Gay sex parties

[Lankypeters]

I'm only now learning about gay sex parties, particularly ones held in NYC.

[klifhangar]

"Disabuse you"? Is that a thing?

[Lankypeters]

"Disabuse you"? Is that a thing?

"....to persuade someone that a belief is untrue or unlikely"

[LookingAround]

I'm afraid there will be no one left if you want to vet the sexual and other histories of the working guys in NYC.

[Lankypeters]

I'm afraid there will be no one left if you want to vet the sexual and other histories of the working guys in NYC.

I suppose they didn't get good at what they do by staying home nights.

[whipped guy]

Well I have never been to a private sex party in NYC, but there are venues where all sorts of sex occurs and I'm talking unsafe sex... or at least sex without condoms. Of course in my book that's the same thing.

 

At one such venue a guy who saw another guy approach him with a hardon said, "Fuck me hard!" The response was, "I'm HIV positive!" His retort was, "I don't care. Fuck me!" Now, there were plenty of free condoms available. It just happened to be that none were within arm reach. I remember saying that I would get some. However, before I could act the deed was done. Perhaps both guys were poz. Who knows, but still irresponsible in my book. Yet what about different strains or other diseases. I don't think the Center for Disease Control was involved!

 

I need not say more...........

 

Regarding the OP's question... We all take certain risks... Assume every partner is a poz. That's all I can say.

[nycguy]

My impression is that unprotected sex is prevalent at these events

 

Yes, just as it is prevalent during one on one hookups, escort hookups, A4A hookups, grindr hookups, scruff hookups, etc, etc.

 

I've become aware that a working guy I've been seeing is a regular at these parties (when he gets off work!) and I'm wondering if I should continue to see him. Comments? Discussion?

 

What comments and discussions are you looking for that haven't been covered in a 100 similar topics here? Do you think you are going to find out anything new? It's only been a few days since we had the last safe/bareback topic so I quess we were long overdue for a new one.

 

anyone who attends one and practices unsafe sex is the one with his head under a rock

 

Take cock the way you want - safe or raw. It doesn't need to be made into a group discussion here.

[+ WmClarke]

It's only been a few days since we had the last safe/bareback topic so I quess we were long overdue for a new one.

QFT.

[+ beethoven]

A friend of mine goes to gay sex parties all the time, and I'm absolutely sure he would never go bareback, though I've never asked him. You can't generalize about these things.

 

Disabuse is one of those words where the "dis" form isn't the opposite of the word that doesn't have it. I've seen it used a lot, and I use it, too.

Just like infamous isn't the opposite of famous. English has lots of these. My favorite is disgruntled.

[JayNY]

I'm checking out Adam website right now, there is a section just for sex parties in NY. There are about a dozen posts about BB parties this week in NY. I hope all these guys are Prep ( test frequently for STD's).

[nynakedtop]

Should I "come out of the closet" on this discussion?

[mike carey]

"Disabuse you"? Is that a thing?

"....to persuade someone that a belief is untrue or unlikely"

Yes, and it's usually used in a construction like to disabuse [someone] of [something] rather than just to disabuse [someone].

[klifhangar]

I'm just mad that I'm never invited.

[LADoug1]

What does QTF mean please?

[+ WmClarke]

What does QTF mean please?

QFT (not QTF) = Quoted For Truth

[Rod Hagen]

IN the late 90s and early 2000s I was a regular at the irregular O-boy and QED and Sons Of Bachus parties. We called them orgies. 50+ guys, and in the QED and SOB parties you had to be muscular (before acceptance to the group you were "interviewed" between parties--so Elitist, but nobody who got in complained). Condoms were mandatory.

 

Also, importantly, nudity was mandatory. Related to another thread, Millenials are not as comfortable being nude as the three generations (greatest, boomer, X) before them. And so the few Millenial sex parties I've been to were very disappointing. Nudity is NOT required and as a consequence there's a lot less sex and a lot more lookie loos (spelling).

[MscleLovr]

There are lots of sex-parties in the world. Generally organized online, I know of "Chemsex" parties being very popular in London, regular gatherings in Buenos Aires (monthly in an apartment, with an upper age limit of 35, and weekly in a sex-cinema with no age limit) etc. And of course there are smaller parties set up by groups of friends in various cities. I know some of these parties are organized for profit by escorts. And it seems realistic to me to assume that some escorts may attend such parties.

