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What is really going on with people?

Mocha

By Mocha
in Questions About Hiring

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BigRic Community Regular

+ BigRic

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<Raising my feet since, as the "the kids" (used to?) say, someone just peed allll over the floor.> LOL.

 

I love D's line after Jake calls out Alonzo for having been looking for "Cash!" in the Sandman/Macy Gray's house in Training Day: "Speak on it, son!" LMAO.

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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When you used to post on RealJock, most of the threads you started were complaints/rants. Now here, much of what you post are complaints/rants.

 

Yes, most of the institutional/structural problems faced by black gays in America is an unfair and largely unavoidable result of being born into a white supremacist society, which includes white supremacy amongst gays. But not *all* of our problems are so related, especially at the person-to-person level. I think you conflate the two; when we do that, sometimes we don't see the need for self-improvement.

 

No, we cannot ignore the impact of bigotry, or the wealth gap, or other larger societal factors on American lives, and we must work to raise awareness and change our society for the better. Simultaneously though, every person must eventually accept that she is the common denominator in her problems. There is no way around doing this work if you want to grow and thrive.

 

Over the years, across various forums, when it has been pointed out to you that your rants/complaints are off-putting and come across as insecure and even whiny, you have rejected that feedback. I suspect you will do the same here. But whether you will admit it or not, it needs to be said again and again that the type of personality that complains a lot online, writes long internet rants over and over...this type of person is almost always going to, in real life, find people distancing themselves. Constant negativity and baggage, even when justified, is just not attractive. It sounds like to me you've somewhow gotten a reputation for having an unattractive personality, which is bad for finding clients, friends, and lovers.

 

I complain to friends and others occassionallty and rarely about racism, racial blinders, and the racial hierarchy in the gay community, which is as rampant if not more rampant than in larger society. Sometimes, a reminder is needed, and I will not let bigots and white supremacists off the hook (economic anxiety my black ass!). But I don't do it daily or even weekly, because very few white guys care enough to challenge a status quo that benefits them. It's much more productive to work on self-improvement and cultivating meaningful positive relationships, which often requires leaving your baggage and negativity elsewhere.

 

Yes, I'm still often on the outside looking in due to my skin color, which sucks, but I refuse to let Trump's America crush my soul and self-worth, and I am included and integrated much more often now than I was when I had my (75% justified) chip on my shoulder. I stay informed and keep a healthy outrage, but I don't do race or politics outside of business hours. The time and emotional energy wasted is not worth it: it distracts from spending time living healthier and wealthier.

 

Okay, so who are you though? Though I appreciate you trying to share a bit of your perspective, it still comes off a bit insecure and unapologetic on your end to reference my style of posting, while simultaneously placing yourself behind a silhouette. I'd appreciate it if you followed up and emailed me in private, rather than leaving to guess.

 

That said...the way you feel about me, that's your opinion you've formed of me. Opinions are like assholes, FUCK EM. What do you get out of telling me that because some anonymous people have formed a multitude of (negative) opinions about me, that I automatically have bad reputation? From who? If I had a bad reputation....I'd be in fear of my life to even walk out the door or be in crowds of gay men who...like you, may have "read my posts on an Internet forum" HAHAHAHA. See how foolish and paranoid that sounds?

 

Don't be a pawn. Don't get caught up in the hype. Half the shit I talk about is meant to be taken light heartedly and in the moment. You make it seem like I'm the only person who has challenges in life. That's A LOT of people. Most Everyone has some extent of drama and baggage and negativity. I know it's cheesy and made for T.V., but don't you watch the Bachelorette? Unless they are fortunate enough to have had the right resources and it happened for them...Don't make someone feel inferior simply because their struggle differs from yours, or you because you dismiss someone with prejudice (that being, dismissing me for my posts, with prejudice).

 

I know you were trying to help, but it came across accusatory. Part of the reason I don't fool with realjock and same as here...too many judgemental people pointing the finger trying to make someone look bad, without really divulging their own skeletons out the closet.

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José Soplanucas Grand Master

+ José Soplanucas

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That said...the way you feel about me, that's your opinion you've formed of me. Opinions are like assholes, FUCK EM. What do you get out of telling me that because some anonymous people have formed a multitude of (negative) opinions about me, that I automatically have bad reputation? From who? If I had a bad reputation....I'd be in fear of my life to even walk out the door or be in crowds of gay men who...like you, may have "read my posts on an Internet forum" HAHAHAHA. See how foolish and paranoid that sounds?

