What would you do?

[Jock123]

Hey Guys!

 

As Some of You know I've been very Active on this Forum. From reading the Many Inteligent Posts/Responses to Posting myself.

 

I know this may File In the "Ask an Escort" Category but I really wanted to hear from Both Clients and Escorts.

 

 

About 3 Weeks ago...Out of the Blue...A Client whom I had met about a Year and a Half ago shot me an Email asking If I was Still In Business. I Was flattered he even contacted me as I DID Remember Him and even more so remember us Hitting it off very well. Once he learned I was In Business he asked If I would like to spend 5 Days with Him In Vegas. I Live no where close to Vegas so this left me no Choice but Giving him my Real name to Book a Plane ticket. I'm usually reluctant about giving any personal Information but we HAD Met In the past so I felt I could be Comfortable. We Agreed upon a Rate and he told me Hed Send me the Itinerary once he booked It. Throughout those weeks I had other people asking to get Together In the same timeframe and Had to decline as I was EXPECTING to see Him...Afterall we Had met before so I didnt get any sense It wouldnt happen.

 

We spoke Pratically every other day through Emails...He said He was Very Busy working so just hadnt had time to Book the Tickets...according to him they were Usually the same price anyways In that timeframe. To be Honest I've never flown anywhere. All of my Work has either been local or me Driving which has had me Travel quite a bit of distance at times. Again this is mostly due to me not wanting to give PERSONAL Info...But I felt comfortable enough telling him since we had a good time In the past.

 

Literally THREE DAYS Before we are to meet he canceled the trip all together due to work related Issues.

 

 

I still havent responded to his cancelation because I'm not even sure whats the Appropriate response? Basically after him canceling I reached out to those who were still Interested In getting together and now they have other plans....Which leaves me not making money...at all.

 

Do I ask him for half the rate we agreed upon? I've never been In this Postion before so I dont really know what to do. If I'm being Frank I feel like I shouldnt even have to ask...He should have Offered...Am I right on this?

 

Any Input would help. Thanks guys.

[MikeyGMin]

First, you need to come to Austin. We know how to treat gentlemen here.

 

Second, if he didn't offer then he isn't a good guy and is unlikely to send you anything even if you ask.

 

The escorts can probably give you better practical advice, but I imagine it will include asking for a deposit if he ever dares to contact you again. And maybe for a trip like that a deposit up front was in order.

[OneFinger]

So sorry you had to experience this. And, I'd be personally concerned that he has your "real" name and some personal information.

 

I think honesty is the best approach. I send him a professional e-mail stating that you had declined other numerous offers to honor his commitment. In light of that fact, you are requesting (not demanding) a cancellation fee of $xxx. Personally, I don't think you'll get a penny from him but I feel you do deserve compensation.

 

I'm not a big fan of paying in advance. But, in cases like this, I'd probably not book an appointment without a plane ticket in hand or a pre-pay fee. Perhaps in your e-mail exchanges you could have added, "If I do not receive the plane ticket or advance fee XXX weeks in advance, I'll consider the appointment cancelled and will book other appointments." Remember, this is a business transaction and you need to use standard business practices.

[Guest]

I think that your mistake was to decline other offers when no ticket had been purchased. Once you had an agreement and negotiated the rate, he should have purchased the ticket if he'd been serious. Hopefully you will have some clients during that period of time. I'm not sure you want to see him again, but if you do, of course, you shouldn't make any other plans without a deposit. What's your website or ad, by the way? I'm sure potential clients here might want to know...

[+ glennnn]

So wrong! So disrespectful. The guy is a douche. If he doesn't come through with some remuneration, other escorts need to know to avoid him.

[Jock123]

I sent him an Email asking for a Cancellation fee a few minutes ago. The more I think about this I'm actually getting pissed....Its not right. At the same time I am at fault for "Assuming" ESPECIALLY without a Ticket. I dont know...I've met Him before and We REALLY hit it off. I guess thats why I wasnt Hesitant...And assumed he would actually follow through. As much as I need the Money, Its more about the principal for me...It shows a lack of Respect of my time.

[+ glennnn]

Don't blame yourself, my innocent one. You are honest and aboveboard and naturally assumed he was, too. Don't lose faith; in my long life the good guys far outnumber the bad ones. Just learn from it and try to move on. Perhaps he will do the right thing after all.

[down_to_business]

As someone who has been on the opposite side of what you are going through, and more than once, with different people in various stages of our client escort relationships (from first time to multiple years) I can really empathize with you. Being so hesitant to open up and trust someone with your personal info, and then the first person you decide to do that with violates your faith like that- what a double edged sword to deal with in one sitting. I would imagine he had no idea of what a precious gift "your trust" that you were giving him or he wouldn't have dared thrown that away.

