Gently into that good night - an Irish Wake

[Boston Guy]

Now that my shock at HB's passing has subsided ever so slightly, my Irish-Catholic roots have started to take hold. The Irish have perfected the art of holding a good wake, with friends and acquaintances, humor and joy at a life well-lived, and, yes, the sadness that naturally accompanies a death. Friends and acquaintances share memories of the deceased and how that person touched them, often in humorous ways that make everyone smile.

 

Death is a part of life, as inevitable as the setting of the sun. We do well to take the good parts of someone's life and learn from them and smile and be glad we were able to share life with that person, even if just a little or for just a short time, and to toss out the bad memories, the failings that make us human, the things that no longer matter.

 

So I hope people will help me start an Irish wake for HooBoy. Share your memories of him, share any personal tidbits, share how he impacted your life, share whatever you will. Someplace, somewhere, if it's at all possible, he'll be smiling.

 

My favorite memory of HB will always be the incredible misfortune that he seemed to have with computers and technology. I don't think I've ever known someone who could go through laptops faster than Hoo could, often in what seemed like the oddest misfortunes in the most exotic places. It must have been aggravating as hell for him, but he always made me smile in the way he described what was going on.

 

In the end, even though he might have been a technology klutz (as he claimed), he managed to use technology to affect more people's lives than most people I know. Well done, HB!

 

BG

 

Do not go gentle into that good night

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Dylan Thomas

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Do not go gentle into that good night

> ...

 

This poem was the first thing to pop into my head this AM after the initial wave of shock subsided.

[nate_sf]

I'd never met Hooboy but have been utterly fascinated by him... the dispatches from all the exotic locales, the pithy but thoughtful and insightful posts and responses on the message board, and of course this website. I'm sure if I'd met him I'd realize this was only scratching the surface.

 

I've learned so much from this website, not just about escorting but about being a gay man. I'm so grateful for this, and know the community here that Hooboy's vision brought together will live on as his legacy.

 

Happy trails, Hooboy!

 

Nate

[Guest Tristan]

Boston Guy, thanks for posting a beautiful and most appropriate poem. I'm sure the poem has even more meaning for those who knew Hooboy well.

 

I never met Hooboy, but very much appreciate the service he provided all of us. I hope the site will go on. Hooboy put too much into this site for it not to go on. It's part of his legacy. But somehow I think it will never be quite the same. We shall all miss him.

 

My condolences to all who knew, loved, and cared about Hooboy.

 

 

- Tristan

[Ryan]

An empty place now.

A chair sits vacant in the room.

We stand in space,

stilled silent by the suddenness

of our loss,

Waiting to look up and see his smile.

 

Thank you, Hooboy, for giving us a safe place.

For the humor, the intelligence, the erotic.

You made my life better.

 

Ryan

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

As I mentioned in another thread I met HooBoy twice: once in Montreal a couple of years ago and then last year in NY. Two short encounters of 20-30 minutes each, one at a club and the other at a party. My first personal introduction was that four hour phone call. We exchanged business-related emails occasionally either relating to my reviews or to the Escort of the Year constest way back when.

 

We had our ups and downs after I took him to task online once. I found out how very sensitive a person he really was. We managed to re-establish cordial relations about a year later at that first meeting in Montreal and maintained them on a low level through our second meeting. So it was with real suprise on my part that after my posting to a thread about poor cell phone service and Canada service that Hoo Boy offered to bring me an unlocked cell phone from Hong Kong. He was about to leave HK in the next day or so and with all the last minute things he had to attend to I know he went out of his way to find me the phone he wanted me to have. His only regret was that he liked the phone he got for me better than his own. :7 I offered to exchange but he would have none of that. That episode left a lasting impression on me.