 

No, Mocha. If you had a bad reputation you should not be in fear of walking out the door. You should be in fear of not having clients.

And allow me to point out, you complain about that a lot. A lot.

Do you see the connection?

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bigvalboy Grand Master

bigvalboy

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When you used to post on RealJock, most of the threads you started were complaints/rants. Now here, much of what you post are complaints/rants.

 

Yes, most of the institutional/structural problems faced by black gays in America is an unfair and largely unavoidable result of being born into a white supremacist society, which includes white supremacy amongst gays. But not *all* of our problems are so related, especially at the person-to-person level. I think you conflate the two; when we do that, sometimes we don't see the need for self-improvement.

 

No, we cannot ignore the impact of bigotry, or the wealth gap, or other larger societal factors on American lives, and we must work to raise awareness and change our society for the better. Simultaneously though, every person must eventually accept that she is the common denominator in her problems. There is no way around doing this work if you want to grow and thrive.

 

Over the years, across various forums, when it has been pointed out to you that your rants/complaints are off-putting and come across as insecure and even whiny, you have rejected that feedback. I suspect you will do the same here. But whether you will admit it or not, it needs to be said again and again that the type of personality that complains a lot online, writes long internet rants over and over...this type of person is almost always going to, in real life, find people distancing themselves. Constant negativity and baggage, even when justified, is just not attractive. It sounds like to me you've somewhow gotten a reputation for having an unattractive personality, which is bad for finding clients, friends, and lovers.

 

I complain to friends and others occassionallty and rarely about racism, racial blinders, and the racial hierarchy in the gay community, which is as rampant if not more rampant than in larger society. Sometimes, a reminder is needed, and I will not let bigots and white supremacists off the hook (economic anxiety my black ass!). But I don't do it daily or even weekly, because very few white guys care enough to challenge a status quo that benefits them. It's much more productive to work on self-improvement and cultivating meaningful positive relationships, which often requires leaving your baggage and negativity elsewhere.

 

Yes, I'm still often on the outside looking in due to my skin color, which sucks, but I refuse to let Trump's America crush my soul and self-worth, and I am included and integrated much more often now than I was when I had my (75% justified) chip on my shoulder. I stay informed and keep a healthy outrage, but I don't do race or politics outside of business hours. The time and emotional energy wasted is not worth it: it distracts from spending time living healthier and wealthier.

 

 

Well written and "Food for Thought"....

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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No, Mocha. If you had a bad reputation you should not be in fear of walking out the door. You should be in fear of not having clients.

And allow me to point out, you complain about that a lot. A lot.

Do you see the connection?

 

Oh stop being a such a mean queen. You've been wanting to fuck me for ages, when are you going to make it happen? Be part of the solution, not the problem. Be worried about getting some ass, not being a pain in the ass. I haven't posted here at all since February. How many clients have you had since? Exactly. See the connection?

 

I also don't have a bad reputation. 100% rated on men4rent and all good reviews on RentMen. See the connection?

 

Stop trying to control how you want me to think and write, and worry about yourself. And word on the street, it's YOU who has the less than stellar reputation for calling guys out their name and something else that I'd probably get expelled for saying.

 

Yes, but Mocha's not hungry. Maybe it's time for another name change. That'll fix everything. o_O

 

I'm going to change and rearrange your face, and you'll need Dr. Drew to fix that.

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Larstrup Grand Master

Larstrup

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Okay, so who are you though? Though I appreciate you trying to share a bit of your perspective, it still comes off a bit insecure and unapologetic on your end to reference my style of posting, while simultaneously placing yourself behind a silhouette. I'd appreciate it if you followed up and emailed me in private, rather than leaving to guess.

 

That said...the way you feel about me, that's your opinion you've formed of me. Opinions are like assholes, FUCK EM. What do you get out of telling me that because some anonymous people have formed a multitude of (negative) opinions about me, that I automatically have bad reputation? From who? If I had a bad reputation....I'd be in fear of my life to even walk out the door or be in crowds of gay men who...like you, may have "read my posts on an Internet forum" HAHAHAHA. See how foolish and paranoid that sounds?

