Do You Send Thank-You Notes?

[+ Avalon]

I was talking to my aunt today on the phone. Her grandson's step-daughter sent everyone an invitation to her high school graduation. Because of distance no one came but sent gifts. She sent no thank-you acknowledgements.

 

Then she got pregnant and had a baby shower. She sent out invitations but again because of distance no one came. But this time no one sent a gift. Grandson is upset with his relatives.

 

I told my aunt it's just the way young people are today and should not take it personally.

 

But me as the occasion arises I still send notes.

 

What do others think, do?

[Despardo]

I accept emails as thank you notes these days, however, I am lucky to get even that. Miss Manners has chapters on thank you notes for wedding gifts.

 

I feel that if a gift is given in person, and the giver is thanked in person, a note is not really necessary, especially with close friends or family. If a gift is mailed, at least some acknowledgement of its receipt is called for. Emails are fine these days, or a phone call would suffice. Text messages are borderline, but OK in some cases I suppose--not for a wedding gift.

[jjkrkwood]

Often invitations are sent solely to receive gifts, since that historically is the protocol. These days I find invites from people I really DONT have a close relationship with an intrusion, and I have stopped sending gifts to those people, knowing it will get me off their invite list.

 

With that said, I am also VERY particular and cautious of whom I would invite to a function, and I NEVER expect for anyone to give me a gift for an invite to Anything, and will often indicate "no gifts" in the invite. The "gift" for me is just having that special person present to celebrate with me.

 

However, should someone honor me with a gift. a "written" thank you note in the mail would be MY reply. An extra moment of time and effort on my part seems appropriate for people who gave up their time for me.

[LADoug1]

Thank you notes are a dying sign of graciousness and etiquette.

 

What always intrigues me is that it is considered okay for a bride to send her notes within one year. I guess it’s this way to make sure the wedding worked out.

[Gvtire]

I still do, depending on the circumstances.

[Rudynate]

I do depending on the cicumstances. I send texts or emails, for example, if I have been somebody's dinner guest. If I am an overnight guest, I always send a handwritten note. I almost never receive written thank yous, but I write it off as a sign of the times.

[+ WilliamM]

Yes, I still receive thank you notes, although it is not something that concerns me much.

[+ sync]

My belief is that when someone gifts you, a thank-you response of some kind is warranted.

[bigvalboy]

I think handwritten notes are a lost art, so I like to write them whenever appropriate. I know the person on the receiving end will not be expecting it.They don't have to be fancy, it's really the effort that counts. I do still send American Greeting E cards for close relatives birthdays and just 'thinking of you'. Some of the animated ones are quite hilarious. Sent one a few months back to my sister that was a Mariachi band, it was hilarious.

[marylander1940]

I was talking to my aunt today on the phone. Her grandson's step-daughter sent everyone an invitation to her high school graduation. Because of distance no one came but sent gifts. She sent no thank-you acknowledgements.

 

Then she got pregnant and had a baby shower. She sent out invitations but again because of distance no one came. But this time no one sent a gift. Grandson is upset with his relatives.

 

I told my aunt it's just the way young people are today and should not take it personally.

 

But me as the occasion arises I still send notes.

 

What do others think, do?

 

I know a local escort who always does it for all his trips.

[TruthBTold]

I send them but don't expect them. It is just a nice feeling to get one.

[+ bashful]

However, should someone honor me with a gift. a "written" thank you note in the mail would be MY reply. An extra moment of time and effort on my part seems appropriate for people who gave up their time for me.

 

Agreed. If you want to thank them, always a hand written note in a card.

[LaffingBear]

Depends.

 

If personal gift not given in person, I generally call. May send email or text "wanted you to know your gift arrived- will try to call soon"

 

I get a lot of corp business gifts. Ill try to call some, acknowledge by email with others.

 

Only gifts I let go unackowledged are very impersonal. E.g, as NFL season ticketholder, I get a gift from the team every year.

 

I mail almost nothing these days. A pack of forever stamps can last me years.

[Kippy]

I follow the Martha Stewart school of thought and send a simple hand written thank note for any gift, meal or special treatment I've been given. I still also send (and receive) random notes to folks to mark special occasions and they are always received as healing balm. For most people under 40 the art of written communication is lost. For many under 30 the art of written and social communication (other than meaningless texts or tweets or posts) is also gone. Just try to pry them away from their device! Long live the Palmer Method!

