Help.

[Jock123]

Hey everyone!

 

As alot of you've been wondering why I havent posted as much lately...I'm in a pickle(Yes I just said pickle)

 

I use to be very active with many, MANY regulars. One in particular I have fallen for. I can without a doubt say that I have fallen In love with a client. I know escorts are assumed to be detached, as If robots simply performing a "task". But I am human. So here I am, still In college, and I've fallen for a client who is 4 states away. My client feels the same. He's admitted he's also In love with me and he's even gone as far as supporting my life. Basically sending me money whenever I need(He has a high paying job). Meanwhile I've found myself not focusing as much In school(Thank god the school year just ended) and SERIOUSLY considering moving In with him.

 

 

I dont know...my family is all here. They dont know I'm gay, let alone an escort. How could I even explain not finishing my degree and moving In with a man they've never met states away?

 

 

He also wants me to be exclusive with him. And while I havent seen many new clients as of recent...I have been half assing my work I.E responding to Emails etc.

 

 

 

I dont know...Forgive me if I sound all over the place here. Frankly I am. I feel like I'm at a Crossroads. Its either all or nothing at this point.

 

Have any of you Fallen..legitmately FALLEN for an Escort/Client? I'd be really interested to hear anyone else's stories or feedback.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm happy for you but unhappy for the majority of Forum members who will be reading this. This rare occurrence will just fuel some poor Forum Member's fantasies that it has happened to him.

 

As I've never really been in a relationship, I probably shouldn't butt in. But it brings to mind something that happened to a former friend of mine. I hope you won't mind a bit of a story. The first part of the story doesn't really apply to you. I'll indicate the part that does.

 

Pete was a guy in his early 40's-a professional guy. He had just gone through his second divorce. His wife had been cheating on him and flaunting the fact. Plus she had been able to hide some assets and he was going to have to be paying a lot of alimony and child support. He was in a bad mental shape about all of this and was seeing a mental health counselor. The counselor told him not to have anything to do with women for something like 6 months to a year. At the end of this period, he went to a work convention and met a woman he was attracted to.

 

Ok this is the part that might apply---

 

The woman Sharon lived in a St. Louis. Pete lived in Dallas. The two started a relationship. Sharon would come down to Dallas and visit him. Pete would fly up to St. Louis and visit her. They would also go away to romantic places. After about 6 to 7 months, they decided that Sharon would move to Dallas along with her two children -ages 6 and 8 and move in with Pete. After they had been living about together 4 or 5 months they decided to marry. The marriage turned into a nightmare.

 

 

Now while your scenario and Pete's are not exactly the same-what is the same is that you and your potential boyfriend have only met for fun times. You've never been around each other on a full-time basis. And now you are thinking about uprooting your entire life and planning to move in with someone that you've again only met for brief intense meetings of pleasure. Neither one of you really knows what the other one is like on 24/7 basis, but you are still thinking about moving in together without that knowledge. While obviously it could work out-but you two aren't really giving the relationship a fair chance without knowing each other on a more usual, day-to-day basis.

 

And while I am a romantic, and hope for happily ever after,-then it still seems to me that finishing a degree whether at your current institution or where your intended lives would be a good thing. After all, you say your intended has a nice job-but do you want to be a househusband your entire life? Wouldn't you like a career also? And say it doesn't work out. Do you have a fallback plan for resuming school? If you could stay financially secure and be able to pick up school again if the relationship floundered, I'd feel a lot better about you quitting school now to be with him.

 

 

Those are just some thoughts. Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

 

Gman

[big-n-tall]

I'll have to agree with Gman's comments...

 

It's none of my business what you do with your life... but I will say without a doubt finish school dammit!!! You can't say for sure what will happen with this new love affair. It could be something that lasts until the day you die... or not. Don't have regrets that you didn't finish school, if things don't go the way you hoped. That is just being real.

 

Anyway, to answer your final question... yes, there are stories on here about escorts/clients falling for each other. Some of the guys I've seen have told me stories about them dating clients. It's possible. We're all humans, life and emotions aren't something we can control (although some may argue you can control your emotions to a degree). Just don't give up everything (as you seem to be) to go live with some guy, unless you know its absolutely real. Take it slow.