 

What you can't do is let it eat away at you, or withdraw further into the privacy shell so far that you can't get out. You also can't force him to pay you for a meeting that never happened and you really should take the high road on this one and not sink to anyone else's level of "eye for an eye" justice (i.e. blog blasts of his personal info which in turn could lead to him blog blasting your personal info). I think it would be very reasonable that this particular client would need to put up a deposit prior to booking any future engagement. I would not recommend adopting an advanced deposit format for all. Treat people like you don't trust them and they will usually live up to your expectations.

 

In these situations (I do hire Vegas trips like this a lot), I always assure the escort he will have his e-ticket within 48 hours of giving me his personal information so he does not have to sit around and wonder about whether or not I was catfishing him. Then again- I am the one that gets burned on these deals and not the escort. Haven't figured out how to protect myself yet! Go figure.

 

Again, very sorry you put your faith in the wrong person and I hope it doesn't deter you from doing it again very soon (except for this time the right person).

[HoseMaster]

Hello there Jock,

 

The last few hires have been people I've flown in to see me. It worked out great. One guy was hesitant at first, until he got a recommendation from another person that has hired him in the past. I got their name and birthday, and bought them a ticket right away. Two of the three guys I still kept my appointment with, even though my 87 year old father had passed away two days prior to one appointment. But that's me. I'm pretty reliable. If I say I'm going to do something, I follow through right away with the tickets even with people I haven't met before. I've never been burned yet, but I supposed there's always that chance. Sorry if happened to you like this.

 

BTW, what/where is YOUR ad? I might be curious to hire you!

[josh282282]

I always asked a down payment and I would book the flight myself. Down payments can be done in various ways. One option is to ask the client to get one of those pre-paid credit cards in the right amount. He sends the details of the card to you by email, text or any other means. Next you use the balance of the credit card to book the flight yourself. Now however the client has a risk, e.g. that you don't follow up and that you use the balance of the card for other purposes.

 

Hey all you clients out there:

 

The above escort is certainly being reasonable in asking for the flight to be paid in advance. Yes, he needs reassurance that your extended booking is legitimate and having the ticket in his hand will address this. But absolutely REFUSE if the escort asks for pre-paid gift card to be sent to him so HE can book the flight. If the escort decides to bail on you and not show, you now have lost a lot of money with no way to get it back. It's a completely unreasonable request and strategy for him to reduce his risk. Simply decline any such requests. Many escorts are wonderful and would never dream of stiffing a client. Unfortunately, some do, so protect yourself: no pre-paid credit/gift cards.

 

To all escorts: I'm so sorry there are jerks out there who play games, book and no-show, or otherwise treat you with disrespect. You are all angels in my book and deserve to be placed on a pedestal and treated like the princes you are.

[jvanchicago]

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. I, like the other members, know from your posts that you like to keep a certain level of privacy, and it really sucks that one of the first people you bend that boundary with turns out to be such a disappointment. I hope you can see a silver lining in this, as hard as that may be- now that you got bailed on, you will know what to do differently next time. Like others have said already, please don't let this deter you from branching out and making your business be as great as it can be. Take the suggestions here, put them into practice, and always follow your instinct. I'm sure a situation where you'll be requested to travel will come up again, and now you'll have this experience to look back on and know what you need to do to ensure you don't get stiffed again. In the end it will be this client's loss, as he will now have a bit of a red flag attached to him in your book.

 

And, on a completely selfish note, I agree with the others-we need to get a link to that ad. Just from your many fans in this forum, you would stay busy for a long, long time!

[Guest]

I never gave my personal information, not even if I had to fly. I always asked a down payment and I would book the flight myself.

 

Well, that may be the case if you haven't met the guy, but as a client I would never hire an escort I hadn't met for a short visit first. And I would never agree to a long hire for someone whose name I didn't know. How long would the escort keep up the silly charade? Would the flight attendant greet him "Welcome aboard, Mr. Kevin Jones!" and I would have to pretend I didn't hear that and say "So, what would you like to drink, Steve?". The escort will obviously know my real name from the airline reservation/receipt, and I expect to know the escort's. Obviously I understand why most escorts don't want their real names on their web ads. But once you're getting together, especially for a long hire, calling someone by a fake name becomes really silly. And sending large sums of money to someone I don't know so he can do god knows what with it? No, thanks. "I don't trust you enough to tell you my name, but send me lots of money, please. Just because I don't trust you, doesn't mean you shouldn't trust me." Yeah, right.

Before either side agrees on a long hire, you should both feel comfortable knowing each others' names, or you shouldn't be thinking about taking a trip together. I assume the client isn't some bum. He probably has more to lose by being "exposed" that the escort does.

