Friends for life?

[+ cougar]

Jackhammer started a nice thread about his friend Gulliver with some very profound thoughts regarding friends of his life and making a great point of how important friends, true friends are to all of us.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to take this to a different place and that would be the friends we have met by hiring them as escorts. Many times some escorts will respond to some thread and affirm that they have met some truly nice clients in their career as an escort. Aside from the business aspect of escorting, they have indicated how highly they treasure that "special" friendship. It takes a giant leap for an escort and the client to keep everything in focus but at the same time, see each other as human, as friends as someone they can depend on.

I have met some really awesome guys as escorts and have even told two of them I wish I had never met them in this arena. I told them that because I know how difficult it would be to achieve a real friendship between us when it is I who "selected" them in the first place. Sometimes I find it difficult to be friends and lovers during our appointment time and then have the "out of sight, out of mind" mind set.

So for the guys who have been hiring for many years, have you really developed strong friendships with some of your regular escorts, or is my thirst to get to know these guys in a more personal level something that might not ever happen?

[guptasa1]

I think this is one of those topics that can be very hard to pin down. LOL.

 

I suppose it's important to define friendship at this point, for me anyways. For me, it's a sense of mutual trust accompanied with a little familiarity about each other, understanding, and just an all-around kindness/fondness/love that goes both-ways...just treating each other right because it's the right thing to do (even though payment may also be involved) and looking past shortcomings, etc.. Also important to me is getting to know the real person, not a facade or anything like that. Obviously this takes some time, which is why I generally prefer longer sessions...I like to give this a chance to form.

 

When I'm with an escort the first time, I definitely want to get to know them a little bit and try to get a casual friendship started. If I feel it's not going there, honestly in all liklihood I would choose not to see them again. I like spending time with guys I can bond a little with, and I realize it may not go as deep as I'd like, but it's still a good thing and hopefully real for us both.

 

Now, with someone I see regularly, I definitely need to feel this type of fondness, and there's only one escort I've truly felt this with. He really looked out for me and our times together were wonderful, and I'll always feel a fondness for him.

 

It's one of those things I think a person has to watch. I think it is possible to have a real friendship with escorts, but I also think once an escort chooses to retire, it's up to him to figure out how to proceed from there...whether he wants to keep in touch with certain clients, etc. I think clients have to accept that it's a possibility they WILL feel a strong bond with an escort and there may come a time when they can no longer see that person and will have to remember the good times, miss them, and move on. That doesn't minimize the friendship at all, but it can be hard at the same time.

 

Anyways, just my take on it.

[jackhammer91406]

A Life sentence..

 

Cougar,

Hard for me to pass this thread up and appreciate the nod.

Life is a long time, careers is this industry are somewhat briefer.

 

Having said that, I am reminded that it was a somewhat similar thread about friendships with escorts that opened up an opportunity for me to get to know an escort I never hired. He had responded privately to my post on that thread at a time when I was really trying to develop gay friends in my life. His offer was pretty simple and straightforward. After one of my 3-time-a-week workouts in town, we would meet for lunch. Over a nice lunch in a local hot spot in WeHo, he befriended me and guided me into being more comfortable spending time in GayTown. We shared much about our lives, goals and so forth. I will always be grateful for his help during those months. We talk infrequently now, but still stay in touch and although his schedule didn't allow for him to visit in Florida this past spring, he was invited and I believed would have attended.

 

I have friend in the business in NYC who I am lucky to see several times a year as a friend, and value that time. Although I imagine our perspectives are somewhat different regarding the relationship, he has told me he considers me a friend.

 

Not all encounters will end in friendship and it would probably be a stretch to say that more than a few will qualify as such. But when it happens, they are great.

 

Thanks for starting this thread..

[+ deej]

Friendships are definitely a possibility, as they are with a parking attendant or anyone else you'd meet in everyday life. But friendship can not be forced, scripted, or planned.

