Escort interested in meeting me without money..?

[s99099]

Hey guys so I hired my first encounter and it was great. He was very nice and stuff. He kept complimenting me and saying I was attractive in its many words.

 

At the end of the session he mentions we should get lunch.

 

Anyways since then we went to dinner and he told me that he didn't expect me to pay for the hours we spent at dinner, just conversing.

 

So what's the deal with that? He also mentions that we can hang out in the future even if my budget does not allow it. Anyways he's very attractive and smart and kind. Just kind of weird why he'd give me the time of day since I don't think I'm an Adonis.

 

I hope he's not reading this either!

[Kuriousity]

Well, from what I am gathering from posts on this board, sometimes escorts do socialize off-the-meter with men who have hired them, BUT "sexy time" is is generally not included---fucks up the business model. The person best equipped to handle this question is Mike Gaite. This situation sounds like line blurring, and by his own admission, Mr Gaite blurs lines frequently & he is probably the one to ask.

[keithhardy]

Glad you had a nice experience, keep in mind escorts are no different then anyone else, maybe this guy is attracted to you and found an interest in you. He could be single and looking for a relationship or even a friend. I would run with it and not read too much into it. I have developed friendships in my many years in doing this with clients that I saw and are now just friends, in a none sexual way. I hope this helps.

[Kuriousity]

Keith brings up an idea....maybe he's using escorting to find a person to date. I recall a thread from a couple months ago where it was mentioned that there was a "twinkish" escort who seemed to be using escorting to find men he found personally attractive so that he could service their needs, so the idea that he would be into you is not exactly far fetched, but it is not exactly common, either....

[keithhardy]

Keith brings up an idea....maybe he's using escorting to find a person to date. I recall a thread from a couple months ago where it was mentioned that there was a "twinkish" escort who seemed to be using escorting to find men he found personally attractive so that he could service their needs, so the idea that he would be into you is not exactly far fetched, but it is not exactly common, either....

Could be.....the going out to eat and not charging is not all that uncommon. If he is line blurring he will soon find out the next time he invites him over, if he asks for $$ or not. It could be a genuine interest or part of his "marketing strategy", in time he will find out. I am curious to know how this turns out.

[Kuriousity]

Could be.....the going out to eat and not charging is not all that uncommon. If he is line blurring he will soon find out the next time he invites him over, if he asks for $$ or not. It could be a genuine interest or part of his "marketing strategy", in time he will find out. I am curious to know how this turns out.

 

If it's a "marketing strategy", it is a little bit cruel....it could be construed as leading someone on....

[keithhardy]

If it's a "marketing strategy", it is a little bit cruel....it could be construed as leading someone on....

I don't disagree.....but it happens.

[Kuriousity]

I don't disagree.....but it happens.

 

Fair point.....those sorts of escorts--to borrow a Madeline Albright line--will burn in Hell. Bad karma to toy with emotions.

[+ glennnn]

I also "hit it off," with an escort and would love to see him for lunch occasionally with no sex attached and perhaps become a platonic friend. I also want to keep fucking him, too and am happy to pay for it. I don't know how to ask if we can blur these lines. I cant really afford to hire him just for lunch. I don't want to embarrass either of us, or fuck up what is a very satisfying sexual relationship. Guess it's best to just leave it as it is, but I find myself in his area with time on my hands and keep thinking how nice it would be to meet and talk with him. Tangled webs indeed.

[Kuriousity]

I also "hit it off," with an escort and would love to see him for lunch occasionally with no sex attached and perhaps become a platonic friend. I also want to keep fucking him, too and am happy to pay for it. I don't know how to ask if we can blur these lines. I cant really afford to hire him just for lunch. I don't want to embarrass either of us, or fuck up what is a very satisfying sexual relationship. Guess it's best to just leave it as it is, but I find myself in his area with time on my hands and keep thinking how nice it would be to meet and talk with him. Tangled webs indeed.

 

Well, don't try to adjust what is not really malfunctioning. Wait & see if he brings it up...otherwise, let the dog sleep.

[+ sf westcoaster]

I have established a social relationship with a number of escorts but have never crossed over into the intimacy side without escort fees.

[+ glennnn]

Thanks for the response, Kuriousity, and the advice. I know you are right.

[+ glennnn]

Well, don't try to adjust what is not really malfunctioning. Wait & see if he brings it up...otherwise, let the dog sleep.

 

I have established a social relationship with a number of escorts but have never crossed over into the intimacy side without escort fees.

