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Old Habits Die Hard

jjkrkwood

By jjkrkwood
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jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

Posted
Posted

The Current Gay Retirement Destinations thread prompted me to think about this.... Over the years I have commented about Downsizing as you enter your Golden Years: purging yourself of crap that has gone untouched or that you havent looked at in decades, but is stashed away and taking up space. I have been doing that. But now that I actually Retired, I have undertaken a huge apt renovation, basically re-doing everything with a whole new look. It's my gift to myself, as opposed to a complete re-location as discussed in the Gay Retire Destination thread....

 

It's a long process, and I am working with an interior designer to make sure that what I think are good choices, are REALLY good choices. He keeps trying to convince me that every table doesnt need a knick-knack, do-dad, and thing-a-magig, and every vase doesnt need a flower or plant, and every chair or sofa doesnt need a throw pillow. I am old school when it comes to decorating, more is More, and I love to collect, and UN-fortuantely have amassed a bunch of collectible crap that I am finding hard to discard. I keep saying "well maybe it will look OK over here instead" ? The answer is NO ! The collectible stuff was fun and nice to look at until it came to Cleaning day, when it took me HOURS of unneccesary time to clean all the shit.... So little by little my beloved treasures are making their exits. And although I had a tear in my eye at first, I am thrilled at how its shaping up. It's clean, crisp and MO-dern.... and easy to care for... But every now and then, I find myself wanting to add a do-dad here or there, at which point I stop, take a breath, have a cookie, and wait for the urge to pass....

 

I guess Old Habits do die Hard.... Anyone else experience a similar issue ????

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gallahadesquire Grand Master

gallahadesquire

Posted
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My mother's ashes were delivered unceremoniously--her urn was left by DHL, no signature required.

 

I put her in the built-in bookshelf. My sister came to visit:

"Where is she?" she asked.

"She's in the bookshelf."

"Where?"

"On the top shelf."

"Oh ... I didn't see her! She fits right in with the decor!"

It's a nice urn. I should post a photo.

Eric Hassan Mentor

+ Eric Hassan

Posted
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In the middle of my clinical career, I traveled for work. I would pick up and relocate every 6 months or so and I became good at not collecting crap because I didn't want to move it. I started tossing/donating/giving away/ritually burning things that I didn't use since the last move, except for things like my birth certificate, tax returns, etc. I've stayed put now for almost 13 years and I have carried on with the practice of regularly getting rid of stuff I'm not using, and I've become really good at not acquiring a whole lot of stuff in the first place, so I don't often find myself purging.

 

There were a few times when it felt difficult to get rid of something, largely things that I was holding on to for sentimental value, but I've found that even years later, I'm still left with the memories, and I don't miss the stuff.

rvwnsd Grand Master

rvwnsd

Posted
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After relocating with very little time to prepare, unpacking and finding places to store things became a constant reminder of how much crap I have. Now I'm in the process of getting rid of crap. It is a great feeling. Will be even greater when all the stuff is gone.

Travis69 Grand Master

+ Travis69

Posted
Posted

If I can give something away to someone who will appreciate it and enjoy it I can part with things easily. If I know it will end up in a landfill I can't bring myself to throw it away. I do try to move furniture around every few months, use different accessories and hang different artwork to give myself a new environment to look at. My taste is definitely NOT the taste of my sister, especially the artwork, so I know when I die it will all just be trashed. That kind of upsets me. Maybe I should get a mausoleum that I can decorate for my afterlife. Perhaps a lamp, vase and a few art books on top of the casket with artwork on all the walls. Also must have a nice oriental on the floor. Perhaps a chair and ottoman in one corner. We'll see.

Bucky Proficient

Bucky

Posted
Posted

I've designed and decorated one of the coolest, most comfortable apartments in the world, worthy of an Architectural Digest spread.

Or so I think.

That's all that really matters.

bigvalboy Grand Master

bigvalboy

Posted
Posted

I love all my crap. When I left LA I purged a dumpster full of it, but still managed to fill the back end of an Allied eighteen wheeler. What they hauled three thousand miles are the things that I truly love and can't part with, but I agree with JJ, less is more sometimes, and as of this year I've adopted a style where every surface and every inch of wall doesn't have something attached to it. Refusing to purge any further, all of the excess goes into storage, and every 6 months or so, I rotate a few pieces in and out. What ends up happening is that I get a slightly different look which keeps my interest.

 

When I die, I'm sure my heirs will back one of those dumpster to the door and toss it all out. That's fine by me. Hopefully one or two of them will find a knickknack or painting that they will keep to remember me by. Until then I will enjoy it all...

rvwnsd Grand Master

rvwnsd

Posted
Posted
...all of the excess goes into storage, and every 6 months or so, I rotate a few pieces in and out. What ends up happening is that I get a slightly different look which keeps my interest....

I intend to do the same with the things I don't purge.

 

......Hopefully one or two of them will find a knickknack or painting that they will keep to remember me by. Until then I will enjoy it all...

