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Extortion and threats

5280Dane

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in The Deli

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5280Dane Collaborator

+ 5280Dane

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I'm curious as to thoughts on here about what options one has when they have been threatened and/or attempts at extortion?

 

Let me preface this with saying I've had only one issue with escorts on Rentmen and for the most part, with some due diligence, most are honest, good people, and a few of them outstanding individuals.

 

My situation, which I'll take full accountability for a lack in judgement was from a massage on backpage. As usual, and I should have known better, the person that showed up was not the person in the ad. Stupidly, my second mistake was laying the money on the counter. This individual, when confronted with the truth attempted to sweet talk his way out of it, minimalizing the situation. I'll admit he did so well, and if the massage would have started then, I would have proceeded as he was not bad looking. Instead though, he grabbed the money and counted it, then proceeded to ask for $100 more and offered to sell me drugs. When I pointed out the amount was what his text reflected and no thanks to the drugs, he bacame upset and threatened me that his "gang" would be out for me. Needless to say I kicked him out - I was in a hotel thankfully, and then blocked his number. He did take the money.

 

Regardless of my poor judgement, I realize not much if anything can be done except to share my experience with others. Unfortunately the ad is gone so I can't even post a picture or link of him. What gets me though, is where our society is at that people have the gumption to do this to another person. This is just a string of recent events in which I not only question the shitty behavior of gay men toward one another, but the overall circumstances in society that allow this to happen. Examples, I've had a guy on Grindr threaten me after he contacted me and I rejected him (I'm no prize by the way) by sending me a picture of an automatic weapon and that he would shoot me. WTF? (Reported to Grindr) and another hookup from Grindr, who after a really nice time, stole cash from wallet as I was showering. Yes my mistakes have prompted me to really step back and enjoy some celibacy.

 

With no options legally, and outside of vigilance I've moved on, but there is a part of me that would love to show these people these actions are not acceptable. Any thoughts, or I do just rely on Karma to do her will?

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Jose305 Enthusiast

Jose305

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Very scary story but I've noticed thugs are getting on gay hookup apps, Backpage, Craigslist and even Rentmen to extort money out of gay men. These guys are thugs and criminals that figured out they can make quick cash by harassing gay men. I had an incident happen to me recently and definitely learned my lesson. Definitely post a 411 on this site to ask about a guy and on Rentmen he has to have 3 reviews minimum. Avoid Backpage and definitely avoid Craigslist!

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Tonyko Proficient

Tonyko

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As far as BP goes (at least here in NYC) the odds of the person in the photos actually being the person who shows up are about the same as seeing the Clinton's on the cross town bus. It has really become notorious for str8 scammers and robbers who work gay men from the grab and run to the more dangerous. NEVER meet a BP-er anywhere other than in public first. And it seems that Grindr is quickly following in that the number of guys on there looking for hookups who are REALLY looking for a paying gig or to sell you a cam show is increasing. It's happened to me several times, as WELL as my getting nasty responses back when I pass on someone. That tells me the guy was prolly "working" or maybe looking to scam or rob, which I've a feeling your gun guy was. And once you pass, the veil lifts and the real guy comes out. The dude lifting from you wallet, well, that can happen with anyone you've JUST met and been with and "think" you know. I think the best way to show these actions are unacceptable is to FOIL them. Always meet someone in the lobby or hotel bar, and if they're not the dude in the photos, walk away. And never leave any valuables alone with someone you just met, even if you met him in church and he's wearing a collar. Them's rules I live by o_O

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jojo Proficient

jojo

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I am with Benjamin Nicholas.

After suffering the likes of Noah Driver, you just have to put on your Big Boy pants, and move on.

 

Did Nicholas and Driver have some kind of relationship in the past? By that I do not mean BF.

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instudiocity Mentor

instudiocity

Posted
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Just move forward and learn from it: Revenge or teaching someone a lesson rarely works in life.

 

Your time is worth more than that.

I don't believe in KARMA, but I do believe that liars, cheats, and thieves will always net losses in and to their lives.

 

A friend has an oft repeated motto that I just love. "I hope he gets EVERYTHING he deserves and MORE!"

 

It's a great way to live - hoping everyone gets their just rewards (and punishments!).

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bigvalboy Grand Master

bigvalboy

Posted
Posted
I'm curious as to thoughts on here about what options one has when they have been threatened and/or attempts at extortion?

 

Let me preface this with saying I've had only one issue with escorts on Rentmen and for the most part, with some due diligence, most are honest, good people, and a few of them outstanding individuals.

 

My situation, which I'll take full accountability for a lack in judgement was from a massage on backpage. As usual, and I should have known better, the person that showed up was not the person in the ad. Stupidly, my second mistake was laying the money on the counter. This individual, when confronted with the truth attempted to sweet talk his way out of it, minimalizing the situation. I'll admit he did so well, and if the massage would have started then, I would have proceeded as he was not bad looking. Instead though, he grabbed the money and counted it, then proceeded to ask for $100 more and offered to sell me drugs. When I pointed out the amount was what his text reflected and no thanks to the drugs, he bacame upset and threatened me that his "gang" would be out for me. Needless to say I kicked him out - I was in a hotel thankfully, and then blocked his number. He did take the money.

 

Regardless of my poor judgement, I realize not much if anything can be done except to share my experience with others. Unfortunately the ad is gone so I can't even post a picture or link of him. What gets me though, is where our society is at that people have the gumption to do this to another person. This is just a string of recent events in which I not only question the shitty behavior of gay men toward one another, but the overall circumstances in society that allow this to happen. Examples, I've had a guy on Grindr threaten me after he contacted me and I rejected him (I'm no prize by the way) by sending me a picture of an automatic weapon and that he would shoot me. WTF? (Reported to Grindr) and another hookup from Grindr, who after a really nice time, stole cash from wallet as I was showering. Yes my mistakes have prompted me to really step back and enjoy some celibacy.

 

With no options legally, and outside of vigilance I've moved on, but there is a part of me that would love to show these people these actions are not acceptable. Any thoughts, or I do just rely on Karma to do her will?

 

Sorry this happened, but like you said, you "should have known better". Your first mistake was letting him in the door when you realized he wasn't the person in the ad. Had you refused him there, none of this would have happened. One of my rules: Lie about who you are, your looks or stats, the meeting is immediately terminated, no questions asked. You should have simply said,"Sorry, but you misrepresented yourself, this won't work, good bye" and closed the door.

 

That said. Just learn from this and move on. Don't beat yourself up, it is unfortunately the way of the world, and you just can't change that.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
Posted
Very scary story but I've noticed thugs are getting on gay hookup apps, Backpage, Craigslist and even Rentmen to extort money out of gay men. These guys are thugs and criminals that figured out they can make quick cash by harassing gay men. I had an incident happen to me recently and definitely learned my lesson. Definitely post a 411 on this site to ask about a guy and on Rentmen he has to have 3 reviews minimum. Avoid Backpage and definitely avoid Craigslist!

 

I've been saying that since I joined 5 years ago!

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5280Dane Collaborator

+ 5280Dane

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Thanks for all responses, and yes I've definitely learned and won't make the same mistake again. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, but rarely make the same one twice. I think it's time to dump Grindr too. The company obviously doesn't take too much effort in keeping the spam out, and combined with the severe decline in manners or even basic decorum, I can spare myself aggravation. While there may be some facts of life today we have to accept, there are still some options.

 

Thanks again everyone. Have a great week

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