 

That's just it. I am happy to hire him as an escort as often as i can and pay for intimacy, but I'd also like to have a drink together as friends sometimes, that is "establish a social relationship", too.

[Kuriousity]

Well, that social aspect would probably be easier to come by with escorts 35 & up. Younger ones probably have much different social tastes, and the worldview would be different, and for social interactions to work, there has to be some commonality

[MikeyGMin]

That's just it. I am happy to hire him as an escort as often as i can and pay for intimacy, but I'd also like to have a drink together as friends sometimes, that is "establish a social relationship", too.

 

This is not out of the realm of possibilities, but I would be careful about being the one who suggests it. Many things are the client's call. When and how often you hook up, what you do etc., but any off-the-clock hanging out is really up to the escort IMHO. You could make him extremely uncomfortable if you suggest it and he has to tell you that he needs to be compensated. It could also hurt a lot to know your feeling of friendship is not returned. It's dangerous ground.

[+ glennnn]

Wise words. I'm not going to pursue this idea. I'm happy to have physical compatibility and content to continue in a client/escort relationship. Just dream trippin'. Thank you so much for the honesty and tact. You guys are the best.

[+ purplekow]

Wise words. I'm not going to pursue this idea. I'm happy to have physical compatibility and content to continue in a client/escort relationship. Just dream trippin'. Thank you so much for the honesty and tact. You guys are the best.[/quote)

 

Why is it that so many men who post here seem to have difficulty with the concept of asking for that they want. I am bad at it myself but geez, if you want to go to lunch say with an escort say:

 

After I pay you to have sex with me, do you want to go out and get something to eat off the clock?

If it is true, you could add and perhaps after lunch, if this old body of mine is able, we can have a second session. No promise on that, but why don't we see what happens at lunch.

 

He may say yes. He may say no. He may say, well if there definitely is a second session, I have no difficulty having lunch. Relationships are negotiations. The first rule of negotiations is ask for more than you want and offer left than you are willing to spend. So just ask.

[TruHart1]

I have met a number of special escorts whom I hired and because I've wanted to hire them repeatedly, I have asked a few who seemed to click with me if they'd enjoy a meal afterword. I pay for the meal but no extra for their off the clock time. There are even a couple of escorts I have hired who have expressed an interest in meeting socially off the clock. When I plan to be in their area and I've pre-set our paid playtimes, they will call me if they aren't busy or working and just want to hang sometimes. Often we'll just explore their particular cities and talk and share ideas like good friends. These particular men have, indeed become good friends.

 

As stated previously, escorts are people too and if two people click, even if they meet first because one hires the other, it's enjoyable to share time and a bit of our lives with each other. Other escorts may be all about keeping the time we spend together about the business of only making me happy in the bedroom for the time I've hired them. That's just fine, especially when they are expert at making me happy and fulfilled

 

A few though, like one amazing man, who stayed up talking with me all night off the clock, just giving us a chance to get to know each other, end up friends. I never expect anything like a committed relationship and I always let them set any ground rules, but I love the closeness we've developed over time. A marketing strategy? It does not seem so when we seem to communicate so well AND they trust me with much of their private lives. Anyway, I know I am going to continue to savor these special friendships my entire life!

 

TruHart1

[LADoug1]

This is not out of the realm of possibilities, but I would be careful about being the one who suggests it. Many things are the client's call. When and how often you hook up, what you do etc., but any off-the-clock hanging out is really up to the escort IMHO. You could make him extremely uncomfortable if you suggest it and he has to tell you that he needs to be compensated. It could also hurt a lot to know your feeling of friendship is not returned. It's dangerous ground.

But as Keith Hardy said "escorts are no different then anyone else". They also may like the companionship of a client even if it's off the clock. That said they also might like to be asked out and not always be the one initiating the meet-up.

[LADoug1]

My most favorite and special escort and I have had meals out both with and without a sexual meet-up. If it's after sex I usually tip him if I know we'll be going out after but I don't think he expects it. I think he sincerely enjoys my company both on and off the clock. I know I enjoy his.

[+ Truereview]

@s99099 , I believe you are overthinking it. Like any relationship prospect, you don't know what your playmate truly wants ( whether he is a doctor, fireman, or escort), so why not explore? Just make sure you are open to the possible outcomes: a loving relationship, a fun time, a ploy to turn you into a sugar daddy, etc. Whatever it is, play it smart, but PLAY - don't stay in your head.