[LADoug1]

I think it would be very reasonable that this particular client would need to put up a deposit prior to booking any future engagement.

 

I can't imagine why you would even consider meeting with this client again for any reason, even with a deposit. Too much resentment will create a bad vibe.

 

I agree with above posters who suggest a deposit up front before you commit to future extended sessions like this with almost any client.

[LADoug1]

But once you're getting together, especially for a long hire, calling someone by a fake name becomes really silly.

 

Such a touchy subject. After spending numerous sessions with my sweet favorite escort I finally considered us friends enough to ask his FIRST name. That is still all I know. I thought it was silly not to use it. And it increased the feeling of intimacy. I wouldn't ask his last name unless it became necessary. I do know the first initial though - it's monogramed on his towels! LOL

[mike carey]

I must confess I don't stress over what an escort's name is (or any posters in here) and I respect their desire to maintain the level of anonymity that goes with a stage name. I have accidentally found out the real names of some people with whom I have met or chatted in here, I've had one escort I've PM'ed with here tell me his real name (but I still address him by his stage name, go figure!). @Jock123, I very much doubt that this was an elaborate plot to find out what your personal information was, and as annoying as it was, I suspect that he actually was too busy at work. That doesn't mean you need to meet up again, especially if it involves travel.

[Jock123]

You know what...

 

Just as there are Reviews for Escorts there should be a way to Review a Client...

 

If an Escort were to Cancel LAST MINUTE and a Client had spent money for a 5 Day Trip Plane Tickets etc...Basically not only losing money but Unable to find someone else...Chances are That said Escort would recieve a negative Review and Ripped apart on here...

 

 

Cancelations are going to Happen. Thats Understandable. But when You ask for 5 Days of my time which Has me turning down Potential clients looking for that same time Frame...Not cool. I would have asked for Half the fee for someone I hadnt met yet...Or at least confirmation of the Plane ticket. But this is Someone who Knows me...whom I met before...who now has my name.

 

Respect goes both ways. That simple.

[+ José Soplanucas]

You know what...

 

Just as there are Reviews for Escorts there should be a way to Review a Client...

 

If an Escort were to Cancel LAST MINUTE and a Client had spent money for a 5 Day Trip Plane Tickets etc...Basically not only losing money but Unable to find someone else...Chances are That said Escort would recieve a negative Review and Ripped apart on here...

 

 

Cancelations are going to Happen. Thats Understandable. But when You ask for 5 Days of my time which Has me turning down Potential clients looking for that same time Frame...Not cool. I would have asked for Half the fee for someone I hadnt met yet...Or at least confirmation of the Plane ticket. But this is Someone who Knows me...whom I met before...who now has my name.

 

Respect goes both ways. That simple.

I wish I could be more sympathetic but I will not be until I have a link to you ad.

[down_to_business]

You know what...

 

Just as there are Reviews for Escorts there should be a way to Review a Client...

 

If an Escort were to Cancel LAST MINUTE and a Client had spent money for a 5 Day Trip Plane Tickets etc...Basically not only losing money but Unable to find someone else...Chances are That said Escort would recieve a negative Review and Ripped apart on here...

 

 

Cancelations are going to Happen. Thats Understandable. But when You ask for 5 Days of my time which Has me turning down Potential clients looking for that same time Frame...Not cool. I would have asked for Half the fee for someone I hadnt met yet...Or at least confirmation of the Plane ticket. But this is Someone who Knows me...whom I met before...who now has my name.

 

Respect goes both ways. That simple.

 

 

Actually that isn't true.

 

Most of the escorts who have stiffed me on airline tickets, and even the one who stiffed me on my Barcelona Cruise (where I lost my cruise deposit and his and my roundtrip airfares to Barcelona, prepaid tours, and pre paid hotels) got not even a ruffled feather. I had to eat the entire thing and only had the ability to tell a few people about it in private. There is no justice for clients either.

 

Well, I did get more than 5 days notice, but he did wait until after the change/cancel period allowed had passed to cancel on me for my dream vacation.

[+ Gar1eth]

I want to put in a word on cancellations. I think in 10 years of hiring I had to cancel travel plans 4 times. There are legitimate reasons to cancel. However I'm fairly sure in all but possibly one case-I cancelled over a week ahead of time. The one time I may not have-I was sick. And while I didn't feel awful (GI disturbance), I canceled because I didn't want to pass anything to the escort.

 

So in one case, I was going to the escort's home city. I didn't pay him. But again it was over a week ahead of time. I did offer him the theater tickets that we were going to use but he didn't want them.

 

Twice when I had to cancel (once for work and once for illness), I'm pretty sure I let them keep the value of the airplane tickets. (I used to use Southwest so this was doable).

