Retirement

[caliguy]

I think part of the problem is you don't give us enough of a hint of where you are/how to contact you for hiring.

I think him staying anonymous is smart. Once the identity is out so will the conversations that will be linked to him forever. Not to mention if he thinks trolls are a problem now wait till they get some real meat. Pun intended:)

[marylander1940]

Hey Baron, Id rather not say what City I'm In(I know that doesnt help) as I'm also In the Marines so like to keep my profile Discrete.

 

 

I'm sure I could meet some of You Awesome guys on here, I really wish I had the balls to "Out" myself on here.

 

 

I DO live In a Big City, Even travel to other Bigger Cities when asked. Its been D E A D. Since Rentboy shut down. I mean Horrible...

 

There was some talk about the Dallas mafia on here, knowing your city might be helpful but you don't want to say it. May I suggest you move somewhere else and see what happens?

 

One more thing a local escort keeps telling me how unpredictable business is and that's he's always available walking with condoms and lub in his jacket ready for action. The fact that you have a main job keeps a steady income but it might be not allowing you fully escort. Up to you.

[jimboivyo]

There was some talk about the Dallas mafia on here.

 

ain't no such thing. and this info comes from an escort who lives there and is doing fine

[LADoug1]

Off topic, but interesting that song lyrics are different than those in the movie.

 

I guess they are the lyrics of the play and not the movie.

[Sigmund Freud]

Well here is my 2 Cents. I am personally glad there are escorts out there. I work 4 jobs and only get the opportunity to engage with an escort 2-3x a year. When I am looking for an escort. I basically use the same script for everybody. Here is my script: (Hello, my name is xxxxxx. I am 50 years old. I have seen your ad on rentmen and I think we would be a good match. I am looking for the boyfriend experience. (If they are a bodybuilder or really built then I also say erotic/exotic muscle worship to see how the escort replies). I do like to Kiss and have body contact. there is nothing more erotic than 2 men tangled up together with passion.) I don't want to script our meeting so I would like to let things happen naturally is a Safe and Sane manner. If this is something you are up for or willing to do then I would love to meet up with you and have a remarkable time....I am looking for xx hours or Overnight.....Thank you for you time and Patience..xxxxx) I wish that I could find an escort to be a regular but I have not been lucky enough to do that. I did have a regular escort about 5-6 years ago and met with him religiously 3x a year for the weekend and I always had a good time. When he retired, he actually helped me come up with a basic script that is engaging and hopefully asks enough information. I normally wait 1 day and if I haven't heard back, I move on. If the escort doesn't really elaborate or just provides a word or 2 then I pass. I am not looking for a book, but something like. Thank you XXXXX for your interest, by what you put in your message, it sounds like we would have a fantastic time and yes, I love to kiss and have body contact or you will be blown away my my muscle.... Let's set something up.... At least that is what I hope for. The main location I go to is NYC. THX.

[+ purplekow]

Well here is my 2 Cents. I am personally glad there are escorts out there. I work 4 jobs and only get the opportunity to engage with an escort 2-3x a year. When I am looking for an escort. I basically use the same script for everybody. Here is my script: (Hello, my name is xxxxxx. I am 50 years old. I have seen your ad on rentmen and I think we would be a good match. I am looking for the boyfriend experience. (If they are a bodybuilder or really built then I also say erotic/exotic muscle worship to see how the escort replies). I do like to Kiss and have body contact. there is nothing more erotic than 2 men tangled up together with passion.) I don't want to script our meeting so I would like to let things happen naturally is a Safe and Sane manner. If this is something you are up for or willing to do then I would love to meet up with you and have a remarkable time....I am looking for xx hours or Overnight.....Thank you for you time and Patience..xxxxx) I wish that I could find an escort to be a regular but I have not been lucky enough to do that. I did have a regular escort about 5-6 years ago and met with him religiously 3x a year for the weekend and I always had a good time. When he retired, he actually helped me come up with a basic script that is engaging and hopefully asks enough information. I normally wait 1 day and if I haven't heard back, I move on. If the escort doesn't really elaborate or just provides a word or 2 then I pass. I am not looking for a book, but something like. Thank you XXXXX for your interest, by what you put in your message, it sounds like we would have a fantastic time and yes, I love to kiss and have body contact or you will be blown away my my muscle.... Let's set something up.... At least that is what I hope for. The main location I go to is NYC. THX.

