Potential Mating Partner

[+ Truereview]

@Juan Vancouver...Yes, I think our market is unique in that there are a huge number of clients here, and as long as you are just looking to make a comfortable income, you can make a living escorting on a schedule.

 

@Truereview ...Sorry to grate on your nerves...but by setting a consistent boundary...people/client's respect your time...I good professional has to command respect from his clients.

 

[uSER=6282]@juan[/uSER] again....Not all doctors are on call, and not all lawyers are litigators and have to pull allnighters, but yes on call doctors earn more, and all nighter lawyers may be richer...that is the trade off...more money for less time with your partner. Most escorts choose money (new client) over a partner...

 

I remember years ago I was complaining to my wife at the time that I was struggling going into the office on a saturday to do some work, and that a colleague (a very successful business man) seemed to putting in 6 1/2 days a week and was always working a full day on Saturday and a 1/ 2 day on Sunday. I was distraught because I thought I could not muster the internal fortitude to work that hard in my chosen profession. My wife looked at me and said in all seriousness..."You don't want to work Saturdays and Sunday my dear, because you would rather go fishing or play baseball with your kids". At first that hurt, but then I accepted it as a badge of honor...my kids (or relationship with my kids) was worth more to me than making money and career success. Anyway, i guess I'm lucky to have a working boy who would rather be with me than working with a new or existing client.

Ok, now I reacting to your word choices: working boy, command, train...I respect the relationship if those are the dynamics involved (dominance and submission), but if the word choice is subconscious, dude, that requires some introspection. Thanks for sharing though, fascinating stuff.

[RockyHardon]

@Truereview ...Sorry...I guess you advertise on RentMen instead of RentBoy...lol Just a joke.

 

"command, train" I will think about that...maybe I'm a natural domme and don't even know it

 

....but the point I was making is that if someone knows I have set hours, then they will learn i'm only available during those hours and not expect me to be available at other times....

[Juan Vancouver]

@Juan VancouverMost escorts choose money (new client) over a partner...

 

If your partner has free weekdays and is hanging around the house but you go to your 9 to 5 does that mean you are choosing money over your partner? Or does that mean you are just working?

 

If your partner had weekdays off, would you consider quitting your job so you can spend time with him? Or does he have to do the quitting himself because he is just a "working boy"?

 

@Truereview "command, train" I will think about that...maybe I'm a natural domme and don't even know it

 

....but the point I was making is that if someone knows I have set hours, then they will learn i'm only available during those hours and not expect me to be available at other times....

 

It could be simpler than that. You could just feel that your job is more valid than his, your choices are more valid than his and therefore, as an obvious result of that, he has to adapt to your schedule, not the other way around.

 

 

I love my partner. I choose him. He is an amazing co-conspirator and I am very lucky to share my life with him. And even then, just like you said, people around me learn really soon that I am only available to hang out when I am available. My partner accepts this -even if at times we wish we could spend that weekend together- because we are in a partnership of equals, where the choices of both carry the same weight and both deserve the same degree of respect.

 

He accepts I am available only at certain times, and I would NEVER expect or demand he changes his working hours to match mine. To me, that would be disrespectful. I am with him, I love him. I take ALL of him.

 

It is heartwarming though, to read that your way of doing things works for you and your working boy.

 

There are many different ways of living.

[RockyHardon]

@Juan Vancouver I'm glad you have a great situation.

I was just making a suggestion to the poster that if he wants a relationship, that he should consider letting his partner know that the time they have together is their time and will not the interrupted by "off hours" clients. I'm lucky...I know my guy is mine since he has never said "I have a $500 client, so I need to cancel our date night watching Game of Thrones". Yes $50o is $500, but when a person (No matter what their profession, doctor, lawyer, escort, waiter), shows you by their actions that your time is most important, it gives you confidence in your relationship...especially if you are just starting a new relationship with someone who is an escort, and doesn't necessarily understand the profession. It was just my thoughts and experience, and i don't mean to demean anyone else's experience or relationship, and being a client for many years, and a part-time working boy myself, I would hardly be the person to put someone down for doing it another way.

 

Peace out.

[Juan Vancouver]

Rocky,

 

My question is, do you turn down work to hang out with your partner?

 

And if you don't, why do you expect him to do it? And if you don't, why is that not a reflection on your lack of commitment by choosing money instead of the relationship?

[LADoug1]

If your partner has free weekdays and is hanging around the house but you go to your 9 to 5 does that mean you are choosing money over your partner? Or does that mean you are just working?

 

If your partner had weekdays off, would you consider quitting your job so you can spend time with him? Or does he have to do the quitting himself because he is just a "working boy"?

 

 

 

It could be simpler than that. You could just feel that your job is more valid than his, your choices are more valid than his and therefore, as an obvious result of that, he has to adapt to your schedule, not the other way around.