[curious2000]

I second everything you wrote nate...I woke up and read the news and was stunned! I can't believe it...Hoo's website and presence here seemed so alive that it's hard to imagine him no longer here...it has become a daily routine to check the reviews and read the messege board on this fascinating slice of underground internet gay life. Somehow, Hooboy made the mysterious world of male escorts and clients more accessable for anyone to enjoy and it must have been an exhausting and time consuming job and it was all free for us to enjoy. As sad as I am to hear that he has left us, I am also so grateful for all the work he put into it and the delightful way he went about it. He has left us all an incredible resource of escort information, and hopefully others can continue it, but surely not with the witty and unique style that Hoo always managed to bring here and leave us with a smile on our face. Even when he as upset and mad at us about the frustrations of running this site, he always managed to handel it with sarcasam and humor without ever being really hateful and mean spirited. May he rest in peace.

[Boston Guy]

For the first time in a long time, I just happened to notice the message counts for the various forums here. I did a quick scan and realized that there are something like 175,000 messages posted here... what a legacy.

 

More importantly, HB made it okay for many of us to talk about escorts without feeling alone or ashamed. Whether it was a stroke of genius or just being the right person at the right time, he perceived a need and filled it.

 

For many of us, in the Spring of 1999, the Atkol forums were really just about the only place to go to discuss things like this. When they closed the "Sex with porn stars" forum, it was very frustrating to many of us. And then, suddenly, there was this new place called Hooboy and it was like manna from heaven.

 

If I recall correctly, HB went through the first forums software package in about a month and then introduced the next one. That one lasted longer, perhaps five or six months, until January or February of 2000. Then he switched to DCScripts and I remember feeling frustrated because I really like the old software. But the advantages of the new software became apparent pretty quickly and here it is going strong years later.

 

So many people have come through here over the years, some for just a short visit and some to settle down and some have left and come back again. We've had M4M'ers die before but who would have ever thought HB would go before pretty much anyone else?

 

So many memories, mostly good, but most of all this community of people I know but have not met, people I can picture who I have never seen, people I can hear without ever hearing the sound of their voices. There are people here I do not know but, somehow, still trust, people whose foibles I've come to look forward to. I've followed unknown people on their voyages around this planet we live on, followed people through anguish and breakdowns and celebrations, watched young men come and go, some happily, some not, and seen the growth in confidence in many older men. I've watched people I cannot see live through eyes provided by HooBoy.

 

Thanks, big guy.

 

BG

[+ deej]

>For the first time in a long time, I just happened to notice

>the message counts for the various forums here. I did a quick

>scan and realized that there are something like 175,000

>messages posted here... what a legacy.

 

Indeed. And that doesn't count the messages lost in various system crashes or the considerable "back chatter" going on in private messages or email.

 

>For many of us, in the Spring of 1999, the Atkol forums were

>really just about the only place to go to discuss things like

>this. When they closed the "Sex with porn stars" forum, it

>was very frustrating to many of us. And then, suddenly, there

>was this new place called Hooboy and it was like manna from

>heaven.

 

It's spooky to hear you dredge up my own memories. :-)

 

I marvel to this day that when other message boards (ATKOL isn't the only one) just closed down when the going got rough, Hooboy buckled down and made it work.

 

His efforts weren't ALWAYS successful, or even popular, but he adjusted as he went and made a way for it to work.

 

Whether you knew him or not, we've all lost a best friend.

[joel304]

>Now that my shock at HB's passing has subsided ever so

>slightly, my Irish-Catholic roots have started to take hold.

>The Irish have perfected the art of holding a good wake, with

>friends and acquaintances, humor and joy at a life well-lived,

>and, yes, the sadness that naturally accompanies a death.

>Friends and acquaintances share memories of the deceased and

>how that person touched them, often in humorous ways that make

>everyone smile.

>

>Death is a part of life, as inevitable as the setting of the

>sun. We do well to take the good parts of someone's life and

>learn from them and smile and be glad we were able to share

>life with that person, even if just a little or for just a

>short time, and to toss out the bad memories, the failings

>that make us human, the things that no longer matter.

>

>So I hope people will help me start an Irish wake for HooBoy.

>Share your memories of him, share any personal tidbits, share

>how he impacted your life, share whatever you will.

>Someplace, somewhere, if it's at all possible, he'll be

>smiling.