 

Kipp

[kevininsa]

I sent graduation gifts to two sons of two cousins and the daughter of a close friend. I'm not that close to the boys though I am close to the parents. The girl and one boy sent thank you notes. The other did nothing to acknowledge, even when he saw me at Christmas. Almost two years later, the non-thanking one married his HS (male) sweetheart. I again sent a check and again received no acknowledgement. I almost didn't send anything, but I wanted him to feel supported. I have to admit that both times I felt slighted. I had the same issue with my godson with birthdays, etc. After not acknowledging several times both his grandfather and I both stopped sending gifts. His mother thinks we're in the wrong.

[Kippy]

I'm with you, Kevin! Good manners and generosity are a reciprocal kind of thing-- one begets the other. We don't give gifts necessarily looking for anything in return except what traditionally has been known as common courtesy. Perhaps the days of extended gift giving have come to an end... oh well.

 

Gratefully,

 

Kipp

[+ Avalon]

I sent graduation gifts to two sons of two cousins and the daughter of a close friend. I'm not that close to the boys though I am close to the parents. The girl and one boy sent thank you notes. The other did nothing to acknowledge, even when he saw me at Christmas. Almost two years later, the non-thanking one married his HS (male) sweetheart. I again sent a check and again received no acknowledgement. I almost didn't send anything, but I wanted him to feel supported. I have to admit that both times I felt slighted. I had the same issue with my godson with birthdays, etc. After not acknowledging several times both his grandfather and I both stopped sending gifts. His mother thinks we're in the wrong.

 

I think it was nice to show support for his marriage. High school sweethearts - that's rather sweet!

[+ Axiom2001]

I can definitely relate to this. A few years back, I sent my third cousin a gift for her being graduated from high school. Did she send a thank you note? No! Was I pissed? Yes, and discussed with her paternal grandmother. Her brother graduated this past June. I sent a wonderful cash gift. Did he send out thank you notes? No! Well, his sister is now a senior at Syracuse University and plans to be graduated in the spring of 2018. I'm debating as to my sending her a wonderful cash gift. Love her dearly, but she should show some appreciation to others who've gone out of their way to bless her with gifts upon her accomplishments.

 

And I was NOT the only dissatisfied giver! [The parents should educate the children in the art of being appreciative via thank you cards/notes.] GOOD MANNERS [from all vantage points] do NOT go out of style.

[+ Avalon]

I can definitely relate to this. A few years back, I sent my third cousin a gift for her being graduated from high school. Did she send a thank you note? No! Was I pissed? Yes, and discussed with her paternal grandmother. Her brother graduated this past June. I sent a wonderful cash gift. Did he send out thank you notes? No! Well, his sister is now a senior at Syracuse University and plans to be graduated in the spring of 2018. I'm debating as to my sending her a wonderful cash gift. Love her dearly, but she should show some appreciation to others who've gone out of their way to bless her with gifts upon her accomplishments.

 

And I was NOT the only dissatisfied giver! [The parents should educate the children in the art of being appreciative via thank you cards/notes.] GOOD MANNERS [from all vantage points] do NOT go out of style.

 

 

Why not send a small cash gift plus a box of thank-you notes?

[gallahadesquire]

I follow the Martha Stewart school of thought and send a simple hand written thank note for any gift, meal or special treatment I've been given. I still also send (and receive) random notes to folks to mark special occasions and they are always received as healing balm. For most people under 40 the art of written communication is lost. For many under 30 the art of written and social communication (other than meaningless texts or tweets or posts) is also gone. Just try to pry them away from their device! Long live the Palmer Method!

 

Kipp

 

I'm a fan of Chancery Italic myself, but finding italic nibbed pens is a bitch.

 

http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/uploads/imgs/fpn_1374845635__script.jpg

[Wunder82]

I have sent thank-you emails or thank-you texts to the escorts I have hired (which one depends on our mode of communication during the vetting/hiring phase). I figure they took the time out of their schedule to enjoy some time with a stranger, or a repeat, customer - it is only proper to acknowledge that. For the first time hire - the escort has been surprised (pleasantly) that I took the time to do something like that. With repeat "visits", I get creative with the thank-you note, to our mutual enjoyment (one time I included a hand-written note in the envelope with the donation). Could it be from my upbringing this notion of a thank-you note? Or is it more, hiring an escort is a rare but lovely occurrence for me? I dunno, with one or two exceptions early on, I have enjoyed the guys so much, some often until they retired or married their BF, that I simply do it.