 

This is a great template for an initial contact. Well done. Better than what I usually do and I thought I was doing well.

[marylander1940]

ain't no such thing. and this info comes from an escort who lives there and is doing fine

 

Well, that's different everybody loves Benjamin!

[MiamiLooker]

Well here is my 2 Cents. I am personally glad there are escorts out there. I work 4 jobs and only get the opportunity to engage with an escort 2-3x a year. When I am looking for an escort. I basically use the same script for everybody. Here is my script: (Hello, my name is xxxxxx. I am 50 years old. I have seen your ad on rentmen and I think we would be a good match. I am looking for the boyfriend experience. (If they are a bodybuilder or really built then I also say erotic/exotic muscle worship to see how the escort replies). I do like to Kiss and have body contact. there is nothing more erotic than 2 men tangled up together with passion.) I don't want to script our meeting so I would like to let things happen naturally is a Safe and Sane manner. If this is something you are up for or willing to do then I would love to meet up with you and have a remarkable time....I am looking for xx hours or Overnight.....Thank you for you time and Patience..xxxxx) I wish that I could find an escort to be a regular but I have not been lucky enough to do that. I did have a regular escort about 5-6 years ago and met with him religiously 3x a year for the weekend and I always had a good time. When he retired, he actually helped me come up with a basic script that is engaging and hopefully asks enough information. I normally wait 1 day and if I haven't heard back, I move on. If the escort doesn't really elaborate or just provides a word or 2 then I pass. I am not looking for a book, but something like. Thank you XXXXX for your interest, by what you put in your message, it sounds like we would have a fantastic time and yes, I love to kiss and have body contact or you will be blown away my my muscle.... Let's set something up.... At least that is what I hope for. The main location I go to is NYC. THX.

 

Using your script, have most of your sessions been toe-curling or just meh? When you’ve hired an escort that’s met, or hopefully exceeded, your expectations, do you usually rehire that escort or look for something new?

[Sigmund Freud]

Using your script, have most of your sessions been toe-curling or just meh? When you’ve hired an escort that’s met, or hopefully exceeded, your expectations, do you usually rehire that escort or look for something new?

If the session is freaking mind blowing, then I try to hire again most definitely. It is kinda hard because I am only able to do this 2-3x a year and sometimes the escort is unavailable or out of NYC. But I will rehire if I can. If I find the right one, then they will be the first that I try to rehire. If they were just okay, I move one. Without naming names, in the last 3 years, I have hired about 10-12 escorts, using the above script and trying to weed out bad escorts. I do use the forums and daddysreviews quite heavily. I have found 2 that I would go back to and 1 that I have been able to successfully rehire (wasn't out of town or had another appointment). So my batting average for rehires is LOW. Sometimes the Escort will know what to say and then turns out to be a disappointment. I w ill be in NYC in March 2017 for 4 days. 1 Month prior I start to scope out potential escorts and start my review process. Each week something changes and I re-weed out. Yes. I am a complete Type A personality. But I am so down to earth. I think being an ER Nurse is the reason why. I absolutely LOVE to Kiss, converse (everybody has stories and they are fascinating) Sex is not always the outcome either. Sometimes Just feeling each other out and kissing is more erotic than Sex. I always do say that if the chemistry is right, then in a safe way, we go for it. But Kissing and Body Contact are absolutes that will not be compromised at all.

[+ WilliamM]

 

 

Off topic, but interesting that song lyrics are different than those in the movie.

 

I agree @LADoug1. Perhaps it's because purplekow's photo is not from the original cast album.

[marylander1940]

This post is endlessly validating, Jock. Thank you.

