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HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN KESSLAR

BabyBoomer

By BabyBoomer
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Eric Hassan Mentor

+ Eric Hassan

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Steven - you've been very generous with your words over the last year and, as you can see, we have birthdays on the brain!

 

And it has got me to thinking of the importance of birthdays. Why do we celebrate the success of living another year when life could end at any moment? And if so, shouldn't we be grateful for every day? As my nan (or maybe mum/dad?! has said before, "always wear clean knickers as you never know when you might get hit by a bus". In that case - I hope you support the act of daily cake-eating in celebration of your making it through another day without getting hit by a bus. Although in Palm Springs the deathly automotive is more likely to be a scooter.

 

So why do we need a yearly celebration of ourselves? In my opinion, the birthday is more important now, in the busy 21st century, than it ever has been. We live in a technologically fast-paced world in which we can eat a meal and not even taste it, or take a train through lands we've never seen whilst glued to our smartphones instead of the window.

 

We live in a world that more and more calls for mindfulness, a practice often viewed as an overly-strict strain of Buddhism but which makes more sense to me than any other practice I have come across. To perform daily actions whilst at the same time reflecting on them is a key way to appreciate the amazing situations and experiences that life has to offer.

 

Readings I have reviewed on mindfulness advise it as something to be practiced time and time again until you become acutely aware of your actions and their consequences, not just on the world around you, but also on your psyche as a human being.

 

But let's face it - could you see yourself walking down a long street being acutely aware of the fact you are walking? Or would you have your headphones in and your iPod blaring like I usually do?

 

Hence - once a year, we have the perfect opportunity to sit back, be aware of our actions and choices of the previous year, and reflect on them. Much in the same way as New Year's Resolutions, we can use birthdays as a celebration of a year of growth, and gear up for more to come!

 

Musing upon your birthday, as you must with your many, many very, very thorough Forum posts, it is good to be thankful for what you have in life and what you have accomplished. But open your eyes to the larger picture. If we are to appreciate the fruits of life, we must first appreciate the tree that bears the fruit: birth itself.

 

Birth is your beginning, Steven. It is a window to the chance of a lifetime, the chance to fulfill your unique mission. So a birthday is a momentous occasion, to be commemorated just as a nation commemorates its birth or as an organization celebrates its founding. Still, it is much more than an occasion to receive gifts. It is a chance to remember the day that a major event occurred, to celebrate and give thanks and to reflect upon how well we are fulfilling our calling.

 

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you, Steven, at birth is present once again. A birthday is a time to celebrate birth itself, the joy of life. It is also an occasion to rethink your life: How great is the disparity between what I have accomplished and what I can accomplish? Am I spending my time properly or am I involved in things that distract me from my higher calling? How can I strengthen the thread that connects my outer life and my inner life?

 

A birthday can also teach us the concept of rebirth. To recall our birth is to recall a new beginning. No matter how things went yesterday, or last year, we always have the capacity to try again. Your birthday is a refresher, a chance for regeneration--not just materially, but spiritually.

 

On your birthday, gather with your family and friends and study something meaningful together.

 

There is no better way to celebrate a birthday than to commit a special act of goodness. It is easy enough to say you are thankful; it is far better to show it by doing a kind deed, something that you did not do yesterday. Not because someone is forcing you. Not because someone suggests it. But simply because your inner goodness, your soul, wants to express its thanks for being born and alive.

 

Happy

Birthday

Steven

 

WOW

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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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Keith:

 

WOW is right. Thank you for taking the time to write such thoughtful words.

 

I read your eloquent post earlier. So I've just been pondering it as I gabbed and gardened. I couldn't resist the chance to use the Cuba Gooding, Jr. video to poke fun at my logorrhea. So having done that, here goes with my logorrhea.

 

A birthday can also teach us the concept of rebirth. To recall our birth is to recall a new beginning. No matter how things went yesterday, or last year, we always have the capacity to try again. Your birthday is a refresher, a chance for regeneration--not just materially, but spiritually.

 

You are exactly right. I make a distinction between material and spiritual, too.

 

On the material side, I am incredibly grateful to Hooboy, Daddy, and this website. It made my escorting career possible. It basically was my escorting career. Almost all my clients found me here. And my escorting career made my material and financial stability possible.

 

If you count "community organizer" as a career, I did that for about 20 years. But I never held a single job as an organizer for more than 6 years. I've held this job for 16 years. I never would have thought that when my first review appeared in 2000. That's only been possible because of the fact that there are so many great people on this site.

 

There's a post up now about whether clients and escorts can get married. I won't weigh in on that. But I've had various kinds of LTR's with people I met through this site. Some are still clients and friends now, some are "just" friends now. One of the first posts I ever wrote on this site, when it was Hooboy's, back in like 2001, was whether you can be friends with clients. I answered that you could. Turns out I was right for once. ;)

 

So I have been able to have my cake, and fuck it, too. (Don't think about that analogy too much). I made a lot of money spending time with smart and sexy and sweet people I met here, who have enriched my life in every way.