 

Don't be a pawn. Don't get caught up in the hype. Half the shit I talk about is meant to be taken light heartedly and in the moment. You make it seem like I'm the only person who has challenges in life. That's A LOT of people. Most Everyone has some extent of drama and baggage and negativity. I know it's cheesy and made for T.V., but don't you watch the Bachelorette? Unless they are fortunate enough to have had the right resources and it happened for them...Don't make someone feel inferior simply because their struggle differs from yours, or you because you dismiss someone with prejudice (that being, dismissing me for my posts, with prejudice).

 

I know you were trying to help, but it came across accusatory. Part of the reason I don't fool with realjock and same as here...too many judgemental people pointing the finger trying to make someone look bad, without really divulging their own skeletons out the closet.

 

This response alone, from a well reasoned and intellectual member to your posts, just demonstrates that you're not looking for help, you're simply desperate for attention.

 

Perhaps you and your pal JD should go on a whirlwind tour together. You can both lather yourselves in your own misery about how unfair life has been to you both. In the meantime many people, including me, will be hiring very interesting and very hot men of color for our desire to spend time with well-balanced and hot Black men

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José Soplanucas Grand Master

+ José Soplanucas

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This response alone, to a well reasoned and intellectual response to your posts, just demonstrates that you're not looking for help, you're simply desperate for attention.

 

Perhaps you and your pal JD should go on a whirlwind tour together. You can lather yourselves in your own misery about how unfair life has been to you both.

Oh, I see where my street reputation comes from.

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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This response alone, to a well reasoned and intellectual response to your posts, just demonstrates that you're not looking for help, you're simply desperate for attention.

 

Perhaps you and your pal JD should go on a whirlwind tour together. You can lather yourselves in your own misery about how unfair life has been to you both.

 

Obviously yours in miserable enough that you constantly feel compelled to concern yourself with every single post I make, whether or not it's addressed to you.

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Larstrup Grand Master

Larstrup

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Obviously yours in miserable enough that you constantly feel compelled to concern yourself with every single post I make, whether or not it's addressed to you.

 

If people didn't pay attention to your posts mocha you'd probably be on suicide watch.

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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As I recall you're at least 28 years old. Simply from reading your posts, it appears you should be a lot further along in life than you are.

 

Say What? Your old decrepit ass keep starting arguments with my 28 year old self. Talk about maturity. My foot should be further along up your ass right now, but you either have an enormously fat one, or non at all. Rendering it useless.

 

Anyhow I'm done with this topic also. Clearly the same old munchkins want to keep up conflict and detract from the overall course of the thread. Everytime. Thanks for you who have posted, i have all the information for the time being and have a great memorial day!

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DickyF Rising Star

+ DickyF

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Mocha

Because you use extremely broad stereotypes it rubs many people the wrong way. Further your complaints are about not getting money or things from others who seem at best acquaintances or clients. In your first post (which is now deleted) and subsequent posts you complain that gays are selfish, they won't "invest" in you (not sure what you mean except to hand you money), it's "me me me" with gays, they spend extravagantly on themselves or on whites (and not on you), they are cheapskates, even though they have big houses they won't put you up, etc., etc.

If these posts are examples of your normal attitude then I can see your problem.

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YoungAD Enthusiast

YoungAD

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Say What? Your old decrepit ass keep starting arguments with my 28 year old self. Talk about maturity. My foot should be further along up your ass right now, but you either have an enormously fat one, or non at all. Rendering it useless.

 

Anyhow I'm done with this topic also. Clearly the same old munchkins want to keep up conflict and detract from the overall course of the thread. Everytime. Thanks for you who have posted, i have all the information for the time being and have a great memorial day!

 

I must admit I always find these statements to be most curious, in that you repeatedly pretend to have actually accomplished something or effected a change in another poster's (or client's) behavior.

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MikeBiDude Grand Master

MikeBiDude

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Say What? Your old decrepit ass keep starting arguments with my 28 year old self. Talk about maturity. My foot should be further along up your ass right now, but you either have an enormously fat one, or non at all. Rendering it useless.

 

Anyhow I'm done with this topic also. Clearly the same old munchkins want to keep up conflict and detract from the overall course of the thread. Everytime. Thanks for you who have posted, i have all the information for the time being and have a great memorial day!

Are you 28 now? Or 28 two years ago when you posted this August, 2015?

 

So hard to figure out where I want to relocate, any ideas?

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