 

For me personally, I would definitely date a working guy if he and I were in a good frame of mind/place to do it. I've talked about a working guy who pretty much only wants gas money to come see me, he and I have talked about dating each other. Neither of us are fully prepared for it. We both agreed that when we are and if we feel the same way about each other... then we'll give it a go and date.

 

I do hope escorts/clients don't think is the norm... this isn't a movie... this isn't Pretty Woman. However, things like this can and do happen. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

 

You've been very good natured and even tempered on these forums. I don't know you personally... I can only wish you the best sir.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Hey everyone!

 

As alot of you've been wondering why I havent posted as much lately...I'm in a pickle(Yes I just said pickle)

 

I use to be very active with many, MANY regulars. One in particular I have fallen for. I can without a doubt say that I have fallen In love with a client. I know escorts are assumed to be detached, as If robots simply performing a "task". But I am human. So here I am, still In college, and I've fallen for a client who is 4 states away. My client feels the same. He's admitted he's also In love with me and he's even gone as far as supporting my life. Basically sending me money whenever I need(He has a high paying job). Meanwhile I've found myself not focusing as much In school(Thank god the school year just ended) and SERIOUSLY considering moving In with him.

 

 

I dont know...my family is all here. They dont know I'm gay, let alone an escort. How could I even explain not finishing my degree and moving In with a man they've never met states away?

 

 

He also wants me to be exclusive with him. And while I havent seen many new clients as of recent...I have been half assing my work I.E responding to Emails etc.

 

 

 

I dont know...Forgive me if I sound all over the place here. Frankly I am. I feel like I'm at a Crossroads. Its either all or nothing at this point.

 

Have any of you Fallen..legitmately FALLEN for an Escort/Client? I'd be really interested to hear anyone else's stories or feedback.

 

What is the longest time you two actually spent together? Moving to living together, and becoming exclusive may change the nature of your relationship. What would happen if he stop supporting you financially? would you still consider moving in with him?

 

Forgive me if I am skeptical. I accept that it is not impossible, but the scenario you are playing with is highly improbable. Give it a try. Do not take any decisions that will be hard to undo. Try living together as a experiment, do not take it yet permanently. Explore carefully the situation and your feelings.

[amused1]

Whatever else you decide, please, PLEASE finish school first. Once you've done that there is no barrier to moving wherever you like saying you are "in search of opportunities." Love should withstand the time and distance. If for some reason it doesn't, well, then what other life challenges would have brought the relationship to an end leaving you with an incomplete degree?

[+ Cash4Trash]

Once again, if he truly loves YOU, not the escort facade, he will want you to finish school.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Whatever else you decide, please, PLEASE finish school first. Once you've done that there is no barrier to moving wherever you like saying you are "in search of opportunities." Love should withstand the time and distance. If for some reason it doesn't, well, then what other life challenges would have brought the relationship to an end leaving you with an incomplete degree?

Once again, if he truly loves YOU, not the escort facade, he will want you to finish school.

 

I agree. But he can finish school after transferring.

[uwsman2]

Finishing school is vitally important for your future. If this client really loves you, he will want to support you in that.

[+ PapaTony]

I agree with others, finish your education! But you also have a lot of growing up to do.

 

By your own admission:

 

a) you're still "working" for this alleged love of your life - he "is basically supporting you" "sends you money whenever you need"

 

b) you're already dishonest. He wants you to be exclusive but you still see others

 

c) on March 29, 2017 you posted a story elsewhere about going through this very scenario before - falling in love with, moving in with, taking a job with... just to have it fall apart.

 

I need a better premise from which to base any advise I might possibly have for you.

.

[Scott Virginian]

I don't know that I have any great wisdom to add, but for what one more opinion may be worth:

 

Finish school or have a plan to finish school. If you choose to move, make it a priority -- BEFORE you move -- to find a new school that will accept your transfer and give you the same quality of education, and get admitted before you move. If you're not admitted, don't move. Lots of people deal with long distance relationships because of school or work.

 

The comments about only knowing each other in one context are important. Spend some time getting to know each other in other contexts.