[MikeyGMin]

I have met a number of special escorts whom I hired and because I've wanted to hire them repeatedly, I have asked a few who seemed to click with me if they'd enjoy a meal afterword. I pay for the meal but no extra for their off the clock time. There are even a couple of escorts I have hired who have expressed an interest in meeting socially off the clock. When I plan to be in their area and I've pre-set our paid playtimes, they will call me if they aren't busy or working and just want to hang sometimes. Often we'll just explore their particular cities and talk and share ideas like good friends. These particular men have, indeed become good friends.

 

As stated previously, escorts are people too and if two people click, even if they meet first because one hires the other, it's enjoyable to share time and a bit of our lives with each other. Other escorts may be all about keeping the time we spend together about the business of only making me happy in the bedroom for the time I've hired them. That's just fine, especially when they are expert at making me happy and fulfilled

 

A few though, like one amazing man, who stayed up talking with me all night off the clock, just giving us a chance to get to know each other, end up friends. I never expect anything like a committed relationship and I always let them set any ground rules, but I love the closeness we've developed over time. A marketing strategy? It does not seem so when we seem to communicate so well AND they trust me with much of their private lives. Anyway, I know I am going to continue to savor these special friendships my entire life!

 

TruHart1

 

I think this is a perfect example of when it does work, but they are the ones that suggested meeting socially and you let them set the ground rules, so you aren't risking messing up a good thing. I'm never going to agree with @purplekow that you just ask for what you want in this regard. It's not a matter of sacking up and acting like a man...it's a courtesy you should give an escort by not putting them on the spot. ( I did it once, many years ago, and was told the time would need to be compensated. The client/escort relationship never had the same ease after that. )

 

I'm in the same situation you have with an amazing man who have I gotten to know quite well and expect to continue to become even better friends. There is the "professional" time with the escort, and then we spend hours talking just as Mike and "real-person-behind-the-escort-persona." (RP for short.) I'm 100% confident this is not a marketing strategy. He has become a confidant and adviser to me, and he knows that I care about him as a person. We are both quite capable of separating the escort part of the relationship from the Mike/RP part -- BUT they do go together at this point. I hang out with the escort and RP on the same evenings. I could see something come up, some event we are both interest in, where we might just hang as Mike and RP, but I don't see me putting him on the spot and initiating that kind of thing in the near future. He has his own very busy life. I appreciate the true personal connection we have made and will give him the courtesy of controlling the boundaries.

 

Of course people can "throw caution to the wind" and "give it a shot," but you can fuck up a good thing, so one has to be prepared for a negative outcome. ( Meant more @glennnn than you TruHart. Asking about a meal right after a session is much different (to me) than asking to meet on an "off" day.)

[MikeyGMin]

You are overthinking it. Like any relationship prospect, you don't know what your playmate truly wants ( whether he is a doctor, fireman, or escort), so why not explore? Just make sure you are open to the possible outcomes: a loving relationship, a fun time, a ploy to turn you into a sugar daddy, etc. Whatever it is, play it smart, but PLAY - don't stay in your head.

 

I almost always agree with you...but not on this one. I mean this in the most loving way -- you get around a LOT. I don't get the impression that @glennnn does, so the risk is much greater for him. It's not all play, play, play when you are seeing just a few guys. They become proportionally more important.

 

EDIT: Never mind. I retract. This thread has two tangents. TR is responding to the OP and I think he is correct. I'm thinking much more of glennnn's situation where he has much invested in the relationship. My bad.

[Kuriousity]

I almost always agree with you...but not on this one. I mean this in the most loving way -- you get around a LOT. I don't get the impression that @glennnn does, so the risk is much greater for him. It's not all play, play, play when you are seeing just a few guys. They become proportionally more important.

 

EDIT: Never mind. I retract. This thread has two tangents. TR is responding to the OP and I think he is correct. I'm thinking much more of glennnn's situation where he has much invested in the relationship. My bad.

 

Nah--don't retract. These threads go where they go....you just provided your insights. On a side note, your RP is a doll from what I see

[+ Truereview]

I almost always agree with you...but not on this one. I mean this in the most loving way -- you get around a LOT. I don't get the impression that @glennnn does, so the risk is much greater for him. It's not all play, play, play when you are seeing just a few guys. They become proportionally more important.

 

EDIT: Never mind. I retract. This thread has two tangents. TR is responding to the OP and I think he is correct. I'm thinking much more of glennnn's situation where he has much invested in the relationship. My bad.

Hola, MikeyG. I edited my post to avoid confusion. Thanks for pointing out the tangents. Besito. -TR