 

Now, on to the spiritual side, and rebirth.

 

I can read a lot of subtext into what you wrote - some of which might be what you meant, some of which might just be like a Rorschach test. But the part about rebirth and spiritual renewal was very clear.

 

There's several times in my life I've regenerated myself. When I got divorced and came out it was a very painful but also regenerative year, which I spent backpacking alone and organizing a citywide housing coalition that battled banks and created a down payment assistance fund. Then about a decade later I had another strange year of rebirth, when I became an escort. It took me quite a while to get comfortable in my skin doing that - no pun intended.

 

I've also had years when I've known and felt like I was riding the crest of a wave. And it was just sheer fun. You know that when people are saying things like, "Enjoy it while it lasts." And boy did I! And then the wave crashes.

 

So part of what I've been aware of is I've been using this forum to regenerate myself. That may be obvious, and that may be partly why you wrote what you did. Some of it is just sorting out my past. And some of it is like playing with crayons and creating shapes to see what it looks and feels like, and whether that is going to be me and my future.

 

When I got engaged in escorting I mostly put politics aside. Since Trump's election it has obviously become a big focus for me again. And as is my nature, before I act, I think. And think. And think. And write. And write. And write.

 

I know I'm babbling, because I myself am trying to figure out where I am headed. I'm guessing it's some kind of volunteer activity, fighting and organizing as a volunteer for progressive things. I don't really know yet, other than this gives me a space to think, write, and regenerate.

 

QUOTE="Keith30309, post: 1362333, member: 11352"]Not because someone is forcing you. Not because someone suggests it. But simply because your inner goodness, your soul, wants to express its thanks for being born and alive.

 

Exactly. Or in Buddhist terms: Time is not of the essence. It is the essence.

 

You can't force things. I wish I could. But whatever good (or bad) has come out of me in my life has had to find its way, sometimes struggle its way out. You have to let it happen. I think that's how life itself works. That is the gift and the beauty and the mystery and the grace of it.

 

So that's all a rambling, logorrhea-like way of saying thank you all for the opportunity for spiritual rebirth, too. I have spent much of the day on the phone with family and friends, and that's been nice. But this is a place of friends for me, too, even though most of us have never met.

 

Thanks for your wishes and also for sharing your thoughts and hopes with me. Particularly this year, this has been a place to recover, refresh, and regenerate. I deeply appreciate being able to do that with you.

 

Steven

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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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OK, his Birthday is OVER..

 

Lady Kockwood! My dahhhhhling. What pray, tell, has gotten into you?

 

You know how we love to relish these moments of fading, fleeting youth ........ even those of us who are no longer young. :oops:

 

Please, but to have just one more hour. Just one more day.

 

 

Oh, and since it is always all about me.

 

Did I forget to mention that I choreographed a dance to that song from Ragtime for my college senior dance recital?

 

It was called "After The Ball." It began with two Straight couples dancing, and ended with two men dancing.

 

My male dance partner was and still is one of my best Gay friends from college.

 

So not only did I steal the show, because it was the only dance that was both edgy and fun. It also was sort of my first coming out, more than a decade before I actually came out.

 

And it was all thanks to Mary Easter, who ran the dance department and was one of my divas and inspirations in college. Thank you, Mary.

 

886763.jpg

 

Some things take time to mature, Lady Kockwood.

 

Time is not of the essence. It is the essence.

 

And if you let it work for you, there is always magic. In abundance.

 

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jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

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Lady Kockwood! My dahhhhhling. What pray, tell, has gotten into you?

 

You know how we love to relish these moments of fading, fleeting youth ........ even those of us who are no longer young. :oops:

 

Please, but to have just one more hour. Just one more day.

 

 

Oh, and since it is always all about me.

 

Did I forget to mention that I choreographed a dance to that song from Ragtime for my college senior dance recital?

 

It was called "After The Ball." It began with two Straight couples dancing, and ended with two men dancing.

 

My male dance partner was and still is one of my best Gay friends from college.

 

So not only did I steal the show, because it was the only dance that was both edgy and fun. It also was sort of my first coming out, more than a decade before I actually came out.

 

And it was all thanks to Mary Easter, who ran the dance department and was one of my divas and inspirations in college. Thank you, Mary.

 

886763.jpg

 

Some things take time to mature, Lady Kockwood.

 

Time is not of the essence. It is the essence.

 

And if you let it work for you, there is always magic. In abundance.

 

 

 

Nah, you are just milking it for another slice of Baskin Robbins Fudgy the Whale B-day cake. Enuf already. Let the memories light the corners of your mind.... Move on, it's over, and you are an Ancient bitch... Next year i'll make sure to put streamers on your wheelchair.

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