 

Some thoughts:

 

1.) In 2012 about 2/3 of SMSes I received included a name (i.e., "Are you available for a massage? Bruce"). Now less than 20% include one. They are increasingly erratic and distracted especially - yes - this past year. I'm lucky to get one answer for two asked (and most prospective clients are well-educated). The copy and paste message I send when I get a "Hi" or "U avail?" or after asking someone to call only to have it followed up with additional texted questions is:

 

"Thanks for reaching out.

 

If possible, please call me.

 

If you cannot call, out of a desire to best meet your needs, I'd appreciate knowing the following:

 

What is your name?

 

What service and time duration interests you (www.simplyadam.com/rates)?

 

What are two or three dates and time periods that work well for you?

 

Looking forward...

 

Adam"

 

Unfortunately, that message tends to scare tentative men off when all an escort, like any professional - like any human being - wants is to have their time and energy respected and to be efficient, making a connection actually happen, or knowing that it's not going to without unnecessary back and forth.

 

Living in the heart of Manhattan I could comment further on how increasingly isolated and disconnected people are becoming due to unconscious uses of technology. And how the isolationism of our times is leading people who know better in the flesh to disrespect another's very personhood when they're on the other end of a technological exchange.

 

2.) Fewer people are spending more than a minute reading ads to realize that I - and the services - I provide are multi-faceted and nuanced (I don't merely escort) and often assume the massage rate is the companionship rate after confirming they've looked at the rates page on my website. Sadly, we are simultaneously being further commoditized - and commodified - by the layout of advertising sites, who also exploit us in our time of duress.

 

3.) I moved to NYC in August of 2014. I maybe received five requests for bareback sex the first two years. I've received three in the past month. With a background in sexual health and HIV prevention, and having taught AIDS orphans in remote sub-Saharan Africa for a year, and just being a queer man who takes half a glimpse at recent history, I've been calling an antibiotic apocalypse for years - and new diseases we cannot foresee at the moment. It's alarming. All three requests were from highly educated, openly gay white men in their 50s.

 

There's more. It's a frustrating, disheartening time. But, Jock (and others), often the the answers are in the winds of change. The macrocosm beseeches a microcosmic shift. A stepping back to survey before going forward. A call to accept loss in order to greet great gain.

 

The whole world is feeling this right now. Heels get dug in the ground as consciousness assuredly - assuringly - raises.

 

Here we are. Where do we go, and how do we go at it?

 

(Synchronicity: Yesterday was Evaluate Your Life Day)

 

Brilliant!

 

Please don't remain silent, next I'm "pack attacked" by the know-it-all PrEP crowd calling me "thick and slow" because I use condoms and I require a 2 mins phone call to meet someone new.

[MiamiLooker]

If the session is freaking mind blowing, then I try to hire again most definitely. It is kinda hard because I am only able to do this 2-3x a year and sometimes the escort is unavailable or out of NYC. But I will rehire if I can. If I find the right one, then they will be the first that I try to rehire. If they were just okay, I move one. Without naming names, in the last 3 years, I have hired about 10-12 escorts, using the above script and trying to weed out bad escorts. I do use the forums and daddysreviews quite heavily. I have found 2 that I would go back to and 1 that I have been able to successfully rehire (wasn't out of town or had another appointment). So my batting average for rehires is LOW. Sometimes the Escort will know what to say and then turns out to be a disappointment. I w ill be in NYC in March 2017 for 4 days. 1 Month prior I start to scope out potential escorts and start my review process. Each week something changes and I re-weed out. Yes. I am a complete Type A personality. But I am so down to earth. I think being an ER Nurse is the reason why. I absolutely LOVE to Kiss, converse (everybody has stories and they are fascinating) Sex is not always the outcome either. Sometimes Just feeling each other out and kissing is more erotic than Sex. I always do say that if the chemistry is right, then in a safe way, we go for it. But Kissing and Body Contact are absolutes that will not be compromised at all.

So, out of 10-12 escorts you’ve hired in three years, you’d only go back to 2 of them? That sounds like a really low success rate, especially since your script seems to be fairly clear of your expectations. What do you think the problem is? Are escorts simply replying with what they think you want to hear? Are they agreeing to your request and then reneging during the actual session?

