to any other service provider and they say, we don't serve Gay people. That info would be good to know as early as possible.

Edited April 28, 2018 by nyblkguy

[GBoi]

hmmm, wonder if you discriminate yourself or is everyone welcome to your bed? You might actually be an example to us all. To answer your question though I voted for Hillary.

 

Hmmm is PapaTony charging people? Racism is accepted in the gay community. It’s a sad reality

[GBoi]

This issue is always such a sticky point. I'm sure people would be equally upset when escorts say "No Fats, No Fems" as well. My issue with these type of people is how I have to navigate their issues. Anytime I approach an escort who's of a different race, I have to wonder if they will either: Not reply back or say they aren't into my race. The worst is when they do show up and then don't perform. It makes you wonder why they can't perform. Happened to me with Mike Gaite who people love on here. Was it racial, no idea. but it makes me wonder why this person can't perform for me, but get glowing reviews.

 

I think it would be more honest if he replied in every response to an inquiry, " So you are aware, I am not available for appts with the following ethnicities...."

 

This way he's being upfront about his limitations. Instead he hides behind asking what race the inquirer is and then rejecting them or not responding. Thus causing the inquirer to feel negative and possibly inadequate.

 

He should own his limitations, so that people can make a choice to deal with a limited person, or move on by full disclosure at every inquiry. Much like if you go to any other service provider and they say, we don't serve Gay people. That info would be good to know as early as possible.

 

Unless other members come forward and say they didn’t have a good time with Mike because they are black, it’s pretty unfair to make that implication here. Spencer has admitted he won’t see Asians. As far as I know, no one has reported the same type of thing about Mike. There have been providers that people here seem to think walk on water where I’ve had a mediocre time. Others where people have not had good experiences and I’ve totally enjoyed myself. I don’t throw the race card and just chalk it up to chemistry.

 

I do agree people should just be upfront about it to save everyone’s time. Own it.

[biggerbilly]

I've known Spencer for about 10 years, have been with him numerous time and plan to see him again. I, too, saw the comments about his preferences and the last time we met I asked him. He said, and I paraphrase. I have many (fill in the ethnicity) friends and we meet socially and have a good time. But as an escort I want to make the time memorable and if I'm not into a particular ethnicity, it won't be memorable. It's like a gay guy having sex with a female. Could he approach the situation another way? Are there better ways, maybe. Daddy's site, RM have many others to choose.

 

Are people still using the, “some of my best friends are _______” excuse. If you’re going to say this now a days, don’t put up an Instagram account, where we can see all of your friends. I guess friends are people in the entertainment industry now. “How can I be racist, I listen to Beyoncé!”

[kenomora]

I do agree people should just be upfront about it to save everyone’s time. Own it.

 

THIS

[Drained Empty]

Kenomara, I am sad to hear this happened to you. I have spoken candidly about blanket racial rejection in other threads and facing similar experiences, whether with providers, hook-up apps, and/or at bars or spas.

 

To be rejected for your race is a pain that can't be easily described and sadly one Asians, Indians, and sometimes blacks experience all too often. It is white privilege to both not have to experience it and own the power of rejection.

 

The harsh and all encompassing "nos," i.e. "no Asians," dehumanize. You are no longer a person, you are a category. The even more offensive "no rice or spice" (no Asians or Indians) reduces you to an object. I'm sure there are white patrons that guys like Spencer are not attracted to, but they at least not treated with the indignity of an automatic rejection before an in-person meeting.

 

At least you were spared the pain of being rejected to your face. To travel (I presume) to him with excitement and expectation, only to get "the look" (the same that patrons at bars and spas give, because they can't outright say "get away from me") and the awkward "sorry" followed by a closed door.

 

Eventually, I find I forget those "nos" and "looks." They happen so often. The residual, ongoing hurt comes from knowing you've done nothing wrong except being born what most of gay society deems "undesirable" and not being able to do anything about it. And also it hurts realizing for all the LGBT "progress" that's being touted, there is hate within our own community.

 

I'm going to stop now, because people on this board accuse me of playing "the race card" or having "issues." So thank you for sharing your experience, however painful, and having this discussion. Because being silenced is another type of "no."

[steve]

JayLA - he doesn't have issues with Asian clients...not that I am Asian. Just in past conversations with him he has had some repeat clients of Asian descent.

 

https://www.daddysreviews.com/search/All/JLA/jla_la

[kenomora]

JayLA - he doesn't have issues with Asian clients...not that I am Asian. Just in past conversations with him he has had some repeat clients of Asian descent.

 

https://www.daddysreviews.com/search/All/JLA/jla_la

That’s awesome, because I look East Asian as East Asian can be and would love to meet with him soon!

