Escort interested in meeting me without money..?

[+ glennnn]

An interesting thread with much to think about. Thanks to the OP and everyone else.

[HobbesianAcademic]

My two cents: Even if an escort asks to do something social "off the clock" I won't. I don't do this to get things muddled and as far as I'm concerned the whole "I'm paying for time" isn't just the legal loophole. I'm paying for an erotic relationship with strong cemented boundaries, the main one being set times. I'm so militant about this that I've ended up paying for emails (vary long emails discussing play boundaries) and one time I had a scene run long by 15 minutes because of aftercare (i.e. not fully within my or the Escorts control) and I "tipped" 50+ next session to make up for it.

 

I have had escorts offer to meet up off the clock and even play off the clock. I always turn it down and I'm gone as a client if it happens more than twice.

[+ not2rowdy]

Escorts are people with feelings and interests just like anyone else.

 

I often offer, clearly, to provide an off-the-clock meal before or after a session. The provider can accept or decline - his choice.

 

I’ve helped providers with totally unrelated needs. Things like running them around to find something they need or have been shopping for. Or taken them sightseeing if they are a new visitor to the area. Off the clock.

 

I have been invited to dinner by escorts. Off the clock.

 

I’ve even offered a room for the night to traveling providers, clearly stating upfront there could be no paid session. Just a place to stay and decent meal. Totally platonic. Off the clock. And it’s been accepted.

 

But I have always been clear about separating off-the-clock things against their professional services.

 

It really isn’t that much different from any other profession in that regard. Would you feel uncomfortable going sailing with your dentist, off-the-clock? Or going skiing with your attorney, off-the-clock? Or being invited by your auto mechanic to go on a hike, off-the-clock? I don’t. The key is just to make clear that the rule is “no business” during that time. And then do your part to honor that rule.

 

And it has worked well for me. And I haven’t tried to use it as a way to take an advantage.

 

Show respect.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I agree. Ask for what you want. I've done it myself. Like this:

 

After (or before) our session, would you like to grab a bite to eat? My treat of course, but off the clock. No pressure! I know you may be busy.

[keithhardy]

Escorts are people with feelings and interests just like anyone else.

 

I often offer, clearly, to provide an off-the-clock meal before or after a session. The provider can accept or decline - his choice.

 

I’ve helped providers with totally unrelated needs. Things like running them around to find something they need or have been shopping for. Or taken them sightseeing if they are a new visitor to the area. Off the clock.

 

I have been invited to dinner by escorts. Off the clock.

 

I’ve even offered a room for the night to traveling providers, clearly stating upfront there could be no paid session. Just a place to stay and decent meal. Totally platonic. Off the clock. And it’s been accepted.

 

But I have always been clear about separating off-the-clock things against their professional services.

 

It really isn’t that much different from any other profession in that regard. Would you feel uncomfortable going sailing with your dentist, off-the-clock? Or going skiing with your attorney, off-the-clock? Or being invited by your auto mechanic to go on a hike, off-the-clock? I don’t. The key is just to make clear that the rule is “no business” during that time. And then do your part to honor that rule.

 

And it has worked well for me. And I haven’t tried to use it as a way to take an advantage.

 

Show respect.

I think you make very valid points, I will tell you some guys can handle this and some can't. I have developed friendships with former clients and current, my rule is I don't sleep with friends, we can be friends but anything more we go back to a business relationship. A former client who has become a very good friend struggles with this, he feels because I am his friend I should "put out", for lack of better terms. I have not till this day and I won't because again in this relationship and my everyday I don't sleep with friends......I am also pretty sure escorts have developed romantic real life relationships with someone that was once a client. I truly feel open and honest communication is key, but remember there is that VERY fine line that could change the entire relationship....feelings muddy the water in all types of relationships, including an escort client relationship......I know first hand.

[+ DickyF]

I have met a number of special escorts whom I hired and because I've wanted to hire them repeatedly, I have asked a few who seemed to click with me if they'd enjoy a meal afterword. I pay for the meal but no extra for their off the clock time. There are even a couple of escorts I have hired who have expressed an interest in meeting socially off the clock. When I plan to be in their area and I've pre-set our paid playtimes, they will call me if they aren't busy or working and just want to hang sometimes. Often we'll just explore their particular cities and talk and share ideas like good friends. These particular men have, indeed become good friends.