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I don't want this to come across as gloating, but my business is going well. Granted, I do much better when I'm traveling than when I'm home, but even at home, the guys I see regularly, in addition to guys passing through and building on my regulars keeps my head above water. I have no delusions of wealth, nor do I regard wealth as a means toward happiness.

 

I have a blessed life and even when business has been a little slow, I have NEVER thought about quitting, it's my heart and my passion. Could that change in time? Of course! For now though, I will control what I can and let go of the rest. I'm on the east coast right now, NYC followed by Atlanta and am quite busy.

 

I'm simply saying all this because I don't believe there is a universal trend that is hurting us all. I don't believe that apps are the demise of our business or that people are becoming inherently disrespectful of our time. I attract what I put out into the universe. Sending much love & light to all of those that are struggling!

[Sigmund Freud]

MiamiLooker. Not even sure how to answer. Now I am only guessing here. My expectations are the exactly the same from everybody. Too many appointments ???? Believe me, escorts are not machines, nor do I treat them like one. I am not a machine either. I love conversations. There were a couple that started good and then the escort got pretty quiet. Also, the escort replied pretty positive and it started that way but it kinda slowed. It could of been we just weren't compatible. It also could be that I need to change my script to force a more detailed response. I am okay with changing the script. I haven't changed it in a while and the times are changing so I might need to change as well. I know in March 2017 I am going to be posing questions to this forum to get me more prepared. I LOVE this forum and it really is the bible as far as I am concerned. If I find an escort that is absolutely mind blowing, I just might be rehiring the same week. My trips are normally Wednesday night thru Saturday Morning.

[MiamiLooker]

MiamiLooker. Not even sure how to answer. Now I am only guessing here. My expectations are the exactly the same from everybody. Too many appointments ???? Believe me, escorts are not machines, nor do I treat them like one. I am not a machine either. I love conversations. There were a couple that started good and then the escort got pretty quiet. Also, the escort replied pretty positive and it started that way but it kinda slowed. It could of been we just weren't compatible. It also could be that I need to change my script to force a more detailed response. I am okay with changing the script. I haven't changed it in a while and the times are changing so I might need to change as well. I know in March 2017 I am going to be posing questions to this forum to get me more prepared. I LOVE this forum and it really is the bible as far as I am concerned. If I find an escort that is absolutely mind blowing, I just might be rehiring the same week. My trips are normally Wednesday night thru Saturday Morning.

 

For those sessions that don’t work out, how do you feel when it’s over? Do you feel disappointed? Do you feel used? Do you chalk it up to just a mediocre experience and move on? Do you feel like you’ve gotten your money’s worth? No one hires hoping for at best a mediocre experience, so an 80% failure rate is just mind-boggling.

[Sigmund Freud]

For those sessions that don’t work out, how do you feel when it’s over? Do you feel disappointed? Do you feel used? Do you chalk it up to just a mediocre experience and move on? Do you feel like you’ve gotten your money’s worth? No one hires hoping for at best a mediocre experience, so an 80% failure rate is just mind-boggling.

If it is downright awful, then I write a negative review. If it is mediocre (I look at it 2 ways. Did the escort overbook or after about 30 minutes there was no chemistry but it wasn't awful but I know better the next time and also consider..the escort may be out of town or traveling in which case, I have to start at square one. Also..Am I that particular ??? When it comes to rentmen. I can weed out about 95% of the people right away. I don't hire straight at all, their ad has to be more than 2 sentences. It kinda has to be descriptive. If the Out call or Overnight is ASK. I pass. If the escort requires a deposit, I also pass. I realize that the escort does that to keep the cancellations low, but being an ER Nurse and manipulation is the name of the game for drug addicts, and pill seekers, I will not put a deposit down at all for anybody even if they have 100 positive reviews. I might be eliminating many good escorts with how strict that is but so be it. So, I can eliminate most of it right there. When it comes to Traveling Escorts, there are only a handful that I would even look at and that I could count on 1 hand. Believe me it could also be me. I save for March 2017 practically all year so I try my best to weed out and ask the tough questions. So 80% failure rate, you could say maybe about 30-40% failure rate because of circumstances. There are times that I could quite possibly miss one of the travelling escorts by a week or 2 and I am pissed but I don't have disposable income to fly escorts out and I don't travel all that often. The escort that I mentioned that retired. We planned for the weekend and we hit it off so well, then 1 time I would fly him out and then other time, he would just travel to me and extend his stay for other potential clients. But we were absolutely 100% compatible.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I think a fundamental question that every escort should ask themself is "If I didn't need the money, would I still do this work"? If you won the lottery tomorrow would you immediately cease doing this, would you slowly retire or continue your work? Or maybe only continue seeing your regular clients? I personally would continue my work, perhaps retiring early but I couldn't just stop seeing the wonderful men who have been there for me as I have been there for them.