 

And once I think I paid the escort close to the full fee due to the fact that I felt bad about having to cancel at the last minute (this one might have been less than a week before the visit).

 

Gman

[+ saminseattle]

Rather than asking him to compensate you based on what you expected to earn from the job, or 50% of what you expected, you might ask him to make up for the business that you lost because of your commitment to him. I suspect he may not appreciate the extent to which you had to turn down other opportunities that are no longer available unless you specifically explain it to him. After all, you know how busy he is with work, but maybe he doesn’t know how busy you are.

[marylander1940]

Hey Guys!

 

As Some of You know I've been very Active on this Forum. From reading the Many Inteligent Posts/Responses to Posting myself.

 

I know this may File In the "Ask an Escort" Category but I really wanted to hear from Both Clients and Escorts.

 

 

About 3 Weeks ago...Out of the Blue...A Client whom I had met about a Year and a Half ago shot me an Email asking If I was Still In Business. I Was flattered he even contacted me as I DID Remember Him and even more so remember us Hitting it off very well. Once he learned I was In Business he asked If I would like to spend 5 Days with Him In Vegas. I Live no where close to Vegas so this left me no Choice but Giving him my Real name to Book a Plane ticket. I'm usually reluctant about giving any personal Information but we HAD Met In the past so I felt I could be Comfortable. We Agreed upon a Rate and he told me Hed Send me the Itinerary once he booked It. Throughout those weeks I had other people asking to get Together In the same timeframe and Had to decline as I was EXPECTING to see Him...Afterall we Had met before so I didnt get any sense It wouldnt happen.

 

We spoke Pratically every other day through Emails...He said He was Very Busy working so just hadnt had time to Book the Tickets...according to him they were Usually the same price anyways In that timeframe. To be Honest I've never flown anywhere. All of my Work has either been local or me Driving which has had me Travel quite a bit of distance at times. Again this is mostly due to me not wanting to give PERSONAL Info...But I felt comfortable enough telling him since we had a good time In the past.

 

Literally THREE DAYS Before we are to meet he canceled the trip all together due to work related Issues.

 

 

I still havent responded to his cancelation because I'm not even sure whats the Appropriate response? Basically after him canceling I reached out to those who were still Interested In getting together and now they have other plans....Which leaves me not making money...at all.

 

Do I ask him for half the rate we agreed upon? I've never been In this Postion before so I dont really know what to do. If I'm being Frank I feel like I shouldnt even have to ask...He should have Offered...Am I right on this?

 

Any Input would help. Thanks guys.

 

Flights are always cheaper if you buy them in advance and very few times they go down close to the departure time. You should ask him to book the flight as soon as possible and also send you a booking fee in advance of whichever amount you consider appropriate deductible or not from your 5 days fee.

 

One more thing, not only you gave him your full name for him to book the flight but also according to the TSA rules your date of birth... the combination of those 2 things could lead to identity theft, be careful!

 

I think that your mistake was to decline other offers when no ticket had been purchased. Once you had an agreement and negotiated the rate, he should have purchased the ticket if he'd been serious. Hopefully you will have some clients during that period of time. I'm not sure you want to see him again, but if you do, of course, you shouldn't make any other plans without a deposit. What's your website or ad, by the way? I'm sure potential clients here might want to know...

 

Good point, he should have kept them on hold till everything was booked but also the promise of a client he met before hiring him for 5 days sound very appealing $.

[Guest]

I must confess I don't stress over what an escort's name is (or any posters in here) and I respect their desire to maintain the level of anonymity that goes with a stage name.

 

That may be true for an hourly hire, but are you honestly going to tell me that you've gone on a trip with someone whose name you didn't know, or that you would send large amounts of money to someone whose name you didn't know?

[mike carey]

That may be true for an hourly hire, but are you honestly going to tell me that you've gone on a trip with someone whose name you didn't know, or that you would send large amounts of money to someone whose name you didn't know?

I don't know what the normal protocol is for revealing real names, but as I said before I have come to know some names without having made it part of my hiring decisions. The points you made are moot at the moment, I haven't gone on a trip with an escort, nor am I likely to send a large amount of money to one irrespective of whether I knew his name. If either of those looked like happening, I would have to think hard about it.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I had to cancel once, an appointment with Sean Xavier. He was very understanding and did not ask for any compensation. Unfortunate as cancellations are, I think they are part of the risk involved in the profession, one of the several reasons why escorts have such a good fee per hour. I would have not asked for any compensation and move on.

[LADoug1]

I had to eat the entire thing and only had the ability to tell a few people about it in private.

 

How sad that we have to keep the fact that we hire such a secret from most people.