 

I became such good friends with an escort I hired several times we can't even think of having sex any more, and frankly I treasure the friendship far more than any sheet-slapping. We just took a photo a few weeks ago in SF with the 4 people he considers his "family". I'm honored to be in that photo. (The boy I'd hired for the weekend took the picture. ;-))

 

With another guy, I became good enough friends to loan him money for his "day job" businesss and he paid it back in trade. We became good enough friends to be brutally honest: he was a hot piece of ass and I wanted it. (And he paid me back several times over.)

 

These guys are part of my life forever.

 

True friendship is a valuable gift, and it comes in all colors of the rainbow. The trick (pardon the term) is recognizing it when it drops in your lap. THAT can be amazingly difficult because there's something else in your lap that can cloud your judgement horribly.

[FourAces]

I have a situation right now. I met a very young man (30 years younger than me) nearly a year ago. We have been friends in and out of bed.

 

But I find myself falling in love with him. I know that I'm not his type for a life long partner and try to keep things in prespective. But each time I have an opportunity to visit him or he visit me it's become more difficult to hide my feelings.

 

My concern is if I tell him about my love for him it will ruin the friendship. And that is something I never want to lose.

 

RT

[Guest rohale]

I apologise if I'm dragging this thread out of mothballs for no apparent reason than to say that this whole topic is of interest to me. As the topics asks " Friends For Life ". Sean Connery once said " Never Say Never ". I like this quote because he was talking about his return to James Bond in 1983. I tend to think his quote can be applied in any given situation.

 

Is it possible to be friends, absolutely yes and as mentioned in a previous post, it has to be mutual and it may not last forever. There maybe a bit of sadness but life carries on. I've learn't life is full of suprises. This year I met two escorts that in a way captivated me and both left a good impression on myself for entirely different reasons. Both are very smart and very intelligent. One lives in California and he lives not too far from me. I see him every once in a while. He's a part-time surfer. He knows two of my buddies and because of them we know each other pretty well now. On occassion, we get to be with eachother as escort and client. For the most part, we both have different professional and personal demands in both our lives. When I do see him socially on occassion and in that setting, to me he's just one of the guys. I never think otherwise and in the process I've gotten used to of things nowadays. He calls me quite a bit, I'm not always able to call him, it takes me a bit of time but when I do, he's always forgiving and he cracks me up. He has a great sense of humor. He's a pretty cool guy to know.

 

 

The other escort, he lives in Texas. I've come to respect him a great deal. He's a very caring individual and I try my best to keep him up to speed with what's going on in my life. Now he doesn't have to care, but for some reason in his own sort of way, he does and I'm grateful because what he has is that level of maturity that in some ways is somewhat unsurpassed for an individual his age. When I see him in person, it's always a pleasure because he's a fun guy who loves life to it's fullest. I've done one or two unique things with him. We mainly communicate by e-message every once in a while which I think is the best approach considering that we have different lives that we lead as well as living in different time zones. When we do see each other it gives us lots to talk about. I do think it's fair to say that we have certain things in common. I do consider him a friend and whether this will last for a long period of time or indefinitely, it's been a good experience.

 

Having known these two individuals, I'm better of for it. One never stops learning in life and with these two guys, it makes it that much more richer.

 

Rohale

[+ bigjoey]

i have stayed friendly with several escorts after they have retired. in picking escorts, one of the things i looked for was intelligence, no drugs and from reviews someone who seemed to be a good guy. in several cases, things clicked on a personal level so we stayed in touch; one who is straight (the others were all gay) invited me to his wedding and when i come to town, i have dinner with him and his wife (she knows about his past). i know the parents of another and his father stayed with me when he was in my town (he does not know about his son being an escort).

 

part of the secret to making good friends is to treat other people with respect and decency; that is what i do and what i look for in others. with the escorts who shared that view of life, we stayed friends.

 

alot of escorts are really great guys and i have been fortunate to find some of them. however, there are a few rotten apples out their and unfortunately when i started hiring i found a few; after a while as i became more experienced (and found this site) i was able to make better choices.

 

yes, it is possible to remain friends after the business relationship stops.