 

 

I love my partner. I choose him. He is an amazing co-conspirator and I am very lucky to share my life with him. And even then, just like you said, people around me learn really soon that I am only available to hang out when I am available. My partner accepts this -even if at times we wish we could spend that weekend together- because we are in a partnership of equals, where the choices of both carry the same weight and both deserve the same degree of respect.

 

He accepts I am available only at certain times, and I would NEVER expect or demand he changes his working hours to match mine. To me, that would be disrespectful. I am with him, I love him. I take ALL of him.

 

It is heartwarming though, to read that your way of doing things works for you and your working boy.

 

There are many different ways of living.

Just curious Juan-How much time do you get to spend with your partner considering your unpredictable schedules?

[RockyHardon]

Rocky,

 

My question is, do you turn down work to hang out with your partner?

 

And if you don't, why do you expect him to do it? And if you don't, why is that not a reflection on your lack of commitment by choosing money instead of the relationship?

 

Your responses sound like you can't accept the obvious. Every professional has to make that choice. Spend more time at the office, or spend time with those I love...parents, partner/wife, and/or kids. Everybody knew about the rich kid in the neighborhood who had every material thing (because his dad works so hard), but gets to spend no time with his dad. The kid got the toys, but no relationship with his dad. Some would say that kid lost out, others would say his dad did his job and provided an abundance of material things. I personnally would rather go fishing with my dad in the local pond, and have him drive a chevy, than be sent to an elite flyfishing camp in Montana by myself without my dad, while he is drving to work in his new Mercedes. Similarly, many wives bemoan the doctor or lawyer husbands because their "Job is their mistress". It is a trade off.

 

And yes, I often elect not to go into the office to spend time with my partner, just like I often elect not to work extra hours to be with my kids.

 

It sounds like your position is that sacrificing even one client or one date is too much to ask for a relationship, and any escort who does is wrong or stupid. The truth is very simple...a relationship involves some sacrifice from both partners. But is sounds like you have a partner who when the phone rings, you can always jump out of bed and go suck some dick for a benjamin, and then return home. Nothing wrong with that...

 

The tone of your responses assumes I'm putting the "professional escort" job down or belittling it. The truth is I know that a really "Professional Escort" with a Capital P and Capital E, can make as much or more money than many civil engineers, government lawyers, accountants, and middle managers. So they have to make the same kind of trade-offs as other professionals.

 

My final point is this: Not all doctors and nurses are "on call". A doctor or nurse can work a regular 9-5. My experience is that a "Professional Escort" , if they really want to, can elect to have relatively set hours, and deciding to have set hours may make it easier to build a non-financial romantic relationship with another human being. I know you are going to take umbrage with something I said, but like I said before...I am glad you are happy with your situation.

[mike carey]

@RockyHardon and @Juan Vancouver, I think that you are arguing at cross purposes. Both of you seem to have worked out great personal relationships with at least one of you in each partnership being an escort. Please, don't fight to justify your personal way of making that relationship work. Having defined hours when escorting can happen is one way of managing things, agreeing that the escorting partner can take and accept a call for an appointment as long as that doesn't disrupt interactions within the relationship is another. Talking about doctors or lawyers on call (or firemen or paramedics) is not helpful, they know they are on call. Neither of you needs to justify how you manage your relationship, or when you will accept calls from clients, both of you are in control of the relationship you have. If anything, I'm the one who is not in control.

[Juan Vancouver]

Just curious Juan-How much time do you get to spend with your partner considering your unpredictable schedules?

 

We are very lucky. We spend a lot of time together, travel a lot together, and have enough alone time to miss one another.

 

It sounds like your position is that sacrificing even one client or one date is too much to ask for a relationship, and any escort who does is wrong or stupid.

 

I am glad you explained what you understood I said because that could not be any more wrong. What I believe would be incredibly unhealthy for me is if any partner of mine asked me to alter my life to suit his personal choices because I have the lesser job.

 

Mutual negotiation is the spice of life and the fuel of love. One sided conditions by one partner who sees himself to have higher status is what co-dependency is made of.

 

But is sounds like you have a partner who when the phone rings, you can always jump out of bed and go suck some dick for a benjamin, and then return home. Nothing wrong with that...

 

Just because you haphazardly add in the end a "nothing wrong with that" it doesn't mean we cannot read the contempt in your sentence.

 

This sentence enough makes me see I should just abandon this conversation because we are discussing based on false premises.

 

The tone of your responses assumes I'm putting the "professional escort" job down or belittling it.

 

No, the tone of the last sentence I quoted lets me see that. Also you were the one who described his partner as "I guess I am lucky to have my own working boy...". Not a human being, not an equal, not a partner; but your own working boy. I guess you are lucky. If this works for you both, then may this relationship last forever!