[JerseyBabyDaddy]

SO...As many Escorts of Days Past come and Go...I've seriously been thinking about what's next for me.

 

I started roughly a few Years ago and noticed In just a few short Years, The Game is Changing...DRAMTICALLY. So much so to the point is not worth It to do this Full time. If It werent for my Regulars I'd had not taken any of this seriously. They are the reason that keep me going. We're now living In an App/Text culture were people are becoming Void of any Decency or Etiquette. They cant even give You the Courtesy of speaking In Full sentences. I've had more Cancelations this year then all of my Years doing this combined. Last minute cancelations. Not only that I've found myself ciphering through the Trolls. Some escorts even posing as Clients just to....Troll.

 

 

I could go on and on about my Experiences this Year(Most are in previous Posts of mine). And I've read some Escorts on here also going through the same thing. I just dont see this as a Profitable Business 5....10 Years from now for MOST of us. My Pictures are Accurate. I have ALL Positive Reviews. And still...I get trolled. Dont get me wrong I'm not a quitter...I say another Year of 2 of doing this...Just It's not Fun anymore. Again Its my Amazing Regualrs who have made this worthwhile.

 

 

I'm really sorry to hear about. This is why I like to spend some time to get to know the escort. I want them to know that I think of them as human beings with interests, passions and fascinating lives. I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences. I really hope this phase ends soon. I wish if we could meet, though like you said, you're trying to keep your identity a secret. I really hope this does end up being a phase.

[Epigonos]

After reading this thread I have come to the realization that I “must” have very low expectations when I meet a new escort. I have been hiring escorts now for over fourteen years and have experienced very few problems.

 

I have NEVER written a negative review because I have NEVER an awful experience with an escort. I have had numerous mediocre experiences but I have always chalked that up to any number of minor causes. 1.) Perhaps I happened to be a bit tired that day, 2.) Perhaps the escort happened to be a bit tired that day, 3.) Maybe the chemistry wasn’t there because of my reaction to the escort, 4.) Maybe the chemistry wasn’t there because of the escorts reaction to me, this list could be almost endless but when all is said and done shit does happen and it is often nobody’s fault. Even the best of escorts are NOT infallible machines and I am more than willing to cut them some slack if the guy is pleasant, clean and attempt to provide a satisfactory service. I do not write reviews of mediocre experiences because there has always been some part of the overall experience that was fun and/or satisfying

 

Now you might ask how I select the new escorts I hire. Truthfully I use both of my heads. After seeing an escort’s photographs my small head lets me know, almost immediately whether or not I find him a turn on. After reading the text of an escort’s ad and his reviews on this site my big head tell whether or not I think we will be a fit. The one caveat that I have always tried to follow is that I don’t tend to hire traveling escorts. If I find a traveling escort appealing I will usually travel to his home base. Over the years I have found that escorts at their home base are less likely to be over booked and are generally more rested and relaxed.

 

Additionally there are also a couple of other thing that I have learned over the years. I definitely believe that hiring escorts is NOT a science and it cannot be made into one. There will always be hits and misses and I have simply learned to roll with the bunches. I also believe that hiring and spending time with escorts should be fun and therefore if I do a little homework and then relax and don’t over think the whole process I will have a much better experience.