[LivingnLA]

Kenomara, I am sad to hear this happened to you. I have spoken candidly about blanket racial rejection in other threads and facing similar experiences, whether with providers, hook-up apps, and/or at bars or spas.

 

To be rejected for your race is a pain that can't be easily described and sadly one Asians, Indians, and sometimes blacks experience all too often. It is white privilege to both not have to experience it and own the power of rejection.

 

The harsh and all encompassing "nos," i.e. "no Asians," dehumanize. You are no longer a person, you are a category. The even more offensive "no rice or spice" (no Asians or Indians) reduces you to an object. I'm sure there are white patrons that guys like Spencer are not attracted to, but they at least not treated with the indignity of an automatic rejection before an in-person meeting.

 

At least you were spared the pain of being rejected to your face. To travel (I presume) to him with excitement and expectation, only to get "the look" (the same that patrons at bars and spas give, because they can't outright say "get away from me") and the awkward "sorry" followed by a closed door.

 

Eventually, I find I forget those "nos" and "looks." They happen so often. The residual, ongoing hurt comes from knowing you've done nothing wrong except being born what most of gay society deems "undesirable" and not being able to do anything about it. And also it hurts realizing for all the LGBT "progress" that's being touted, there is hate within our own community.

 

I'm going to stop now, because people on this board accuse me of playing "the race card" or having "issues." So thank you for sharing your experience, however painful, and having this discussion. Because being silenced is another type of "no."

 

I'm with you through most of your post except "sometimes blacks" because I'd wager black Americans experience rejection and objectification just as often as Asians. Ultimately, though, this isn't a contest. It's a challenging complex of issues in our culture that works with some of our oldest basic biology to create and reinforce racism in all its forms.

[+ lookingforfunny]

Perhaps, if you are interested in booking a provider outside your race, you may consider the option of presenting it up front and asking the provider how they feel and if they have had successful connections with people from the same group. If they cannot answer that question or you are the first, I would be wary of a meeting and if they do not answer at all you will clearly understand why. We can make this a therapy session, but the reality is that you are in control of your dollars. It is much better to know up front than to have someone in your space or you in theirs and they completely take advantage of you and make it something else altogether. That is the worst kind of deception and rejection. So, I would consider it a gift as good or bad as they can offer it. You would be wasting the gift of your hard earned money and your spirit. This is America, no need to be surprised. Apparently, it was greater before, so we are striving to reach the levels of the past. Hmmm.

[Drained Empty]

I'm with you through most of your post except "sometimes blacks" because I'd wager black Americans experience rejection and objectification just as often as Asians. Ultimately, though, this isn't a contest.

 

I can't speak for the black experience but didn't want to exclude, so please don't take my comments as dismissive. In general, I find Asians are more rejected and blacks objectified (well endowed, aggressive, bigger), but as you wrote, it's not a contest.

 

That's why I always state my race when reaching out to not only a provider but even just masseurs (I started a separate thread on it) as @lookingforfunny suggested.

 

It's also why I carefully keep track of how people respond to my presence at spas. If they get up and leave when I enter or sit down multiple times, I take it that they have a problem with my presence (whether they're racist, think I'm a creeper despite doing nothing but entering, or that I'm worker and will report on them, etc). I avoid them after that because I want to avoid that pain of rejection.

 

And yes, if sometimes there is no room left, I will ask them to enter, or apologize and leave. Because to me, asking "is it okay to sit here" at a spa is the equivalent of "I am Asian, do you accept clients of that color?" with a provider.

 

And one final caveat to lookingforfunny's post. Don't assume providers within your race will automatically say yes to you. I have found fellow Asians to be the most racist to each other.

 

To get back on track, if there are any black or white tops in L.A. who are cool with Asians or even "prefer" them, let me know!

Edited April 28, 2018 by Drained Empty

[+ lookingforfunny]

And....moving along..

 

Perhaps everyone is still groggy from last night. Surely, we have several tops in LA who want to be with a sexy Asian man. East Asian for geo-preference.

 

Thanks @Drained Empty, for the post.

[kenomora]

To get back on track, if there are any black or white tops in L.A. who are cool with Asians or even "prefer" them, let me know!

Hey what about me??!!! Let me know too.....I’m sure there must be at least a few in LA to go around.

[Drained Empty]

Hey what about me??!!! Let me know too.....I’m sure there must be at least a few in LA to go around.

 

I was asking on our mutual behalf!

[steve]

JLA rentmen link now up: https://rentmen.eu/JayCAL

[+ azdr0710]

though I'm not particularly a top or a bottom, I'll throw in my endorsement for JLA, too.....met him once or twice, but not in at least a couple or three years.....instantly friendly and chatty....lots of energy.....the kinda dude you'd like to hang out with over a beer

Edited April 28, 2018 by azdr0710