Expectations Sensual vs Erotic

[+ 7829V]

I am wondering, some guys offer Sensual and Erotic, what's the difference?

 

I've tried some that offer sensual and we end up doing anal.

I've tried some that offer erotic, and can't even do oral.

So I'm kind of confused

 

The thing is not all really are open to discuss details beforehand... so I was wondering if there's an "industry consensus" on Sensual vs Erotic.

 

Thanks!

[+ poolboy48220]

in a word - no consensus. Much as I wish there was.

[Mydavid]

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/massages-sensual-vs-erotic.120714/

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/question-about-sensual-massage.109605/#post-1026166

[Mydavid]

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/what-do-these-terms-mean.107095/#post-996657

[+ nycman]

When booking a massage with a new masseur, I tend to ignore those stupid...

and largely useless....labels.

 

When I get a massage I expect an excellent massage first and foremost.

 

Everything else is icing on the cake.

 

Having said that...I can't stand a cold "you can finish yourself if you want"

or a distant 15 minute rub and tug. Although I've learned not to expect more...

if that all that's offered...you can be sure I won't be back.

 

I just think trying to weed those guys out before hand based on these

undefined labels...is a waste of time.

[Westsideguy]

Most ads tell you want you want to know. I always ask first. Most will tell you what you want to know. If they don't offer what you want, move on . There are plenty who will.

[Dmitri]

As others mentioned, there is no fast and hard (pun intended!) rule. But on the sex barometer Erotic usually is more sexual overall than Sensual, even the words sound like it! But as you experienced that is not always the case. Another factor at play is the chemistry. But if your are flipping a coin on which would get you more action, I think the obvious choice is Erotic based on the definition of the word vs. Sensual. Another bit of advice, when I call and ask re: massage done in the nude. HE provided, etc. you can feel them out by the tone of their voice if they do answer directly, and even if they don't. The vibes will come thru on the phone and you can make your decision then. Go by your gut instinct after that phone call and the vibes you get.

[Jose Anmo]

I tend to like the element of surprise. So I don't usually ask. But then my priorities are getting a great massage.

[allyouknow]

It usually comes down to money as well. If the massage is 120 bucks its a massage, if it is up to 168-200 there usually is more involved.

[MassageDrew]

My only advice is ask. I go for the massage but when I expect something more then I ask. Find out the boundaries and make sure it's all laid out. Then you're both on the same page as far as your expectations.

[wklucas]

in a word - no consensus. Much as I wish there was.

 

on masseurfinder, I'm sometimes confused by the guys who place ads in both sections - "Heal" (therapeutic ?) & "Relax".....sometimes / usually with some different wording, different pictures....w/"Relax" sometimes offered at higher pricing.....one guy in Chicago in particular - very clear & direct (& strict) about what his "Heal" option entails - in his "Relax" option ad, not much wording change but a few different, more suggestive pics.....he would be an absolute hire for me if I really knew that "Relax" meant massage + "somewhat more".

[Dmitri]

wklucas, my regular masseur advertises on Masseurfinder so I asked him about that, and got the info for you. As many in this forum probably already know, Heal And Relax on Masseurfinder are inside "code"....Heal for therapeutic, and Relax for sensual/erotic. The masseurs are required to wear shirts in the Heal section and keep the copy clean and not at all suggestive. In the Relax section, they can be shirtless and push the envelope just a little bit, in a wink/wink way. So my masseur has an ad in both sections to get double exposure, but is more than willing to do a nude massage with a HE, even though in his Heal ad he appears like a Sears catalog ad with his shirt on in all pics. But when you see his Relax ad his shirt is off and he is flexing and showing off his body. So the tip off is if your masseur is only in the Heal section, probably no luck with anything other than a massage, If he is in both sections, you are in for something in addition to a massage

[longtime lurker]

My guess is that the average rate for an hour Massage Evy with your shorts/towel on and zero eroticism is roughly sixty bucks or so, but they may force you to go every month as part of their "plan". That certainly isn't the average rate on Masseurfinder even in "heal". You may spend that amount going once every two months. On the plus side, you will maintain a much better "after glow" between sessions.

 

If you are a repeat client, you may possibly get a lower rate over time and a more extensive menu once enough trust is established. When going to a lot of strangers, you are also a stranger to them. Once you are no longer strangers... well, as they say, what happens behind closed doors remains behind closed doors.

 

You have to understand that some of these guys work on their bodies much as other guys spend time fixing up their 1960s Corvettes. Regardless of how attractive the chrome looks, they may not allow you to drive right away. I found one built like a Ferrari. In my first session, I asked permission as to what I could touch and not touch. There were boundaries, but I wasn't disappointed. It helps to use familiar lines like "Gee... I have never been naked with such a hunky Adonis set of wheels before. I hope I don't have a premature... accident." It was either my second or third visit that wound up on the Autobahn.

[actor61]

I once paid a masseuse a Grant more for a sensual massage and got a quick peek of a butt cheek. From that point forward, pay the low rate first to avoid being burned.

A masseuse is a woman. A masseur is a man. Sorry to be a grammar cop, but it's a pet peeve of mine.