 

To answer the OP, my view is see this guy if you like him but be sure to follow safe sex practices. You can only ever know for certain that you yourself play safe.

[Juan Vancouver]

Lankypeters,

 

Having sex with another human being is a risky thing.

 

If you are going to limit your sexual activity to people who only have condomed contacts, test religiously and never make mistakes or have accidents, you are going to have to follow people ALL THE TIME to make sure your rules are respected.

 

This is impossible, and pretending you can is a childish fantasy that does nothing but give you a wrong sense of safety.

 

I'd be happy to disabuse you of your misconception, it's not sex parties that are full of risks, it's not bare backers, it's people with their head under a rock who believe they can control all the variables in every single partner they have sex with.

 

Someone wrote that your sexual health begins with yourself. In my personal experience this is absolutely wrong. The hell I will ever allow anyone to share the responsibility over my body. My body, my rules.

 

Your sexual health begins and ends with yourself. This is not a shared load. Nobody can share this responsibility with you. Engage in every single contact as if your partners had all the diseases you fear and make sure you correctly understand the risks in which you are incurring. Understand and choose the ones you are not willing to take. If you don't want any risk, stop having sex with people.

 

Respectfully, because of having read your numerous and very passionate posts about the topic, I can tell that you are not well informed about the current sexual health knowledge and are reacting to the subject in an emotional manner that hinders your ability to be rational and make the correct choices.

 

If you don't want to have sex with anyone who ever has had unprotected sex, even by accident, then I urge you to stop having sex with human beings.

 

Otherwise, I recommend you read (and carefully understand) the official information about this subject, not emotional personal opinions, and make your own choices.

 

Wishing you many years of wellness!

[+ HornyRetiree]

. Assume every partner is a poz. That's all I can say.

[BaronArtz]

Should I "come out of the closet" on this discussion?

 

Yes, please.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Lankypeters,

 

Having sex with another human being is a risky thing.

 

If you are going to limit your sexual activity to people who only have condomed contacts, test religiously and never make mistakes or have accidents, you are going to have to follow people ALL THE TIME to make sure your rules are respected.

 

This is impossible, and pretending you can is a childish fantasy that does nothing but give you a wrong sense of safety.

 

I'd be happy to disabuse you of your misconception, it's not sex parties that are full of risks, it's not bare backers, it's people with their head under a rock who believe they can control all the variables in every single partner they have sex with.

 

Someone wrote that your sexual health begins with yourself. In my personal experience this is absolutely wrong. The hell I will ever allow anyone to share the responsibility over my body. My body, my rules.

 

Your sexual health begins and ends with yourself. This is not a shared load. Nobody can share this responsibility with you. Engage in every single contact as if your partners had all the diseases you fear and make sure you correctly understand the risks in which you are incurring. Understand and choose the ones you are not willing to take. If you don't want any risk, stop having sex with people.

 

Respectfully, because of having read your numerous and very passionate posts about the topic, I can tell that you are not well informed about the current sexual health knowledge and are reacting to the subject in an emotional manner that hinders your ability to be rational and make the correct choices.

 

If you don't want to have sex with anyone who ever has had unprotected sex, even by accident, then I urge you to stop having sex with human beings.

 

Otherwise, I recommend you read (and carefully understand) the official information about this subject, not emotional personal opinions, and make your own choices.

 

Wishing you many years of wellness!

 

+1,000,000

 

Remember, feelings aren't facts.

[Phil_musc]

Maybe that's what is meant by "alternate facts."

[nynakedtop]

Yes, please.

I've been going to sex parties in NYC and elsewhere for years now, and I would say I have an 80% "pass rate" in terms of enjoying them.

 

Let's be crystal clear about one thing - unless explicitly stated, sex parties are not about "playing safe" - by entering into that space, i acknowledge that, I recognize the risks and rewards, and I decide whether or not to indulge and to what degree...

 

Am I concerned about "disease"? Well.. STDs are certainly no fun, but as someone living with AIDS since 2003, I reserve the right to claim some autonomy over my body... and to make decisions carefully and mindfully.