[jimboivyo]

Well, that's different everybody loves Benjamin!

 

not everyone but clearly enough to keep the young man busy

[nebula]

I think a fundamental question that every escort should ask themself is "If I didn't need the money, would I still do this work"? If you won the lottery tomorrow would you immediately cease doing this, would you slowly retire or continue your work? Or maybe only continue seeing your regular clients? I personally would continue my work, perhaps retiring early but I couldn't just stop seeing the wonderful men who have been there for me as I have been there for them.

nothing but respect for you, sir! this is the exact difference between a successful and happy escort like mr.lance and all the bitchy whiny miserable escorts who gets no business.

[mike carey]

@Lance_Navarro and others who have commented, if you won the lottery would you cease to be an escort? I don't think tying the question to escorting delivers the answer. Imagine any other job, if you won the lottery would you give up your job? Whether you love your job or not, that is a difficult question. Sometimes a sudden influx of money changes your view of your job, sometimes it doesn't.

[+ bashful]

Sometimes a sudden influx of money changes your view of your job, sometimes it doesn't.

 

Agreed. Sometimes it's just a matter of deciding it's time to make a change in your life.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Well I've been following this thread since it started without quite knowing what to say, but it certainly made me think a lot. In some ways I am functionally retired as an escort, and have been for years. But that's not quite true because after 16 years I think I still probably make more money doing it and have more fun doing it than the majority of escorts, including some I know. So nothing about this is one dimensional or facile to me.

 

For 16 years I keep thinking about what I would write about if I wrote a book about escorting, and for 16 years it keeps changing.

 

There is a part of the book that, if written honestly,would simply admit that the whole fucking thing is about me, me, me, and only me. It is an ego trip. It is a way of being a part of a club that is admired. I wanted to be friends with other escorts. I wanted to have sex with other escorts. I wanted to get paid to have sex. I wanted to prove something to myself about myself. I did. In retrospect, it doesn't seem quite the same as saying, "I fought for Obamacare and won" or "I kept the US safe from ISIS" or "I was the first man on the moon." But it is something, even if it is something shallow and vain. There are many things I have done in my life that I am prouder of than being an escort, which is partly why I think I could survive the downsides of being an escort without having to worry about drugs, addictions, or even serious self doubts. But at the very least, it has been a lot of fun. So part of my reaction to this is that you don't really have to question what is and is not in your self interest. You just have to pay attention to your feelings. If you are into it, you are into it. And if it isn't fun any more, there just isn't really any question about it. To put it differently, there is a part of this that is just selfish, and if you have minimal self awareness you should know if it just isn't doing it for you anymore.

 

There is a part of the book that, if written honestly, would be about the other person, the client, and the satisfaction they get in discovering some part of themself or developing a different kind of relationship with another human being. Some of the satisfaction is sexual, some isn't. This part - the part about the other person - is different for every person. In the least fun cases it involves an escort who is a "professional" and is simply going along for the ride, and in the best cases it involves me being totally emotionally into it and feeling, "Holy fuck. This is awesome. I get paid to do this?" Part of the professionalism of this is that some part of the "job" is disguising your feelings, just like any dentist having a bad day isn't really going to say he isn't really into drilling your teeth, or any personal trainer that isn't having a good day might be thinking, "I'd actually rather be home fucking my wife." That's on a bad day. On a good day, you get paid to fuck and cum and go out to dinner and bullshit and travel and explore the world with people you like and admire in and out of bed, and it really is like "Holy fuck. This is great." And some part of the "this is great" is knowing that you were able to be selfless enough to see some other person for who they are, or who they want to be, and help them connect to their vision of themself, whether they knew that was what they actually wanted or not. So there is a sort of selflessness to it, even though there is ego gratification in knowing that you actually delivered the goods, whether "the goods" means an orgasm or an intimate connection.