>

>My favorite memory of HB will always be the incredible

>misfortune that he seemed to have with computers and

>technology. I don't think I've ever known someone who could

>go through laptops faster than Hoo could, often in what seemed

>like the oddest misfortunes in the most exotic places. It

>must have been aggravating as hell for him, but he always made

>me smile in the way he described what was going on.

>

>In the end, even though he might have been a technology klutz

>(as he claimed), he managed to use technology to affect more

>people's lives than most people I know. Well done, HB!

>

>BG

>

>Do not go gentle into that good night

>

>Do not go gentle into that good night,

>Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

>Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

>

>Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

>Because their words had forked no lightning they

>Do not go gentle into that good night.

>

>Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

>Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

>Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

>

>Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

>And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

>Do not go gentle into that good night.

>

>Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

>Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

>Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

>

>And you, my father, there on the sad height,

>Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

>Do not go gentle into that good night.

>Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

>

>Dylan Thomas

 

 

 

I hope Daddy (and I'm sure he will) will alert us to the funeral arrangements and services. While he, or the designated representative, may not publicly post all details on this site, I hope that we will be notified of where flowers and donations can be sent.

 

Best wishes to Foxy and all of those close to Hoo.

[BuckyXTC]

As this sad news continues to sink in, I was thinking about all the ways my life has been better because of Hoo's efforts in creating this site.

 

It was back in 2001 that I first came to this website and eventually took the plunge in hiring my first escort. And then I hired the second, and that person became my best friend and soul mate even to this day. You can't put a value or price on such a wonderful thing, so I have to say Hooboy delivered to me a truly priceless treasure.

 

I do regret that other than having occasional email communications, we never met in person. It would have been a joy to express my gratitude in person.

 

This place has been a mixed bag at times, with laughter, joy, anger, venom, learning, and more. I've acquired friends and enemies here. All in all, it's like life itself. Quite a ride.

 

I hope there will be some way that interested folks like myself can contribute to some sort of formal tribute in memory of one who has given so much. Let's put our heads together and see what might be possible.

[Boston Guy]

>I do regret that other than having occasional email

>communications, we never met in person. It would have been a

>joy to express my gratitude in person.

 

Indeed. Once again, I am sadly reminded of how important it is to tell people what they mean to us while we have the chance. I doubt very much if HB truly understood the impact that he and the site he created has had on so many people.

 

>Quite a ride.

 

Indeed, again.

 

>I hope there will be some way that interested folks like

>myself can contribute to some sort of formal tribute in memory

>of one who has given so much. Let's put our heads together

>and see what might be possible.

 

Well, to start, I hope the funeral arrangements are made public here. If they are, can't you just imagine the flowers that will arrive? :-)

 

BG

[joel304]

I hope the arrangements are made public as well. I, however, doubt that they will be. Not aware of Hoo's family awareness of this site and/or situation, I can only wonder if this is a possibility. Local Hooville get togethers might be a nice idea?

 

I bet contributions to this site would be helpful under these circumstances as well.

[flguy]

The S.W. Florida HooVillians are meeting this Sunday night in Punta Gorda and will surely raise a glass and a thought in rememberance. Thanks you Hoo, you will be in our thoughts.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

A Man, A Plan

 

Hoo Boy is someone the large majority of us feel close to, so obviously, his passing affects all of us deeply. As others have pointed out, he made a great contribution to the lives of the people in this community, both the escorts in clear and obvious ways, but also not so clear and, as so many clients have pointed out, to those who discovered a part of themselves in this group.

 

I am not sure Hoo Boy himself, when you "heard" him describe it, was sure what he would bring forth nor what he intended. Certainly, this Message Center was not part of his original "design" and yet, for some of us, has become the focal point or a significant part of the entire site.

 

 

>This place has been a mixed bag at times, with laughter, joy,

>anger, venom, learning, and more. I've acquired friends and

>enemies here. All in all, it's like life itself. Quite a

>ride.

 

I think his legacy, and it certainly is one, is this board and a good and fitting tribute would be to continue it, which would be quite a pain for some, difficult and troublesome for others, but definitely worth the time and effort and energy of those who care about what came from Hoo Boy's desires and ambitions not so long ago.