 

And then again, I'm going to give you a bit of counter advice. If you have a plan for your education, you've spent some time with him exploring your emotions, and you truly believe you're right and good for each other, try it. Just remember that the most promising relationships don't always work out. You could start a relationship with someone who lives just down the street, and it still wouldn't work out. Part of life is learning how to be resilient, and keep your life going through the ups and downs. Be smart and thoughtful, set up the circumstances to succeed, but if your best mutual judgment is that being together truly makes you happy, then be together.

 

Good luck.

[Scott Virginian]

c) on March 29, 2017 you posted a story elsewhere about going through this very scenario before - falling in love with, moving in with, taking a job with... just to have it fall apart.

.

 

Papa Tony has a point about still working for him and being honest. At the risk of sounding like a bad TV movie, you have to take a deep breath and make the commitment to being completely honest with the guy in question. And you have to detach the financial support from your emotions.

 

I wasn't aware of the March 2017 post. It's a very important consideration, but I would offer one mild caveat. You're at a stage in life where it's normal to fall in and out of love, and people at all stages of life fall in and out of love all the time. People move to follow partners, husbands, wives, all the time. It strains relationships and sometimes breaks them. Thinking that you must never do that again and refusing to enter a relationship because it might end is unrealistic. You DO need to examine why that prior relationship fell apart and whether some lack of judgment or immaturity contributed to it. Maybe it did. So this time, ask yourself better questions and HAVE A PLAN to sustain your future if you try this relationship and it doesn't work out.

[+ Cash4Trash]

Plus don't trust us clients - we all have A.D.D. and are easily distracted by shiny new objects.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Plus don't trust us clients - we all have A.D.D. and are easily distracted by shiny new objects.

 

+1

[marylander1940]

Whatever else you decide, please, PLEASE finish school first. Once you've done that there is no barrier to moving wherever you like saying you are "in search of opportunities." Love should withstand the time and distance. If for some reason it doesn't, well, then what other life challenges would have brought the relationship to an end leaving you with an incomplete degree?

 

That's always a good advice, better safe than sorry!

[Jock123]

I agree with others, finish your education! But you also have a lot of growing up to do.

 

By your own admission:

 

a) you're still "working" for this alleged love of your life - he "is basically supporting you" "sends you money whenever you need"

 

b) you're already dishonest. He wants you to be exclusive but you still see others

 

c) on March 29, 2017 you posted a story elsewhere about going through this very scenario before - falling in love with, moving in with, taking a job with... just to have it fall apart.

 

I need a better premise from which to base any advise I might possibly have for you.

.

 

 

C. WOW. I havent even thought of that. I do have an ex who LITERALLY supported me financially when we moved in together. You're totally right about this. I cant do a "Houseboy". I need to be financially secure on my own. I honestly can give a shit about what someone does for a living(Unlike some escorts who are looking for the Golden Ticket aka a sugardaddy). I need my own career.

 

 

 

Thanks guys for the input. I'm young enough to finish school at a later time(Not that thaat matters considering anyone can finish their degree). There's always the option to transfer. I dont know we DEFIENTLY have great chemistry. The longest I've spent together with him at one time is 2 weeks. He would work, come home and it did feel like we were a couple. I dont know....ugh I HATE falling in love when I was finally getting my life back on track. This wasnt suppose to happen!

[Bayman4Fun]

Mostly ditto other posters. Certainly agree about finishing school and your financial independence.

 

A careful review of your post shows that he wants you to be exclusive, but you're considering relocating and moving in with him.

 

Has he asked you to move there? Has he asked you to move in with him?

[MikeBiDude]

Yes...it can happen. And yes, pay attention to all the good advice here.

[Larstrup]

Falling in love with someone should never entail falling apart yourself. You played house with him for two weeks. You have feelings for him. That's the fun and easy part. Changing your current life-path for feelings at this point is probably ill-advised.

[sincitymix]

C. WOW. I havent even thought of that. I do have an ex who LITERALLY supported me financially when we moved in together. You're totally right about this. I cant do a "Houseboy". I need to be financially secure on my own. I honestly can give a shit about what someone does for a living(Unlike some escorts who are looking for the Golden Ticket aka a sugardaddy). I need my own career.

