Had my first non-escort hookup! :D

[Wolfer]

You guys, omg, you guys. Yes, this is big for me, okay? So, what happened?

Well! I'd been on Grindr in October, but after a couple of weeks decided it wasn't for me (too exhausting, too much jumping through hoops, disproportianate focus on dick size).

 

One of the guys I'd been chatting was very nice and we took the conversation over to Whatsapp (way easier to communicate). But as these things go, the conversation petered out and I went on Holiday to Italy (where I railed a pornstar, I thank you very much ). Things shifted for me emotionally and I became a total hermit then, avoiding almost all social contact.

 

But last Thursday evening I was having a bit of a boring/sad episode (you know the kind) and I was thinking of what I could do to remedy this and I just thought I'd send some lighthearted funny messages to some guys I'd spoken to previously. One of the guys, who lives very near, responded immediately and started implying heavily that he was feeling frisky and in need of some sexy time. After some wild audacious flirting through texts I jump in the shower, brush my teeth and ride my bycicle all the way to his place.

 

He opens the door and he is sex on legs. No seriously, the guy is walking porn. We strike up a lovely conversation and then I'm in his arms, feeling his heartbeat, totally relaxing into one of the best cuddles I've ever had.

 

There was laughter, there was intimacy and then there was the best blowjob of my life, bar none. Period. At 1:30 am I decided to go back home because he had work in the morning.

 

I'm so happy to have had this experience. It was SO different from an escort meeting... I didn't know how much subconscious time-pressure I felt when I'm with an escort, even during an overnight, part of me is always wanting to make sure I get my money's worth. And here... I was just so relaxed.

 

I was afraid that after hiring superhot out-of-my league guys as escorts I'd be spoiled physically. But I'm not, because this guy has about the same built as I do and I was so attracted to him. I'm also happy to see that I've rediscovered my charm (well, I don't think it was ever gone, but being in a long-term relationship, you kinda forget that you have it).

 

And also part of me is going: "I can get this for free???" It's endearing to me, actually, so many people (even my regular escort!) have been telling me that I can get sexy time for free and should focus on that.

 

So... This is all new to me. I've never had a cuddle/fuck buddy and what's a good protocol going forward? I looked deep and wide into my heart and I'm happy to see and say that there isn't an ounce of me that wants anything serious out of this connection. The only reason I want to see more of him is because he's sexy, has a great personality, pushes my buttons and I'm a serious cuddleholic.

 

But now anxiety and doubt is setting in, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I've had people go awkward on me because I overshare. I wanted to put the ball in his court but the thirst for cuddles is strong and real. And also, part of me suddenly doesn't feel like dropping cash anymore for these experiences or to scratch that itch...

 

I do know he's absent minded and I have a tendency to overcommunicate so I'm reigning it in. I only sent him one text afterwards, thanking him for the lovely time but he hasn't responded since. What I personally feel is to, for now, accept it was lovely and move on and text in two weeks or something to catch up and see where he's at and wants to meet up again.

 

I'm just always so scared to screw up a good thing, you know? UGH.

[sincitymix]

id say text in 2 weeks or if you're feeling frisky again ask for another hook up but yeah, if you call or text 20 times, he might just poof in a cloud of smoke:P

[Moondance]

Wolfer, I loved reading this post, especially after reading what you shared in the thread about the holiday "blahs." Your thrill was palpable.

 

Sounds smart to me to keep your tendency to over-communicate under control, especially is he's the opposite of that. During any getting-to-know you phase, there's always that uncertainty--Does he want more than I want?--and nothing makes a guy feel that way more than too much attention.

 

I hope things work out as you'd like them to. Meantime, it's great to have gotten a reminder of your attractiveness and charm--hang on to that fresh perspective!

[seaboy4hire]

Send a simple text thanking him for a good evening. Don't go all mushy on him just a simple thank you will do. Also let him know that you'd be open to meeting again. On the rare occasion I play that's what I do and it usually leaves the door open for more meetings later on.

 

 

 

Hugs,

Greg

[Rudynate]

I'm so glad that happened. The majority of my sexual encounters are unpaid and it ^is different. It's best to see hiring as another option on your palette of choices.

[+ Truereview]

It's best to see hiring as another option on your palette of choices.

Love this thought; gonna add that to my repertoire of how to explain my hiring choice. Thanks, RudyNate!

 

Wolfer - Wow and thrilled for ya! Solid recommendations above.

[jawjateck]

Just as some providers offer services for a brief season of life, some clients "hobby" for a season to fill some needs/goals. Although some of us seem to make a career out of this, you are normal and healthy if you depart this to pursue your other options. Good for you!