[happyguy2]

Thanks BG,

 

Like you, I am also of Irish Catholic decent, so I really do appreciate this opportunity to share grief and sadness with all of you. When I first sent a message to Daddy, Foxy and the Moderators (in the Hooboy has left the building thread) and then to his family in the Remembrance thread, I was embarrased to use my penname: happyguy. It seemed almost obscene, or at the very least, insensitive to those who were close to him - and those of us who never realized how much we owed him.

 

It is so incredible that we have all come to know each other in different ways through this board. I am most happy (I can say that now that I have digested the news) that Hooboy passed away at a time when there was true peace, respect and kindness on this board. Many remember the times when such vitriolic posts appeared so much more often than they do now. He did see the way so many of us have been enjoying being connected.

 

Think of the recent thread on "other interests". Wasn't it wonderful for us to discover the genuine depth of so many of those who post here. There are philosophers, collectors, readers, lovers of music and food, lovers of people and life. Real people. Fine people. And I remember looking forward each day, to discovering more about people I had come to know as pennames. And Hooboy let that happen.

 

Think of the Stripper Club Forum. I have had the privilege of communicating privately with wonderful men, kind and thoughtful men, who post in that forum. With who else could any of us guys been able to speak so openly to others about our passtimes and interests. And each of those with whom I have corresponded have proven to be such truly fine human beings. .... And Hooboy let that happen.

 

I remember his posts about trips that he enjoyed so much. I remember the posts of some of the people who went with him. Rio and Thailand come to mind as examples. It always made me so happy to read about all of it. Somehow, even though I had nothing to do with it, his words - and the words of those who were with him - somehow made me feel like I was there, or at least associated with it all. And Hooboy let that happen.

 

 

I do believe there is a God. And I believe He truly loves each of us. And so, I believe in an afterlife. And, contrary to what others might say, I believe God understands each of us and is deeply rooted in our lives as we strive to be honest and good people, allthewhile being who and what WE are. Decent people who can make a difference in this world. These are the types of people we meet here. These, I believe, are the people Hoo will meet there! And how God must rejoice at what he made possible through people like Hooboy. We, even though we may not know each other now, will be more likely to meet in the future. Because I believe Hoo's passing will lead us to strive to meet more Hoovilians than ever before. How nice it has started with such energy. .... And Hooboy let that happen!

 

 

 

I feel such deep love and concern for Daddy, Foxy and all the moderators. And I have never even corresponded with them. I feel the same affection for all of you. Thank you to for letting me hear your thoughts. Like so many of you, I wish I could send all the flowers I can .... and if we are allowed to know, I will be among the rest of you. If not, the love coming from our collective spirits will surely support you, Daddy, Foxy and all and hopefully help you in this difficult time.

 

Now, I realize that we must respect everyone's privacy. Yet, since we all felt so close to him and those closest to him, I do hope that Daddy, Foxy et al will be able to share, discreetly as they may have to, some of the details which led to this dreadful time. We always want to know what led to a friends' death. And we want to say goodbye, however that may be possible.

 

At the same time, I look forward to the future and thank God that I had the good fortune to find this site and to meet each of you, even if it is only through our posts and e-mails.

 

hg

[+ honcho]

RE: A Man, A Plan

 

Franco put that eloquently and I agree wholeheartedly with the above, but I would add that the review section of the site is also part of Hoo's legacy, everything Franco said about the message center is also true of the review section.

 

I hesistated writing even this, lest it seem entirely selfish . .

[SmallTownJohn]

Hello,

 

I'm one of those guys who owes a HUGE debt to Hooboy. He was very generous to me when it came to this site.

 

I met him once; he was totally cool. I had the opportunity to hang with him again at a New Orleans Halloween celebration but my city schedule conflicted.

 

My partner & I loved his dead on sense of humor and his kindness. I especially appreciated the note that said, "You have eyes just like Paul Newman...beautiful!" Also, the "a lil detergent and warm water will take the twist out of your panties...it will remove the smell too"(note to an angry poster at the time) was really funny.

 

All my best to Hoo's friends, family and Foxy.

 

Rest well, my pal,

 

John

http://www.stj1.com

[Guy Fawkes]

Thank-you Boston.