 

 

 

Thanks guys for the input. I'm young enough to finish school at a later time(Not that thaat matters considering anyone can finish their degree). There's always the option to transfer. I dont know we DEFIENTLY have great chemistry. The longest I've spent together with him at one time is 2 weeks. He would work, come home and it did feel like we were a couple. I dont know....ugh I HATE falling in love when I was finally getting my life back on track. This wasnt suppose to happen!

 

Greg Smart had a somewhat similar experience.

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/when-will-rich-older-guys-learn.110277/#post-1036892

 

Love and lust make you do impulsive things.

Plus i believe your in the military? active or reserves i cant remember..thats a head ache in its own right there.

[MileHigh]

It is absolutely great that you have fallen for him and he has fallen for you. If that's the case, and if he wants you to be exclusive with him and he supports you financially, then there is no reason for you to continue in this line of work. Why would you continue seeking clients of you are being taken care financially by the guy you love?

 

As far as school is concerned, there are NO BUT or IFS... It is a must and imperative that you finish school and get your degree. I truly hope that this will be a long lasting love for you, but love comes and goes and your degree, once competed, will be there with you forever. You need to be independent and be able to have a career, without anyone ever use you not having a degree and you being supported as leverage over you. I truly hope you finish and get that degree, it will be the biggest mistake of your life if you chose not to. Additionally, now that you are going on your summer vacation, it is perfect timing for you to move in with him and live for the next three months together and see how it goes, but once end of August comes, you better get your ass back to school... Just finish school and then you can do whatever you want!

 

I wish you lots of luck and love with everything you do, and this should be a happy moment for you that you have fallen in love for someone who deserves you! Keep us posted!!!

[+ Kufrol]

Your case very well could be the exception to the rule. Pretty Woman scenarios rarely but can occasionally work out. I echo the refrain of many of the posters, continue with your education, because a degree opens doors and can't be taken away from you. Thanks for reaching out via this thread. As you sort through the complexities of your particular situation, remember to breathe and to seek advice from objective resources. Good luck!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Please don't be foolish... Finish your degree. Love can be temporary, but a good education is forever on a resume.

 

As for the other issues, discuss them directly with him, not here. Verbally work through your doubts. Listen to his. Compromise. That's any relationship in a nutshell.

[Guest]

Since summer break is coming up, do you need to be in school? Like are you planning on taking summer classes?

 

If you're both serious about it, why not try living out there for a month. Tell your family it's an internship or something. And see if the magic lasts longer than a weekend. Because like some other people have said, you've only been together during "the fun times" where it's all magical and exciting and you're essentially on vacation.

 

If you don't feel confident about it after a month, then I think you have some more thinking to do. And I also agree that you should finish your degree. You can use that visit to check out schools as well!

[+ sync]

Please don't be foolish... Finish your degree. Love can be temporary, but a good education is forever on a resume.

 

As for the other issues, discuss them directly with him, not here. Verbally work through your doubts. Listen to his. Compromise. That's any relationship in a nutshell.

 

Benjamin Nicholas has stated it beautifully. This is a time to be your own best friend. Make getting your degree a priority and discuss all of your concerns with your intended...it is he with whom you may be living, not us.

I would like to add my best wishes to the best wishes of others for the happiness you seek.

[LTLurker]

In my opinion, you need to step back, establish your priorities and make a plan. Do not shoot from hip on this and talk about what you "can" do because "can" often doesn't happen. What you need to think about is what you "will" do. If your education is as important as you say (which I would hope it is), look now into where you could transfer and the impact (do you lose credits? can you find the same or better quality of education in your major? what would be the time frame for re-starting and graduating?). In the meantime, assuming that the earliest you could transfer is next January, what would you do with your time (would you get a job? if so, what kind? would you just be a kept man?)? What would you do for money (do you have savings? would a job provide you enough income? would you be totally dependent on your man?)? Do you have an exit strategy just in case? I am certainly a romantic and wish the best (although I'm a little sad since you are definitely on "my list" if you made it north of D.C.).

 

I also note that while chemistry is important, any long term relationship depends on a broader base, such as plans for career, family, etc. I advise that you have a heart-to-heart and perhaps some time together in longer bits, but without a full move, to test the waters and how compatible you really are long term. Best of luck to you!