Coming Down

[Reluctant Daddy]

This is very sweet and I would like to reframe something.

 

You were inspired by the first guy you hired to lose weight. YOU put it together that it was something you wanted. YOU bought the camera and started taking classes in photography, presumably because you've had an interest in photography. YOU found a muse inside this man. YOU have found new feelings, new purpose, a sense of being invigorated. YOU did this. Not him. That's no to say he didn't have his role, it's just to say that you had all of this inside of you already. You can enjoy him and draw inspiration from him, and I hope you do. You also get to keep those good feelings between sessions because they come from YOU, not him!

 

Thank you Eric! This was incredibly sweet of you!

[BasketBaller]

I first hired after several years of being a widower with young children. I was lonely and horny and had never had sex with a man but was more and more comfortable with the knowledge that that was what I wanted. I approached it thinking only of physical gratification. And maybe the first time or two, the sexual pleasure obscured other aspects, but I've long realized I get much more out of it than that. The chance to be open about my desires with someone, and the realization that I'd been afraid of something that turned out to be non-judgmental and accepting became important to me. Plus, having decided for good or ill not to look for a relationship until my kids were older, this hobby allowed me to fulfill some grown-up needs and wants without complications. I don't hire often, and I've never gotten emotionally involved with an escort, but I have considered a couple of them friends who I'd keep in touch with no matter what. �

[+ glennnn]

The chance to be open about my desires with someone, and the realization that I'd been afraid of something that turned out to be non-judgmental and accepting became important to me. Plus, ....this hobby allowed me to fulfill some grown-up needs and wants without complications. I don't hire often, and I've never gotten emotionally involved with an escort, but I have considered a couple of them friends who I'd keep in touch with no matter what. �

 

Couldn't say it better, BB! Are you out to anyone in your private life? I would never presume to advise you, but I am now out to three of the four people most central to my life and, although it was scary, it is such a relief. They are all supportive and they still love and respect me. I still don't discuss my gay life (gay novels, hot men I see, escorts, Daddy's Forum, PS weekend, etc.) with them. But I answer any questions they ask, fully and honestly. If you, or anyone, want more detail of this part of my journey, ask, or PM me. Good luck and congratulations, my brother.

[BasketBaller]

Couldn't say it better, BB! Are you out to anyone in your private life? I would never presume to advise you, but I am now out to three of the four people most central to my life and, although it was scary, it is such a relief. They are all supportive and they still love and respect me. I still don't discuss my gay life (gay novels, hot men I see, escorts, Daddy's Forum, PS weekend, etc.) with them. But I answer any questions they ask, fully and honestly. If you, or anyone, want more detail of this part of my journey, ask, or PM me. Good luck and congratulations, my brother.

 

Thank you! I'm not out to anyone close to me, but there are several guys I met up with via craigslist in similar situations and we've kept in touch and talk occasionally to compare notes. On the other hand, I haven't been deceptive, pretending to pursue women, etc., and if anyone asked me I'd be honest. My thought is to wait until my twins start college next year and then, if it feels right, come out to my family at least. My folks, my brothers, my sons, and my in-laws are all pretty tolerant and open-minded, so I'm optimistic about how it would go. I think it will come as a surprise, although as I've mentioned before, my sons may suspect already.

[+ glennnn]

My last one is my son. I'm thinking hard and long about how, when and why to tell him. It will probably be soon, since I don't want him to find out on his own and feel I didn't love and trust him enough to share this rather essential part of me with him.

[+ purplekow]

Thank you! I'm not out to anyone close to me, but there are several guys I met up with via craigslist in similar situations and we've kept in touch and talk occasionally to compare notes. On the other hand, I haven't been deceptive, pretending to pursue women, etc., and if anyone asked me I'd be honest. My thought is to wait until my twins start college next year and then, if it feels right, come out to my family at least. My folks, my brothers, my sons, and my in-laws are all pretty tolerant and open-minded, so I'm optimistic about how it would go. I think it will come as a surprise, although as I've mentioned before, my sons may suspect already.

 

After my wife died, I began to explore sexual options with men. I found that after my wife's death, my attraction to women diminished greatly and that led to a 2 year period of chastity. After several attempts to rekindle sexual activities with women, I had my first real sexual contact with men. Since then, I have been seeing men for the most part, though there is still an attraction to women. No one has asked about my sexual activity and I have not offered information in that regard. In some way, I feel that people may judge the intensity of the feelings that I had for my wife when I tell them I now have sex with men. As I said, no one has asked, but if asked, I would say exactly what I have said here. In discussing your sexual desires with your family, I think it is important to emphasize your love and respect for your wife and if it is the case that you had not really explored your attraction to men during your marriage, you should make that clear.

Show respect for the love of your past, while you explain your lusts of the present..

[BasketBaller]

In discussing your sexual desires with your family, I think it is important to emphasize your love and respect for your wife and if it is the case that you had not really explored your attraction to men during your marriage, you should make that clear.

Show respect for the love of your past, while you explain your lusts of the present..

 

Wise words. Yes, while I came to acknowledge my attraction to men during my marriage, I remained faithful. I thought of myself as bisexual, but honoring my vows to a woman I truly did love. After her death it was clearer and clearer to me that I was more interested in men than women, and eventually acted on it, which pretty much confirmed it for me immediately. If I do decide to open up to those who also loved her, I will do my best to make clear that our marriage was good, and real, and that nothing about my life now is a rejection of that. �

[+ purplekow]

Wise words. Yes, while I came to acknowledge my attraction to men during my marriage, I remained faithful. I thought of myself as bisexual, but honoring my vows to a woman I truly did love. After her death it was clearer and clearer to me that I was more interested in men than women, and eventually acted on it, which pretty much confirmed it for me immediately. If I do decide to open up to those who also loved her, I will do my best to make clear that our marriage was good, and real, and that nothing about my life now is a rejection of that. �

It is a testament to the genuineness of your love that you would do so. I wish you all the best when you take this step. It is likely to be harder to do than you imagine and I bet you imagine it is going to be really difficult. You will have the support of many of the posters here when you take that step.

[+ glennnn]

All of the above! There have been some rocky moments since I came out. Would I change my decision? NO! Being honest while behaving honorably and lovingly can be tough. I cannot see how it can be wrong.