[+ poolboy48220]

I'm with Dmitri on the heal/relax distinction. if a masseur advertises in both, then I take that as a definite sign that the 'relax' massage is going to be more erotic. I think I've seen higher rates for relax vs heal, but honestly I haven't seen a local guy that interested me advertising in both categories for a long time, so memory may be failing me.

[jacksfo]

In my limited experience with masssages through RentMasseur, select "Heal" if you want a "real" massage. If you want something more sensual, select "Relax." How sensual or erotic the body rub will be depends on the price. Generally, the higher the price, the more erotic your session can be.

[Racketjock]

Agree with what has been said here. I would add that reviews are a poor indicatory of truth and either point of your question. A masseur can edit copy of their reviews as well as the webhost themselves if they are too explicit. I have been "burned" more than a couple times (I'm an old dog and take a while to learn, evidently) with traveling masseurs who advertise under "relax" that might offer a tease, but not much more. I've been thankful to have this forum, its trusted contributors, and recommendations to lead me to ending with happiness.

[+ 7829V]

recommendations to lead me to ending with happiness.

Very well said

[hornytwells]

A masseuse is a woman. A masseur is a man. Sorry to be a grammar cop, but it's a pet peeve of mine.

and mine!

[Dmitri]

A really simple way to remember is:

 

1) Masseur is a man.....think of the word "sir"....as in mass-eur (sir) (male)

 

2) Obviously, that would mean that a masseuse is a woman (female)

 

An easy way to remember in the future, helps me remember every time

[Mydavid]

A really simple way to remember is:

 

1) Masseur is a man.....think of the word "sir"....as in mass-eur (sir) (male)

 

2) Obviously, that would mean that a masseuse is a woman (female)

 

An easy way to remember in the future, helps me remember every time

In French, "euse" is female form of "eur".

[+ honcho]

1) Masseur is a man.....think of the word "sir"....as in mass-eur (sir) (male)

 

I'm not a specialist in language, but I have the impression that there maybe some among the forum members and I'm thinking this may not be so off-the-mark as it first seems.

 

Could be the that french word "Monsieur" really is derived from some common ancestor with "My Lord"

(and "Madame" my lady?). So that there might have been an old french "Sieur" from which we get the english word "Sire"? or even "Sir" ?

[Mydavid]

I'm not a specialist in language, but I have the impression that there maybe some among the forum members and I'm thinking this may not be so off-the-mark as it first seems.

 

Could be the that french word "Monsieur" really is derived from some common ancestor with "My Lord"

(and "Madame" my lady?). So that there might have been an old french "Sieur" from which we get the english word "Sire"? or even "Sir" ?

 

Mon & Ma in French = My in English, Mon connects to a male noun, and Ma connects to a female one. (Mon pere = my father, Ma mere = my mother)

Sieur in French = Sir in English

Dame in French = Dame in English

[matt842]

A really simple way to remember is:

 

1) Masseur is a man.....think of the word "sir"....as in mass-eur (sir) (male)

 

2) Obviously, that would mean that a masseuse is a woman (female)

 

An easy way to remember in the future, helps me remember every time

Or there is the fact that two of the sites referenced in this forum are masseurfinder.com and rentmasseur.com, not masseusefinder.com or rentmasseuse.com.

 

To get back on topic, the thing to remember is that the expectations are yours, not the masseur's. Anything is possible, but I have learned that it is next to impossible to predict what will happen during a massage. My only expectation is that I will get a great massage. However, based on chemistry, signals, interaction, etc., I may be open to whatever happens. I have gone to masseurs who only had ads listed in "therapeutic" sections of sites and had the massage turn into the total full-service experience. On the other hand, I have had "erotic" massages that provided a HE and nothing more. In a couple of those cases, I even told the guy it wasn't necessary when he started to provide it, just because I wasn't into it. Even if you spell out exactly what you want and a masseur says he will provide it, there's no guarantee that he will.

[longtime lurker]

In other words, what so many posters are suggesting here is that the three Cs are important? Communication (masseurs are not all mind readers), chemistry a.k.a. connection (although this goes both ways since the dudes often look better online than in person) and consent (what two adults do behind closed doors is none of Homeland Security's or the Republican Party's business, even if the world of "spa" does tend to have a more limited menu than the world of "deli").

 

Not posting any videos here, but these two are easily searchable for the curious.

 

This is what I would consider Masseurfinder "heal" material. (Well... the kind with a happy ending, that is. Some "heal" may not be that kind of healing.) Search on Pornhub and Redtube the words "massage" and model "Levi Poulter". Unfortunately, the masseur is standing up most of the time and wearing sneakers, a huge turn-off for those of us with foot fetishes. Also Levi looks too zonked out to show any interest in what dangles over his open hands. Yet we do get the Mt. Vesuvius eruption at the end.

 

Here's Masseurfinder higher priced "relax" a.k.a. "creating an oasis in your life". Search YouTube for "Paco for hotel outcall massage in Barcelona". As he says, "the massage I offer you is a very intimate experience, but we can not call it sex even if you achieve climax. You can also choose not to achieve climax." Hey! As long as he climbs on top of you without destroying the massage table or the bed.