[rvwnsd]

Hey, Wolfer, great to hear that you had such a great time with the guy you met on Grindr. Like others have said, a simple text thanking him for a good time is plenty. When you are feeling frisky again, send him another text and see if he is also in the mood.

[MikeyGMin]

Congrats Wolfie. Now you get to experience the wonderful world of hook ups which have completely different rules than escort etiquette. Yes, we usually hire guys that are out of our league, but there is also the benefits of simplicity in the interactions. Some folks here can make is very complicated, but if not overthought, it is really very simple and stress free.

 

As you're learning and experiencing the rules of engagement for hook ups, just remember this is something you get to experience. It's not life and dealth...it's fun!! Asking for tips on how to avoid looking like a needy stalker is smart, but don't overthink it. It's FUN! Congratulations!

[Wolfer]

Thanks guys!

 

Well, I guess I've got my answer. He never did respond to me and just now (in the middle of the night) he was online on Grindr. Guess if I'd been able to satisfy his itch he would've got back to me. Oh well. I've got my regular booked for Wednesday and have lined up an array of delightfully pleasant distractions to get me through the 24th and 25th of December (do please send me hugs and love, I am dreading those days).

 

Yes, I'm a little sad. I know people do this for a gazillion reasons which all could have absolutely nothing to do with me, but a lot of heartache over the past few years for me has stemmed from being enthusiastic about new beginnings with people that petered out (for whatever reasons).

 

Anyway, I'm gonna stick to my original plan. Text him in two weeks with a lighthearted message and see where we're at.

 

I can't bear to think having to go through the Grindr horror again just to find another gem (of an experience) like he was. So for now I'll just cuddle with my escorts. You win some, you lose some. BUT! Time for some funny stuff! (Lest this pulls us all down into the gaping pit of Christmas blues ) Two peanuts were walking down an alleyway, one was a salted... (read it out loud)

 

I did some retail therapy and bought a new, gigantic 7 inch phone! It's a two hander, people!

[Rudynate]

Thanks guys!

 

Well, I guess I've got my answer. He never did respond to me and just now (in the middle of the night) he was online on Grindr. Guess if I'd been able to satisfy his itch he would've got back to me. Oh well. I've got my regular booked for Wednesday and have lined up an array of delightfully pleasant distractions to get me through the 24th and 25th of December (do please send me hugs and love, I am dreading those days).

 

Yes, I'm a little sad. I know people do this for a gazillion reasons which all could have absolutely nothing to do with me, but a lot of heartache over the past few years for me has stemmed from being enthusiastic about new beginnings with people that petered out (for whatever reasons).

 

Anyway, I'm gonna stick to my original plan. Text him in two weeks with a lighthearted message and see where we're at.

 

I can't bear to think having to go through the Grindr horror again just to find another gem (of an experience) like he was. So for now I'll just cuddle with my escorts. You win some, you lose some. BUT! Time for some funny stuff! (Lest this pulls us all down into the gaping pit of Christmas blues ) Two peanuts were walking down an alleyway, one was a salted... (read it out loud)

 

I did some retail therapy and bought a new, gigantic 7 inch phone! It's a two hander, people!

 

A 7-inch phone? That's almost a tablet.

[Wolfer]

A 7-inch phone? That's almost a tablet.

Technically it's sold as a tablet with gsm functions. But I felt my 6 inch phone was just too small

It's quite the conversation starter when I whip it out (pardon the pun) to answer a text or incoming call.

[Jock123]

A few things about Your Post...

 

I think the Biggest Mis-Conception about those who Hire Escorts cant "Get it for Free". My Most Regular guy is 26 Years old. I've met people as Young as 19 and as Old as 81. Some more Attractive than Others but I think the Reality is EVERYONE is Tired of the Gay Hookup App scene (I.E Grindr etc) and Hiring an Escort is More Direct, Less B.S. I'm sure You're an Attractive Guy who Doesnt "Need" to Hire...But dont sell Yourself short. Really Alot of Attractive guys Hire.

 

 

Secondly Dont take it Personal. We have ALL been there. Stay Happy and Move on. Whats Meant to be Never has to be Forced. If hes meant to be In your Life(Even as a FWB) Itll happen. You let him know You're Interested to see him again. Let Destiny handle the rest.

[Wolfer]

Hiring an Escort is More Direct, Less B.S.

That's actually one of the main reasons that I still hire. It's just so easy to set up once you find a good escort.

[Wolfer]

So this story's come to an end... He went completely radio silent and it wasn't until a mutual friend (which neither of us knew was mutual) put two and two together (after first the guy telling the mutual friend of our date, then me telling the mutual friend of our date) when I mentioned the guy's name.

Apparently the guy thought I was a hoot and a half (maybe even two full hoots! ) but not interested in seeing me again in that capacity.