When my dad died we filled a Dumpster with crap (and I do mean crap) in a day. I took a couple of knick knacks that were of sentimental value, but there was still the matter of the artwork. He was a painter and neither my brother nor I had the wall space to display it all. Not to mention that a lot of it was simply not our taste. The problem solved itself as the parents of the neighbor kids who looked in on him traipsed over to give their condolences. One of the moms was admiring a painting that neither of us wanted. My brother and I looked at her and said "take it!" We grabbed what we wanted and the majority of the other paintings now adorn the neighbors' walls, including the nude of my mom. The art teacher across the street mentioned the beautiful story behind the painting. Neither my brother nor I felt comfortable having a nude of our mom hanging on the wall and she said she had a great spot for it in her home, so we let her have it. She re-framed it and made a museum-like information card that hangs next to the painting. I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Good Grief Proficient

Good Grief

Posted
Posted
I've designed and decorated one of the coolest, most comfortable apartments in the world, worthy of an Architectural Digest spread.

Or so I think.

That's all that really matters.

 

Pictures?

 

Yes, pics? Archiwhore (practicing) here. Let us see.

LaffingBear Veteran

LaffingBear

Posted
Posted

Im on a major declutter effort. Six months or more.

 

I actually feel healthier. Neatness begets more neatness. Good habits become contagious. Im shopping wiser. My yard is fluorishing after years of passive neglect.

 

My living room was cluttered with inherited, sentimental, collectibles. Lalique, Steuben, Waterford, Baccarrat, porcelain, etc. Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe, waiting to shatter in an earthquake. Now its all safely packed away.

 

I even feel like Im getting better value from my housekeeper.. some areas were so cluttered, she couldnt really clean them effectively.

sf westcoaster Mentor

+ sf westcoaster

Posted
Posted

I recently moved after being in the same home for 53 years. I have always thought that I was not a collector of "thing", but the moved proved me wrong. As I was preparing for the move I would open a storage area (chest, cabinet etc) and time after time find numerous items that either had not been used in the last twenty years or items that I had actually forgotten that I had. Anything that fell into either of the categories was given away. It is easy to accumulate when you stay in one location and I now realize that the best way not accumulate is to not acquire. Things are nice moments but memories are just as good and possibly better. An item I bought on a trip to a national park has been given away, but I still have vivid memories of that park,

Much like jjk--- my decorator showed me that I need not have something on every table, chair etc.

nycman Grand Master

+ nycman

Posted
Posted
Maybe I should get a mausoleum that I can decorate for my afterlife. Perhaps a lamp, vase and a few art books on top of the casket with artwork on all the walls. Also must have a nice oriental on the floor. Perhaps a chair and ottoman in one corner. We'll see.

 

You do know that when you "move into" a mausoleum.....your dead.....right?

jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

Posted
  • Author
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You do know that when you "move into" a mausoleum.....your dead.....right?

 

Sure he does, but he's making it pretty and comfy for those that will "visit"... Please, just no plastic covers on the furniture ! :confused:

jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Storage Bins are unnecessary, because the "I may want/need it some day" usually never comes... You forget about it and it ends up just taking up space . No more storage bins for me. It is either actively being used, or it just doesnt exist anymore. It's a behavior that's very hard to Learn, after you've been conditioned to "accummulate" stuff for decades. But "clutter" is a "seniors" worst enemy..... and I can actually SEE and appreciate the things I do have now. Everything looks like it has a "purpose", rather than looking like a random souvenir shop.... And I enjoyed putting stuff out at the curb for trash pickup and watching strangers pass by and "take" stuff they liked... Some pricier stuff went on EBAY, but I was very surprised that donation centers were "quite picky" about what they would accept for donation. They make you submit pics of the stuff you want to donate, and then "they judge it" worthy or not... But I am more than confident that everything I purged ended up where it needed to be.

Eric Hassan Mentor

+ Eric Hassan

Posted
Posted
If I can give something away to someone who will appreciate it and enjoy it I can part with things easily. If I know it will end up in a landfill I can't bring myself to throw it away. I do try to move furniture around every few months, use different accessories and hang different artwork to give myself a new environment to look at. My taste is definitely NOT the taste of my sister, especially the artwork, so I know when I die it will all just be trashed. That kind of upsets me. Maybe I should get a mausoleum that I can decorate for my afterlife. Perhaps a lamp, vase and a few art books on top of the casket with artwork on all the walls. Also must have a nice oriental on the floor. Perhaps a chair and ottoman in one corner. We'll see.

You *could* build a pyramid ....

rvwnsd Grand Master

rvwnsd

Posted
Posted
...I was very surprised that donation centers were "quite picky" about what they would accept for donation. They make you submit pics of the stuff you want to donate, and then "they judge it" worthy or not... But I am more than confident that everything I purged ended up where it needed to be.

It was like that when I lived in Chicago - especially Salvation Army. Here in Phoenix, Goodwill accepts almost everything except trash.

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