Taking the plunge

[top_guy_atl]

After several years of lurking, I decided to take the plunge. Today, I joined this forum and I also arranged my first hire. I'm very nervous about doing this, but I'm also very excited. The reason I'm nervous is because of the guy I hired and what I've asked for. Something outside my comfort zone.

 

I'm a total top and haven't been fucked in over 15 years. I admit I have control issues and thoroughly enjoy taking a submissive guy and making him mine. I've been trying to get more experience in BDSM, but finding it difficult to find what I'm looking for.

 

The guy I hired has been reviewed favorably, he's hot as hell and has a beautiful large penis.

 

Why I'm nervous... He has been asked to take total control over me. It'll be BFE, but I will have no control over what happens. I didn't commit to getting fucked, but didn't rule it out. He's got a big one and I don't think I can take it. He's bigger and more muscular than me, so I expect to be man-handled. If I resort to old habits and try to take control, he's going to put a stop it it.

 

I'm curious. Has anyone arranged an encounter like this... totally against your normal type to experience something different? I could have arranged a meeting with someone more like what I normally go for, but none of the guys in Atlanta have interested me enough initiate contact.

[+ azdr0710]

doesn't sound too crazy to me.....just communicate with him ahead of time and make sure the "script" is nailed down (but don't communicate too much or he'll think you're a giddy, nervous newbie....oh, wait )

 

I dunno....do you need to establish a "safe word"?

[LaffingBear]

This is EXACTLY what the industry is about. Be happy that you are exploring something that interests you. You're hiring a guy with a good reputation.... most likely outcome, you'll wonder why you waited so long.

[Mydavid]

Communicate more beforehand. I once met a guy, when he was fucking me dominantly, I felt painful and asked him to stop, but he thought it was kind of sexual fancy and fucked me even harder.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Welcome to the forums @top_guy_atl ! Good luck with your first hire. I cannot give you any advice because I am a total top myself and do not feel any desire to go back to explore my bottom side. So big kudos to you for this adventurous experiment.

Just one thing. Do not even dare to say again we have control issues. We are PCF, Proud Control Freaks.

[MikeyGMin]

You might want to have just a little more communication with him about when no will really means no. I think there's a big difference between a soft no (It hurts but keep going and I'll work through it) and a hard no (Stop what you're doing immediately.)

 

You've kind of giving him mixed signals. I assume he's a top. And you've told him to take total control without ruling out bottoming. It seems natural that that is where the session may take you and he could easily confuse a hard no with a soft no because of what you've asked for. He could easily assume you want to be coerced, and maybe you do, but I wouldn't go into a situation like that without clarity.

 

Just my opinion.

 

Welcome to the Forum!

[+ poolboy48220]

I'm with the above. This situation just screams "safe word" to me.

[Bearofdistinction]

I'm with the above. This situation just screams "safe word" to me.

+127

DING!

 

Maybe this is a multi-safeword

 

LEMON = Slowdown and take it easier

 

PEACH = This is too intense -- move-on to something else - but come back to this

 

CHERRY = STOP You Sadistic Mother=Fucker you are tearing me apart!

 

BANANNA --- Don't pull out - just let me get used to your banana before you plough me so deep I can taste your pre-cum in the back of my throat.

 

Please attached these as appropriately colored post-it notes to your chest and back for the Gentlemans Reading Pleasure!

[LaffingBear]

+127

DING!

 

Maybe this is a multi-safeword

 

LEMON = Slowdown and take it easier

 

PEACH = This is too intense -- move-on to something else - but come back to this

 

CHERRY = STOP You Sadistic Mother=Fucker you are tearing me apart!

 

BANANNA --- Don't pull out - just let me get used to your banana before you plough me so deep I can taste your pre-cum in the back of my throat.

 

Please attached these as appropriately colored post-it notes to your chest and back for the Gentlemans Reading Pleasure!

 

You left out the encouraging word, when the bottom goes

 

Oh Oh Oh OH

OOOOOOOH, Sweet Mystery of Life, at Last I've Found You..........

[LaffingBear]

[Bearofdistinction]

 

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[top_guy_atl]

Thanks for the advise and suggestions. I'm very appreciative. I'm comfortable with the conversations we've had so far. I didn't mention to him that I had an interested in BDSM and certainly didn't ask for that to be part of the scenario. I asked for BFE with him taking control. I'll make a point to repeat that when we meet. From what I can tell, he's not too much of a hard-core dominant top. He advertises as versatile-top and offered to flip when I mention that normally topped.

 

I'm humbled to have Mr. Wolfe visit my thread... how I've drooled over that beautiful man.

[Bearofdistinction]

Establish a safe word and boundaries beforehand. Any kind of BDSM can be fun, exhilarating and overall an amazing experience as long as it is done safely. The provider should have a good amount of BDSM experience especially since you're relatively inexperienced and still learning. Make sure the provider knows this otherwise it can go downhill quickly. Always remember, the submissive is the one who is ultimately in control of the situation. When you are absolutely done, make it known and don't hesitate. A good dominant knows how to exercise restraint and respect the submissive.

 

Wise advice from an expd Gentleman Caller -