 

My final point is this: Not all doctors and nurses are "on call". A doctor or nurse can work a regular 9-5. My experience is that a "Professional Escort" , if they really want to, can elect to have relatively set hours, and deciding to have set hours may make it easier to build a non-financial romantic relationship with another human being.

 

What you wrote boils down to: "My experience is that other people can and have to adapt and make sacrifices to be able to be with me".

 

If other people do, power to you! You must be quite a catch! May you all be happy.

 

Just please don't give advise to others based on this escort submission paradigm. It is actually entirely possible to have a human interaction with another human being without having any tags. I am my partners partner, not his working boy, not his latin stud, not his immigrant, not his unemployed artist. I am his partner. He is mine. I don't have to change absolutely anything that I don't want to change in order to have the chance of being with him, and the same applies to him.

 

In my personal experience, this works like a charm.

 

To each, his own.

[mike carey]

Well put, Juan.

[Juan Vancouver]

@RockyHardon and @Juan Vancouver,Neither of you needs to justify how you manage your relationship, or when you will accept calls from clients, both of you are in control of the relationship you have. .

 

As i wrote already many times I am happy for him and his relationship. It works for him, power to both of them.

 

What I have a big issue with is him coming to advise another escort to adopt this subservient role in the relationship because he is an escort. What I can't stomach is the assumption that it is of course the escort the one who has to change his ways -if he wants to have a non-financial relationship with another human being-.

 

With this, I can't agree. This kind of advise is just poison for anyone wanting to start a relationship of any kind.

 

My battered wife aunt Juana has made her abusive marriage work for many years. I respect my dear aunt and she really wants to be in that relationship black eyes and all. Power to her.

 

If dear aunt Juanita comes here, however, to admonish how all hookers have to take it sitting down and accept the beatings because that has worked for her, then I would have to -on principle- make sure that I make as clear a point for the opposite argument.

 

I sincerely respect people's personal choices. I vehemently oppose people spreading unhealthy advise to others just because this has worked for them.

 

If you think that what I am doing is justifying myself, then I must not be writing very clearly.

[RockyHardon]

"Contempt"? My partner is an escort...He sucks dick for money. I have sucked dick for money. Don't be so sensitive. We are all whores and whore-mongers here. Damn.

 

And yes...equate me to a boyfriend batterer because he agrees not to accept calls when we are together.

[jjkrkwood]

@Juan Vancouver I'm glad you have a great situation.

I was just making a suggestion to the poster that if he wants a relationship, that he should consider letting his partner know that the time they have together is their time and will not the interrupted by "off hours" clients. I'm lucky...I know my guy is mine since he has never said "I have a $500 client, so I need to cancel our date night watching Game of Thrones". Yes $50o is $500, but when a person (No matter what their profession, doctor, lawyer, escort, waiter), shows you by their actions that your time is most important, it gives you confidence in your relationship...especially if you are just starting a new relationship with someone who is an escort, and doesn't necessarily understand the profession. It was just my thoughts and experience, and i don't mean to demean anyone else's experience or relationship, and being a client for many years, and a part-time working boy myself, I would hardly be the person to put someone down for doing it another way.

 

Peace out.

 

NEVER be that confident that it might blind you to the Obvious.......

[RockyHardon]

NEVER be that confident that it might blind you to the Obvious.......

 

Good one...I take my whipping...

[+ Truereview]

What tangled thread we weave...I blame all this on @hunterlee ! I'm gonna have to spank him and his new beau! worse yet, I may call them both during off hours...(cue evil laugh... wahahahahahahahaha )

http://www.weirdhut.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/cat-asleep-after-playing-with-thread.jpg

[Kippy]

What tangled thread we weave...I blame all this on @hunterlee ! I'm gonna have to spank him and his new beau! worse yet, I may call them both during off hours...(cue evil laugh... wahahahahahahahaha )

http://www.weirdhut.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/cat-asleep-after-playing-with-thread.jpg[/

 

What's this pussy doin' on this thread?

[+ Truereview]

@Kippy , Patiently waiting to pounce...purrrr.

[hunterlee]

What tangled thread we weave...I blame all this on @hunterlee ! I'm gonna have to spank him and his new beau! worse yet, I may call them both during off hours...(cue evil laugh... wahahahahahahahaha )

http://www.weirdhut.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/cat-asleep-after-playing-with-thread.jpg

 

Hehe, who is the cat and who is the yarn?

[pubic_assistance]

Honesty is the best policy. Time for both of you to open up and start discovering who you truly are. We all approach relationships with our "best face". If you truly want to be with someone they need to accept you at your worst too. Vulnerability comes with relationships. Be yourself and see if he likes that. Same goes for him too.