 

The two parts of what I described above - the selfishness and the selflessness - are connected in a way I am not sure I can put in words. The closest I can come is this: whatever I did as an escort, it was definitely my unique process, and there was nothing mechanical about it. I think actors feel the same way: whatever it is they do, many see it as very personal, and not something they can teach or give a 10 step manual to cover. It involved my own self discovery, so I don't think I could have done it if it was all about just bullshitting my way through something that I disliked, and that meant nothing to me. The selfishness had to be part of it to make it work. At the same time, when it really worked least well for me - and I'm sure for my clients - is when I lost the ability to be selfless. I was in a minor to moderate rut 5 years ago, based on feelings I shared with a large part of the planet due to the fucked up economy during The Great Recession. I felt like I had to back off and I did back off because for whatever reason, I just wasn't able to feel particularly joyful about much of anything. That disqualified me from being able to be selfless or at least pretend to be selfless when I needed to be.

 

The most interesting part of the book to me is the part that, if written honestly, would admit that the people I've met as an escort are, for the most part, my most intimate friends. Some of these are escorts, some are former clients, and some are current clients. One of my favorite words is "self interest," meaning the place where selfishness and selflessness meet. In one training "self interest" was described to me this way: "I am my brother's keeper." The idea is that in the best human relationships, of any type, there is some place where the needs of both people are satisfied in each other. So as much as it sounds like bullshit to use this to describe escorting, it is actually reality after 16 years for me. The most down to earth way I can describe it is that for most of my current or past clients, who were or are teachers or government employees or corporate executives or professionals, they experienced some version of the same thing. The people they became closest to (outside family) were often the people they worked with. There is probably something gendered and generational about this: maybe non-working older women tended to develop more intimate relationships in church groups or sewing circles. But men tend to do it through work. And a "job" that involves taking off your clothes and kissing and cumming all over each other lends itself to both physical and emotional intimacy more than most 'jobs" do. So it doesn't surprise me that after spending 16 years doing this, the people I am closest to in many cases are the people I did "this" with.

 

This is the part that I am now quite sure will survive retirement or I could say voids the whole idea of "retirement," because I'll never be completely retired as an escort. As long as I continue to know the people I know, and be part of the community I am part of, I'll be an escort, at least in some way. Part of what is actually very nice about this is that as I've become more financially secure, the money is actually less important, and what has become more important is the emotional satisfaction I get out of being close to particular people, or being part of a particular community. Oliver's party in Palm Springs has become one symbol of that for me, but there are many others. I can't ever see myself wanting to "retire" from that. It's too much a part of who I am, and what my relationships are.

 

There's been a lot of death and aging in my family this year - a dead brother, a mother deep in dementia, a Dad who is 95 and likely on his last legs. It is not a particularly good time for me to feel young, virile, and fertile. If anything, it is a good time for me to embrace and feel close to those who I love who are dead or dying. So there is also some part of me that misses the good old days when I ran around the world with escort buddies or rich clients and spent my weeks making thousands of dollars having sex, after which I spent many nights in sex clubs or with fuck buddies, having a really fucking good time. It's good to be young, or at least to be able to be able to pretend to be young. I miss that.

 

But I don't miss it all that much. There is some other part of my own experience as an escort where I feel grateful to my clients, past and present, because they helped me grow into the kind of person who could spend a lot of the past year being able to be calm just being emotionally present, a lot, with a brother who kept getting sicker and sicker and looking worse and worse. That's a backhanded compliment, to say the least, because it's not like my clients generally looked like they were dead or dying. But 16 years of escorting was a good way to get beyond issues like body image and body weight and age and hair loss and just be able to be comfortable and intimate with the person you were with. This also sounds like bullshit, but it's not. As much as escorting is about youth and beauty and physical appearance, it's been a great way to figure out in the deepest possible way that there are more important things in life than youth or beauty or physical appearance.

 

I don't plan to be showing up on booty calls when I look like my Dad, should I live so long, and thanks to the generosity of my clients and my investment habits, I won't have a financial need to. So at some point I will be officially, completely retired. But even then I don't think I'll completely be retired. Whatever this started as, for a long time it has been as much a lifestyle as a job. For that, I am very grateful.

[abc645351]

Perhaps a poster of the bovine persuasion.

LOL