 

As stated previously, escorts are people too and if two people click, even if they meet first because one hires the other, it's enjoyable to share time and a bit of our lives with each other. Other escorts may be all about keeping the time we spend together about the business of only making me happy in the bedroom for the time I've hired them. That's just fine, especially when they are expert at making me happy and fulfilled

 

A few though, like one amazing man, who stayed up talking with me all night off the clock, just giving us a chance to get to know each other, end up friends. I never expect anything like a committed relationship and I always let them set any ground rules, but I love the closeness we've developed over time. A marketing strategy? It does not seem so when we seem to communicate so well AND they trust me with much of their private lives. Anyway, I know I am going to continue to savor these special friendships my entire life!

 

TruHart1

I too had a relationship with one escort - very sweet guy who would stop by when he came through my area and we would talk about life and challenges and music and all sorts of things. He also invited me to his home town and we had a very nice time though a session at a hotel was paid for. It was like this for about 10 months.

It ended by -- I told him I was going to Palm Springs CA for a week in Oct. He said he's always wanted to go there. So I said I can use miles to fly him from NYC. I offered 1st class RT but he only wanted 1-way coach. He also was going to get his own room. He planned to go to LA afterwards. I only asked for a little extra time with him besides our usual as compensation which he was fine with. Well you may have guessed the rest - when I go to pick him up at PS airport he is not on the plane. Not on the next flight either. No calls email text nothing for the rest of my trip. When I'm leaving I call him one more time from a pay phone at the airport. He answers! Obviously was screening. Says he is sorry and is writing me an explanation. Never hear from him again. I know he is avoiding me. Bottom line it sucked and I felt hurt. My only guess is a better offer came up so he decided to blow me off and doesn't want deal with any acknowledgement.

He is probably a rare case but just so you know what's possible!

[+ not2rowdy]

...my rule is I don't sleep with friends, we can be friends but anything more we go back to a business relationship. A former client who has become a very good friend struggles with this, he feels because I am his friend I should "put out", for lack of better terms...

 

That’s also a valid point. But I’ve have some success switching back and forth between “friend” and “business”. I generally have little problem separating the two personas. As I see it they are in “business” to provide a service. If they are with you to provide that service they deserve compensation. But that doesn’t mean that they (and you) can’t shift back to “friend” once the professional business has been completed.

 

I think it would be very rude to expect a provider to “put out” at a lower than your historical agreed rate. It goes back to showing respect.

 

I always try to let the provider know that he is the lead for which persona is being used in any situation. But "professional business" will be compensated.

 

...I am also pretty sure escorts have developed romantic real life relationships with someone that was once a client. I truly feel open and honest communication is key,....feelings muddy the water in all types of relationships, including an escort client relationship......I know first hand.

 

I’m not too worried about a romantic relationship developing. I’ve got enough sense to know that I’m too old and financially limited for that that to happen on their part ;-)

[Paddy]

As a client I have a hard time switching personas. I stick to the rules I know because if you put yourself out there because you feel like there's a connection, you can get your emotions stomped on if the other person doesn't see it that way and a decent acquaintance becomes too awkward to continue. (Have I shared my headology issues enough for people to figure out why I hire? It's because I know what to expect and what is expected. I know the rules and rituals and I definitely do not when it comes to regular relationships or encounters, so I tend to keep everyone at a certain distance).

[+ Eric Hassan]

it seems like there are a few different perspectives on here. the one thing i would have been concerned about was the lack of clear communication BEFORE anything happened. as an escort, i can say i've had clients i've gotten close with and had occasional off-the-clock time with, but it's always something i discuss directly and openly so that everyone is aware of what is happening.

[LADoug1]

Escorts are people with feelings and interests just like anyone else.

 

+++1

[curiousnomore]

If he wants to see you "Office the Clock" let him. If you're interested.

[Jock123]

This is actually very Common. I've met some Clients In my past whom I would Spend the night with, Go to Football Games with Clubbing etc "Off the clock" What (Some) Clients have to Understand is that everyone pays the same...but Its REFRESHING(As an Escort) when You meet someone whom You just...Vibe with. Those who are Respectful and also See you as a Human Being. You cant fake or force a connection.I enjoy Embracing those I Vibe with Heavily.

 

 

At the same time I try to be Very Cautious of doing this as this allows for Lines to become Blurred. Business is Business. And the last thing I would want is someones Feelings getting hurt.