My Escort Won't Leave

[BobbyThompson]

It started innocently. After a long flight from Hong Kong to LAX, I was exhausted and feeling sore. I got home and immediately took a nap, but still no better. It's late and it would be rude to call the girl that I normally get a massage from, so I hop on gay.com

 

Almost right away a masseur is online. Blond, 26, 8X6, all inconsequential since I'm looking for something theraputic. It could be Bruce Vilanche for all I care. Anyway, he comes over at about 2am. He gives me a massage for an hour, but then it starts to become a little less professional. All of this occurs "off the clock." I really wasn't in the mood, but hey, we were already half way there.

 

Afterwards he starts talking about how we'd make a good couple and you're so this and that, blah blah blah. I can't wait to see you again - sort of thing. I'm like woah, let's not start the matrimonial parade.

 

Now I have this kid sleeping in *my* bed. I don't know how I got an overnight for $80, but I don't want it. I want to iron my clothes, put away my suitcases, answer my email, and sleep alone. in my bed.

 

This is not post-coital ennui. I'm usually very good about getting myself out of awkward situations. Not this time I guess. I just thought that you pay an escort to leave at the end of the session, hence the convenience? What should I do? Turn on the sprinklers? Have Miss Kitty just on his head? Set the bed on fire?

 

Well, it could be worse. He could be snoring. Oh, wait. He is.

 

Bobby Thompson, written from the comfort of his couch/makeshift bed.

[Candyman]

Bobby-you iron!!! I don't know what your going to do with your new friend but you can move into my place anyday. If you do windows I'll marry you }(

 

Candyman-it melts in your mouth, not your hands

sweet and sticky and tastes so good :9

[hiJinX]

Do all the stuff you need to do. Wake him up and tell him you "can't sleep with a hot guy in your bed" and that you need to rest. At first it will seem very complimentary but by the time he is half way home he will realise you have just tossed him out of bed after getting some lovin.

A clever one-nighter used the line on me, and I didnt catch on until I was around the corner from his place.

If he has any sense, you'll never hear from him again. And at least you know not to hire him again or let him in your bed.

[bigguyinpasadena]

BOBBY!!!!IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT!!!You are too cute for your own good!(just kidding)often the impending arrival of a jealous husband or a family member will get him out the door.

[HooBoy]

Tee hee...I have a similar problem. I just flew into New York and an escort friend came over and is still here (sleeping in my bedroom) almost two days later while I find myself on the living room couch.

 

Unlike your situation, my visitor is not here falling in love with me. When he is awake, he mostly talks about himself, and oddly enough, you Bobby. Face it, you are a magnet for hot boys everywhere, a predicatment shared by the likes of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Toby McGuire and Sebastian Bonet. }(

 

Now, what would it take to get you to come east and iron my clothes?

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Now I have this kid sleeping in *my* bed. I don't know how I

>got an overnight for $80, but I don't want it.

 

lol... I remember the last time that happened to me. Well, come to think about it I don't... The more I have to remember the more I forget. (That must be it.)

 

On the scale of ''Shit Happens' this one is on the sweeter smelling end of the scale'. :*

 

P.S. From the sound of it your 'trunks' made it back too.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Unlike your situation, my visitor is not here falling in love

>with me. When he is awake, he mostly talks about himself, and

>oddly enough, you Bobby.

 

LOL... let me guess.... :7

[marc anthony]

>

>LOL... let me guess.... :7

 

 

I know the answer! I know the answer! Teacher, teacher, call on me! ooh ooh ooh

 

(waves hand wildly in the air)

[eastbayguy]

>This is not post-coital ennui. I'm usually very good about

>getting myself out of awkward situations. Not this time I

>guess. I just thought that you pay an escort to leave at the

>end of the session, hence the convenience? What should I do?

>Turn on the sprinklers? Have Miss Kitty just on his head? Set

>the bed on fire?

 

Just send him over to my place. Call if you need directions.

 

--EBG

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Tricking 101

 

Bobby, obviously, you were in some far away place during the lecture in Tricking 101 where they decribed how to get rid of a trick (which is what this guy was, even if you paid him for the massage), not an escort situation.

 

In the first place, he never should have fallen asleep. Actually, sex should never have occurred in the first place. Finally, there are extremely competent body workers who have LMT in their profiles or ads, who do not find it necessary to list their dick size in same, who would likely have given you a very good session of body work and nothing more.

 

Your clothes would be unpacked and ironed and you would be safely in your own bed. Alone.

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Oh dear... Sounds like you're in a pickle BT.

 

Why not awake early in the AM and play something truly terrible (i suggest an hour-long rendition of 'Chopsticks') on your keyboard, thus waking his sorry butt out of YOUR bed and hopefully getting him on the road.

 

... or you could always throw kitty on him and let the claws take care of the rest

 

What i still don't understand is why silly gay men like him find the need to do this to others. I understand that Bobby is probably being more gracious than he needs to be, but anyone with half-a-wit knows that it's ultimately an uncomfortable situation and would just leave.

 

Here's wishing BT a speedy recovery from a crappy hand dealt, especially after that very long flight from HK. If worse comes to worse, you could always just whip out your schlong and beat him to death with it. It could happen

 

ARGH. Speaking of flights, now i must repack, as my own 9 hour flight (GIG-MIA) begins later this evening. Here's hoping for a showing of anything other than terrible sitcom reruns. *crosses fingers*

 

 

Warmest Always,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[+ glutes]

This is exactly why I do not do "out calls" with a Massage Therapist or Escort. If they don't wind-up casing the joint or taking something, they will 'over stay', or worse, show-up later unannounced.

Glutes says IN CALLS only!

Did you send him home yet Bee Tee?

[Spida]

Well I feel terrible now, I never knew how many ways people were trying to get rid of me! I thought chopsticks on the piano was endearing! Oh my! ;-)

 

I have to say this never happened to me, but I look forward to the day it does.. Well maybe not it might be one of those times "watch out what you wish for you just might get it".

[Guest zipperzone]

Now I have this kid sleeping in *my* bed. I don't know how I got an overnight for $80, but I don't want it.

 

Life's a bitch and then you die!

[Candyman]

Final Answer

Just wake him up and tell him that you have to go down to the free clinic to get your shot. Just pray that he doesn't need to join you there

[Guest Merlin]

Maybe you are a little to set in your ways. A little to obsessive/compulsive about ironing your closthes and doing chores. I suggest you try being a little more spontaneous, a little more willing to take what life sends you. I suggest you curl up with him get your sleep, have some fun in the morning, and worry about you ironing later.

[Uncle Bill]

Glad you're back in town, Bobby! I'd be happy to come over to your place, toss the guy out, and give you that massage -- no charge, LOL.

[Uncle Bill]

Glad you're back in town, Bobby! I'd be happy to come over to your place, toss the guy out, and give you that massage -- no charge, LOL.